Everything is So Hard!

Real Skills Workshops
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#1

 Real Skills Workshop - Community Event

RS 2022-08-14 Hard

Everything is So Hard!

Real Skills Workshop: Be Calm and Confident

Hosts: Rick Wilkes (@Rick) and Cathy Vartuli (@Cathy)

Sun Aug 14 2022 at 5pm EDT / 2pm PDT (90 mins with a 7 min break)

We hope you’ll join us, and bring a guest!

:point_right: Click Here to Register

  • You are welcome to attend as our guest, Free!

If you are able, your financial support is needed…
and greatly appreciated! :purple_heart:

  • You can support this specific workshop on a gliding scale of $7.11 or more. Thank you!

  • We’re now offering our full Circle Membership for a gliding scale 1-Time Fee. You automatically get all the Real Skills Workshops, Circle coaching sessions, 8 self-paced coaching programs, and more. Gliding scale $98+. We hope you’ll join us!

Circle Members are already registered.

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#2

It really really is so hard for me right now. Things seem to go from bad to worse. I had back pain and sciatica. It was improving. Then something happened and it got worse. Now I’ve had a cortisone injection that was intended to help heal it. Maybe it still will in a week. But now it is worse still. Hospital is being mentioned. I was meant to be telling my kids about our separation today. That cant happen now I’m
In this pain. I was meant to start a new job on Monday. Now I can’t. All I can do is lie down.

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#3

I’m sorry that you are experiencing so many hardships at this moment…

Peace

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#4

It’s really even more a challenge when things cascade, one thing on another on another. Physical pain seems to sap emotional strength, which then makes the physical pain worse so often!

I know part of what this workshop will cover are microsteps, especially when anything “more” can’t happen because of resource. Is there a tiny movement that can help the back feel a tiny bit freer, like it isn’t needing to “freeze.” After my trip my own back was pulled, sciatica, etc., some really sharp pains. So I’m back there, with a gentle squeeze, or a little tiny tiny wag of my “tail” slowly and mindfully – my body will tend to freeze with pain and struggle so anything that moves me towards unwinding makes it feel less like it will never get any easier.

I’m actively holding a Good Thought for you!

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#5

Thank you for that reminder Rick. I am sorry to hear your back was affected by your trip as well.

There have been moments where I was able to connect with the micro connection and movement you’ve described. Yesterday after I posted here I listened to part of one of the RS workshops from 2021 that encouraged the micro steps. I think I will listen to more of it today. This reminder has allowed me to breathe and let out some tears. Thank you

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#6

I appreciate your response Glenn. Thank you

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#7

The word ‘holding’ leapt out at me within the context of pain and the response of freezing/holding…so I’m inspired to write “I’m releasing a Good Thought for you…” or “I’m embracing a Good Thought for you…”
Not a challenge to what you’ve written…just thinking/feeling out loud… :slight_smile:

Nice to have you back Rick… Cheers my friend!!

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#8

Language is so nuanced and impactful isn’t it. Feeling into the blessing of releasing right now Glenn. Thank you

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#9

I can relate to this so much!
Hope I get to make it live. Would love to experience it live in the moment with the community.
It’ll be 10pm U.K. time, so may be doable :slight_smile:

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#10

I love the idea of micro steps @Rick and really giving myself permission for these steps to be enough and ok.
Especially when there isn’t an obvious ‘more’ or way, and you feel so immobilised, helpless and stuck.
I’ve felt this way about my life for so long. The constant trying to fix, solve, push on, keep going, find a way is exhausting and for me leads to more controlling, holding, resistance and struggle.
Micro steps with compassion, kindness, acceptance and surrender are often the only way for me. Letting go and be.
I think sometimes I just see things as too big, impossible, lacking the belief that it can change after years of challenges.
One of the conditions I live with is Agoraphobia and I have high levels of avoidance. I actively avoid the uncomfortable feelings of fear and anxiety. Some of this is about safety for me. I find this is compounded by living with several difficult physical illnesses, which are often exasperated by anxiety e.g. Chronic Fatigue. As anxiety is so tiring!
In this instance, I come back to micro steps again.
It can often feel living with chronic illnesses like it’s all an impossible balance to strike! Literally is day by day, moment by moment, and being ok with that to be the measure. In the moments.

Barbs :slight_smile:

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#11

Microsteps help me to tune to the non-survival wisdom my body has.

Survival wisdom has its place. But survival wisdom stops being useful for anything “chronic” I believe… because survival energy brings a lot of stress and stress chemicals with it.

BEING-energy is, I’m alive, not going to die right now if I don’t flee, I’ve got choices, and I want to savor this moment in some way.

Did you see the Too Big Too Small Workshop? As the work we did together settles in my body, it really feels that with these microsteps and next yes to next yes approaches, we can be with even really challenging realities and still… be thriving. BEING in a place where what matters to us gets a chance to be expressed.

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#12

I don’t like labels but before I knew what Agoraphobia was I called it “my problem”. It was good to know that I wasn’t alone. I, too, have high levels of avoidance and yes anxiety is so tiring. I do know how it feels. I’ve found tapping has helped me so much. Also learning I can leave or not go someplace if it doesn’t feel right has helped.
I hope you can find ways to be kinder to yourself and I hope tapping helps you too.
Love, Jean

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#13

Registration is now open!

:point_right: Click Here to Register

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#14
#15

Register Now for Everything is So Hard!

Everything is So Hard!

Are you feeling like everything is just so hard right now?

We get it. We’ve been there. We might even visit that feeling later today!

When we’re depleted, overwhelmed, or slamming into resistance to doing what we don’t want to do… our body can rebel. It can assert that everything is hard… and it shouldn’t be this hard!

But some situations are hard. Some emotional labors take a lot of heart and courage. Some life changes suck… and yet here we are.

Is it even possible to be calm and confident when things are HARD?!?

Yes. Especially if you mean being a bit more calm than you would be “by default.” And being a bit more confident knowing that you’re not doing anything “wrong” just because it is hard.

Being emotionally free when things are honestly hard is going to flow differently in our body than when things are easy and joyful. Our heart will pump stronger. Our emotional and physical muscles will need to activate and ENGAGE WITH WHAT IS… not what we wish would be.

I know this doesn’t sound great. But if you’re looking for the Airy Fairy, I ain’t them. I have loved ones who have lost their job this month, others being forced to move their home, some facing serious challenges in their love relationships, many struggling to figure out how to navigate high grocery bills and increasing rents… and even some who know their lives are coming to a close – even if they are not sure exactly when.

To be with life and love can truly be hard. The challenges can be intimately ours personally… with loved ones… or “out there” in the world but still impactful to us. Right?

That doesn’t mean we’re powerless. It does mean, to me, that focusing my power skillfully can allow for thriving (or at least sweet moments) each day. It means…

  • Acceptance and not “should-ing” on myself that it should be easier.

  • Consciously calming anxiety and fears (including ones right in my face and painfully real) in order to activate and protect my precious energy reserves.

  • Intentionally building confidence through focusing on what matters and honoring the courage myself and others are bringing.

Is this worth practicing? Is this worth spending time together seeing how this can be applied in your life?

If that’s a YES for you, we invite you to join us for our Everything is So Hard! real skills workshop on Sunday, August 14th at 5pm EDT / 2pm PDT. This donation based EFT Tapping and Coaching session is 90 minutes long and is designed to help us all be with hard aspects of life with more grace and power!

Click Here to Register

(If you can’t attend live, register and get the recording)

P.S. Our Circle Membership - now available for
a one-time payment on a gliding scale.
Circle Members get all Real Skills Workshops (and much more)!

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We hope you’ll join us!

Rick & Cathy
Your Emotional Freedom Coaches

P.S. Adira says, “Sometimes the shoveling seems like it’s just too hard…”

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#16

Register Now for Everything is So Hard!

But it COULD be Easier! I Know it Could!

You’re right! It could be easier!

But it’s not. It’s HARD.

Harder than you want. Harder than you believe it could be. Harder than it would be if life was different.

If this is the way you think, thank you. Those who are able to see the ways life COULD be easier have, over the centuries, given me air conditioning. And this computer. And my refrigerator. Even grocery delivery is back, and it’s so much easier on my eyes and brain than slogging through the fluorescent-lighted store.

But those of us who do see how things could be easier often suffer greatly in moments that are hard. A part of us yearns so intensely for a better world that, well, we activate! Or get triggered. Ugh. Makes what’s already hard even harder.

This is where Real Skill comes in.

It’s a skill to see what could be better, and accept that right here right now it is hard.

It’s a skill to honor our gift to imagine a better world for us and those we hold dear… without being entrapped by some sweet delusion that it could be or should be easier right now… ’ cuz it ain’t.

It’s a skill to let go of blame-finding (especially self-blame) about why it’s hard right now and either do what it is needed with calm confidence and courage… or adapt in some other way.

On Sunday, August 14th at 5pm EDT / 2pm PDT Cathy and I are going to be practicing these skills. It feels useful to us to build more emotional muscle right now at being able to be with hard situations and do hard things.

If that’s also true for you, we invite you to join us for our Everything is So Hard! real skills workshop. This 90 minute, gliding-scale fee Zoom session will use EFT Tapping and Coaching to help us all be more calm and confident with hard aspects of life.

Click Here to Register

(If you can’t attend live, register and get the recording)

P.S. Our Circle Membership - now available for
a one-time payment on a gliding scale.
Circle Members get all Real Skills Workshops (and much more)!

\ 564xauto

We hope you’ll join us!

Rick & Cathy
Your Emotional Freedom Coaches

P.S. Adira says, “As I navigate my leaky, floating airplane in the cold raging river, I smile and hold tight to a supportive hand. Makes the hard… easier! (Safer, too!)”

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#17

I am sorry for your pain. I do hope it is getting better.

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#18

Adira has hives. Probably activated by the pinkeye shared with her by her playmates. It’s hard on her to be so uncomfortable. It’s hard on Mom, too, up a lot of the night with a miserable loved one.

By “comparison” it’s not nearly as hard on me. Yeah, but it’s still hard.

How hard something is for you, for me, for us sensitive folks… can’t be measured by how hard it is for someone “not us.” So… if you have something that’s hard for you and you’re judging yourself in comparison to anyone else… PAUSE.

  • Pause and breathe.

  • Pause and tap.

  • Pause and consider whether you’d like to be together with us later today as we tap on what’s hard.

It was a breakthrough for me when I respected that emotional labor is still… labor. It can be hard in ways not everyone understands.

When we accept that, we at least stop expending so much energy fighting what is… and can pace and support ourselves and others who are doing the Good and Hard Work of Being Human.

Love to you, and if it’s right for you to be with us at 5pm EDT today (or join us for the recording), let us know here:

Join us for our Everything is So Hard! - Real Skills Workshop

This 90-minute, gliding-scale fee Zoom session will use EFT Tapping and Coaching to help us all be more calm and confident with hard aspects of life.

Click Here to Register

(If you can’t attend live, register and get the recording)

Rick & Cathy
Your Emotional Freedom Coaches

P.S. Adira says, “Dirt. So much dirt. Hard. So much hard.”

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