Thriving in the Coming Year

 Real Skills Workshop - Community Event


RS 2022-12-28 NewYear

Thriving in the Coming Year

Real Skills Workshop: Thriving Lifestyle Design

Hosts: Rick Wilkes (@Rick) and Cathy Vartuli (@Cathy)

Recorded Wed Dec 28 2022

:point_right: Replay is below

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Appreciate You…

They say it will be 2 degrees F today. Brrrr shiver!

What brings me warmth is knowing I’m not alone… there are Beings like you who value Emotional Freedom, who appreciate and want kindness for self and others, peace of mind, calm of body, and confidence of heart.

I Appreciate You… and thank you sincerely for being a part of the Thriving Now Community wherever on this blue planet you call home.

You’re invited to join Cathy, me, and our circle on Wednesday, December 28th, to explore and share what matters to YOU – what emotional energies you want to make real for you and those you hold dear in the year to come.

Thriving to me is rooted in what matters. When we’re clearer about what matters, our energy has a stronger direction. Our creativity is set free. We can assert “This Matters to Me!” – without needing to be so dang hard on ourselves.

That’s where we’ll be engaging. Will you join us?

:point_right: Replay is below

And if you’re needing a bit of extra warmth, the recording of Warmth When It’s Dark and Cold Emotionally is there for you… anytime

Blessings to you this season, always and all ways.

With smiles and love,

Rick & Cathy
Your Emotional Freedom Coaches
Schedule Private, Gliding Scale Coaching Sessions Here

Our Circle Membership - now available for
a one-time payment on a gliding scale!

Circle Members get all Real Skills Workshops (and much more)!

This gliding-scale based EFT Tapping and Coaching session is 90 minutes long. If you get value from what we do, and your resources allow, we so appreciate generous financial support and promise to put it to good use. Thank you!

P.S. Adira says, “May you feel Wonder and know Abundant Love this year to come. Thank you for celebrating This Precious Life with me in 2022!”

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What does it take to be Thriving?

The answer to that is worth exploring.

I’ve been known to make it “impossible” to thrive. How? By being Ridiculous Rick… having standards so absurdly high that I never, ever got a moment to savor the life I was living. That’s changed.

Mercifully, emotional freedom work recalibrates us to what matters.

And that’s what we’ll be exploring on Wednesday. (Yes, last email I said Tuesday. I was imperfect. The 28th is, indeed, Wednesday.)

What matters to us emotionally is the key filter through which we experience life.

What matters to you emotionally? And what supports you in living what matters? Reply… and let us know… and join us…

:point_right: Replay is below

YEAH!! Our Circle Membership - now available for
a one-time payment on a gliding scale!

Circle Members get all Real Skills Workshops (and much more)!

If you get value from what we do, and your resources allow, we so appreciate generous financial support. Thank you!

With smiles and love,

Rick & Cathy
Your Emotional Freedom Coaches
Schedule Private, Gliding Scale Coaching Sessions Here

P.S. Adira says, “What matters to me is Playful, Loving Connection! Warm toes are nice, but not required.”

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Skills (not resolutions) for Thriving in the New Year

Imagine making a resolution to "stop worrying so much!!"

I did that.

Made it all the way to 12:03 am New Year’s Day before worrying I would fall off that wagon… and falling off that wagon.

What changed my life was seeing Emotional Freedom as a SKILL. A skill that could be learned – which means it could be taught. I’d start, be awkward and clumsy with it, and continue… because it is a skill.

It does not take 10,000 hours to “good enough” at a skill for it to change your life. About 30 hours into practicing EFT Tapping on my worries and fears, I was noticeably less worried.

Noticeably as in people noticed! So did I.

As we head into 2023, I’m inviting you to consider what emotional skill would truly enhance your life.

Then, get together with Cathy and me tonight (or if you need to, get the recording and pretend you’re with us live). Let’s set the stage, Together.

We’ll share how you can use other emotional skills to support you. With some fun Imagineering, we’ll get clear about our Why’s and get started with some How’s.

And we’ll do some Tapping, of course, to put energy into our decisions… and have fun doing it as a group!

:point_right: Replay is below

YEAH!! Our Circle Membership - now available for
a one-time payment on a gliding scale!

Circle Members get all Real Skills Workshops (and much more)!

If you get value from what we do, and your resources allow, we so appreciate generous financial support. Thank you!

With smiles and love,

Rick & Cathy
Your Emotional Freedom Coaches
Schedule Private, Gliding Scale Coaching Sessions Here

P.S. Adira says, “Have you noticed that often the tastiest parts of life are right at the tip of your fingers?”

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Thriving in the Coming Year - Workshop Recording

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We welcome your insights, ah-ha’s, and sharing. Please! Click [Reply]

Click for Computer Generated Transcript

Thriving in the Coming Year

[00:00:00] Welcome to Thriving in the coming Year,

[00:00:04] and this is being recorded live a few days from the new year. If you’re watching this on a recording, whenever it is, the coming year starts now and , I’m. Eager to explore this, , with you and with Cathy. , because, , one of the things that has really changed what, , my life experience has been is looking at thriving as an emotional experience.

[00:00:32] And this happened before I became an emotional freedom coach. It was one of the things that excited me about emotional work. Because, you know, a lot of the people that I had read about, they talked about like boldness and courage and confidence and very young kinds of get out there and make it happen and be successful and awaken the giant within.

[00:00:54] And, and that was great, , for when I was really depleted. But it, it wasn’t grounding for me. , it wasn’t something that I could, , feel really engaged in my heart and in my gut, in the muscles of my legs and back and neck and everywhere else. I needed something that, , was grounded in what matters to me.

[00:01:17] And so that’s our invitation. I’m Rick from Thriving. Now I’m here with Cathy Vartuli from Thriving Now and the Intimacy Dojo. Cathy, what does thriving look like for you in the emotional world? , you know, it’s really evolved a lot over my lifetime. I’m reading this book about, um, how adult children were immature parents, like growing up it was so much like I wanted to achieve an escape.

[00:01:41] I wanted to meet the metrics that society had taught me, and my parents had taught me. I was really living a role. So I want, you know, I’m so glad I got my PhD because I learned a lot and I like having the title, but I don’t know if I would’ve chosen that if I’d been listening to my authentic self. It was like, you know, the metrics, money, uh, titles, good job.

[00:02:02] Uh, the scales a certain way. Do you have a boyfriend? I know when I had a partner, I felt like, oh, I’ve kind of ticked that box for my, when my mom was very happy. Um, and one of the things I love about how Rick and we’re, we’re, we’re planning on presenting this tonight is to help. Beneath that social layer beneath the role where a lot of us play over the years, I’ve made a lot of decisions based on those roles.

[00:02:26] And it takes a lot of willpower to get those things complete. It takes a lot of fear often, or trauma, to kind of drive ourselves to com to get that to that thing that we thought we needed, or society told us was really important for us to be valuable as opposed to what does our core being really want us to be?

[00:02:44] Who? Who is it that I wanna express myself as? What experiences do I wanna have and create for myself? And we do wanna have basic, like we need to be able to take care of ourselves. And then some people are struggling with financial, like different people are different financial states or different health states or, or loneliness states.

[00:03:04] Um, . I think making sure we’re expressing and working towards those goals in a way that’s really clear and aligned with who we are takes a lot of the friction out and also some of the willpower. It becomes much more authentic and natural. That doesn’t mean we won’t have to occasionally do work. We might have to like focus on things and remind ourselves and, and maybe it doesn’t always feel like delightful to go to the gym if that’s what we’ve decided to do, but if we remind ourselves and we’re gonna anchor that as we go, if it’s really core to who we are and we’ve anchored it that to like, oh, this is the experience I wanna create for myself.

[00:03:43] It’s not so much being driven, which I did so much of my life. , it’s an invitation in inviting our natural self to step forward. And there’s a lot more natural energy in that. We don’t have to use the, the adrenaline to push ourselves forward as much as like getting how, how can I remove blocks to things that are preventing me from naturally expressing myself in that way?

[00:04:06] What can I do to build up the resources and the skills I need as opposed, and we’re not trying to make ourselves, we’re not trying to drive ourselves from outside. We’re, we’re actually in ourselves looking for those experiences. And the steps we’re gonna take you through tonight will help you clarify that and, and tune into that.

[00:04:25] And I think that if you’re here, I just, I really appreciate you. I think you’re rock and you’re my kind of person, uh, that wants to be authentic and thrive in a way that feels really good to you and natural. That’s one of the words I love. Like how do I naturally wanna be? Not how other people taught me to be, but how do I naturally want to be in the world?

[00:04:48] Um, so I read a book, um, I think it was called Attracting Your Perfect Customers. Um, that’s the name that comes to me. And it was at a time when I didn’t even know, uh, what I wanted to be doing, but there was something in there and I think I misread it. Um, it was great cuz one of the questions that it really talked about wa for me was like, what’s the experience that my customers can expect from me and what I want to have with them?

[00:05:26] And that for some reason, I, I took out a piece of paper and I’m, I’m not a drawer really, but I started putting words just. on the page in different colors. I had some colored pens. Again, something that was pretty different from me. And one of the words, and I can still picture it, it was two words, deep connection.

[00:05:50] Mm-hmm. . And I was not yet a massage therapist and I wasn’t an emotional freedom coach yet. But it was one of those things that, um, those words became my definition of what I was gonna be working toward in some way. And I started doing a little bit of the process that we’re gonna be exploring, not just tonight, but also over the next three months in our Real Skills workshops.

[00:06:19] Um, I started seeing things through that lens and I noticed something I could go walking with my dog, maybe throw Frisbee. or I could have a deeper connection with my dog. And that changed my life experience. So if I went out with him and I threw, uh, her, and I threw the Frisbee, and I was really much more attuned to a deep connection, well that, that changed the experience for me.

[00:06:55] Um, when I sat and watched a sunset, when I had a conversation with someone, if deep connection became something that I was moving toward and valued, that became a lens, a focused awareness. I started asking and being aware of, well, how deeply connected am I? And I started bringing resource to it. Like I was meditating.

[00:07:21] Well, meditating. I, I did mostly by myself. And while there was sometimes a group experience, I occasionally had, um, , I brought my ability to drop in and go deeper inside myself to when I started engaging with others. And over the coming year, a lot of things changed. Um, I was working as a chief technology officer.

[00:07:51] My relationships at work became deeper. Um, and I, I didn’t necessarily like have this as something I worked on every day, but I knew in my, in my heart and my gut that that deep connection mattered to me. Still does. So by choosing that and making it a focal point, my my world changed. And when deep connections started showing up, I could feel it more because I was aware of it.

[00:08:29] I was. With it. I was dancing with it, I was offering it, I was inviting it, I was aware of it when it wasn’t existing. Um, and that also led me to people that had a similar asking, even if they weren’t, you know, even if the, they weren’t connecting deeply with me. Um, up to that point, one of the things I noticed is that people that also had a craving for deeper connection started going deeper with me.

[00:09:00] And so when we look at thriving emotionally and as a real skill, I believe that there’s a real skill in having an emotional state that really matters to you out of the map and landscape that you want. All of that you. You have the, the skillful awareness that if you focus on, on something for a period of time, that you will develop some deeper a, uh, deeper awareness skills, savvy playfulness, um, curiosity.

[00:09:41] Um, you get to know your edges, you get to know your blocks, you get to know, um, a little bit more about your ecosystem. And so that’s, that’s one of the first things that we’re gonna be inviting is, and the chat is open. Um, and you don’t have to limit right now. This is, you can write down 10 things. You can do whatever you want, um, and.

[00:10:12] The, an invitation that I have is that if one of them really, if you, if you feel into it and it’s like, you know, if I have, if I have more of that, more of an experience of that in this coming year, well that would really enhance my, my, my experience of life. Can we just do a bit of a short guided meditation to help people tune into that?

[00:10:41] Does that feel, it feels good to me. We have some thumbs up or, okay. Yeah. See if you fine, fine. So, I invite you to go into this the, to the depth that feels good to your body and your, and your system. But if you’re not driving and invite you to close your eyes if you’re in a safe place, as you feel drawn, take a slow, gentle breath in and let your body sink into your chair.

[00:11:06] If you can look around the room and be just before you go under and just notice that you’re in a safe place, this is a place where you can really let yourself tune in. You don’t have to be on guard. Rick and I have the container for this circle, and hopefully you’re calling in from a very safe, warm place.

[00:11:25] Just take another deep breath and kind of wiggle your toes to get in your body a little more. Cause we want this to be not just your head, but your whole body involved as well. And just notice your heart. Notice that it beats you. Don’t have to worry about it. It’s doing its thing. It’s beating there for you.

[00:11:46] Every love dub. It’s saying, I love you. I love you, I love you. It’s taking care of you. And maybe there’s a longing in your heart that you haven’t been paying attention to, or maybe you have. Just invite your heart to let whatever you’ve been most longing for to include or add to your life to emphasize or grow.

[00:12:14] Let that rise up in your, in your awareness and invite your heart to share with you what spice or experience or wonder do I wanna add to my life in this coming year that would really help me feel fulfilled and authentic and powerful and just really good about life.

[00:12:42] And just let whatever comes to the top of your mind, float up there. Even if it’s silly, try not to reject it or, or search for something else or overlay something else. Just let whatever authentically verbals up, and sometimes our inner being will speak in metaphors. So if you see a clown, maybe you need more laughter or play.

[00:13:04] Um, just notice what’s coming up, what spices do you wanna add to your life in this coming year in terms of experiences and flavors.

[00:13:17] And just let that solidify in your head if you can.

[00:13:24] And I’m gonna just, if you’d like, take another deep breath. Maybe. Thank your heart for loving you so much that it beats 24 7, keeping you alive, loving you each moment. Let yourself come back to the here and now, and you may wanna jot down if you had some thoughts. Sometimes the most tender ones we hide away, so while they may be very clear right now, they might disappear if they feel too tender,

[00:13:55] So, um, you may wanna just jot down what’s coming up for you, and even if it’s like a half formed idea, if there’s just a few words you wanna write down.

[00:14:14] And if you want to, one way to anchor some of this, and it, it can be vulnerable and tender, so please take care of yourself. But if you’d like to share any of these in the, the chat, like any thoughts that came up, any ideas? Um, and sometimes we’ll get ideas of, of experiences we want or like we’d not, maybe we have an ex an an idea of something, but it may not, we’re not sure how we wanna express it.

[00:14:38] So when I was doing that, what came up for me is lionheart. There’s been a part of me that’s been really wanting to be, I grew up most of my life feeling very timid and scared, and I’ve really worked on, through my life about being more outgoing and, and being, uh, sharing things and facing my fears. But there’s been part of me calling to be more lion hearted, more courageous, and like not so timid and careful, not un mindful, but like just not holding myself back and triple checking everything all the time.

[00:15:08] And that’s, I’m not clear how I wanna express that yet, but there’s a concept there like Rick was talking about with the deep connection. Um, and when we can anchor that, , that can be really powerful. Someone shared ease. Someone else shared increased self-acceptance. desire to live like brave heart. I love it.

[00:15:29] Harmony. Those are beautiful. I love them. Feeling resourced and capable. Mm, I love that.

[00:15:39] So just if you can breathe that in, just really let yourself, I think sometimes we don’t let ourselves really connect to the things we want, because for most of our lives, maybe we didn’t have the skills or the access. When we’re young, we don’t have access to a lot of things. Our parents or the gatekeepers.

[00:15:57] And then we maybe didn’t have the skills, we didn’t learn the skills. So like centers are fumbling around and it’s really easy for the brain to decide, Hmm, I can’t get that. That’s not for me, that’s for other people when it’s just, I have never learned those skills. So we’re gonna talk more about some of the blocks that can come on in a little bit.

[00:16:19] Hmm,

[00:16:24] I’m drawn to, um, to pull out my app. It’s not my app, it is an app called How we Feel. It’s at least available on, um, on iOS, uh, apple, but it may also be available, uh, in other ways. But I’m gonna, I’m gonna offer some, um, light, lighthearted, laugh more.

[00:16:53] There are many, many . Um, so palm at ease. Understood, fulfilled, supported. Now this is how someone is that you’re to look at this like, I feel this like chill, um, balanced, tranquil, thankful, blessed, grateful. And then there’s some that are, um, perhaps of a, a stronger vibration. Things like focused, playful, delighted, hopeful.

[00:17:35] Hop 10. I like competent. I mark that one a lot. Um, engaged, uh, optimistic, upbeat, curious, energized, excited, in awe, amazed. And for me, the one that is gonna be my focus is eager. And so, There are, there’s an emotional vocabulary and, and one of the things that I noticed, um, having installed this app and having it invite me three or four times a day to say, Hey, how you doing?

[00:18:22] Great. Yeah. Um, there are certain states that are, um, I would call them my more resourced states. Um, and there are also states that are sort of depleted, like tired or fatigued that can come up, especially when I’ve been awake since two or three, um, discouraged. But there’s, there are, there are resourceful states that, um,

[00:18:56] these are ones that I believe that if you want to feel, um, more ease. If you’re really good at feeling, I don’t know what’s, what’s, what’s something when you feel ease, like thoughtful. Okay. If you find it easy to be thoughtful, um, that would be a resource that you could bring. Um, you might find, find it easy to be, um, uh, thankful.

[00:19:32] Mm-hmm. , you might find it easy to feel, um, loving. And so if you have resources that would support you in this, can consider writing those down too. These are things that you know about yourself. Um,

[00:20:03] And I’m, I’m tender saying because like there was a time when, um, you know, if if someone had said I wasn’t generous, I would have, it would’ve hurt a little bit cuz I was, um, I wasn’t as strong in it, but there was a part of me deep that even beyond that tenderness, um, I knew I, I have a generous, um, core.

[00:20:31] So one of the resources I bring to being eager is my generosity, my natural generosity. It’s something that I’ve cultivated, I’ve practiced that for years now. It could be that one of the things that you bring is a quality of courage. I, I, I see people and, and see your names. And I, I’ve gotten a chance to know your courage as a resource at, at being with, um, life as it has happened and continues to happen.

[00:21:07] Um, and so if that’s something that you can own, like, yes, I, I have courage and I want more, what? Self-acceptance, ease, harmony, um, a sense of competence, whatever it is. Um, as I’ve been going through and these steps, it has been really good for me to have an awareness of the resources, emotional resources that I can direct my energy toward, um, and that support what I’m wanting.

[00:21:40] Mm-hmm. . Uh, I love that. Um, I, somebody, a couple other shares just to get them permission to receive more support, love, connection, and money. Um, I wanna feel more lighthearted and to laugh more. Yes, to laugh lighthearted and free. Connect to this moment, each moment. Um, and I think I just, I love how diverse they are.

[00:22:05] Like what we’re asking for, what we wanna experience is different for many of us. Um, as we go through this. Go ahead. You said No, the, uh, well, I, I was making like permission to receive more support, love, connection, and money. Um,

[00:22:27] there’s a state of being. , what would you call that state of being? Whether you’re actually receiving more support and love and connection and money externally. What is the state of being the emotional state? Like for me, it’s, I am, I would call it open, receptive. So if I’m open, receptive, then those things have no re they have much less resistance coming to me.

[00:23:01] if I’m open, receptive, um, welcoming, uh, would, might be another, another state of being. And, and, and, um,

[00:23:15] I’m sharing these words and these energies hopefully to prime the pump, but for you to get your own, like, oh, this is what it is for me. Um, Uh, appreciation can be a, a, a wonderful kind of, uh, supportive energy. Like if we want to be more open, receptive when it comes to us and we go to a state of appreciating, there’s, there’s a feedback that happens, isn’t there?

[00:23:45] Right? Mm-hmm. , like, if something’s coming to me and I’m, I’m receiving it deeply and radiating back a state of appreciation for that. There’s, um, an energetic. . And that’s one of the things we’re looking for. And one of the things that we’ll be, um, exploring over the months to come is what is the, what does the energetic feel when we’re in one of these flow states?

[00:24:13] Um, you know, it’s a state of being, but it has a dynamism. It has a, like, thriving is an aliveness. It has a vitality to it. Um, and, um, yeah, so go ahead Kathy. Um, some other feel people shared appreciation, appreciating, being more soulful and being in present, secure, um, rooted. So not affected by others opinions and needs to live my soulful self, emotionally resourceful, behaviorally flexible.

[00:24:51] So I love those and. If you can like imagine you, you’re muted on your side, so you can say the words like, for me when I say lion hearted, if I’m very present and I imagine I’m almost tasting the words, can you be present with the words and notice how your body feels? And that’s a really great way if your body feels a little off, if you have tension in some part of it, maybe there’s some part of you that’s afraid to have it, or maybe there’s something that’s a little off like, oh, I’m wanting this for other people.

[00:25:21] Or, so I just invite you to just take a deep breath and say yours. Just being very mindful and present with the words and noticing how that feels to you. Does your body feel really happy? Mind feels a little scared, but also very like open and eager. So like I think it’s useful to just tune into.

[00:25:45] And just notice what’s coming up. Hmm. Um, cause that one person said they feel excited. That’s nice. That’s a a we, we often use body guidance to know what our No. Is and sometimes to get our Yes. When it comes to thriving, um, we’re looking for a body sensation that even if there’s also noise and fears and awareness of, um, the challenge ahead perhaps that there’s, um, there’s an aliveness to it.

[00:26:21] Um, Sometimes, you know, I started a couple weeks ago with this process and the first things I landed on, um, they felt really comfortable. Um, they felt like, okay, the, yeah, these three things, these are what I want to focus on. Um, I wanted to focus on kind the state of being kind, the state of being generous and the state of being appreciating or appreciative mm-hmm.

[00:26:51] but actively like, appreciating, putting that energy out into my, my world. And those feel really good, but it turns out those are my resources because what I want for thriving is a bit more eagerness. And when I think about being eager, I’m like, okay, yeah, that would make a difference. And there’s a, oh dear , but there’s a Oh dear, and an Oh dear

[00:27:27] So like, just being vulnerable. Um, you know, with something like eagerness, um, there’s, there’s a mix of, of attitudes toward the eager person. Um, I live with a really eager, uh, child, um, who moves a lot of energy and, you know, I, I, I admire that, but I also have found that I’ve suppressed my eagerness. Um, and so th this is, this is, um, The, the cool thing is, is that whatever you’re doing here, if you, if we allow it to evolve, you’ll get more clarity and you’ll feel like you’re refining your, your focus soulful body purs with soulful.

[00:28:26] I love that sense of alignment. Yeah. Um, and it’s a state of being alignment. Uh, for, for like that period of time when I was really focused on head, heart, gut, groin, like I was, I was feeling in my life about the things I was choosing and doing the people is, was there an alignment in what I was doing, what I was offering, uh, and developing that skillful awareness and practice of alignment.

[00:28:58] Um, if you already can feel the alignment. Wonderful. That’s one of the resources that you bring cuz you’ll be applying alignment. So in our community we maybe have people that are really like skillful already at knowing their body alignment. They have that, um, and, and others who are, um, going to be cultivating that.

[00:29:21] Um, Yeah. And for some of you, you may be wanting to, to strengthen things that you already have, and some people it might be a reach goal, so just know that there’ll be different levels of, for me, it’s a little bit of a reach goal, so there’s a little more fear involved and that’s okay. Like, you know, being a little trepidatious about trying something new or trying something that maybe we’ve failed at in the past can be a little, oh, I’m a little scared about this.

[00:29:49] And yet when we’re in alignment and we know we have support and we can start removing the block. So we’re gonna talk about some of that, uh, in just a minute. I think that there’s a way, like we’re, we’re remove all our job is, is to like, keep ourselves on track, gently guide ourselves back almost like we’re meditating and remove whatever blocks and bring whatever resources we have in.

[00:30:11] Mm-hmm. . So I think this might be a good time to talk about resources. Is that fill line for you or, well, we’ve been, we’ve been touching on that, um, ? Well, I would love for if, oh, you wanna go to the Wise first? Is that what you’re, um, I’d love to have people write down, like, very specifically since we’ve touched on resources, let, what resources do you bring if you haven’t recorded them or really, and, and become so clear?

[00:30:46] So I know some people don’t enjoy writing things down. Um, what are the resources that would support you having more of this emotional experience like Lion heartedness? Kathy, what are some of the resources that you bring toward embodying Lion Heartedness? . Um, so I’m noticing the fear about it, but I also immediately think I have a number of friends and coach.

[00:31:14] I have a coach. I have people that I can bring in to help encourage me and remind me if I get off track. Um, I love post-it notes. I have them all over my house, sometimes . Um, I think it’s really easy. Our subconscious, sometimes if we’re making changes that are a little, like our subconscious is like, Ooh, not so sure about that.

[00:31:33] It can make us dis, it can distract us. It can be like, Ooh, don’t look over here. You know, so having a post-it note, so, so like I, I can put a post-it note on my bath, my, my bathroom mirror saying line hearted, and I can put one on the refrigerator and I can put it on one on the door as I’m leaving just to kind of tune me and remind me.

[00:31:52] I can put one on my, the back of my phone, a small one so that I’m, when I’m at work, I could see it and run into it. So just kind of reminding myself to tune in and telling people that I wanna do that. Safe people. and inviting them to notice if I’m, again, our subconscious can be tricky and we may think we’re doing great, and then someone that we care about that’s close to us might go, really?

[00:32:15] That didn’t look very line hearted to me, that look like you kind of escaped that. And I can, I can choose to look at it and say, well, that one I’m choosing to escape, or, huh, you’re right. I didn’t notice I was doing that. So for me, that’s, uh, bringing that in, uh, quite a bit. Um, some other people said, tap into my intuition, tap into my intuition, muscle testing the words and the feelings.

[00:32:39] I think those are related to the, to the resources. Um, and I love that I have tapping, so if I have fears come up or I, you know, start thinking things that won’t work, I can, I can do some tapping on it. Um, And share that with people. Like, oh, it is natural to be scared when we’re doing something that’s new.

[00:32:59] If we wanna have different experiences, we kind of have to do something new. So what I just heard there was wisdom. You, you have this wisdom that is a resource for you that, Hey, I’m gonna be doing something that’s new. Mm-hmm. , and it’s a bit edgy for me. There are things my primitive brain are saying about it, right now.

[00:33:21] And I’m aware of it, and it’s not, it’s not consuming me, but it’s also something that, that I’m going to address through, um, things that, you know, have worked for you in the past. The, the Post-it notes, uh, engaging with, uh, a supportive community, um, friends and coaches, sharing it out loud with other people, sharing it out loud with people that feel right.

[00:33:45] Um, are there any emotional states that, as you’re. . Let’s say that you know, you’re not feeling lion hearted. Where where might you land resourcefully, even if you’re not being lion hearted? That would be a supportive thing that. I think one of the things I’m, I’m really wanting to do is be mindfully, lighthearted.

[00:34:13] Not just like ra, I’m gonna take on anything, but like, is this a line? Is this a battle I wanna fight? Is this, am I, am I resourced for this battle? I’m not gonna just like jump in front of a car and like, you know, start pounding on it or something. Uh, which I think of some people when they’re really like, oh, I’ve got this.

[00:34:32] That’s not what I’m looking for. I’m looking for a quieter, more sustainable version of that. So self-care is part of that. And that may mean that there might be days when it’s like, this is not the day to engage that really strongly. Um, as, as we get older, we hopefully get wiser. I sometimes question my own wisdom on that, but can you know, is today like if, if I go running today, am I gonna strain something cuz I’m really depleted mine, I might hurt myself.

[00:34:59] And it’s better to say, okay, let’s do some gentle stretching instead. So like, if we’re. If we have something we’re trying to create, that doesn’t mean we have to go out there and every day do 30 or 40 or an hour, uh, run. If we’re, if one of our goals is to really be a little more fit and be more connected with our body, it, it’s not to push ourselves with a standard every time.

[00:35:22] It’s like being lion, lion hearted to me means very mindful and aware and present with what is, as well as pushing myself to like, you know, like not be timid and avoid certain situations or, or tell people the thing that I think they want to hear so I can avoid feeling like a person they don’t like mm-hmm.

[00:35:42] Um, so to me, yeah, it’s, it’s being a little more mindful and like how, how, how re resourced I am today. Is this a good data to kind of push myself or should I take baby little baby steps instead or, so you’ll notice what Kathy did by talking and answering the question she repeated. essentially the same thing three or four times.

[00:36:02] I don’t know whether you’re aware of that. Modified it a little bit. Yes. Right. But it you allowed it to evolve. Yes. And if you have a friend where, or in our circle calls or in the future workshops, if there’s an opportunity for you to talk or even into your voice recorder, like, okay, I want to be this and, and what are the resources I have that I’m bringing to this?

[00:36:29] Um, you know, mindfulness, you’ve cultivated mindfulness, resource awareness, you’ve cultivated that, and you can say no, you can say no to something, um, with a self-acceptance that, look, I, I, this is not the day, this is not the time, this is not the relationship. And you also have people that you can check in with and, um, not, uh, Like, when you’re clear about something, you’re really clear.

[00:37:00] And I know that if you’re unclear about something, um, as your friend, I can say, I’m not feeling your clarity yet, are you? And you’ll go, you’ll go deeper into either feeling and radiating your clarity about something, especially if it’s a no for you. Um, and your yeses. Um, and this is, this is what, uh, this is what we’re talking about is, um, thriving is, is a mix of things.

[00:37:39] And I everyone that I, I know there’s some people on the call that are, are new to me. Uh, welcome , it’s great to have you with us. Um, thank you for, for joining us for this exploration, um, with each of the people that I do know. And I’ve had a chance to engage with, there are resources that I could point out.

[00:38:01] And if you have anyone that has a closeness to you professionally in emotional work or in your personal life, you could ask them, say, Hey, um, what, what skills or, or capacities do I bring to to my life? You might find that really, like if you want to be more receiving of love and appreciation, that would be an amazing question to ask.

[00:38:30] Um,

[00:38:34] you, we can bring, like I’ve been through hell and I’m still kicking. Now that’s a resource. It may not be. Maybe what you’re looking for is more ease and one of the things that you have is like, you know, I’ve, I’ve been through a lot and I’m still going and it’s okay for me to relax a little bit because it isn’t quite so much as the hell that I’ve been in.

[00:38:59] Mm-hmm. , I can be present with what is, even if it’s not useful, hard doesn’t mean it’s bad. Uh, I know bad. Um, , um, those are some resources that can come. Someone else has also shared resources equal dark chocolate to soothe my ruffles and I think ruffles to soothe my ruffles. , I love that we can turn to food and other things and.

[00:39:29] I don’t know. I think I was brought up with, I’ve been using food too much for that. So I think if you feel aligned and that feels lovely, great. If not, you might wanna try some tapping or some other ways to, like, why are you getting, are there, are there thoughts that are going on or stories you’re telling yourself about the things that are causing the ruffles that you can help sue that.

[00:39:49] And also, I love dark chocolate, so I’m not criticizing that at all. I’m a fan. Um, well, and here, um, someone said be being aware of the, the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual elements of harmony and enjoying external harmony in nature. So if you’re the person who can go out into nature and tap into harmony and harmony is one of the, is what you’re wanting more of in your life, that means that in that context, I can go in nature and I have a pretty high likelihood of finding some harmony.

[00:40:29] And um, that’s again, like, um, I believe that if you choose to engage this way for the next few months that you’re going to discover, especially if you decide to document it, that you might have 20, 30, 40 different personal skills that support what matters to you. Yeah. Um, um, and. So for resources, and you’re welcome to share if people wanna share just some resources.

[00:41:06] I thought like, if you have nature nearby, I’m really a fan of scheduling in my calendar. I’m someone who follows my calendar calendar or a timer to remind me. So maybe there’s a, maybe every afternoon you have a timer go off at one o’clock to remind you to go outside. Things that you can, I love setting up like the post-it notes or schedule reminders because life can get in the way.

[00:41:29] And again, if we, we tend to fall back into that flow of things, even if we’re really aligned with what we wanna create. So a resource can be a calendar or a phone or timer or a friend even that’s like, did you get outside today or this week? Like, have you been doing that? So I, I love the idea of helping using technology or, you know, simple technology to get yourself in that flow.

[00:41:55] Yeah. And um, or. We’ve touched on internal resources, things like courageousness, resilience, um, and you don’t have to be courageous outta 10. If you have some courage in you that you’ve demonstrated, then you can tap into that. For lion heartedness, that’s a different state of being. It’s a different vibration.

[00:42:17] Um, it includes that. Mm-hmm. . Um, and there’s external, these things that we’re talking about. Grit. What a great, what a great energy to curiosity as a resource. Great resource. Yeah. What will I find today? In the, in the, in the woods. Yeah. And coming back to what, what right now is feeling alive for you. And I’m gonna invite in before we take the break, what are your authentic, they’re authentic to you.

[00:42:57] Why, why would having this experience as a regular, even if not predictable, but something you cultivate, something you put your awareness and attention on, something that at the end of the next year you like? Well, I do definitely have a lot more skill and savvy and understanding and practice in my whole being about this emotional state that matters to me.

[00:43:29] And it, it has a ripple effect, uh, sometimes a profound effect on all the external aspects of, of your life. Why? So why, why is it something that you want to have as a core of your thriving? And I really encourage people, like, why, why do I wanna be lighthearted? Because I think that really was my nature, and I think trauma took that away from me early on.

[00:43:59] Um, like if you can, you know, and I wanna make a bigger difference in the world. If you can have, if you can write some of those whys down either for yourself or sharing the chat. Again, I love when you share in the chat because I think it inspires other people and it also helps anchor, you shared it with other people.

[00:44:16] I know me speaking the words aloud, like Rick talked about how I repeated them and refined them. It’s really powerful. So even writing them in this is, is very powerful as well. Mm-hmm.

[00:44:33] because it feels good. I love that. Yeah. That’s a, that’s a great answer. Perfect. , uh, not that you needed my, my confirmation, but like, I’m adding that to my list cuz it, cuz it feels good. . It feels good. Feels good to be eager. Um,

[00:45:03] and like Kathy said, for me, um, eagerness is something that feels like it’s a part of my nature that has been suppressed. Mm-hmm. , um, for a variety of, in a variety of ways. Um, so it’s a return to, uh, a natural state and it’s one of my natural states. So again, like ecstasy is a natural state for me, but it’s not, I’m not designed to be ecstatic.

[00:45:34] All that time. And eagerness often is, for me, an experience of activation. It’s a great activation energy. It really aligns and puts out, uh, my truth. So, for example, eagerness, if I’m in that state, whatever my truth is, is, is more clear and maybe amplified isn’t, it’s, it’s less muffled, which makes it seem like it’s amplified.

[00:46:06] So if I’m really excited to be with someone really excited that someone’s, um, join me in our work together or, uh, as a dance partner, or we’re having dinner together, and I am not letting myself be eager, essentially what I am doing is not.

[00:46:29] I am, one of the, one of the things I want to do is to have my, my radiance not necessarily be eager as in always having to be loud and boisterous or anything like that, but if I could be very present, quiet, but radiating a kind of truth. So eagerness to me is like, I am willing and able to radiate my truth.

[00:46:59] Um, that’s a big why for me. Yeah. You know? Yeah. That sense of authenticity.

[00:47:11] Thank you. Yeah. It’s, it’s authentically, you know, whatever authentically is me in including that I’m not enthusiastic. But, um, again, like I’m focused on, there are definitely times I’m aware. That. My truth would be that I’m much more authentic, much more eager than I let myself show. I think that’s a really powerful thing.

[00:47:37] Where are we holding ourselves back? Where have we trained ourselves to pretend something? Um, when we’re pretending that we don’t feel a certain, either we’re not tired, we’re not happy, there’s, we learned a role and we’re playing a role that’s not really us. And there are, there are certain circumstances where I pretend like I’m not, don’t feel safe with this person.

[00:47:58] I’m gonna pretend to be quiet and polite. But, um, generally I want to be more my authentic self and express who that is. Someone shared, I wanna be more resource aware because I wanna be able to care for myself in more powerful and helpful ways, um, which will then allow me to be more honest and authentic and care and respect to others while also caring and respecting for myself.

[00:48:22] I just invite you, one of the things I teach us when we’re learning marketing is keep adding why to the end of that, so that I can do what? So why, what do you think that would bring? And it might become emotional, like it just would feel good, or, I think that’s the right thing to do. Integrity can be internal.

[00:48:40] It doesn’t have to be externally applied. But if you can keep going to something that ma like something that really like, makes you feel like, Ugh, I’m gonna do this, that’s gr that’s a great place to be if you keep saying. , I want to do this so that this other thing, so that this other thing, usually we start working closer and closer to our core, our core want.

[00:49:02] And some people have already land like just, just cause it feels good or it feels like my authentic being, but I wanna make sure that you’re going deep enough that you’re hooking the authenticity and well you’ll, it’s kinda like drilling for oil once you catch it. Like you got a lot of oil going on. But if you’re, if you haven’t quite got there, it may not, you may not feel that oomph that, that Oh I, yeah, this is what I want to do this year.

[00:49:27] Um, and I’d love that for all of you. Cause I think it’s a lovely feeling when you have it.

[00:49:34] Mm-hmm. nourishing my flourishing . Um, yeah. So. I love that we’ve been talking about the why, and I think that’s really important. If you don’t have a good why, it’s really, and I, I don’t know if you said that here, this here Rick or was just before, the more why, the more ways this can connect to our life, um, the more likely it is that we’ll complete it if we just have one like, oh, it’ll make that one person happy.

[00:50:04] Or I’ll, I’ll feel better around that one person. It’s easy for it to wither versus this is how I wanna be at work and at home. And when we can drill down enough so that we’re looking at something that’s kind of universal for ourselves. And we have a lot of whys. I’d love to be more lighthearted cuz Aira Rick’s daughter is, I’m super Aunt Kathy, she’s so dear to me and she’s pretty lion hearted.

[00:50:28] Like I wanna make sure she sees other lion hearted women out there. So that’s one of my why’s. I also wanna make a bigger difference in the world and I feel like it’s authentic me. Like the more wises you can have, the more it’s easy to tap into it and be inspired by what’s going on with you. Going around on, around you too and for just for yourself is totally okay.

[00:50:51] Someone shared for me. I love that for me cuz I want to. So,

[00:50:59] um, I will be more self-loving. That’s a beautiful why I love that. To be more self-loving is just amazing.

[00:51:12] We’re gonna take a break for seven minutes as promised. Um, you can look at your whys as what, what would this do for my physical thriving? What would this do for my emotional experience with myself and of life? What would this mean for me in my own clarity mentally, for example? Um, how would this, um, S support or enhance my spiritual connection inside of myself.

[00:51:55] Um,

[00:52:00] because there’s no right or wrong here. Someone could write, I want to be eager for me, and that that’s just like enough. Yeah. Um, I know my brain and I’ve worked with enough people that over a period of time, if, if you haven’t embodied this already, chances are over a three month period, for example, much less a year, you’re going to run into different seasons and different emotional states where.

[00:52:36] all of a sudden the demands on you from others who you really value can feel like, well, there’s no time for me. And that’s where having a stack, like my morning mile was about physical vitality and being able to, to be connected and free and in my own space and a another stack of like 17 or 18 different reasons that I continue to add onto, which has helped me do it over almost 800 times now.

[00:53:12] So by by stacking your wise, and making that a part of the process, return to the ones that you have when you feel like, okay, I haven’t felt very this appreciative or, um, I haven’t felt very open and welcoming to love and support and the like, uh, things aren’t feeling very harmonious. What are my why’s?

[00:53:39] Because that the resources and the why’s are part of your ecosystem of energy that you can tap into a, a why matters. Um, and it is a very deeply. . Um, the b the why’s that really speak to me may involve other people, but they speak very deeply inside of myself. Yes. So, for example, if I’m trying to stay healthy for other people, I care about, there’s no resonance to that, um, compared to, you know, I, I have this body and I, I want to experience vitality.

[00:54:21] So vitality, wow. You know, if I get an, a chance to move with just even a bit more vitality than I do sitting on the couch each day and I’m getting more of that and I’m cultivating that and I know that, you know, there’s a future me next year, the year after, 10 years from now, 30 years from now, that I’m actually making his life a lot better.

[00:54:47] I by like, so that’s a very deeply intimate and you know, It’s very likely that I’ll be around to engage with Vital Vitality with other people that I care about. They’re included in the We Space, but the why is speaks to something that, uh, matters. You know, to, to you. Okay. One of the things I’d just like to add to that, just before we, as we’re going to break a lot of people, like in this space, a lot of us are trying to meet, work on our inner selves.

[00:55:22] For many people there’s a fear of being selfish. And so if you can add wise, like, I want to be a role model for someone I care about, you want it to be authentic. It’s not just statusy and, and showing off for them or impressing them, but if you’d like to, if you can add in like a role model or I think that this person would feel safer if I was in this position, that can kind of reduce some of the selfish feeling many of us were indoctrinated with and you don’t need it.

[00:55:49] Like it’s not necessary. You’re, I want you to be selfish for yourself, but if you’re fighting that kind of feeling of selfishness, sometimes finding some whys that relate to people you really hold dear can kind of soothe that a little bit as you’re working through it. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and a why for me is not like the, because I want to go to Italy.

[00:56:11] Um, it, we’re doing work in the emotional world, and that’s an infinite game. So eagerness is something that there’s, it’s not an end result. It’s a state of being that if you look at, if you look backwards, um, you’ll notice times when you were eager or a bit more eager than you might have been without this attention.

[00:56:32] Um, you start embodying it more so that you bring that as a resource next year. like, oh, I’m actually a more eager person, just like I’m, you know, if you cultivate calm confidence, you’re, you’re, you’re bringing that as a resource now to your future thriving as well. But it’s, it’s, uh, the end result is kind of the goal vision board, um, approach.

[00:56:59] There are lots of people that do that. Um, we’re looking at, you know, the emotional, energetic experience of life, and that’s, you know, to me that’s, that’s called, they call it an infinite game. It doesn’t have, uh, you’re not keeping score so much as being in it, um, enjoying playful, developing skill, um, getting playmates to engage with you.

[00:57:24] Um, yeah. Yeah. Okay. We’re going to, um, break for seven minutes, and if you’re watching the recording, hi. Uh, we encourage you to take a break too. Um, let things settle, see what comes up for you. Uh, it’s good to take a, a movement away, uh, into your own me space. Uh, and then we’ll, we’ll come back together. Okay.

[00:57:51] Welcome back. Yeah. Yeah, we had a couple more people share their whys, um, to feel happy and content. If I feel more self-acceptance, I’ll feel more at home in my body. I love that. Um, and I really appreciate people sharing their whys. I, I imagine that they’re really vulnerable. Sharing my why feels very, it’s like, this is who I am here, look at this.

[00:58:16] And so I just really appreciate cuz when we share with each other, so of those, I mean these are really inspiring. I’m like, oh, I love those whys. I can, I can incorporate them in my own way and my world. And I think also when we speak them aloud, they make it more real for us. So I just really appreciate you sharing that.

[00:58:36] Mm-hmm. . So we have our whys, we have some resources that we thought of. Um, is it okay to dive into the blocks because I think it’s really important to acknowledge, you know, we can have this great idea and. We can have resources lined up, we can tell people about it, but the blocks that come up, if we’re not kind of prepared, like we might be surprised by some of them, but if we can prepare for some of them, acknowledge them, and normalize that everybody has blocks to emotional, psychological, physical blocks to what we want to create financial blocks, writing those down and figuring out ways to address them can help make them seem less overwhelming.

[00:59:22] Because if we just run into it, usually mine come up at like three in the morning. I’m like, uh, and they feel so much bigger at three in the morning or whenever we’re low resourced or overwhelmed. So if we, we acknowledge 'em, here we are in this beautiful group. What are some of the blocks that could come up for you, um, around this, around moving forward with this?

[00:59:42] And again, it could be emotional, physical, psychological, um, financial. What’s, what might stop you from moving ahead? Or what stopped you in the past from moving forward with this and letting ourselves, like in the past when I’ve tried to be more courageous, sometimes I’ve run into experiences that taught me it was really dangerous to move forward.

[01:00:04] Like I didn’t, I, my brain decided, oh, go back in the cave and hide versus, oh, can I look at this problem and see what happened? It maybe it. You know, maybe I didn’t draw this experience to myself. Maybe it’s just I need to break it down into smaller pieces. Maybe I need to work on my fears around this. My fear, sometimes when we’re afraid the fear feels like proof that we shouldn’t be doing it or proof it.

[01:00:31] It feels so real and so alive that it’s like, oh, I shouldn’t go there. Versus, oh, can I break this down? And we’ll talk a little bit more about baby steps in a little bit. But how can I break this down and either clear the block or learn a skill or create something else that will, you know, find, invite another resource in to help me get around the block or over the block, or dissolve the block.

[01:00:55] But if we don’t know what they are ahead of time, consciously, and we just react to them, often we end up dropping whatever we’re doing. Mm-hmm. . So if anyone would like to share something. Yeah. One of the first blocks to look at is what are what? , what do I think other people think about and react to this?

[01:01:18] So I have my own about eager that I’ll talk about in a little bit. But let’s say that you want to feel accomplished, that that matters to you. It’s like there’s something inside of me that I, I want that experience of accomplish meant that it, it resonates. It’s a, it’s, it’s a tone that I like the feeling of, well, what does that mean?

[01:01:43] Well, like some people might think if you tell them, well, I just, I wanna, I wanna accomplish things. Ah, you’re just being in your ego, for example. Well, that’s their noise. And I will say that we’re going as part of this process. If you’re an emotional person, we will most likely have to have to, huh? Yeah. Uh, Look at the noisiness that we run into, have run into and we fear that we’ll run into.

[01:02:21] So, and it can be like Kathy said, that, um, if I know somebody is, uh, anti something, uh, they’re not gonna be the one. I’m gonna choose to talk about this first. Um, you know, um, accomplishment. Well, what comes up for you? Um, being open and welcoming for love and money and abundance. What, for that, as I think about it, like their skills.

[01:03:02] being able, if I’m open, I also need to be able to close because what’s coming my way may not be something that I want. Oh, I’ll give you money by doing something unethical. I’m, I’m open to money with filters. I if, if you become aware that, you know, I am really wanting this kind of, of love connection, do I have the filters in place?

[01:03:32] Do I feel strong enough? That may be one of the, that’s not necessarily a block. I believe that our, our being can want to keep us safe and keep us from going in that direction. And if we go deeper, it’ll say, Hey, you know, you’re susceptible here. Um, and we can firm that up. We can firm up your, um, your clarity.

[01:04:00] Whatever it is that you want, if you want, um, if you want a sense of just harmony and there’s a lot of people that they just around you that they’re not very harmonious. They don’t seem to value it. Um, if there’s something peaceful, going and harmonious going on, they’ll need to turn on some raucous music or something, um, that’s in your ecosystem.

[01:04:29] And you’ll, you’ll want to start saying, okay, well maybe my harmony starts with my solitude and with my connection with nature. Ooh, yeah, I have that. Um, and maybe there are people that put out a podcast that, uh, feels harmonious. They’re discussing things and engaging thi with things that matter, and they’re doing so in a way that feels harmonious to me.

[01:04:56] Oh. And I can tune in for a few minutes and, and feel the harmony in what, what they’re exploring, even when it’s hard stuff and there’s a, there’s a harmoniousness to it. Ah, that may not be a call with your mother, for example.

[01:05:17] Sorry. Um, so some people have a shared, sorry, that was the last comment Got me. And I say there’s people laughing. Um, so some blocks me not being aware of my own chains of feelings, um, on something blocks other people’s verbal judgments on what I say, don’t say or do when I’m just being myself. Sometimes I feel like when I change, then other people will just want more for me.

[01:05:44] And that can be scary or overwhelming if that’s one of yours. And I think that’s a, for a lot of people that can come up, building up boundaries and exercising our no is really powerful because I don’t wanna hold myself back or be weaker. I mean, I, all people do this. This is not a judgment on that. Um, but the less we can hold ourselves back and restrain, you know, diminish ourselves so that other people don’t try to pull at us, we have the right to be vital and powerful and, and in ourselves and just say, no.

[01:06:15] to other people, and it can be really hard. We may have to be with some feelings of I should have been there. I, you know, who am I to deserve all this? Sometimes it can be hard, but it can also be really useful if we’re always there propping someone up. They may never do their own work. We don’t know how the universe is gonna work through and around us.

[01:06:37] So if that’s something that comes up, I just really encourage you get in some of the, the circle calls. Uh, Rick and I have a great call on boundaries as well that is out there. Um, just building that up and learning to say no and saying, I’m not available for that, can let you feel much more expansive. So I love that.

[01:06:56] Yeah. And this is why I, I’m, I’m, I’m eager for spending at at least three months on these things because what I’m seeing here are skills. Mm-hmm. , for example. Um, and, and they’re written in a, in an authentic way, like. Oh. Um, other people will just want more from me. Yes. And do.dot. These are the skills that you can cultivate so that you can both be experiencing what you want and also bringing resource, um, not so overwhelmed with my own changes.

[01:07:34] Well, yeah. And not, and another one nervous about scaring myself. And both of those would be, um, and this is, this is great for me because it helps me clarify some of the steps that we’re gonna be doing together. Okay. I’m nervous about scaring myself, to me is an emotional person. What I say is when I scare myself, I can dot, dot, dot, and I create a menu Now.

[01:08:09] And then I might tap something like, even though I’m gonna scare myself,

[01:08:17] um, the good news is that when I do, I can take a timeout to tap. I can take a powerful pause and go out for a walk. I can, do you mind myself? I can take smaller steps. I can, I can, I can take a step back and reconsider what my next step is. I love having these choices. Cause , I’m probably gonna scare myself.

[01:08:47] I’m probably gonna scare myself. I’m probably gonna scare myself. I’m probably gonna scare myself. I might get overwhelmed. I might get overwhelmed. Yeah. And it’s okay to keep recalibrating. It’s okay to keep recalibrating. Ah, this isn’t an either or. This isn’t Amy there, or it’s something I want a bit more of.

[01:09:07] It’s something I want a bit more of. And I have my reasons and I have my reasons. I have a long list of reasons. , I have a long list of reasons,

[01:09:19] and I don’t have to be like this all the time. I don’t have to be like this all the time. Oh. And when, if I, and if I get scared and overwhelmed, I can always pause. If I get scared and overwhelmed, I can always pause and turn to my resources and turn to my resources. So you notice we’re, we’re, we’re saying yes.

[01:09:43] Yeah. What, what if I burn myself out? Mm-hmm. . Yeah. Even though I have a history of burning myself out, if that’s true, I know at this point what the early signs are. And so when this sign shows up, I’m going to pause and if this sign sh shines shows up, I’m gonna close myself off for a day. Right. I’m gonna practice just like, nope.

[01:10:12] I am not open to love money or anything , you know, and let myself feel the power in being able to like do, um, like I am not going to be eager today. Uh, you know, like, oh, I’m feeling this pressure. I’m pressuring myself to be eager. Yeah. I am not eager to pressure myself to be eager and so I’m gonna be, uh, calm and restore my confidence that eagerness is something that I Yeah, go ahead.

[01:10:44] I just, well, the, the way they’re written a couple by a couple different people, but they’re together and they’re one of mine that I would love to do a call on, cuz I get a lot of the other calls too. What if I burn myself out? What if I go too far? How can I get there safely? Sometimes when I’m making good progress, all of a sudden I have a lot of adrenaline.

[01:11:01] It feels so good. I’m like, RA, it feels good to do it for 10 minutes, so I’m gonna do it for 30. And then it’s like, it’s hard to, especially if we’ve been held back a long time, the, like the water, the pressure behind the dam, the desire to get there fast is very powerful. So I think maybe if we do a column that, that would be good for me as well as it sounds like some other people, because it is, it’s hard to like, no, I shouldn’t do more even though my, there’s my whole being is calling for me to be there, it’s like maybe I’m physic physically not ready, or emotionally not ready, or I haven’t built up the tolerance for this yet.

[01:11:39] And it can be, there can be a lot of internal pressure, like it can feel so aligned that it’s hard to like go, is this reasonable for my body? Is this reasonable for my being right now? Like, how can I take a baby step and check in with myself about before I, as I’ve done, oh, I’m walking really well, I’m gonna double my walking time.

[01:11:58] Oh, wow. Now I hurt my knee and I can’t walk for, you know, a couple weeks. It’s, I think that humans do run into this, and especially when we’re finally making progress, you can get right. So, so this is part of the, the, the, how, this is part of how do we get more of this? And one, one of the things I love about EFT tapping, and if you’re new to it, thriving now, dot com slash tapping, we have, uh, free course, uh, that you can sign up for.

[01:12:28] Um, it’s honest. You can s you can say, well, even though I’m, I’ve, I want this so much and now I’m so clear. I’m putting pressure on myself.

[01:12:43] I’m open to feeling.

[01:12:49] Calmer, clearer, being reasonable in an authentic way, taking softer steps, exploring the range of this state. So I’m gonna use eager, for example. Um, and I think just like any tone, any emotional tone, um, you can, you can have a, a really soft eagerness, right? It can be very internal and you can have a, yeah, let’s do it.

[01:13:24] Um, and everything in between. And there’s also a category which I, I am gonna label for me, over eager, over eager, might be, um, Tinged with desperation. So if desperation is present in me in a big way, I might have a tendency to be over eager. Um, over eager might be that I am so in my own eagerness that I am starting to run a little rough shot over the we space.

[01:14:00] Okay. I’m not really attuned to it. Um, and so like, yeah, if one of the things that you want is to be, um, in harmony with your space, sometimes being able to go back into turtle mode, like what is the soft landing place for you? If you’re not, if you’re not this, I can land here and be okay, actually be like, yeah, that’s a good place for me.

[01:14:36] Um, so for, there’s eager. , and then there’s saver, there’s eager, and then there’s, okay, gravity’s working. I’m present.

[01:14:57] Okay. Now, I don’t feel eager right now, although it’s coming back as I, as I reengage with you all. But notice I came back into a place for me. And so when you, when you know that you have a place where you want to land, um, it, and that, that you’ve cleaned up some of the blocks, like even though I’ve criticized myself for going into turtle mode, you know, it’s one of my totem animals.

[01:15:27] It’s not my only totem animal, but it’s one of 'em like, and that’s okay. Um, even though I really want to be, um, Now this I am okay. Uh, self-accepting, right? Like right now I’m feeling very aware. So like, there’s self-accepting and then there’s aware of a dynamic that is calling for attention. Okay? So that’s, that’s not the same as self-hate and rejection and things like that.

[01:16:00] But it’s like, you know, I am not in a place yet where I am accepting. I’m still in the, okay, something’s going down here and it doesn’t feel good to me and I’m aware of it. So I’m in the awareness state and I’m, maybe I want to go to a place of deeper solitude, or I want to re, you know, maybe it’s better for you if you reach out to one of your resources.

[01:16:28] Like, okay, I’m aware of this. I’m not accepting, and this is a resource that comes to mind to take this too. Yeah, just to, just to share an name, like someone shared their phrase, what if I outgrown my family of origin? I would guess that just by being on these calls, you’ve probably outgrown them anyway. In some ways, , and as I’ve grown, like I’ve found some people in my family of origin that are really dear, we connect on this level and some people I have to, I decide how I wanna connect with them, but, Yeah, it’s a, that’s a big thing.

[01:17:05] And like, what will you, what feelings will you have to face and how could you process through them so that you could have more, more freedom to allow yourself to be who you are rather than being held back to. That’s a very primitive brain concept where I have to stay with my, my community, my original group, because I need to, to survive.

[01:17:25] I need them versus in our society that really isn’t as needed. But there is, I think, some kind of inbred, like I’ve gotta keep them happy and loving me to be safe. So I, I did, I think that’s a big one that can come up. Um, well, and remembering like, um, some people love the sunshine. Okay. And some people la slather themselves with zinc oxide and , you know, they hide under, they hide under multiple layers.

[01:17:51] Um, and emotionally, whatever emotions we look at, you know, they’re people that cannot handle, um, being someone who’s sad. Like if you’re sad, they cannot be around you. Um, there are families that have these agreements about what’s not really allowed in the We Space . That doesn’t mean that you can’t create a we space with other people.

[01:18:20] Um, I, there’s nothing, uh, in my family of origin that is, um, abusive or anything other than just okay and even good. And yet you all are the group that I’m engaging around what really deeply matters to my heart. Okay. Um, I am sharing with you that eagerness is an edge for me. It’s an aspiration. It also feels really authentic.

[01:18:56] I want to explore over the coming year, what does that look like in different contexts. What does it mean to have consensual eagerness? Because hey, eagerness is not always consensual. If you’re eager for another person and they’re not eager for you, like, where does that land? So like, there’s a lot of exploration that I want to get clear on to embody my own version of eagerness.

[01:19:27] And if you’re afraid of your, you know what, well, what if I outgrow? That’s a, that’s what some people describe it as. Um, I find it helpful for me, like, what am I going to continue, which feels compatible and authentic for me. Um, With my family of origin, for example, um, I know someone whose family of origin is really quite dysfunctional,

[01:19:55] Um, and one of the things that, that she said to me was, I want to be a, on occasion to go to a family event and be present with my extended family because it could be, it could be that some members of my family choose to, to want to take a journey similar to mine, away from some of the dysfunction. And when I go there, I’m not trying to change anyone.

[01:20:26] I’m not trying to change anything. I am in a place where I am and, and she has a number of. Ways that she tunes herself that are really true and authentic for her, amidst her family. And then if you, if you know her outside of that context, you’re like, wow, yes, you’re those things. Well, you’re so much more.

[01:20:52] That is, that outgrowing it to me is like the family. We space holds a portion of you if it can. And some people have had to separate from that and we honor that. Um, but often when people look at it like, oh, you know, there’s a, this slice of me and it’s a, it’s a tiny slice, but I can still be that with my family or I can be these things with my family and the, the more fullness of me can find home and heart and artistry elsewhere.

[01:21:28] And that’s, To me, thriving in the coming year includes the different we spaces. You have the we spaces you want to cultivate. We, um, we so appreciate you being a part of ours. Um, uh, our inbox is Open support@thrivingnow.com comes to both Kathy and I. We have the Thriving Now Center, thriving now.center, where, um, the replay of this will be, the links that we’ve been sending you are in the center and we invite you to share there.

[01:22:00] Um, if you want. , um, your, what your, your focus is some of the resources you have, your wises. We believe in shared wisdom. Kathy and I are facilitators, and while we’ve done the, the talking here, um, we have been taking from you all for years over, over a decade, uh, in order to integrate and invite.

[01:22:23] Disengagement. So hope that you, well, in the next upcoming three months, there are gonna be things that can help you with this experience that you wanna create. If you have specific things you’d love to see tapped on, drop us a message if you, if you would like to, cuz we love suggestions and, and you know, asks, feel we’re both responders to that.

[01:22:42] We’d love to help people, the experiences you wanna create and the fact that you’re willing to sit and be clear with them for the last hour and a half that’s gonna carry you forward, even if you do nothing else. But we do hope you do more. But like, that’s gonna give you some, some ooof going into this next year and I’m really, I wanna see what you create and we wanna support you in all of that.

[01:23:02] Mm-hmm. , thank you all. Ah, happy coming year. Thank you. Appreciate you. Until next time.

We covered…

  • Emotional Thriving in the Year to Come
  • Guided Meditation
  • What is an emotional experience that really Matters to You, that would enhance your sense of thriving?
  • Why does this matter, authentically, to you? (Multiple reasons are helpful!)
  • What resources (internal, external) do you bring to support you in developing this emotional skill?
  • What are blocks that come up? Concerns? Skills you will also need to develop to protect your health and well-being while you also expand?
  • What are some initial “How?!?” small steps you can take?

Resources Mentioned

  1. Free EFT Tapping Guide

  2. Thriving Now Emotional Freedom Circle

Great to have you on this journey with us!

We’d love to hear specifics of what you’d like to focus on. Our intention is to go deeper with this and support our community with 6 workshops over three months – and a course and support here!

I’m eager to see where this goes!