I remembered Rick telling me about how we all could use a little bit more appreciation, especially after being so much programmed to criticize ourselves for every little decisions that we’ve made :’(((
Today was strangely a struggle. A trigger that popped up unenxpectedly! I was in class and we had a little group discussion. We were working on game concept ideas and I suggested a game video for the group to watch. Felt a little nervous when I was doing so because I was in the centre of attention. But what strike me was that everyone in the group liked the video that i shared! I was honestly surprised that my idea was so WELL received, that it triggered more nervousness in me! Luckily everything was on zoom so I was able to hide some of my anxiety symptoms like shaking
But all in all, I just realised that I’ve lowered my expectations so much so that I already anticipated that people will brush off my ideas with like “ok cool”, “good idea but we can’t use them” mentality. And hang my head low until something like that comes along where people (esp when they are pretty much strangers to me - cause we only met for the 1st time) to say “hey, that was good! let’s do that! ”
So, what are the things that we can very much appreciate more of for ourselves, even when there are those that don’t reflect that appreciation to us?
- it’s my desire to play the guitar and to keep on learning even boring stuff that are actually really hard to master
- my desire to work on my inner well-being, anxiety issues
- my love for creativity in music
- my struggle to learn singing and doing so, having to endure the social fears of being embarassed by my family members when voicing out those weird singing vowels