I love tapping, of course. AND… notice how these reframes about how to be present with an emotion helps? I use many of these internally with my kids and their big feelings… which reminds me to use that frame with myself, too.
HOW TO Support Someone Feeling Negative Emotions
1. Anger
Ask: “What boundary do you feel has been crossed here?”
Don’t: Dismiss their feelings by saying “It’s not a big deal.”
2. Sadness
Ask: “What unmet expectation or loss are you experiencing?”
Don’t: Minimise their feelings by saying “It could be worse.”
3. Fear
Ask: “What is the threat here? How can you best prepare?”
Don’t: Belittle their fears: “It’s nothing to be afraid of.”
4. Guilt
Ask: “Which of your actions is in conflict with your values?”
Don’t: Quickly absolve them by saying “It’s not your fault.”
5. Anxiety
Ask: “What worries you? What is within your control?”
Don’t: Say “Stop worrying, just relax. Everything’s fine.”
6. Envy
Ask: “What is your hidden desire or aspiration here?”
Don’t: Make them feel shallow or petty for their feelings.
7. Frustration
Ask: “What’s at stake here that you care deeply about?”
Don’t: Say “Just let it go, it’s not worth getting upset over.”
8. Shame
Ask: “What expectations do you feel you’ve not met?”
Don’t: Push them to move on without looking at root causes.
from Mica Vaipan