What's most painful thing you've been told?


I figured, why not I share mine too. Mine would probably be when I was actually feeling suicidal over my parent’s decision to divorce each other. And then I told my mum that I just can’t cope with all these mess that they’re in. And then she starts scolding me and telling me why I can’t be as strong as she is in coping with all the these issues.


I appreciate you sharing your painful moment Jun Rong…that’s not an easy situation to be in.

I don’t know about ‘the most’ painful for me…if I thought about it I’d have a very long list…lol.

I often lament that my memory is very poor…I just don’t remember a lot of events in my life and in some regards that makes me very sad. In particular there are lots of things my children will bring up and I just don’t remember them.
However, years ago I realized that there is an upside to a poor memory. For one thing it’s hard for me to hold grudges toward people. You need to have a good memory to hold onto all those times you’ve felt hurt or slighted by people. The same applies to other negative events…I very often just don’t remember them unless I’m reminded by someone…lol.


Hmmm…I think I was about 16 when I was told by a guy that I really liked that I would make a great mother but not a girlfriend. I guess that was my first back-handed compliment too?!?!


You’ve never understood me.

Try for years to understand someone, and then on their exit they assert you don’t understand, and never have.

I guess true and painful.

Not sure MOST painful. Like Glenn I am grateful to have a “selective” memory.

Being with you is just TOO GOOD. I cannot bear to go back to rest of my life after spending time with you. I can’t see you anymore.

Back-handed compliment, and heart-breaking.


From one of my brother’s friends when I was 14:

You’re so fucking ugly I don’t know how you can stand looking in the mirror every morning.

I think it was made even worse that my brother and his other friend there said absolutely nothing in my defense.


I cried and tapped through the whole video. So many hurtful messages came up. I’m not even sure which was the worst. Maybe when my mother told me that she spent so much money on my surgeries that she couldn’t afford to have another baby. Or when my mother told me she loved my brother more than me. I pretty much healed these but there are more layers.

You are all so brave for sharing your hurts. :heart:


Wow… deeply appreciative of everyone’s sharing of their painful moments. I guess reading and knowing about everyone’s hurt gave me the space and knowledge of such a commonality in experience. In that, it is all too relatable, and strangely, “unifying” (I’d say). Love to everyone for their bravery and their vulnerability! (I would like to say that I too, hold space and safety for these matters! :’) )


I appreciate that you shared the video. You find good topics and videos :hugs:


Comment from an anonymous troll on a video interview I did in the media as an openly trans person.

‘Sorry, Pinocchio. We all know you are not a real boy.’


Comment said online to my close trans friend who was a plaintiff in a trans discrimination case. I know its her worst.

‘Wouldn’t suicide have been cheaper?’


“…but names will never hurt me…”

Eeek! I so hate that old statement. Names hurt me a lot more than sticks or stones ever did…