oh, and listening to the poor poor pitiful me as i type. not sure ive heard it before now! it wasnt what i expected. i enjoyed it 
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Revisiting this that you posted.
Feeling like my body is managing a virus today.
Challenging afternoon at work.
Hard thing: Judging myself
Good thing: I can come here and go to Gus…hopefully he can help me feeling so sad about my…? dont have a word that fits here. Maybe its just my ‘gap’ like Rick coined. I would like to know I can learn and build to reduce that gap, be able to respond differently or…i do not know.
i hope i get the opportunity to repair with this person if they return next time. i hope to build my confidence around repairing and being true and ok if repair isnt possible or received. im making this sound bad. it wasnt really and it also was. i just wish it had gone differently. that i had chosen a different path because i care about this person and possibly they need more care and hearing that i even realised.
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I like those compassion words by Kristen Neff. Had forgotten I posted them. Hope your body was able to fight off that virus. I’ve also been struggling abit with that feeling of maybe coming down with a cold, but thank the Goddess it did not materialize. I really don’t want to start wearing the damn mask at work, but maybe should since this is the time of year for rising autumn viral activity. I wish I could just float around in a little bubble like this woman…
I also have been judging myself, but had a good session with GUS and things feel somewhat more open and less stuck now. Have been blending the IFS parts work with the tapping and visualization / imagination, and ended up at the “Delicious Self-Love Retreat” working with difficult parts - Self Hate Seraphina and Family of Origin Fuck-You Frieda. Except that now they have this chance to put on costumes and role play what it might be like to pretend they are “Deliciously Self-Loving Seraphina” and “Fiercely on her own side Frieda”. Interesting exploration and it’s been helping me, even though I feel like I have along ways to go. It was amusing to me that when they put on costumes - Seraphina wanted to be sort of punk rock with spikey hair, piercings and tattoo’s and Frieda dressed up in burlesque / viking style 
and they went off to a rave together! (good thing the spirit buddies were with them to keep them out of trouble)…
Fiercely on her own side Frieda:
Deliciously Self-Loving Seraphina:
Anyways, it seems like these parts are supporting each other rather than fighting with each other and just pretending to be at a “Delicious Self-Love Retreat” and asking the spirit buddies for help each day on how I might bring more self-kindness into my daily life is a gentle uplift.
I hope you get a chance to repair with the person you wish things had gone differently with. I have some steps I need to take in this regard too, and keep putting it off.
Here is another meme by Kristin Neff that I like as well:
Wishing you more ease and lightness at work. And gentle comfort for sadness.
Hugs: Jewel
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Some slightly amusing things:
I got these sparkly vines at Dollarama and they are bringing me gentle delight vibes for fall decorating:
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I really like Frieda and Seraphina. Frieda in particular
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Thanks.
I hope you’re feeling better. I thought I was fighting off the cold virus, but not so sure now.
Sending you that blessing (that I’ve also been sending to myself / inner parts)
I send you love & tenderness
I send you peace & grace
I send you playful joy & delight
I send you wonder, wildness & wishes come true
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i love these twig and toad things. as soon as i see you post anything with these colours i am instantly intrigued. i find them so genuinely uplifting.
no, still fighting the virus and lack of sleep is not helping. nor is smoke in the air and pollen and weird weather changes.
blessings back
I send you love & tenderness
I send you peace & grace
I send you playful joy & delight
I send you wonder, wildness & wishes come true
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A song that resonates with moving energy for me, always brings a smile and some moves and inner sweet feels.
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And then more of us.
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Thank you. Love both of these. 
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My soundtrack for this mornings work start…feeling our road trip vibes Jewel. Fires under shelter with rainy skies and beautiful vistas. Birds and trees and deep and meaningful chats and laughter !
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So. In a new place these days. An unexpected and kind of good space but wow the amount it brings up is huge and is it even real? And what happens when it stops? Does that mean all the good feelings go?
So. Good things - Random happy feelings and laughter and connection. Music. Healing. Love and Growth. More choosing me.
Hard things - Not knowing if it is real and the connection is real, and if it is me and i can keep these feelings or if they will just disappear if the connection disappears or changes. Healing. Love and Growth. Knowing and holding my own edges and boundaries. Getting good sleep when my nervous system is wired. Worry. Worry about forgetting and getting things wrong in a way that has consequences I dont want or feel like would smash me or drown me.
Slightly amusing - misheard song lyrics… like Starship misheard for singing that they “built this city on sausage rolls” instead of “rock and roll”… and the song For the love of the common people… the lyric is “a dream to cling to”…i used to think up until very recently that is said “a dreamland pencil”… and i had a full imaginary dreamland pencil too when i was a kid.
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So happy to hear about this unexpected new place - with more happy feelings, laughter and connection. That is so cool. Healing, Love & Growth sounds wonderful. And I can also understand the fears about wondering if it will last. I am pretty sure if I ever finally manage to heal from chronic fatigue after all these years - it will be so different from my “usual experience” that I’ll be kind of mind blown and need to tap on getting used to things being so good. (I hope I get to do that tapping - maybe I should try it now just as a “future self” exercise).
I sure hope it lasts for you and gets even better. You deserve it.
And I love this slightly amusing thing of misheard song lyrics. A coworker sent me a funny video on that theme - I’ll see if I can find it. I always hate it when I can’t figure out what the singer is saying and will sometimes go look up the lyrics on google just to find out.
Rock Drive with Jay & Duncan - Misheard Song Lyrics:
(https://youtu.be/GffErPt-DS4?si=A-trsC_IM8bfdp7V)
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Yes, do that future self tapping my friend. You deserve it too.
Gus has been helping me a lot with navigating all the complexities you’ve described and staying with myself.
One thing I’ve been consciously reminding myself of lately and ‘feeling’ into myself is that ‘I am loved’. In a real way. It’s been helpful.
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Hi Tala,
Thanks for your encouragement and uplifting words about feeling loved.
I was having a grumpy, tired morning yesterday and tapped with Gus abit, and then got the idea to try on a “cloak of self-love” (or rather in my IFS parts work, I let Self-Hate Seraphina try it on) just as an experiment to see how the day might unfold differently while wearing this cloak - and it worked out that I had a better day at work and didn’t push myself so hard, and was just in a better mood and able to joke around more spontaneously. So I’m going to keep up this practice and see what other interesting experience might unfold.
Good things: I signed up for this class called “The Art of Enchantment” and have been really enjoying it. We’ve been having some lovely autumn weather - sunny days and mild temperatures and starting to get really colorful leaves which I love this time of year.
Hard things: Oddly tonite I find myself not wanting to talk about the hard things - I could simply say “the usual”, but I get weary of my same old usual patterns & struggles, so I think I’ll just dance lightly with this category right now.
Slightly amusing things:
- Mom & I went to see the movie “Practical Magic 2” at Cineplex and it was somewhat amusing and entertaining (also abit annoying at times).
- When I dropped a large piece of crinkled up packing paper on the floor and a coworker and I started playing foot hockey with it for awhile to blow off some stress and be silly.
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Love your self love cloak.
I’m feeling mega grumpy and sick and sore and tired today. I’ve done some tapping witty Gus but it has in fact made me grumpier. Which I think is a good thing because I hadn’t been seeing or allowing my grumpy feelings and I’m seeing they are valid.
I love your amusing things. I plan to see practical magic too. Would have enjoyed to see it with you!
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Thinking of you and will try to write back more soon. Work has been busy and I am weary, but looking forward to having this weekend off.
Got some sad news and my heart is kind of achy.
Hope you’re feeling better and get to enjoy the practical magic movie soon.
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I’m sorry Jewel. Sending tender hugs.
Take care of You x
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I’ve been very sad to hear of Jean’s passing and will miss her deeply. I would like to share my stories abit - to help with the grief and remember her. Jean and I met through Rick and Thriving Now - when I used to be on the calls alot years ago. And she offered me support personally - we used to tap and talk on the phone frequently. She was very generous in her giving and tapping with me regularly. We had many calls with both laughter and tears. She could be funny and kind of irreverent and blunt at times, and I appreciated that about her. Also very tender hearted and kind. After awhile our phone calls kind of faded out and we still chatted on Facebook alot and kept in touch there. More recently we hadn’t been chatting as often and she wrote and asked if things were okay between us and we both said yes, and were sorry for the challenges of life and health that made it harder to write as often. She told me not to feel guilty. I was really hoping we would get a chance to talk again before she passed. I see things that I think Jean might like and want to send them to her - interesting cloud formations, and moody fog, etc.
I’m still going to be chatting with her in spirit but I’ll miss our Facebook chats an awful lot. I think I’ll probably write more of my memories in the weeks to come if that’s okay. It helps me to process my grief and not keep it all inside.
Thank you, Jean, for being such a good friend.
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