Letting Go Of Old Things I Thought I Wanted

 Real Skills Workshop - Community Event

RS 2022-04-26 LetGo-1200x630

Letting Go Of Old Things I Thought I Wanted

Real Skills Workshop: Feel Emotionally Free

Hosts: Rick Wilkes (@Rick) and Cathy Vartuli (@Cathy)

Recorded Tue Apr 26 2022

:point_right: Replay is below


Do You STILL Want That?

I have a hard time letting go. Do you?

Part of it is my devoted nature. Part is my hearty persistence. Part is, well, a fear of giving up “too soon.”

But here’s the thing. If I look at the wilted flowers in the nasty vase water and let go of them, I am recognizing that one expression of beauty is over but I am not giving up on beauty!!

We can let go of a former friend or lover, and actually say YES to fresh expressions of love and kinship. We can let go of an idea, a project, or even something we made (or bought) that no longer serves us…

I just find that letting go takes some conscious skill.

There’s a study of psycho-demographics that categorizes people based on their natures. I score painfully low on “destroyer” – the personality aspect that finds it easy to wipe the slate clean and start over. With this self-knowledge, I adapt by honoring my need to let go intentionally.

…Especially if I thought I really wanted it, and I put energy into having it in my life…

So… Cathy and I will be sharing how to do this with more ease and a lot less anxiety and fear in our next Real Skills Workshop - you can sign up here. (Yes, you’ll also get the recording.)

When we use EFT Tapping to calm the noise and access our clarity, what is old lets go without nearly the grief and struggle, and what is fresh and right for us now flows in.

I used this approach to let go of old, never-quite-realized plans for my business and am moving towards a fresh vision of our Circle Membership - now available for a one-time payment on a gliding scale. Circle Members get all Real Skills Workshops (and much more)!

It’s a challenge to be bold and thriving now when our hands, heart, and home are filled with Old Stuff. Let’s engage and let go together… and see what flows into our world fresh… and vibrantly alive!

:point_right: Replay is below

Rick & Cathy
Your Emotional Freedom Coaches

P.S. Adira says, “I love this tree! I shall never let go!”



Emotions in Our Stuff

It’s not “just stuff.”

What we have in our lives has an energetic, emotional connection to our body-mind. We do not only store memories and traumas inside our brain and tissues and joints. We externalize them, too.

Carol Look and I in our extensive work on Clearing Clutter (click link for more details) showed over and over again that “getting rid of clutter” is derailed when there are powerful emotions involved.

Grief. Shame. Regret. Unworthiness. Fear.

Can all that be in a piece of paper, or a book? Yes. A trinket? Yes. A toxic relationship? Yes! Of course they can.

“I could never get rid of that. It was theirs!” If you feel guilty about it, no matter how much it weighs you down you won’t let go.

“Every time I even consider clearing out my ___, I get overwhelmed and never get to it.” Of course! Who wants to face the regret that you bought ____ but never did anything with it?!?

It’s with great empathy that we return to this subject. Thriving is easier when we’re lighter and freer. Fresh inspirations don’t arise in a yard full of junk.

When we use EFT Tapping to calm the noise and access our clarity, what is old lets go without nearly the grief and struggle, and what is fresh and right for us now flows in.

Oh! You can now easily add ALL the workshops and more with a one-time payment, too. Our Circle Membership is now available for a one-time payment on a gliding scale.

It’s a challenge to be bold and thriving now when our hands, heart, and home are filled with Old Stuff. Let’s engage and let go together… and see what flows into our world fresh… and vibrantly alive!

:point_right: Replay is below

Rick & Cathy
Your Emotional Freedom Coaches

P.S. Adira says, “I am cautiously excited and ready! Let Go and Let’s Go! We shall take a baby step together!”

P.P.S. Our Clearing Clutter from the Inside Out program is a perfect companion for this workshop, too.



Letting Go Of Old Things I Thought I Wanted - Workshop Session

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Click for Computer Generated Transcript

Letting Go Of Old Things I Thought I Wanted

[00:00:00] Letting go of things. I hold things. I thought I wanted a real skills workshop about feeling more emotionally free, having some space, having the freshness and new possibilities, which old things can kind of clunk us up around Canta they really, Kevin, he bus stuck really. Um, I know that for myself sometimes until I clear the old stuff, I just, I can have lots of dreams and ideas, but I just don’t have the energy or the focus to move forward on the space to move forward on something new.
[00:00:36] Um, even if it’s really alive for me, because of all the old things, the noise of the old things, the space they take that money they occupy. Um, it just is really hard to be as intuited aligned when I have old things. And I noticed that I went to San Francisco on Thursday night with a friend to go see a musical and.
[00:00:56] When I moved here, I had had a lot of dreams about like, I was going to be in I’m an hour from San Francisco right now. I was going to be in the city like every month, doing all these cool things with all these people. And I was like, once I moved here, I’m like, oh, normally I do this after work. And it’s a two hour drive after work cause of rush hour.
[00:01:14] And the parking is just a Bismal in San Francisco. And I don’t like to parallel parking, crowded streets and people honking at me cause I’m like trying to wind things up. And so, you know, at first, the first year I did go a number of times and then now it’s like once a year, I go in for a fun time or if a visitor comes out of, out of town, but there’s a nostalgia and a expectation, then I kind of carry around that.
[00:01:38] Like I should be doing this. I live next to one of the greatest cities in the world within driving distance. Why am I not going to musicals and plays and seeing my friends and. Adventures in the park all the time. And that can stop me from creating adventures here because I live also 10 minutes from the SAP center, which is, has all the same plays that San Francisco does all the same.
[00:02:00] Like there’s a ton of stuff, but because my attention and focus is still directed a little bit at San Francisco. I’m like, oh, I won’t do the thing locally. I’m cause I’m going to go to San Francisco and then I don’t do any of them. So it’s just, it’s just sucking some energy. And that’s what I’m going to focus on for myself, because we like to release things as we go through our calls ourselves, because I want to have freedom.
[00:02:23] I want to be creating really amazing things here and now and not be going. I’m going to hold off on that until I go to the city, which means it never happens. And I miss out on. I’m Rick breath driving. Now, this is Kathy virtually from the intimacy dojo and thriving now. And we’re, co-creating this workshop with you.
[00:02:42] Um, if you’d like to imagine this a little different than like a Ted talk or something with a stage, we want to encourage people to. Feel the geometry of a circle in a circle. We can expand as more people come in, we just make a little more room for them. And, um, while we’re we’re facilitators, the chat is open.
[00:03:04] We invite you to give feedback, ask questions and things like that, that we may ask for volunteers. Um, There’s there’s a desire on our part that like, one of the things that I let go of was the idea of leading in the traditional sense I want when I landed on something, when I let go of like the old ideas about what it means to be successful and effective and have an audience dot, dot dot.
[00:03:38] Right. And I, I still work with people that have that, but it feels to them heavy. And so when we’re talking about old things, it can be an old paradigm, an old idea of, oh, well, if I’m successful, this is what it would look like. You know, I, I love the idea that. Uh, a circle and that I recognize and acknowledge the wisdom.
[00:04:06] That’s going to flow through some of you into the chat, into the call, into our shared awareness. And that this is not, this is a workshop. This is not a, a passive experience now. So when we talk about old things, it can be, oh, you know, I bought that and I really intended to learn it. And it’s sitting there.
[00:04:35] And every time I walk by, there’s a part of me that recognizes that my hobby time, even though I’m not spending any on. There’s a sort of a placeholder it’s holding, it’s holding some of our life force because it’s old. It’s not fresh. It’s not what you would even necessarily choose if you were to really consider it now.
[00:05:05] So it can be a thing. It can be the hobby that doesn’t even need a thing. It can be a relationship. Um, I, in this preparation for the call, I became aware that, you know, one of the things about like your Facebook friends list is that you can be sort of in contact with people that you’re really not alive with in your life.
[00:05:31] And because these people at one time were dance partners or even close friends or. Part life partners. There’s a sense of like, oh, I’m not wanting to label them an old thing, but there’s not really space. And so that’s another aspect of it is things that take up space. Um, and also, um, what was the other thing?
[00:05:59] Yeah. Person to place. You remember, maybe you always dreamed of going on an adventure too. Like, I, I dreamed of going on an adventure to Italy, living there with my family for six months. It never happened. But if, but there’s a part of my energy field, just touching on it, that sort of feels like, oh yeah, my living someplace else is reserved for Italy.
[00:06:23] I get still feels like a five or six. Probably gonna write that one down. Okay. And so you see, this can apply across a lot of things and it can definitely apply to clutter. Okay. It can definitely apply to something that you, you bought. You thought you wanted, it came into your world and now it’s like, it’s just not going.
[00:06:49] So we’re going to, you choose, we’re going to be stepping through this process with you. Um, and we’re inviting you to actually. Do the work of identifying with us and deciding what you’d like, I would invite you to actually write in the chat or write down in front of you. What the thing is, you choose. One of the ways we procrastinate and avoid feelings is by switching to different things.
[00:07:15] We kind of bounce something, oh, this other thing is more important or I’m going to do this. So we never really focus and dig deep with any of them. So our system doesn’t learn how to clear around it. So we invite you pick one thing and don’t make it your most valuable, like heart, like. Mother on her death bed, handed this to me and said, please keep this for the rest of your life and pass it forward.
[00:07:37] Don’t pick the Mount Everest of things. Pick something that maybe isn’t is, has value. You want to, you want to practice clearing it out and getting clarity around it. But you know, again, if it’s the Mount Everest of things, it’s not going to be useful. And if it’s something like, oh, I totally don’t care.
[00:07:54] It’s not going to be as useful either. So pick something in the middle and write it down and you’re welcome to share it in the chat because. Otherwise we can, our system will, if we’re starting to get towards something that’s tender, our human brains are very clever and we’ll distract ourselves and kind of like, oh wait, I’m looking at that.
[00:08:13] And know that the, that, oh, the call’s over. Nevermind. Um, I’ll work in a leader and all of a sudden later, late, does everyone know what later means? Never.
[00:08:25] So I’m just, if you feel a little called out, please know, I’m pointing fingers back at myself, just as severely. It’s why I talked about like the San Francisco dream for me. Um, and a couple people shared a lot of stuff I’m holding onto has sentimental value, happy memories of happy moments in the past apps.
[00:08:42] We absolutely get that. Um, and we invite you to pick one thing. Again, not all of them, cause it’s a way to distract and avoid pick one thing. We’re going to go through a process with you to give you clarity. We’re not going to tell you whatever this thing is. You have to get rid of. So I’m just using this as a visual aid.
[00:09:00] Like we’re going to help you get clarity on whether it’s useful to your life or not, and help you release things that you may be associated. Often we project, like I ha I was holding this with this really happy memory happen or this person gave it to us, to me. And we project our feelings and emotions into the thing and therefore they hold it for us and that’s totally fine.
[00:09:22] That’s how brains and human beings work. It’s a way to associate and hold something for us. We’re just going to help you get clarity on is this some, is this item worth? Or do I want to change how I keep it or do I want to release some of the things that I stuck to? It, like the things I projected into it don’t to let them go.
[00:09:42] So it’s not, you know, we’re not going to go through and say, just get rid of it. And we, so we invite you to just pick one thing and we’ll kind of help. We’ll go through this process where we’ll help you get clarity on what is it that I have in here. Why is it important? What do I need to keep about what do I want to keep memories, sweet feelings, whatever.
[00:10:01] And is there a better way to do it? Um, and then you will have clarity on what’s right for you. Um, erections, it’s good to take something general like books, um, again, in all of our work around clutter and letting go. Um, it’s really easy to think of the books and maybe that’s where you are. They’re just, they’re not individuals.
[00:10:29] And you really can imagine, like, if you want to let go of them, that’s your intention to pack them up and let them all go. Um, when I had thousands of books, I have about 25 in physical form. Now that’s a big difference. If I had, if I had take what I did. When I was working with Carol on the clearing clutter program is I took, I took one, two or three bucks and I, I actually had them and I was, I was going to make a choice related to those three bucks to let it go, keep it even recycle or trash.
[00:11:14] It. About five or six books actually ended up in the trash. Cause I, I couldn’t imagine handing them off to someone else, just like my statement. Um, so that that’s something to be aware of. Someone said, um, do my taxes. Um, I’m not sure you may relate that to something. Oh, this old thing that I fought, I wanted, and now I’m going to let go of it.
[00:11:44] Um, maybe it’s this resistance or rebellion, like you could, you could have a rebellion about doing taxes. It’s older rebellion, and I’m going to let go of that, uh, to make room for me to do my taxes. That’s how you could structure it. If you wanted, if you’re feeling just resistance to doing your taxes, it doesn’t necessarily.
[00:12:05] What were we going to be tuning to for the workshop? So, and I do think that it could fit if it’s something that keeps coming up a pattern that you have, it could be that you want to get rid of an old pattern. So there’s, I have done that myself, just kind of not doing my taxes means, you know, what does it mean to you?
[00:12:24] And so you can take that concept, but if it’s just the taxes themselves, not the pattern, then there might be, it might be harder to use. This box is full of fun. Notes and workshops. Yeah. And again, if you have boxes, pick a box, if you have files, pick a file. If you can, the idea is to do this. You’re not trying to F like, you’re not trying to feed the baby a watermelon.
[00:12:47] You’re trying to give it a bite of watermelon. Um, so that your system can learn how to do this and not associated with having a watermelon show shoved down in Sturt. Does that make sense? So, yeah, and it is, I think sometimes people will someone share that they tossed everything seven months ago, um, from that they kept from scarcity fear and lack of, and fear of the unknown fear of lack that can meet.
[00:13:15] Like sometimes we do it reactionary. We’re going to invite you to go through this and I’m not, I don’t know if they did or not, but like, it’s like, oh, this stuff’s too much. I’m just going to get rid of all of it. Whether I know it what’s valuable to me or not. And we’re going to try to take you through in a way that gives you the wisdom and the clarity and the, the quiet confidence to make these.
[00:13:35] Piles of clothes, useful lamps belonged to my parents. Yeah. So thank you, you, by sharing, you’ve helped tune Kathy and I, and I think also we share this tuning because these are the things that come up for humans. And even though you may be focused on one thing today, um, a week from now, something else may come up, maybe you see some clothes that your, or, uh, some furniture or something like that.
[00:14:06] So the good news is that EFT tapping, which we’re going to be using. And if you’re not familiar with it, we’re not teaching it tonight, but you can go to thriving now.com/tapping, um, and get a free guide, um, and sign up for some tips and things. Um, by email, you can follow along with us. The cool thing about tapping is that.
[00:14:29] Intense by, by doing what we just, uh, by identifying ID and something, it allows your energy to flow into that. Even though we may be tapping on something that’s a bit different, it’s going to take, it can take what is helpful to you and let the rest go. Um, yeah. So, yeah, so we’re going to, um, someone shared a one box of files about mediumship.
[00:14:54] I’m no longer excited about a marriage, um, or can regret giving my house over to my son and his family. It was the right thing to do. Um, I, and no longer have a place to live. Uh, so regret is one of the emotions that can come up. If we give away something before we’ve processed this and the processing can be really beautiful.
[00:15:16] And once our system gets used to this or Rick and Carol have a beautiful clearing clutter, a program that goes through the items, getting rid of items on your stuff. So you want to go deeper. That’s really useful. But I had, I was, I was not as cluttered as some people, but I had a lot of stuff years ago.
[00:15:33] And when they did the clearing clutter program, I was early in my relationship with them and I offered to, um, edit the videos and the transcripts. So I went through the program. Tapping as I went editing the vote, the videos and the audio or the audio and the transcripts. And about a week after that, I got up.
[00:15:52] I couldn’t, I couldn’t not get up. I got up at five in the morning for like 10 days and clean through everything. And I had to have a moving truck come and take things to the women’s shelter. There was so much stuff I got rid of, and it just felt natural and organic and really aligned for me. There wasn’t regret or an angst as I was getting rid of this stuff is like this no longer fits in my life.
[00:16:13] I want the space. And when we clear out things that are no longer active and viable in our life, the ener. There’s like things have noises and energetic noises and they’re kind of pinging us and pulling at us. And when we clear them out, there’s a lot more space to do other things. So, um, I think that it’s really beautiful.
[00:16:34] The work you’re doing here. If you can realize this might be a little tough at moments, like you might feel things that don’t feel great, but you’re just gently teaching your system how to get clarity and what to release when, so that you’ll have for the rest of your life. A lot more ease around it. Just to let you know, um, we’re going to be taking a break somewhere around the 50 minute to 60 minute mark for seven minutes, um, to give us a chance to integrate and tend to our needs, but please, in the meantime, anytime that you need to, um, and we are recording.
[00:17:10] So, um, if you’re done for the, for the session, you can feel free to take care of yourself and, uh, and drop off and come back and listen. And top later we do invite you to now, before we start getting into the, as we start getting into the emotions and the blocks and the like to bring yourself a little more present, a lot of words have been shared.
[00:17:39] We’ve been tuning in and you’ve been ideating something. And as you take a breath, Steve, you can notice gravity working.
[00:17:54] A lot of our body tension is to resist being a puddle on the floor. And when we’re making emotional changes, Even considering letting go of something, our body can add more tension. So one of the real skills is calming and allowing you’re allowing gravity, your body to find the right sweet spot between gravity relaxing, your tissues, your.
[00:18:30] And becoming like, uh, you know, you, you find the right little sweet spot. You might notice that there’s little bit more movement as you let gravity sink you into the seat,
[00:18:49] take a bra
[00:18:53] and allowing yourself to confidence as well. You’re here. That means you’ve got a good dose of courage. You’ve got skills that you’re bringing and you’re developing some new skills tonight, allows yourself to lift into and be present with this because the first thing I’d like to ask is how would you complete this statement?
[00:19:25] I can’t let go of this. Because
[00:19:32] I can’t let go of this because
[00:19:47] if you’d like try on a slightly different flavor, I won’t let go of because,
[00:19:58] and you’re welcome to share. If something, if you get a clear answer or if you get. We might try to share this in the chat. So for instance, for me, I don’t want to let go of this image of me in San Francisco. Cause I liked that picture of that kind of jet setting. Like I’m in a cool, I’m cool. I’m going to the city all the time.
[00:20:16] Why aren’t you going to the city? Like kind of like, oh, I’m a. Cool man. Cool. Just like a sophisticated person that goes to the city and sees all these cool things. Like I like that makes me feel yummy inside. Like to imagine myself doing that, um, and seeing my friends and feeling like it matches the image of what I see on TV for people living exciting lives.
[00:20:40] And there’s part of me that’s attached to that yet. I’m living a much less exciting life than if I had let go of that and create a new things. Um, and somebody said, you know, I, I can’t let go of it because I’m, it may be important to me in the near future. That’s yeah, I can’t let go of this because I spent so much money on it.
[00:21:03] Yeah. Some cross to get, to keep it, um, 50 years of journals because I just can’t. Um, and again,
[00:21:17] If you are saying, I actually want to like, and this is the answer to that question. I’m just checking because sometimes, you know, we’ll land on something that, oh, I just can’t get rid of it. And it actually is true. Like there would be it it’s your Everest, it’s too personal to this. But, um, just being aware of that, and it may be that you don’t want to, maybe you think you should, well, we’ll take you through this topic.
[00:21:49] You get clarity. If something really means a lot to you. Maybe through this process, you find out you want to keep them very much and keep them in a nice way in an organized way. Or you might want to scan that like for journals, maybe you want to scan them in someplace or go through and pull out the parts that matter to you.
[00:22:06] So it’s not a black or white all or nothing kind of thing. Always if there’s a lot of emotion around it, it’s okay to have to want those things. I just think it’s rather than stuffed in the box in the back of a closet. I don’t know if that’s what you do, but I do that for my old journals. Maybe if they’re important to me, I can pull them out and make sure they’re organized in a way I can actually look at them and experience them in a way that makes it more delicious because I may be giving away a part of myself.
[00:22:34] I can’t bring myself to do it because it involves going to my mom’s house to deal with it. That’s yeah, I can’t get rid of this because it’s my life and identity. That’s a big deal. Right. And if it’s a thing, you know, This is the benefit of this work is that I, I don’t know what, what actually you’re tuned to, but I’ve, I, I believe that things can weasel their way into our identity.
[00:23:07] Whereas to me are my identity. I want to be something that, that is in my core, not externalized into something. I own something that I’d even do that is like a job or something like that. So it’s. Um, and that I’m not alone in that. Um, we can feel stronger and clearer and identity. The more that we are internally referenced rather than externally identified, if that makes sense.
[00:23:38] Yes. Um, and someone was sharing about letting go of a marriage and they’d been in the marriage for almost 25 years to love him. I need, I know it needs to end. So there’s a couple, someone said that I put too much time into this too much effort, too much money are the human brain tends to think that if I put a lot into this, I can’t give that up.
[00:23:59] And so one of the things, one of the flaws that they point out in investing is I’ve already put so much money into it. I should continue. I shouldn’t just cut my losses. Um, and it is a human humans tend to like want to hold on to things. They put a lot of energy time. Focus, love into versus that love was, you know, in the moment, maybe you love that person very much.
[00:24:23] We’re glad to be there. Can you feel though the importance of that love in that moment and realize that maybe it’s not, uh, it’s not necessary to still keep giving it. I don’t have to, even though I spend a lot of money on those courses and I’ll lose them. If I don’t pay the annual subscription, I don’t have to continue paying because I’m not actually going to ever watch the courses.
[00:24:42] I can appreciate that. They meant a lot having access to the mental lot in the past. And now it’s okay to let that go for a silly, a silly analogy, but, um, let’s do some tapping. Would you, would you like to get us started tonight? So I invite you to just take a nice deep breath, see if you can breathe to your toes.
[00:25:05] And when you breathe out, let yourself sink into your body. Feel your butt in your chair, your feet on the floor. If you can let yourself look around the room and notice that you can look around the zoom room that you’re at, you know, all these people, you look around the room here. You’re in, not us that you’re saying.
[00:25:22] Rick and I are here. We have this container. We care about you. You can relax and let things process in a way that feels good for you. And we’ll just start karate chop. Even though I have a lot of feelings about this old thing I want to let go of, even though I had a lot of feelings about this thing, I want to let go of some resentment, some resentment, it’s a longing some long game.
[00:25:49] It’s very confusing. It’s really confusing. And I’m not sure how to process it all. And I’m not sure how to process it all. I’m going to select one thing. I’m willing to select one thing and just focus on that and just focus on that top of the head. There may be an answer I haven’t even thought of you.
[00:26:15] There may be an answer I haven’t even thought of yet eyebrow. And I’m really curious how I can have more clarity and freedom. I’m really curious about how I could have more clarity and freedom. So out of the, I, I feel resistance to letting go. I do feel resistance to letting go under the eye and there’s nothing wrong with that.
[00:26:37] And there’s nothing wrong with that under the nose I’m here right now. I’m here right now, 10 with all these amazing people, all these amazing people. Hello everyone. Just to get clarity on what’s right. For me, you get clarity about what’s right from me under the, on what if I don’t pre decide what I’m going to do?
[00:27:00] What if I don’t pre decide what I’m going to do top of that? What if I just go through the process and feel my. What if I just go through the process and feel my feelings and I can decide that I’m, I can see what I can decide them. Just take a breath and see if that’s okay for you. Humans. Don’t like indecision.
[00:27:22] We don’t like unknown. So we often decide, oh, I’m going to get rid of this thing. I’m going to go through this process to get rid of this. Versus can I be curious about my feelings about this thing and what a good solution is? It might be at the end that I want to get rid of it. It might be that I want to put it in a special frame and put it on the wall, or I might want to give it to someone like there’s, there’s lots of different outcomes that we don’t know.
[00:27:46] And when we pre-decide that we must do it a certain way. It really does limit our creativity and the ease that we’re going through. And I did also want to point, oh, sorry. Did you okay. Okay. Just before we go into that, I wanted to point out a couple of people said they noticed the confusion, all their stuff adds to their life, the noise that their stuff adds to their life.
[00:28:10] I want to point out that that may be a very, very smart thing you learned to do as a child or as an adult. There may have been some times in your life when something was overwhelmed. And you just didn’t know how to deal with it. And by having a lot of things, a lot of distractions, whether it was activities or things in your house or tasks you had to do, it could have helped you get through a tough time.
[00:28:33] It could have helped you avoid something. You didn’t know how to deal with. So we don’t want to rip away the support without adding. I think it’s okay to start working on this process. But if there’s old wounds that come up because of like things you were kind of burying under your stuff, it’s okay to take baby steps and do a little gentle tapping to start clearing that and healing that you have more skills now than you probably did at the point that you started creating the noise or confusion.
[00:29:03] If that’s true for you
[00:29:07] like to do some tapping and just directly on the I can’t, I won’t. So going back to what you just covered, like I can’t, because I can’t let go of this become. I want like a bus, because just as you tune into that, now tapping asks you to tune in.
[00:29:32] Even though I have some beliefs, even though I have some beliefs, it feels like I can’t let go of this. It feels like I can’t let go of this because, because just fill in your, because 'cause, I’ll let go of my identity, you know, things, I don’t want to feel somebody should put someone shared all that golf love that we create the love that we put into something or something.
[00:30:03] I said I wouldn’t. Yeah. Ah,
[00:30:11] I’m in the process of looking at this more deeply, I’m in the process of looking into this four day.
[00:30:21] I can’t let go of this and I can, I, I, bro, I won’t let go of, I won’t let go of this. Well, I really can’t let go of this. I can’t let go of this. Look at this reason. Look at this reason I can’t let go of this. I can’t like go this gym. Look at this reason I have. Look at this reason I have, and I get the sense I have more than one reason.
[00:30:55] I have more than one reason and that’s okay. That’s okay. I want the freedom of my own clarity. I want the freedom of my own clarity. There’s some oldness here. There’s some oldness here. Top of the head. There’s some old decisions. There’s some old decisions. There’s some old beliefs. There’s some old beliefs.
[00:31:21] There’s some old commitments. There’s some old commitments. There’s some old money I spent. There’s some old money aspect. There’s some invested heart in this invested heart than this.
[00:31:40] I would want my clarity and freedom. I want my clarity and the freedom. I can’t let go of this. I can’t let go. This.
[00:31:53] I won’t like, I won’t like go this will I, I am looking at this fresh right now. I’m looking at this fresh.
[00:32:15] One of the things I noticed when we were going through that happening. And also I saw someone shared that they, they gave the house that there has she and her husband and built 17 years ago, but lots of love into it, a safe place, a castle, a happy place. Um, one of the things that can happen is if we hold on really tightly to appreciation, I think that there’s a concept.
[00:32:38] Um, I learned this from my, uh, radical honesty group that I go to and I thought it was brilliant if we don’t let ourselves fully appreciated and experience because we’re afraid we won’t have other good experiences. We want to kind of hold on to that sweetness. We won’t let it. We kind of like, we want it like, oh, I really appreciate you, but I’m not going to experience it all because I want to save her.
[00:33:01] And then we just kind of leave it. We’re always holding on and never savoring. It becomes, um, a stale and toxic as resentments that we don’t share. We create, uh, a pedestal that would put the person or the thing on is being amazing and perfect when we’re, so Matt can meet with the house, like, and I’ve done this with people too.
[00:33:22] They become perfect and ideal. And I felt amazing in there. And there was never a day when the toilet stopped up or the plumbing needed to be fixed or they like, just like, everything was perfect and wonderful with the person or the thing or the, or the experience. And instead of like, oh, I can save her the love that we put, put into creating this place.
[00:33:44] The experience of it, I think love is a term. The experiences like we have that, it was like we created this thing in this world that never existed before that particular joining of our love and our effort and our attention is it was there. And can I really experience the appreciation for that experience and then let it pass through so that I’m not creating an over idealized memory of something.
[00:34:10] And then I need to hold onto it because nothing in the real world is going to live up to that amazingness. It becomes this. Token ideal thing that I can’t, nothing else can live up to. So I really, that was to me, a big aha. And they were talking about that in this class I take is like, I do that a lot because I was afraid I wouldn’t get other good experiences.
[00:34:35] If I had a good experience with someone, I would appreciate itself, but I would kind of hold on to the good feeling and then I would idealize it. So I just wanted to point that out because that can get in the way and that can really block us from just like, oh my God, that was the most, there was such a delicious experience.
[00:34:52] It was so good. Just really feeling the joy of that and then moving forward and experiencing whatever the next moment has as its own unique self in the next moment. The next experience. Which is kind of our, we have four aspects we’re going to be touching on tonight. We’re that one, what you just described is like, what do I want to keep from this?
[00:35:23] So for example, If I’m, if I’m ending a relationship or like in my body, I don’t actually ever end relationships. They change forms. They change right. Distance, right depth. Like how close we are, how much we know about what’s going on in each other’s lives and things like that. But like, for me, I’m someone who has a really close friend and now isn’t actually filling that role.
[00:35:58] The right distance is like, Hey, I still care about that person. I want good things for them, but I’m not going to be like leaving open. Um, I still want to keep the quality of me as a, as a, as a really good friend. So. If I wrote in journals, like I’ve let go of a lot of my journals. Not all of them. I have, you know, big thick want.
[00:36:25] Right. And it’s, it’s, it becomes like, oh, if I open up just that one, I’m reminded of my journey. It becomes the thing that reminds me of, of how I started. I started writing, I started asking questions of the universe and really tuning and listening for what my answer, my clarity was not. And so like, I still keep that it’s been 20, some 30, 30 years maybe.
[00:36:58] So like who keeps journals? I do now.
[00:37:05] And what do I want to keep from it? I just touched on that. I want to keep certain things like, ah, yeah, that, that is part of what my life story is. And I want to keep that alive. And the fact of the matter is, is the physical body. It’s sometimes a lot more potent for us to take something out and see our handwriting.
[00:37:31] Um, some things I don’t need that. Thank you. You may, as you’re starting to tune into this, you may think like, you know, a picture of that or a little video of it with me talking about it, it might be enough to, to hold on to, and the physical thing can go, this is, this is the clarity that we’re looking for.
[00:37:54] Not the, um, I’m letting it go. It’s, it’s finding your own clarity and that, that almost always, if it’s, if it’s in your life, you haven’t acted on it. It almost always is that there’s something that you want to keep that you think you’re throwing the baby out with the bath water kind of thing. Um, that, oh, if I, if I do this, it means I lose my identity.
[00:38:21] That was in the chat. I lose, I lose, I lose my connection with someone. Um, whereas.
[00:38:33] It may be that as you get clearer, like, oh, the connection is what is important. Like how can I maintain that connection? Even as I let go of the form and fashion of a relationship that brought us a certain kind of connection, how do I, how do I want to have a connection, um, to do this, that matters to me, but that was a lot of words.
[00:38:58] I’m feeling like I’m maybe bouncing around it because I’m doing some of my own processing here too. But ask, what do I want to keep? That’s the essential, what do you want to keep about yourself? About the thing person, place, relationship.
[00:39:25] During the chat for me, I’d like to keep my sense of, I I’m someone who likes to explore and have fun adventures. I want to keep my dignity, dignity. Dignity is can sometimes be the hardest thing that I know I have to keep hold of
[00:39:53] so just notice what it is you think you’ll lose too, if you like, what is it that, what aspect of it you do you want to hold on to?
[00:40:04] I think that distinction can make a huge difference in how we deal with it.
[00:40:12] I just landed for me. This particular friendship really showed my resilience, the resilience of my love, but like what I could be in my a S and hard and real, like hard doesn’t make it bad. And so, as I, as I feel into that, like, oh yeah, that relationship was hard. And it really, when I wrote down resilient, you know, like, oh, I don’t want to lose, you know, I want to keep my sense of being a resilient friend, which isn’t quite the same as devoted, but like, if there’s a quality of capacity and skill of being able to maintain a friendship, even through hard times.
[00:41:04] Yeah. It just part of you think that you won’t be resilient any more. If you let go of that relationship.
[00:41:19] I think that’s part of the other aspect is that, um, part of my identity is a quality of devotion. And so I had said at the time the relationship was transitioning that we would always be close friends and that is not been what has happened. And so, um, and that’s not all on me. It’s it’s life and pandemic changes and all kinds of things.
[00:41:53] Um, so that the fear of like, oh, this sort of,
[00:42:04] I think it’s, it’s the quality of quitter. Like when I. When I gave away my first keyboard, um, because it was causing too much distress for me to see something that I really hadn’t like gotten where I wanted to go. It was an old thing at that point, but I didn’t know about tapping. I didn’t know how to process that.
[00:42:24] And I just gave it away. The quality of quick tap. Um, the quality of being a quitter stuck with me around music for a long time, and it still feels as I’m tuning into it, it’s still like a three. And that’s an old thing like that old belief that you’re a quitter. If you let go of an old thing, an old relationship, um, as you know, it’s not true.
[00:42:58] My identity is not as a quitter. Um, so that’s why. Okay, go ahead. I just, I’m wondering, I think for some of us, there’s a commit we make in the moment we make a silent or verbal commitment, like my thought was I would go to San Francisco at least once a month. And that was my kind of commitment to myself and to the universe.
[00:43:21] And you made it, you were, whether you said it out loud or not, you like, I will this relationship, we will still be close friends to the house, to, to a marriage journals, like, you know, at each job, even though I made a commitment, even though I made a commitment, whether it was silent or spoken out loud, Silent spoken out loud or when I bought it, I’m investing money in it.
[00:43:46] It’s okay for me to change my mind. Kathy says it’s okay for me to change my mind though. It doesn’t feel like it’s okay to change my mind, even though it doesn’t always feel okay for me to change my mind, situations, change situations, do change, and maybe I can give myself permission to change my commitment.
[00:44:11] Maybe I can give myself permission to change my, what if that was true in the moment
[00:44:20] I brought, but reality does change. Reality does change side of the eye, and I’m trying to force myself to hold onto a stale and outdated reality.
[00:44:33] I am holding on to the stale and outdated reality. And then under that, even though I have feelings about that, even though I’d have feelings about that under the nose, I want to be present with what is true. I want to be present with what is true now, 10, I’m not aligned with that old commitment anymore.
[00:44:57] I’m actually not aligned with that commitment anymore. Hello everyone. And just like commitments of any kind, any kind of under the, of it’s okay. To acknowledge that it is okay to acknowledge that top of the head and renegotiate as I need and renegotiate as. Just take a breath and be with that. See what, what comes up for you?
[00:45:22] Some of you may be like, Nope. If I make a commitment, I’m going to stick with it no matter what, but I tend to be that way. And I’ve also relaxed a little bit over time, because I think in the moment we can, you know, the way things are aligned, we can really mean it. I mean, you can do everything we, within reason to make that work.
[00:45:41] And there may be times when it’s just not a, like, it may be harming one or both parties. It could be just no longer serving both parties. A contract is null and void. If one party doesn’t contribute to it. So if I make a commitment with universe that I’m going to do this thing and it doesn’t feel aligned to me anymore.
[00:46:00] What if I just like, huh? Okay. What if instead I can look at updating that might be once a month, I’m going to try to do something that. Culturally, you know, cool for me, wherever it is, maybe I can take away the location restriction I put on it when I first made it and still create something that’s important to me.
[00:46:21] Like I like doing cultural things. I like going out with my friends COVID is hopefully dying down so I can do that. Even though I still have some attachments here, even though I have some still have some attachments here, some of them are old and outdated. Some of them are old and outdated. Some are even stale.
[00:46:42] Sometimes they’re really stale. There might even be a moldy one or to name all the winter, do crusty one or two trustee.
[00:46:59] I want to let go of any old attachments that are out dated and stay home. I want to let go of any old attachments that are outdated or. Okay. These outdated regrets is outdated regrets, eyebrow. These outdated commitment is outdated commitments. So the guy, even this outdated connection to this thing, even this outdated connection to this thing, not all my connections are outdated.
[00:47:29] Now. All my connections are outdated. Third things I’m really connected to. There are things I’m really connected to Jim, and there are some things that are old and there are some things that are old on meaning they’re not fresh and alive for me anymore. Maybe they’re not alive and fresh for me anymore.
[00:47:50] I’m in the process of feeling into this. I’m in the process of feeling into this. I do not need to keep them if they’re stale and outdated, I do not need to keep them if they’re stale and outdated, it’s okay to transform them into some important in some way. It’s okay to trans trans transform them. So important way.
[00:48:15] I think, you know,
[00:48:24] I think it’s important to be able to quit things that are not good for us. That’s when Rick was talking about this destroyer, that was an archetype. Uh, um, we took a class on psycho demographics on how to attract people that were good fits for us. And, um, we had very, very similar. She, in fact, the lady that was running the class asks us if we cheated off each other, we’re like, no, we’re in different states oriented the death.
[00:48:47] Um, but Rick’s destroyer is much slower than mine. I will pull the plug sooner in most cases than record. I’m still not super, like I don’t give up on people easily. And there’s times when I think it’s really okay. Quitting things can be very healthy at times. And I, you know, other people are sharing that they were, you know, they were called a quitter early on.
[00:49:11] That might be a really beautiful thing to tap on. Um, you know, sometimes we’ll spend our whole life trying to prove that one person wrong from back back when we were. 18 or three or seven or whatever it is, and then we’re not running our life, according to what we want, we’re running it as according to, I want to prove this person wrong.
[00:49:33] Um, and certainly they’ve done that. And when I’ve tapped on it, sometimes I’ll imagine the other person in a chair across from me and I’ll just tap while I talk to that person and say, you know, even though I want to prove that I’m not a quitter, you know, I just, and I can just ramble, just tapping on it and tell that person how angry I am or how, like, how dare you say that to me or whatever, it can really clear it there.
[00:49:56] Um, and I, the regrets when we didn’t quit soon enough sometimes can be the other side of that. It can be really tough to let go of, and I think that we do the best we can in the moment. Maybe we didn’t quit for whatever reason, but we, that was, we can be free. Now we can do things to get free now, so we can live our life really powerfully.
[00:50:18] We’re going to take a seven minute break. Um, as we go into that, one of the, one of the, one of you, thank you. So I recognize that I’m not the same person that I was when I, in this case it was taking a particular course. Um, we’re going to go into after the break, what are you making space for? And part of that can be, if we let go of something like, and like, if I
[00:50:59] let me get clear,
[00:51:11] There can be something that’s part of our identity. Like I’m the kind of person, if they spent a lot of time doing something that I didn’t want to do, or I didn’t say no to something that was really a no for me, I’m the type of person that regrets that for the rest of my life or I’m the type of person that will always be hard on myself about that.
[00:51:39] So I never do it a gap that is like an orientation. How do, how do, how am I. With this thing that happened, um, part of moving into a new energy space is having some clarity about like, yeah, that’s the way I was oriented. And now I’m choosing, I’m focusing my energy on being the type of person who learns from the things that were not a yes for me, as painful as they were.
[00:52:14] Um, I am the type of person that puts my energy toward what I want. I’m the type of person that drives looking forward and not in the rear view mirror. Like there’s a lot of ways of, of doing that. And it’s helpful in tapping and an energy work to have some clarity about like, oh, okay. If this moves on, um, my orientation is going to be this way, this towards the.
[00:52:46] Energy is neither created nor destroyed. And when you move things out, there’s their spaciousness. And maybe what you’re moving into is like, oh, I’m the type of person that really is starting to enjoy spaciousness. I’m enjoying simplicity. Um, that type of thing. We’ll touch on that a little bit more. Um, we’re going to pause the recording and if you’re listening to the recording, we encourage you to take a little break to cure yourself for integration and the like
[00:53:23] welcome back everyone. Ah, I’d like to just add something to what you said about the, um, we negotiating with ourselves. Like we get to change based on reality. Um, some of us have, you can get really stuck in. And I found this analogy worked a lot when I run cuddle parties and talk about people wanting to change their mind.
[00:53:45] If something like, have you gone to a movie or been out with someone who said they would be there, but didn’t want to, um, just kind of tune into that for a moment. It generally wasn’t fun for anybody. Like most of the time you can kind of tell the person’s just honoring a commitment they don’t really want to, to be there.
[00:54:05] Um, it’s really kind of awkward and uncomfortable and nobody’s really living their best life or feeling aligned. I believe the universe is very glad for us to be aligned in the moment and that people that are resourced are glad for us. It aligned. And in the moment, people that are not resourced well, sometimes try to call us out and make us honor, and a commitment that no longer feels valid because they don’t know how else to get that need met.
[00:54:31] Or they’re very, they, when people are scared, they sometimes become rigid. They hold on tight. So I just invite you to like, notice that you don’t generally like it when someone honors their commitment, if they don’t want to do it. Um, and that, there’s certainly like if you’re in the middle of dinner, you don’t want someone to stand up and leave.
[00:54:50] There’s like, that would be awkward, but you also want people to honor, there can be balances and there’s things we like, or don’t like, but being aligned with that can we mean in our own alignment is really important. So I just, I wanted to add that because sometimes people changing their mind have trouble with that.
[00:55:11] So we’re going to talk about open. Yeah. We’re, we’re going to talk about what we’re making room for. If we’re letting go, what are we making room for? Um, love to hear from you. Like if, if you’ve let go, even of the strain and stress that you’re feeling about it, if you let go of, um, needing to do something about it,
[00:55:45] um, there was a, there’s a, a lamp on our kitchen counter, and part of my wanting to clear the clutter was to get it out of there. But my partner does not have time to answer the question that I have about it. I don’t know where it’s not mine. It was perhaps given to us, perhaps loan to us, whatever it’s just on the priority scale.
[00:56:16] And so, as I looked at it, I’m looking at this thing and I’m tapping and I’m like, I don’t know what to do with this. I feel so strained. If I get rid of it, I do this blah, blah, blah. And then it was like, you know, if I let go of even having to do anything with this problem, but it leaves room for me to tend to things that are actually ripe, that I actually have the energy for, that I actually can craft and make a difference in.
[00:56:52] Ah, can you feel the light? It’s palpable to me. I focus on that lamp because like, I want to do it, you know, so there’s. Being aware that you want to leave more room. Like, I, I want to leave more room for relationships which have a mutual, um, neutral desire right now. One that is like, and I don’t want to lose being resilient, but I’m probably not going to, um, I’d like some relationships that are easy, you know, I’d like, I’d like a friendship in town, which is easy where we seem to sync up where it’s easy to schedule that there’s not like a lot to process that we can share what’s alive in our lives.
[00:57:45] T oh yeah. C share B, B and not go for a walk together. Ah, what would you like. To make room for someone shared. I know this is why PR was way too big, but I would like to downsize. And so I could live in a tiny house if I could. And I don’t think that’s too big. That can be like, that can be built out of baby steps.
[00:58:11] So like, if I keep this, so one way I would imagine, I can imagine doing this is like I pick up the item and I say, do I, do I want to make room in the tiny house? Would this add joy and wellbeing to me in my tiny house? No. Okay. Then maybe I can let find what would I like, what is the right intention for this?
[00:58:34] And I asked the items, sometimes it may sound a little bit strange, but I’m like, where would you like to go? And things that have a lot of animation things that have been given a lot of love and focus, I often find a really clear answer and somebody like a picture of someone’s face and I’m like, oh, I can give this to my sister.
[00:58:51] Or my neighbor was saying the other day or whatever, or maybe it wants to go to the women’s shelter or maybe it’s just tired and wants to go rest someplace like recycled or whatever. So I just, you know, just fighting baby steps towards the thing you want to create and asking yourself if my vision of my life does this fit is powerful.
[00:59:15] So remember too, that you can make an, uh, an emotional journey with a little bit of skill. So for example, um, I would like the freedom to be able to go live in another country. I don’t know when, or if that will ripen or whether it will be right for my family or even which country, but here’s some of the things that I, I do.
[00:59:36] Like, I look at it like, oh, you know, what are some options for me if I did that? Well, if I’m never planning on coming back, we’ve my family has practiced letting go of things for money or free through Facebook marketplace, through Maccari, through, um, Goodwill and other types of, of places. So like we’re practiced every once in a while about every quarter we’ll go and we’ll do three or four things.
[01:00:07] It isn’t directly related to that. But if I was moving closer, like, you know, I really want to consider our lease is going to be up in about a year. I’d like to really consider that I go through and say, well, these are the things that, um, are precious. You know, this is my. Two boxes of things that, you know, these are my precious and, um, yeah, they’re not going anywhere.
[01:00:30] These are things that I might loan now or find a new home with somebody that. You know, I might put it out there to my friends list. Is anyone really looking for this? And I’d love to have you keep it or loan or give it to you. Um, and then practicing some other things. This is kind of letting go of, like, we can get stuck with I’m stuck.
[01:00:56] That can be the old thing, like, oh, I’m, I’ve just got too many things too. Like live this dream. If you let go of that notion, it can free up energy to say, Hey, yeah, these are the things that are my precious. Um, and these are things that would move on somewhere. And here are some directions that I can practice letting go of some things, just so that it’s fresh.
[01:01:24] It’s alive in me that I can do it. It’s not a burden. It makes it easy. Yeah. And so we’re coming focus. If you envision that home what’s VR. And I do think getting rid of clutter, definitely people often come to my house and say, it feels quiet and warm and easy to be in. And I think that’s because I routinely go through and get things a dumped, belong out, give them to people or give them.
[01:01:52] Um, so if you would envision that place, that, that space that feels very calm and relaxed and focused, you can just say, does, does this item fit in there? Huh? Not as it is. How would I want to change it? Or does it not fit at all? Where would it like to go elsewise that can, I think having that clear picture of what you want to create makes it a lot easier to know if those items.
[01:02:17] Then or not. And when we don’t have that clear clarity, we’re just trying to, we just know we should do something, but we don’t know where we’re going. It’s very hard to make decisions that work for us. And then there’s that fear. What if I’m getting rid of something I need? Yeah. I’ve got some fears about letting go of things, even though I have some fears about letting go of things, I’m wanting more, but one team, one focus, clarity, focus, E’s quieter quietness space.
[01:03:00] I bet I could make some small changes. I bet I can make some small changes that would start giving me that emotional experience that would start giving me that emotional experience. But it’s all too big. It’s all too big eyebrow. Is it really, is it really slimy? I definitely can look at it that way. I can, I definitely can look at it that way, but I could straighten a shelf.
[01:03:28] I could straighten a shelf or a corner or a corner
[01:03:37] tune to what I’m wanting more of 10 to one. I’m wanting more of. Meditate with some music that reminds me about meditate with some music that reminds me of that, um, move, walk, stretch in a way that activates that in knee in a way that activates that in me, that might make it a lot easier. That might make it a lot easier.
[01:04:03] Yeah. I’m becoming the type of person that becoming the type of person who creates this every day, whatever it is that you want.
[01:04:19] So in tapping or energy work, And notice that I put the affirmation after we touched on a lot of different things, right. The, I won’t, I can’t, um, what I might lose, we touched on those things. Now you could do all of that around an object in a few minutes. So like here’s some headphones. I haven’t had these in my ear for four months, at least.
[01:04:47] Okay. They’re the ones that I bought. Um, I’ve done. I spent $8 to replace one of the little ear thing, things that Silicon things. Um, and I still have not done anything with them because. Another pair, but I like a lot better. And they’re the ones that, you know, I could tap on, whoa, this is the thing I can’t let go of it because I made that extra $8 investment.
[01:05:17] I’d feel so stupid if I just gave it away. But where would it go? Uh, notice I’m just letting the flow and you know, I’m really like some more space on my desk and it doesn’t belong in my, in my, in my shelf. It doesn’t belong in my drawer. It doesn’t belong actually in my life. I bet somebody might like this.
[01:05:44] They work, I’m open to finding the right place for it.
[01:05:55] That we don’t have to spend 90 minutes on the little things I already like. You’ll notice I, you can’t see it, but it’s been sitting in this one spot. I now by moving it have more space. Okay. I’m also noticing some other things that are about ready to go through the similar process. It’s now on the other side of my desk and it’s heading out.
[01:06:25] That’s what it took though. It’s been sitting there and gnawing at me every time I look at it a little bit, not conscious, not a big deal. If you asked me to say, is that bothering you? I got no, but it is 'cause it’s, it’s it’s clutter. It’s not something I want anymore. It’s an old thing I spent money on and that’s, this is how you do it.
[01:06:49] Um, can do it. It doesn’t work for everyone, but wow. When you’re honest about the I, what it is the, I want, I can’t, I just can’t, I won’t. And you do a few rounds on it. You’ll notice that your energy is moving around it. And it could be like, you know, I am in a place right now where this matters to me habit to have it in my world.
[01:07:14] It matters. And so I’m going to find a place for it in my world. If you do that and you keep it. What you did is you let go of all of the clutter energy about it, and you landed on the sacred energy of it matters to me, that part of me feels like, you know, my intuition is I might actually need this. It’s not sitting here in my primitive brain.
[01:07:41] Like, oh, I need to hoard and clutter and hold on to everything. Yeah, no, but it actually feels like, you know, I am, I may need that bowl. You know, I really may need those bowls. It doesn’t feel like it’s ripe in time. You can do, you can do it that way. Yeah. And someone was sharing about their journals and the journals would not fit in a tiny house, but there might be love or things that are important in that.
[01:08:09] So if, if it feels like, oh, it’s not ready to go completely. Like, do I want to scan these in? Do I want to pull certain pages out? Do I want to keep one year that meant the most and a few other pages and scan everything else? How do I, how could I hold this so that if it feels yes, and it may not fit in your tiny house, but it might fit digitally or it might, one journal might feel like a really sweet memory and there’s no right or wrong about that.
[01:08:36] And someone said that they have trouble letting go of things because they feel lonely. Um, and what I’d like to point out is we often put our emotions in things like we have experience. And we associate that there, what emotions we put in there, we can also invite back out. So when I was getting rid of some things, when I was moving.
[01:08:57] I just, I would just like, I would think I would like, thank you so much for holding that love and that experience for me, I’m going to, I would like to reclaim it to myself now, when I, some of them that felt ready, like the item felt like it was ready to move on and be used for something else in a different way.
[01:09:15] So I invited the love. And when I left my house, I went around my house and I thanked every wall that like, I just kind of touched the walls. And I said, thank you so much for being part of my life. And I invited the love and the safety and the care that I had experienced to. It could still be present with the house.
[01:09:32] When I was inviting my identity back in myself, we have mirror neurons, which allow us to identify. Uh, outside objects as part of us. So when we, our car gets deemed a car that we’ve driven a lot, people would get very, very upset because it feels like a physical assault I can drive. Like when I drive my car, I can steer it within an inch of something, because I know exactly where the edges are.
[01:09:56] I’ve had it for many years when, so if we want to let something go, it’s important to, I think, often to think it and to be with it and to invite our sense of identity to come back to us, our love sense of connection to come back to it. And then it might be easier to have more connection. Um, and I D I do love someone shared that they put things out on the curb and it just disappeared and they didn’t even remember it.
[01:10:26] Some things are like that. I had an organizer come in and she was great. I would, I was like, as a box fills up with things for the women’s shelter, I would like you to take it out of the house right away. As trash gets filled up, I would like you to take it out. I don’t want it to sit by the door because I will then feel pulled by it.
[01:10:45] But the things that I’d already decided, she whisked away and it got to be used for something else in a really nice way. And I didn’t have to be the whisker. Um, and so you might, you know, trade with a friend, say, I need to do planning. Would you like to trade? You know, your job will be to, as the box gets filled to put it in your car and take it to Goodwill, and I’ll do the same for you.
[01:11:07] Um, if that just some ideas on how to let go of something.
[01:11:14] Uh,
[01:11:19] so let’s tune back into
[01:11:26] the old thing that I, I thought I wanted and where you are in the letting go process, what clarity you have, what emotions and things that you still feel, how true does the, I can’t let it go of this because still feel
[01:11:49] and you rock this year in the chart,
[01:11:54] and if you’re aware of why you don’t want to let it go, then,
[01:11:59] um, you’re welcome to share that to you.
[01:12:05] Even though I am getting clarity here, even though I am getting clarity here, it still surprises me sometimes. How much has it involved? It still surprises me sometimes. How much is involved? I have a lot of feels about my things. I have a lot of fields and what we things and I accept where I am and how I feel and accept where I am and how I feel.
[01:12:31] I have feelings about these things, feelings about this things. Eyebrow. And I’d like real skill. And I like real skill. I would want the skill of getting clarity. I want the skill of getting clarity on the be. I want the skill of letting go. I want the skill of letting go in a way that feels authentic for me in a way that feels authentic.
[01:12:55] To me, it feels healing. It feels healing. It feels respectful, respectful, and feels free. It feels free. I am quieting the noise. I am hiding the noise. I am feeling what I feel. I am feeling what I feel. I appreciate my current. I appreciate my courage. Oh, that was beautiful. Someone wrote that. They’ve just realized they’re grieving.
[01:13:29] Um, not because of the house I’m letting go of, but 20 years of happy life, my love story, the love of my life, the past the grief, as long as we’re projecting that out on that other object, a thing, the house, the journal, the whatever it is, it’s really hard for us to actually have, can feel like. Process it it’s out there away from us and we don’t have the same power and control.
[01:13:53] So if we do have a lot of grief or loneliness or regret working through those things as important, um, but noticing that they’re not the object itself or the, the experience or the dream there they’re emotions that we have that we actually feel, and then we can clear them. Um, and I do invite you if you’re, if you want to take this deeper, um, Rick’s and Carol’s clearing cutter with EFT, it’s a thriving now.com forward slash clutter is really beautiful because it takes you through all the, like a lot of the different emotions and a lot of the different processes you go through.
[01:14:28] And it really did help me tremendously to have a much less cluttered house and just a lot more quiet, ease focus. Um, and we want you to be able to let go of the stale things. We want you to be able to be aligned with yourself, not just trying to. Show that you’re not a quitter or stick it out, even though it’s not aligned for you or have all the noise and things that are pulling at you with no room for new possibilities.
[01:14:55] I do think that’s one reason. Some people feel like they grow old, not because we’re actually old, but because we get so clogged up, we’re not having new experiences. So we kind of slowed down and we’re not getting reinspired by life. And what’d you do a tapping with us on getting clogged up. Cause I, that happens to me on cycles.
[01:15:16] I think that’s why we talk about spring cleaning and things like that. But there’s a, there’s a clogging up that happens with my business and ideas and things. I feel like I have no, I have to, when it starts falling into the half, two category, um, is usually a sign that I’m clogged up. So some tapping with yeah, granny job, all these old opties and should have.
[01:15:42] All these old ought tos and should house all these have to use these old patterns, all these old patterns. I haven’t had time or focus to see if they fit me anymore. I haven’t had time and focus to see if they really fit me anymore. And I haven’t really wanted to face all the emotions that are buried there.
[01:16:09] And I haven’t really wanted to face all the emotions that are buried. There are some times, and it gets re it’s gotten really stale in clogged. On top of that, I want more freedom. I want more freedom and brow. I invite the universe to help me with.
[01:16:30] Side of the, I don’t have to process everything. That’s clogged in the pipes. I do not have to process everything. That’s clogged on the Piney under the eye, but I do have to look at the ones that are stopping everything up. I have to look up the ones that are stopping everything under the nose universe.
[01:16:47] Please guide me, ah, universe, please guide me, Jim. I want clarity and clear focus. I’m to want clarity and clear focus. I don’t want to be clogged up. I don’t want to be clogged up. I’m going to have, I want to experience life as it is right now. I want to experience life as it is right now. Top of it. I want to be aligned with me now.
[01:17:15] Not me in the past. Yeah. I want it to be aligned with me now. Not me in the distant past, please help me identify and release the things that are clocking him up. Please help me identify unreleased things that are clocking me up. Let’s take a breath and see what you notice. And you may want to just keep, if you have something coming to you, now, jot it down.
[01:17:44] Our brains are tricky. They like to like distract us. And then we don’t remember what it was. Or I have a pen and paper by your bed tonight. Like if, as you go to sleep, you might order just your waking up or as your dream, you might have some more clarity on why and why and how you’re clogging the system up.
[01:18:02] And I do think so much of this is about, we think how we think we should be the way we were when we made the commitment or we made the decision about the thing or the event or the experience. And we’re not being present with ourselves. Now. I am a very, very different person than I was 10 years. And what was perfect for me then.
[01:18:23] And I thought, yeah, last year. Yeah, this morning, um, w I really do think we make decisions based on the information we have in the moment, the way we feel in the moment. And it feels really good in that it may feel aligned in that space and things change, and we’re not reexamining them and saying, like, when I bought that winter coat back in February, it felt perfect.
[01:18:48] And goddammit, I’m going to wear this, that, that winter coat in, in July, in Albuquerque, like, cause it fit me back then I’ve got to fit it now. And it’s like, no, this is not a good idea. I’m dying of heat exhaustion. So just if that helps a silly analogy, sometimes will help our brain realize that it doesn’t have to fit us anymore.
[01:19:17] Really appreciate the courage everyone brought here. This is not an easy subject. I always,
[01:19:32] I thought I wanted it. I thought I wanted it. I did want it. And now I’ve got more clarity, but now I’ve got more clarity
[01:19:49] and I’m letting go of the old perspective of the old perspective. So I can have a new perspective so I can have a new perspective, not bad. Some things are going to say. Some things that aren’t going to say, some things are going to go, and I want a fresh, in my perspective, and I want a fresh, in my perspective, I can get a little stuck in old perspective.
[01:20:16] I can get a little stuck in all perspective. I am so human. I am so human. I got the feels about my thing, cause it feels about my things. Collarbone there’s emotions in my emotions, on my stuff. And there are emotions in my relationships, my relationships, and I accept who I am and how I feel, how I feel.
[01:20:51] So you notice what I touched on there when we fresh, in our perspective, and I use this tool in this process to fresh, in my perspective, it could have been that I decided I wanted to keep them, but now right now I’m starting to even feel the next owner. I don’t even know their name. I may never know their name, but I’m starting to feel the energy moving on.
[01:21:18] There are things that I fresh in the perspective on and allows me just to allow it to ripen or be there without distress. There are things like fresh perspective on it allows me to actually redirect my energy toward what matters to me now, who I am. Now, and as Kathy so clearly reminded us, we’re not the same person that we were maybe even this morning or before you, you know, 90 minutes ago before we got together, I believe that we shift and change our weather or climate are our core values can be refined and clarified.
[01:21:58] And when we do our perspective on things, change the people in our lives. Um, we can start noticing qualities that they have that maybe we didn’t before we can, we can notice that something is actually more valuable. And more nourishing to us because we’re not, it’s doesn’t fit into clutter anymore fits into something that is a sacred choice for it to stay in my world.
[01:22:24] And I can flow more energy into it’s enjoyment and other things can take their place, um, in our home. In someone else’s new home, the energy being returned to the universe and where your cycle up cycle, things like that. We’re at thriving now support a thriving. now.com is the email that goes to both Kathy and I, you can continue this discussion and we certainly invite you to write thriving now about center.
[01:22:53] And if you’d like to become a circle member, there’s a new one-time membership starts at a gliding scale. Um, and they’re even partial and full scholarships available thriving now.com/circle. The learn more about that. And, uh, we’ll have our upcoming real skills workshops. We do two a month. And if you have ideas and things of what would be really alive for you for us to cover, please email them support a thriving now.com.
[01:23:22] Bless you do. Thank you, Kathy. And thank you all in the circle tonight.
[01:23:28] Can you find lots of ease and clarity and, and calm, peaceful spaces by the next time.

We covered…

  • Identifying the person, place, thing, idea, or thought you are considering letting go of…
  • Asking “I can’t let go of this because____” and “I won’t let go of this because ___” to get guidance on the resistance and blocks
  • Using EFT Tapping to quiet the noise, calm the feears, feel the feels, and boost the confidence
  • Knowing what you DO want to keep even as you might let go of the physical item, relationship, or stale dream
  • What are you consciously making room for? Give your energy a direction to flow. Simplicity? Ease? Lightness? Possibility? Engagement? More…

Resources Mentioned

  1. Free EFT Tapping Guide

  2. Thriving Now Emotional Freedom Circle

  3. Clearing Clutter from the Inside Out

That you for being on this journey with us!



It’s interesting that if I take even one small shelf and eliminate things that don’t speak to my core as what I value now… there’s a sense of “treasure” that changes.

And it’s admittedly hard for me at times when what I treasure is different, and we’re sharing a cabinet or counter or other space. I actually cannot necessarily tune it all to my treasures (even even honestly what they treasure rather than just “have” and “want to keep.”)

Makes the areas where I can do this precious.

Stewarding those spaces feels valuable.

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