Wisdom from Our Circle

Thriving Together
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I am consciously putting energy into collecting the wisdom that flows forth from my engagements with my Circle. My deep sense is that these points are part of Wisdom for Thriving, and the more we amplify these and explore them Together, the stronger the emotional and energetic field around Thriving becomes… Now and Onwards.

We begin with these below. Always feel free to explore, comment, add-to, or refine any of them! They are definitely never put forward as “absolute truth” (haha), yet… Wisdom is meant to be shared. Wisdom is meant to be passed from one human heart-mind to another.

Emotional Freedom

  • I really don’t see my next step, but I do see that battle energy never serves me, and going in circles and repeating myself is a waste of time.
  • It’s savvy to politely lie when dealing with someone who is not on your side, especially if it helps you navigate a dysfunctional system.
  • When we’re coping with someone who is not on our side, it’s okay to prioritize your own well-being and disengage from the power struggle.
  • They call them patients because they expect you to be patient with them, but they don’t have to be patient with you.
  • I don’t need to inherit worry; the world doesn’t need more worry, but it could use more of me.
  • Worry is like running in place; it keeps you busy but doesn’t take you anywhere.
  • Shifting out of worry is a big part of thriving and gives you more access to your wisdom.

Self-Empowerment

  • I’ve been working on how to be my own CEO—of my body, my life—in a way where I’m not jumping through hoops for others.
  • The way I’m navigating the system was never set up for someone like me, and that’s okay because I’m a trailblazer.
  • I trust myself because I’ve figured things out through knowledge and learning where to put my feet and where not to.
  • This is my precious energy, and I want to use it my way.
  • I want to exercise my energy differently, focusing on what feels better for me and those I care about.
  • I’m bored of letting worry run my life; I need something juicier for me.

Navigating Relationships

  • When someone’s energy feels heavy or toxic, it’s okay to redirect the conversation or disengage to protect your own well-being.
  • I can assert my right to tune the energy of a conversation to something that works for me.
  • Focusing on the positive aspects of someone can shift the energy of the relationship and help me connect in a healthier way.
  • It’s okay to set boundaries with people who bring negativity or gossip into my life.
  • I can choose to appreciate and acknowledge the good in someone rather than defaulting to worry or frustration.

Grief and Connection

  • It’s okay to pre-grieve the loss of someone dear to you; their death doesn’t change how much they mean to you.
  • Talking about grief and letting it out can feel good and help you process the sadness.
  • Even when life takes different turns and physical distance grows, the love and connection with someone dear remain unchanged.

Thriving in a Dysfunctional System

  • The medical system, like many institutions, is broken, and navigating it requires savvy and self-advocacy.
  • Gratitude for lifesaving treatment doesn’t mean the system is functional or respectful; it’s okay to acknowledge its flaws.
  • Being savvy means working to get your needs met in a dysfunctional system while staying true to yourself.
  • When dealing with a broken system, it’s important to trust your intuition and find alternative paths that align with your values.

Appreciation and Perspective

  • Writing down a list of things I appreciate about someone can shift my energy and help me focus on the positive.
  • When I focus on love, appreciation, and acceptance, I create a better energy for myself and those around me.
  • I’d rather love the people I’m connected to, even if they’re going through a hard time, than let worry or negativity dominate my energy.
  • Neutralizing worry and focusing on appreciation opens the door to deeper wisdom and connection.

Letting Go of Default Patterns

  • Worry may be a default way of showing care, but it’s not as useful as other options like love and appreciation.
  • I can break free from inherited patterns, like worry, and choose a new way of being that feels more aligned with who I am.
  • When I let go of worry, I free up energy to focus on what truly matters and what brings me joy.
  • I don’t need to carry the weight of others’ negativity or unresolved issues; I can choose to focus on what uplifts me.

Humor and Playfulness

  • When faced with negativity or gossip, I can use humor or playfulness to shift the energy and lighten the mood.
  • Asking, “How many plants will it cost me for you not to tell me this?” can be a playful way to set boundaries.
  • Turning up the warmth in a cold or windy emotional environment can either invite connection or encourage the other person to move on.

Trusting Intuition

  • I’ll figure it out somehow because I trust myself and my ability to navigate challenges.
  • My intuition is a reliable guide, especially when I’m faced with uncertainty or difficult decisions.
  • When I’m more in my heart and gut than in my head, I can access deeper clarity and wisdom.
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Navigating Complex Relationships

  • My relationship with her has always been complex, and I acknowledge that’s where I am right now.
  • These are not simple waters; this is not some calm lake to paddle across.
  • I know I’m not going to change her, and I’m still holding on to the illusion that I can.
  • Wise people remind us that we can’t change others, but we can change how we navigate our relationship with them.
  • Guilt is not guidance; it’s often a signal to go deeper into what truly matters to us.
  • Arguing with reality isn’t helping me; it’s time to accept and navigate from where I am.
  • I aspire to be someone my children will want to celebrate, but that’s up to me and them.

Emotional Freedom and Self-Acceptance

  • I am not in control of others, but I am in control of how I show up with love and presence.
  • I can’t be something I’m not; accepting myself as I am allows others to grow up knowing love even in imperfection.
  • Being deeply pleased, deeply annoyed, and deeply in love with life models passionate engagement for those around us.
  • Guilt is a childish kind of guidance; true guidance comes from deeper clarity about what matters to me.
  • I am not responsible for someone else’s life; I can only respond with as much presence and care as I can muster.

Letting Go of Control

  • I am not in control of whether he lives or dies, but I am loving, present, and in this together.
  • Sacred decisions rarely feel 100% clear, but they carry a resonance that guides us.
  • Animals and humans often communicate their readiness for transition in ways that go beyond words.
  • Being scared for someone is different from being present with them; I aspire to be present and loving, even in uncertainty.
  • Life and death are not fully in my control, but I can honor the sacredness of the time we have together.

Navigating Family Expectations

  • I can’t meet her expectations, and that’s okay; I need to navigate from my own truth.
  • Writing down what matters to me helps clarify what I want to pass on and what I don’t.
  • Sometimes, the best way to express my truth is not directly to the person but in a way that brings me peace.
  • I can’t change someone’s nature, but I can choose how I engage with them and protect my energy.

Processing Grief and Transition

  • It’s okay to be in the “not yet” when making sacred decisions about life and death.
  • Animals often hold on for meaningful moments, teaching us about the preciousness of time together.
  • Grief and fear are natural, but they don’t have to define how I show up in love and presence.
  • I can honor the connection we share, even in the face of uncertainty and transition.
  • Letting go of control doesn’t mean letting go of love; it means trusting the process and being present.

Inner Child Healing

  • My inner child still longs for love and recognition, but I know that’s not something I can force from others.
  • I can witness and honor my inner child’s needs without letting them drive my decisions.
  • Healing comes from allowing my inner child to be heard and understood, even if not by the person who caused the pain.
  • I am evolving beyond being a victim of my parents; I am cultivating the person I want to be.

Living Authentically

  • I aspire to live a life of passionate engagement, embracing the full range of emotions and experiences.
  • Cleaning up emotional messes is part of life, just like cleaning up physical messes.
  • Allowing myself to be deeply delighted and deeply annoyed is part of living authentically.
  • I want to be someone who creates space for others to celebrate and connect with me joyfully.

Finding Peace in Uncertainty

  • Sacred decisions are a “we” process, involving love, presence, and mutual understanding.
  • Being present with someone in their challenges is more powerful than trying to control the outcome.
  • Life’s unpredictability teaches us to embrace the moment and trust the unfolding process.
  • Even in the face of fear and grief, I can choose to show up with love and presence.
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Building Authentic Connections

  • It can be our free and devoted choice to focus on building a circle of beings who are more than just acquaintances, investing our life force in deeper, closer connections.
  • Recognize that not everyone will align with your desire for deeper connection, and it’s okay to bless them on their way.
  • Authentic relationships require mutual initiation, understanding, and flexibility; these connections are precious and rare.
  • A thriving life for many of us includes a circle of kin at different layers and levels of closeness and depth.
  • Be clear about your needs and boundaries, and honor them by finding Right Distance Right Depth (including letting go at times) those relationships that don’t meet them.

Emotional Freedom and Acceptance

  • We can often feel the “divine timing” of events, even if they happen later than we wished.
  • It’s okay to feel grief over what could have been while also accepting the reality of what is.
  • Acknowledge that expressing your feelings may activate emotional pain for others, but sometimes that is essential for our own healing and freedom.
  • As we tap on blame and resentment, we create space for love and connection.
  • Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up; it means finding peace with what is while continuing to care deeply.

Self-Care and Embodiment

  • Include yourself in the care and love you give to others; tending to yourself honors your relationships.
  • Reconnect with your body by noticing and appreciating its parts—wiggle your toes, touch your liver, and feel your breath.
  • Shift from hyper-vigilance to a state of flow and presence by moving your body gently and intentionally.
  • Emotional processing involves the whole body, not just the mind; allow your organs and energy systems to participate in releasing and healing.
  • Balance caregiving with self-inclusion in the Caring to avoid burnout and maintain your own well-being.

Navigating Grief and Loss

  • Grief is a natural part of love and connection.
  • Life includes challenges and losses, and to heal and thrive we explore ways to be at peace with them.
  • Trying to control outcomes can lead to exhaustion; instead, focus on what we can influence and the love we can feel together.
  • Honor the love and connection we share with others by being present and tending to our own needs.

Courage and Vulnerability

  • It takes courage to express our feelings and seek closure, even when it’s painful.
  • Vulnerability can lead to profound healing and deeper connections with others.
  • Trust that your efforts to build meaningful relationships and care for others are valuable, even in challenging circumstances.
  • Acknowledge your strength and persistence in navigating life’s difficulties with authenticity and heart.

Energy and Balance

  • Balance your energy by including yourself in the flow of care and love you give to others.
  • Recognize that your body and energy systems are designed to process emotions and experiences; allow them to do so.
  • Shift from a mindset of “vigilant sacrifice” to one of shared energy and mutual care.
  • Trust that as you practice connecting with your body and energy flows, it will become more natural over time.
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So many pieces of wisdom here…

I would add:

It’s good to be your own best friend, understand your struggles and listen to your own heart because it keeps you liave.

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These are powerful words @Rick. Really profound especially if we remember them at the time they are needed. Many times, especially when we haven’t practiced and we’re faced with one of these situations unexpectedly, we might not hve the savvy to care for ourselves well. I know through my life I’ve given in rather than taking care of myself. The times I tried to take care of my needs instead of theirs has ended with me suffering, becoming angry and doubled over with stomach pains and a huge loss of chi.

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Thriving Through Emotional Awareness

  • Thriving is not about choosing between healing or suffering forever; it’s about the small, intentional steps we take today to avoid what harms us and move toward what helps us.
  • Healing can begin by simply not doing the things that make our pain worse; this is a powerful form of self-care.
  • A “not do” list is essential for thriving: foods, activities, or relationships that don’t work for us belong on that list.
  • Binary thinking—“I heal or I’m in pain forever”—guarantees suffering. Life is about the in-between, the progress, and the choices we make moment by moment.

Rewriting Our Stories

  • The stories we tell ourselves can either hurt us or heal us. We have the power to rewrite them.
  • “I’m tired of these old, shitty stories” is the first step to creating a new narrative that reflects our courage and resilience.
  • Our lives are hero’s journeys, and we can choose to write them differently before we’re gone.
  • The same old song in our heads doesn’t define us; it’s just a stuck tune. We can change it and create a new melody for our lives.

The Power of Awareness

  • Self-sabotage isn’t about being broken; it’s about being stuck in patterns that no longer serve us. Awareness is the first step to freedom.
  • Recognizing the ways we punish ourselves—whether through actions or stories—allows us to stop and choose differently.
  • Seeing manipulation and gaslighting for what they are is a huge step toward reclaiming our power.
  • “I’m seeing it more clearly now, and that’s useful for me.” Clarity is a gift we give ourselves.

Emotional Regulation and Resilience

  • Staying regulated when others are not is a skill that strengthens our emotional freedom.
  • Anger can be healthy and loving when it’s used as a source of clarity and strength.
  • Emotional freedom is about re-regulating ourselves after being thrown off by external chaos.
  • Boundaries are not just about saying no; they’re about honoring what matters to us and protecting our energy.

Living with Grace and Power

  • Grace and power are not opposites; they can flow together. “I love how much grace I can bring to my power and power to my grace.”
  • Fun fire—passion and curiosity—can fuel us, even in the face of challenges. “I have some fun fire in me.”
  • Happiness isn’t about everything being perfect; it’s about finding love, connection, and joy in the small moments.
  • “I’m not just a head delivery system. I have powerful energy, and I’m learning how to use it.”

The Hero’s Journey

  • “Mine has been a hero’s journey, or else I would have been dead.” Every life is a hero’s journey, filled with challenges and transformation.
  • Pain and difficulty are part of the hero’s journey, but they don’t define it. “It hurts, but I’m thriving anyway.”
  • Writing our hero’s story now, rather than waiting, allows us to live with intention and purpose. “I want to write my story differently before I’m dead.”
  • The journey is not about perfection but about progress, courage, and the willingness to keep going.

Navigating Fear and Uncertainty

  • Fear is a signal that we’re activated, not a sign of failure. “Of course I’m activated—I’m not an idiot.”
  • Facing fear with awareness and grace allows us to move through it without being consumed by it.
  • “I’m not afraid of the C-word journey. I’ve already been on a hero’s journey, and I’m still here.”
  • Challenges, like health scares or difficult relationships, can ignite a “fun fire” in us to learn, grow, and live more fully.

Connection and Support

  • Holding space for ourselves and others during difficult times is a profound act of love. “We can hold space for each other.”
  • Sharing our experiences, even the messy ones, helps us see that we’re not alone. “Thank you for holding space for me.”
  • Emotional freedom is a shared journey. “Aren’t we all rewriting our stories together?”
  • The energy we bring to our relationships and actions can create ripples of healing and connection. “I’m learning to regulate myself, and it’s making a difference.”