No matter how much we fantasize that control over the outcome will make us less anxious… dang! The more we try to control the outcome and have it fit within something we’re absolutely comfortable with… the more anxious we become.
Most anxious people I believe can feel the truth in this. That the more they feel they NEEEEEEEEEEED reality to be a certain way, the more fragile they feel.
The more fragile we feel, the more anxious/scared our primitive brain will make us.
Anti-fragility (resilience) can’t be build by feeling like we’re Master OVER Our Universe.
It can come from having a base of real skills that we know can take us through the surprises which, let’s be real… we know today is likely to surprise us in some way.
I’ve tapped a lot on the belief that to be competent means to be in control.
The replacement is a knowing that competence flows from capacity to calm my nervous system, confidence my body-mind sufficiently to get clarity, and then take inspired action.
That inspired action will not, almost certainly, result in exactly what I envisioned. If I don’t expect it to, then I can be open to the surprise, the complexity, and the change each new result may be inviting.
Love to you all this day, and all ways, @Rick