Which Real Skills matter to YOU right NOW? (Sharing)

Welcome to the Real Skills Workshops!

First, read About Real Skills Workshops if you haven’t already.

Second, pick your 1-5 highest priorities (you’ll see the results after you vote):

Which Real Skills matter most to YOU right NOW? (Pick up to 5)
  • Be Calm and Confident
  • Bring Relief to Pain and Trauma
  • Take Clear and Focused Action
  • Express Your Heartistry
  • Feel Emotionally Free
  • Grow in Vitality and Wisdom
  • Design and Live a Thriving Lifestyle
  • Relate and Co-Create in Healthy Ways
  • Adapt to Change with Power and Grace
  • Generously Support Others in Their Thriving

0 voters

Now, please click [Reply] and let us know what makes those Real Skills matter most to you right now?

Great to have you with us!


I voted for Calm and Confident and Take Clear and Focused Action.

The arrival of baby Adira means there are fresh dynamics to calm myself around, new needs across the spectrum for all of us, and confidence amidst the uncertainties of the world (and schedule).

Growing community here requires hundreds of small (and bigger) actions each week. I’m leveraging the skill I have at getting clarity and practicing bringing my energy into focus – even when sleep deprived.

It’s actually quite interesting to be in this practice, and I’m looking forward to sharing these real skills and learning and supporting each other in community here!


I chose four skills that matter. Calm & confident, clear & focused action, design & live a thriving lifestyle and relate & co-create in healthy ways.

I’m not sure I can separate them each into different contexts of applicability…they all seem to flow into one another and across all contexts. That’s my sense of it. They each give me an uplift when I consider them. I suppose that ‘calm & confident’ is the one skill that describes a state of mind/being as opposed to the other three which are more behavioural in nature. Calm & confident feels more like ‘me-space’ to me and the other three feel more pulled toward ‘we-space’…which is probably why I sense I’m most readily attracted to ‘calm & confident’ because the other three involve more vulnerability and commitment to action and that feels much more challenging to me.


I chose:

Be calm and confident
Bring relief to pain and trauma
Express your heartistry
Feel emotionally free
Relate and Co-create in healthy ways

If I had to choose one, it would be Relate and co-create in healthy ways.

It’s hard to overstate how important this feels to me. The entire planet as a whole would be entirely a different place if we all had these skills.


Happy tears. Thank you. I so agree. I feel the challenge and the courage required to go in this direction, and the Bigness of the effort. Appreciate you and @Glenn for co-feeding this endeavor right now.


Exactly. Which to me means skill development in one also enhances the skills in the other. Talent stacking, compounding, growth.

As we go forward with the Calm and Confident area, it is certainly a core state of being, and since it isn’t one that most “live from” without some skill, there’s a behavioral aspect, too… at its core. Like, “how do I practice behaving when I am NOT calm and confident?”

Thank you, and bless you for participating!!


Yes…good one! I believe we discuss that here quite often and you provide excellent suggestions and guidance with some practices. Some external behaviours that come to mind that help me move toward calm & confident are ‘the pause’ and breath awareness and posture awareness. Internal behaviours I can adjust are slowing down my internal dialogue/monologue and lowering my inner voice in volume and pitch and saying things that are more kind toward myself and others. I try and be aware of and use all those behavioural skills and some days I just don’t do it…well, many days actually. Some contexts for me are very predictable where I’m just ritualistically behaving internally and externally as if ‘upset and uncertain’ is the ONLY choice I’ve got…that it’s the right choice. I’m a work in progress.


I voted for being calm and confident because I want to be more this way. Calmness is important because I have known to get extremely angry and I would rather take pauses, find ways to be more confident instead of reactive.

I also love to express my heartistry and express my feelings more freely rather than shut down and freeze. I want to know the real me, not the old frozen one who feels much older than I do. I think she is 497 years older.

Even though I may never be totally emotionally free, it sure sounds like a great place to be so I chose that one.

No matter what age I am in this physical body I want to grow in vitality and wisdom. As I continue to be curious and hopefully keep up with the Body Grooving, I might make it.

And last but not least I love supporting others in their thriving. :hugs:


Would you be willing to share any specifics there? I am curious if together we can shift a chosen one of those…


Yes…I can share the specifics of this. Do you mean here or in the Tapping Circle. Either way is fine with me. Thanks.


Here would be great, so we start building up examples we can use for tapping for the workshop.


There is a very predictable situation where I ‘ritualistically’ take an emotional posture of defeat/anger/resignation/‘I don’t know what I’m doing’/‘I’m a loser’/‘I’m not skilled’/‘this always happens’/‘why do I bother?’. It’s when I have been working very diligently on some project or an aspect of a larger project in my shop and I’m putting everything into it…all my heartistry and skill that I have…my attention…my intention…all of it…and it doesn’t work out. More often than not I will very easily (and expertly) take on the emotional/physical posturing I described above. It’s quite predictable. In fact, it’s so predictable and ritualistic that as I’m typing this I’ve become aware of a part of me that is communicating “well of course you feel that way…there’s no other way you could feel under those circumstances…only an idiot would remain cheerful and positive in that situation.” …HELP!!..lol. :slight_smile:


Great list! I would also add Feeling Content with What Is. Yeah, I know, that’s all part of emotional freedom, but it’s a specific area I’ve tackled fairly regularly over the years – dismantling an old, old pattern of finding reasons for discontent. It tied in, for me, with early-learned habits of criticism of self and everything else, so it’s been a sticky, tangled topic, with many layers and tangents. Lucky me for finding EFT, the emotional layer-peeler, twenty years ago! Those occasional ‘spikes’ of ‘this isn’t/you aren’t good enough’ don’t last long these days – tap tap tap :wink: Cheerio! Jo


Being calm and confident so that I can bring relief to my past trauma, adapt to change, and design a thriving lifestyle where I can also support others in their thriving. The one that stands out for me is supporting others in their thriving. I get to do that with my job and in my love life. The more I build skills of calm and confidence, grace with change, clearing out old traumas, the more capacity I have to do this work.


Wow, I love reading these replies! And seeing how these Real Skills layer into our Being over time…

Right now, the ones that feel most ripe for me to continue cultivating include co-creating a thriving lifestyle, supporting others in their thriving, taking focused action, expressing my Heartistry, and relating in healthy ways.

Mostly very We-Space oriented! Because I’m so much happier to have a thriving, mutually nourishing We-Space, and it’s so vital to nourish that for our family, as we integrate a new baby (who will be mobile all too soon!), continue to homeschool our first-grader, and move into this new phase of family life together.

And, I know that for the We-Space aspects to thrive, I also need to keep expressing my Heartistry in the world, too. It’s easy to focus primarily on family life right now, but it’s also vital to my well-being to keep seeing clients and know that my work nourishes a larger circle of people than just within our home! And, amidst the needs of young children, it takes extra clarity and focused action to do anything else beyond meeting the immediate needs! So that’s an aspect that needs attention to keep it all in balance. :yin_yang:

Also, I notice that, for the most part lately, I already do feel fairly calm, confident, and at ease with meeting changes — much more so than when my son was a baby! I’m much more centered in who I am now, largely because our We-Space feels supportive of that.

I’ve also done so much work on past trauma over the last few years, that right now, I’m actually feeling remarkably emotionally free, am much less often triggered these days, and overall am generally… well… happy! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

It’s an interesting experience, to be so happy in this postpartum time, given that I had a lot of fears about how hard having a new baby would be (given my previous one!), and it’s been… well, surprisingly easeful overall. Sure, there are challenging moments, especially with lack of sleep, but I notice that I can recalibrate far faster now, and the more I realize that truth (having spent seven years growing these skills!), the easier it is to embody.

So, in contrast with my first, I’m finding it pretty natural to be Calm and Confident with our daughter, in ways that were a huge struggle when my son was little & I was miserably sleep-deprived and in lots of pain. (Having the skills to relieve pain and stress more quickly now has obviously made a huge difference, too!)

And, I know that it’s also so much more easeful now precisely because all the other real skills of healthier relating are at play too! So cheers to all of them!

Looking forward to continuing to co-create this space, to nourish All of us in our thriving!


The Real Skills that matter to me right now are: taking clear and focused action, being calm and confident, growing in vitality and wisdom, designing and LIVING a thriving lifestyle and adapting to change with power and grace. I think I chose these 5 skills specifically because my life in this very moment is changing at what feels like breakneck speed! I’m selling my home, leaving my ancestral home, packing up my belongings that matter most and moving across the Pacific Ocean to Oahu to design and co-create an Ohana (family) Compound with my son and his family. This is where I will most need vitality and wisdom as I introduce the concepts of Me Space and We Space and the importance of safety, respect and understanding to my unsuspecting (? :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:) family! My :heart: is so grateful for this Community Center and all of our members who share their experiences with such courage and vulnerability :heart:


I love that… “unsuspecting family” – oh the Joy they shall know. :joy_cat:

@Jem and I were talking about these Real Skills and how they are skills for our state of Being… where change REALLY happens. I so honor the real skills you are demonstrating and how that informs and has guided such a big external set of changes. I’m excited for where you are headed, and YES to those skills for you!


Thanks, Rick! I really don’t think I could have even made this decision without all that I’ve learned from you and ThrivingNow. Real Skills for our state of Being really resonated with me…YES!!


I love that episode. We quote it a lot a home. Lol