Which Real Skills matter to YOU right NOW? (Sharing)

Yes…I can share the specifics of this. Do you mean here or in the Tapping Circle. Either way is fine with me. Thanks.

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Here would be great, so we start building up examples we can use for tapping for the workshop.

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There is a very predictable situation where I ‘ritualistically’ take an emotional posture of defeat/anger/resignation/‘I don’t know what I’m doing’/‘I’m a loser’/‘I’m not skilled’/‘this always happens’/‘why do I bother?’. It’s when I have been working very diligently on some project or an aspect of a larger project in my shop and I’m putting everything into it…all my heartistry and skill that I have…my attention…my intention…all of it…and it doesn’t work out. More often than not I will very easily (and expertly) take on the emotional/physical posturing I described above. It’s quite predictable. In fact, it’s so predictable and ritualistic that as I’m typing this I’ve become aware of a part of me that is communicating “well of course you feel that way…there’s no other way you could feel under those circumstances…only an idiot would remain cheerful and positive in that situation.” …HELP!!..lol. :slight_smile:

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Great list! I would also add Feeling Content with What Is. Yeah, I know, that’s all part of emotional freedom, but it’s a specific area I’ve tackled fairly regularly over the years – dismantling an old, old pattern of finding reasons for discontent. It tied in, for me, with early-learned habits of criticism of self and everything else, so it’s been a sticky, tangled topic, with many layers and tangents. Lucky me for finding EFT, the emotional layer-peeler, twenty years ago! Those occasional ‘spikes’ of ‘this isn’t/you aren’t good enough’ don’t last long these days – tap tap tap :wink: Cheerio! Jo

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Being calm and confident so that I can bring relief to my past trauma, adapt to change, and design a thriving lifestyle where I can also support others in their thriving. The one that stands out for me is supporting others in their thriving. I get to do that with my job and in my love life. The more I build skills of calm and confidence, grace with change, clearing out old traumas, the more capacity I have to do this work.

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Wow, I love reading these replies! And seeing how these Real Skills layer into our Being over time…

Right now, the ones that feel most ripe for me to continue cultivating include co-creating a thriving lifestyle, supporting others in their thriving, taking focused action, expressing my Heartistry, and relating in healthy ways.

Mostly very We-Space oriented! Because I’m so much happier to have a thriving, mutually nourishing We-Space, and it’s so vital to nourish that for our family, as we integrate a new baby (who will be mobile all too soon!), continue to homeschool our first-grader, and move into this new phase of family life together.

And, I know that for the We-Space aspects to thrive, I also need to keep expressing my Heartistry in the world, too. It’s easy to focus primarily on family life right now, but it’s also vital to my well-being to keep seeing clients and know that my work nourishes a larger circle of people than just within our home! And, amidst the needs of young children, it takes extra clarity and focused action to do anything else beyond meeting the immediate needs! So that’s an aspect that needs attention to keep it all in balance. :yin_yang:

Also, I notice that, for the most part lately, I already do feel fairly calm, confident, and at ease with meeting changes — much more so than when my son was a baby! I’m much more centered in who I am now, largely because our We-Space feels supportive of that.

I’ve also done so much work on past trauma over the last few years, that right now, I’m actually feeling remarkably emotionally free, am much less often triggered these days, and overall am generally… well… happy! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

It’s an interesting experience, to be so happy in this postpartum time, given that I had a lot of fears about how hard having a new baby would be (given my previous one!), and it’s been… well, surprisingly easeful overall. Sure, there are challenging moments, especially with lack of sleep, but I notice that I can recalibrate far faster now, and the more I realize that truth (having spent seven years growing these skills!), the easier it is to embody.

So, in contrast with my first, I’m finding it pretty natural to be Calm and Confident with our daughter, in ways that were a huge struggle when my son was little & I was miserably sleep-deprived and in lots of pain. (Having the skills to relieve pain and stress more quickly now has obviously made a huge difference, too!)

And, I know that it’s also so much more easeful now precisely because all the other real skills of healthier relating are at play too! So cheers to all of them!

Looking forward to continuing to co-create this space, to nourish All of us in our thriving!

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The Real Skills that matter to me right now are: taking clear and focused action, being calm and confident, growing in vitality and wisdom, designing and LIVING a thriving lifestyle and adapting to change with power and grace. I think I chose these 5 skills specifically because my life in this very moment is changing at what feels like breakneck speed! I’m selling my home, leaving my ancestral home, packing up my belongings that matter most and moving across the Pacific Ocean to Oahu to design and co-create an Ohana (family) Compound with my son and his family. This is where I will most need vitality and wisdom as I introduce the concepts of Me Space and We Space and the importance of safety, respect and understanding to my unsuspecting (? :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:) family! My :heart: is so grateful for this Community Center and all of our members who share their experiences with such courage and vulnerability :heart:

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I love that… “unsuspecting family” – oh the Joy they shall know. :joy_cat:

@Jem and I were talking about these Real Skills and how they are skills for our state of Being… where change REALLY happens. I so honor the real skills you are demonstrating and how that informs and has guided such a big external set of changes. I’m excited for where you are headed, and YES to those skills for you!

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Thanks, Rick! I really don’t think I could have even made this decision without all that I’ve learned from you and ThrivingNow. Real Skills for our state of Being really resonated with me…YES!!

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I love that episode. We quote it a lot a home. Lol

The CALM & CONFIDENT is the #1 for me because my Type A personality is very amped up. I usually don’t take even small things calmly. I do have a lot of confidence, but I think it’s misplaced often or incorrectly done. I definitely am working to be calmer.

Had a major heart attack in Sep’19 and it was mostly due to stress and genetics. Can’t control genetics, but I can learn to control how I perceive and take action. I tend to get easily amped up and easily excitable about most anything (other words are easily triggered). I have this need to always be busy, so burn out or exhaustion are a part of this. And when I’m in a state of burn out or exhaustion, I can be more easily triggered and respond in unkind ways.

And, because I’m usually so very busy, I ignore or don’t have time to acknowledge my true feelings. So then I stuff them down and at some inopportune time, express them in unhealthy ways and then create unnecessary conflicts with those around. So my voting of the topics are based on this way of living for me. And, I no longer want to live this vicious, unhealthy, damaging cycle. It must stop and I must learn new ways to live life better.

The order of the Real Skills is really the order I need to go in, but however they are addressed, that is what will be good as well for me.

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What an encouragement YOU are, Norene! Thank you! Jo :heart:

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I’m really battering the Anxiety that has become a morning habit ! I’m clear as to why I wake up to this Emotions ( relationship, worries about what to experience in the day , fatigue ! So now that I’m clear . I work at Gratitude about what I do know which is definitely a . healthy body and many more blessings ! By midday I begin to calm my system down . The problem is that this has become a daily routine! I WANT to break this routine .

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I’m wondering if there are some supplements that could support your energy balance overnight. @Jem ?

Our emotions are in dynamic dance with our biochemistry and energy system. Gratitude soothes those systems. And, many times we can benefit from supplements that also support an energetic balance.

Also, have you tried a gratitude “dance” – moving the body with a sense of gratitude? Moving our energy is one way that energy that rises into anxiety can be flowed and balanced.

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The last few weeks, I too have been waking up with an anxious tummy and I’m clear about the reason why: I’m about to make the biggest move of my life! What is helping me is to pause several times a day and listen to what my body may be asking for…water, food, being outside, listen to Sasha purring…all simple uplifts that reassure me that I will get through this…

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I’m doing energy medicine in order to move my energy . It’s a routine that has help tremendously! My morning fatigue is not lack of sleep , it’s dreams that saps my energy upon waking up . I’ve had two consecutive days of almost perfect non symptomatic mornings . I I’m so grateful for finding a medium to this situation . My gratitude journaling has become my go to daily. I do like the dancing suggestion also ! Thanks Rick :two_hearts:

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Noreen I’m praying for your peace and grace during this challenging season :two_hearts::pray:t4:

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Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! Your love, support and prayers mean so much to me :heart:

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image @Norene

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