Hi - I signed up for Carol Look’s - “Unlock Your Abundance” series, and just finished listening to the first “activation” (replay). It was good, and so much stuff came up for me, but I think one of my main blocks is skepticism that I can ever get what I want (many past disappointments weighing me down).
I do feel pretty clear about my vision though, and when I was tapping on all this doubt and negativity yesterday - I noticed some good memories of things that worked out in the past and ways I felt really supported by the Universe spontaneously came to mind. Grateful for that.
Also appreciating Rick’s support around rephrasing some of Carol’s questions - instead of “what is the upside / what is the downside” - (I really don’t like those questions and find them triggering) - I can ask - “I wonder what might not feel safe about taking this step?” and tapping on creating a fresh attitude. I will be exploring this more.
Is anyone else here taking Carol’s course and wanting to share the process? I have been stuck in scarcity for way too long and am excited to discover new ways to create abundance in my life (and share it with others).
I’d love to chat with you about Carol’s Unlock Your Abundance program too. Like you, I’m also a recovering scarcity thinker, eager to boost my vibration and focus on all the abundance that surrounds me.
Hi Andrea. Thanks for sharing. Hopefully we can learn about abundance and vibration boosting together. What did you think of the first activation class? I could relate to alot of what the others shared. I still need to do my “homework” tapping and took some notes in my journal to keep track of any shifts and changes in a positive direction.
Warm Best Wishes as you work through Carol’s course. May we both begin enjoying an abundant life!
For me that is a core practice. ESPECIALLY for “things that worked out” over longer periods and in simpler, yet supportive ways. Even unanswered prayers that lead to more thriving.
Visions, to me, that have yet to give us inspired actions we can actually do TODAY and have that FEELING of being “in it” are either unclear or “too big.”
Everytime I’ve gotten “too big” then movement stops. Same with “too small.” But it is the too big that leads me to feeling overwhelmed… and that my energy isn’t “abundant enough” to “do ALL that!”
It’s why my vision includes an intention for 100 hours of work that matters each month. Definitely not fulltime. I’ve had people find that knowing that 50 hours per month was right for them freed up their spirit to explore and create. It’s not the number. It’s the energy of freedom, for me at least, that says “Hey, do work that matters. Get paid for some of that work. Enjoy feeling grateful for those that exchange their life force and time with you. And go from one inspired action to the next. Explore where it leads ‘within’ the broader vision ecosystem.”
Glad to have some discussion here on this. Thanks for getting us started, Jewel, and welcome @AndreaAmador !
Thanks for your support & sharing, Rick. I’m grateful for your vision and that you do the tapping work that you do, and are so generous with your time & energy.
I don’t think I’m stuck because my vision is too big or too small, but rather I keep running into this big wall of stuck anger (which I’m beginning to think is probably more like stuck grief / anger being my defence against feeling it).
I did a bunch of tapping yesterday on my fears about taking action steps (even just small ones) towards my vision. And ended up at this familiar block of bitterness / a younger part of self that refuses to let go of resentments. But even though I’ve known this for quite some time, I haven’t been able to find my way out of it - even with tapping.
So I tried combining some EMDR/bilateral music, writing & tapping - wrote many statements of how I “wish things could have happened differently” and ended up with a kind of “grief inventory list” (10 major unresolved issues).
I have this grief course I bought during the pandemic called “Transforming Loss into Life Re-imagined” (using yoga & breathwork, etc.). I started it but never finished it - just listening to others share their painful losses was so challenging - and I kind of shut it down and danced away from it. Didn’t want to feel the deep sadness there.
But I’m thinking I may go back to it now. I keep asking this inner teen part of me what she needs - how to help her release the rage and desire for revenge, and the grief mixed in. But it’s difficult to find clarity. Things tend to get alittle hazy. Like I’m so aware of the problem but can never quite get to the solution. It’s driving me rather bonkers since I think it’s probably a core issue that is blocking my healing from chronic fatigue.
I want to make a commitment to go back and do the damn grief course (it’s 6 weeks). Hoping if I approach my stuckness from this angle it will open up space inside of me that has been shut down for far too long now.
Asking for support to stick to my commitment and not dance away from the feelings this time.
Grief can be super sticky, and I’ve seen so many times where Wisdom keeps from going into all the depths until there is a stronger Life Line… a stronger sense that yes, that happened. Yes, all I could think of and feel at the time was this sort of impotent rage, and NOW… I’d have THESE choices to take increments towards what matters to me NOW.
I want to honor my inner child and teenager. I also am assertive in a compassionate way, “Love you, and I am clear about what matters (!) to me now, and here’s what we’re going to BE here.”
Grief can be so wet and yin. Rage is an “antidote” to wetness – fire!
What is a more empowered way? I find there’s an assertive energy Within, one that can know what matters, be what matters, and take inspired action that matters.
The grounding is in an Acceptance. Yes, an unwanted reality back then. “Hey, the good news is that we’re older, wiser, and have a few more choices now.”
Yes, harder for sure when we’re around genetic family that still radiate a need for boundary. An alternate boundary to stuckness and inner rage is a calm confident assertiveness on behalf of YOUR Precious Life Force.
Here to encourage and support that, if it helps!
Rick
I’m thinking that now that Carol Look has her new bonus out - “Afraid to be Clear about your Vision” - I may try using it to gain clarity on the best ways for me to heal stuck anger & grief (and not keep dropping off and spinning my wheels).
(I wish I could be on the call later today but I’m going to be at work).
P.S. (abit later) - After tapping with Carol’s bonus audio, an idea came to me to practice being “Fiercely Self-Loving Shel”- when it comes to this assertive energy needed with toxic family members, so I will explore that (maybe it somehow fits for dealing with anger & grief wisely too? still trying it on for size)…
I’m also taking Carol’s program and happy to engage here with you all on the many facets of the topic. I’ve been playing with Vision since the activation call, hopping from one vision to the next as I try to find one to focus on during the course. I really resonate with what Rick said about visions being too big. I can spin big visions. And want to manifest all of them right now. And then I feel my energy isn’t abundant enough to do it all ~ and of course, I do want to protect my Qi, so why not just stay stuck! What Rick said about going from one inspired action to the next, feels just right, right now. So that’s my vision: me living life, going from one inspired action to the next. Just following the flow of my Qi and being content, happy, calm, confident that it’s enough. That I’m enough. Yes, I’m enough.
Speaking of scarcity, Andrea. Thanks for bringing that idea up. My mom used to tell us (whenever she said NO to a request for dessert, allowance, new clothes, etc) We’re Used to Hardships. I’m realizing how many things were hard ~ hard-fought/hard-earned . . . like her love.
Lots to explore in my journal, Jewel. I love knowing you are a journal keeper, too. For me, transforming the energy of being so darn hard on myself as I welcome an abundance of ease feels rich with possibility.
Thanks Paula. I appreciate your sharing. And I like your vision of following the flow of your Qi and living from one inspired action to the next.
Yes, lots to explore and journal about for sure. I definitely want to transform the energy of being so darn hard on myself. Today I came up with a new focus in my diary / new title page - (made me laugh) - “Fiercely Self-Loving Shel Finds Her Own Way” (finally). Maybe I’ll do a collage about it.
Hope you’re doing well Andrea and can dance along with this Unlocking Abundance intention in ways that work for you. May we all experience an abundance of EASE.
Fiercely Self-Loving Shel (but hopefully with some humor & silliness too)
I want to try and say a little more on my “vision” - but it’s also something I’m still exploring and trying on for size. Here is where it’s at for now: (there are 4 parts but they all kind of fit together):
Get a better paying job so I can support myself financially (currently working 25 hours per week in retail, but the pay is not so great).
Gain more energy & stamina (improvements in shifting chronic fatigue to more vitality)
Get my own place to live (most likely through affordable housing / considering how high rents are now - I’ve been on the waiting list for 4 years)
A win/win/win situation for mom & my sister & I (so I know mom will be safe and cared for when I leave. Right now I’m living with mom and it totally sucks, but she is getting older and I worry about her living alone now too. I just don’t want to be feeling so overly responsible for her in such a draining way. Goddess help us! I care about her well-being, and want to give what is truly mine to give, but there is so much codependency/enmeshment between us - it’s hard to sort out the truth of the matter and what burdens belong to me and which ones do not). So clarity & grace for all these matters is part of my vision too.
I know I’m stuck in certain ways - can sense my own inner resistance patterns and fears about making changes, so I will continue to tap on this for sure. Might go through Rick & Cathy’s - “Be What Matters” program to see what really matters most right now. Struggling to get deep clarity on how to shift things and to stop living my life in a state of overwhelm most of the time.
Not really looking for “advice” so much as just to be witnessed and seen & heard. Maybe even send healing energy / prayers if you feel so inclined.
Appreciate you sharing the aspects of your vision, Shelley. Is there one aspect that feels less overwhelming, where going deeper into the Possibilities and What Matters would help build your energy and stamina?
Well, I’m not sure if this is right or not, but the first thing that came to mind was about “living space” - and this encouraging idea called “Sparkle-Joy Caravan of Loving Life”. It’s about imagining having my own tiny home and how I will feel when I get my own place to live and can create a life I truly love. There’s a certain energy or feel to it - hard to describe right now, but it definitely connects to the “uplift” and “feeling carried forward by grace” idea’s (from the Be What Matters course).
I’m wondering if I can somehow bring this energy or feeling into my current situation & challenges. It’s not like I actually have the money to buy a tiny house at this point, but more about how I would like to feel in my daily life - (the opposite of rather oppressed by all mom’s chronic complaining and worrying out loud / focusing on problems & being very verbal about it).
As far as energy & stamina - I’ve been playing with the idea of “energy glimmers”. Rather than trying to make huge changes in diet/nutrition and set big goals for yoga & breathwork, and thinking I need to go to drastic measures (been there, done that, and it didn’t work) - I feel inspired to see what tiny changes I can make - following the daily inspiration (the daily flow of qi, as Paula put it).
Weird that I had a strange dream last night and woke up thinking - “you need to pray”. Well, it was a sense that I am going to need “stronger medicine” than just the above ideas, which I haven’t totally given up on, but I know on my really low days I will need more.
So if I “need to pray” then, as the dream message seems to say - I think I will experiment with some of the following: (1) Iyanla Vanzant - “Get Over It” prayers, (2) Tosha Silver - “Change Me Prayers”, and (3) August Gold - “90 Day Prayer Partners”.
I’ve always believed in the power of prayer, even though I don’t really follow the christian religion anymore and have a mixture of idea’s from various faith’s and traditions ( my own oddball blend / spirituality recipe / very open-minded & celebrating freedom).
It’s embarrassing to admit that I don’t really know what in the hell I’m doing right now, and my mind tends to jump around to different idea’s & paths from one day to the next.
I know I’m in trouble though and need some “strong medicine” to get me out of the mess I am stuck in. Please excuse my current messy mind & jumbled up ideas - but dream messages are hard to ignore. I’m still exploring what it means and how I want to proceed.
Oh - ha ha - I went back to listen to more of the “Be What Matters” course and landed on some good advice about “quieting your noise”. There is way too much noise in my head!
It’s hard to hear the right signal when there are 5 different radio stations playing at the same time!
Glad I will be having a week to myself in March (house-sitting & caring for my sister’s cat). Hopefully I’ll be able to quiet the noise more there, and hear inner discernment much better.
When I hear/feel that call to prayer, it reminds me that integrating all the Wonders and Wisdom I get from others is done… inside. With spiritual connection. It tends to come in cycles, seasons. Times when I am “taking in” (inspiring - like taking in breathe) and then USING that energy, and letting go later of what does not serve.
have you tried experimenting with any of your prayer programs? I googled August Gold and discovered her Gold’s 5-5-5 morning practice. 5 minutes of reading, 5 of journal writing, 5 minutes of stillness to connect with her inner wisdom. I like that her journal writing is not a to-do list or a summary of what she’s done, but rather an exploration of her feelings. When is your March week of quiet cat sitting?
Hi Paula - Well, I haven’t really been doing the August Gold prayers, just muttering desperation prayers under my breath (to the Goddess) and I do journal writing daily and rant out my worries. I haven’t quite found my way of prayer that feels right just yet. So much anxiety it’s hard to focus in a contemplative way.
I’m having my week of quietness March 19th - 26th - cat sitting for my sister. Hoping my mom won’t call me daily (with a long list of problems) and ruin my serenity, but we shall see.
Hope you are doing well, and finding your flow of Qi and inspired actions.
P.S. The other sort of “prayer” I sometimes do is to write on small slips of paper and put them into the worry box or “Goddess Box” (think I will go do that now).
Maybe I’ll do a collage about it.
