Quiet Courage: Finding Strength Together

 Real Skills Workshop - Community Event

RS 2024-03-26 Courage

Quiet Courage: Finding Strength Together

Real Skills Workshop: Be Calm & Confident

Hosts: Rick Wilkes (@Rick) and Cathy Vartuli (@Cathy)

Recorded Tue Mar 26 2024

Quiet Courage… it’s when we know that what we’re going through is HARD, and yet we’re navigating, choosing, and acting.

Yes, sometimes just to make it another day. Or hour.

Yes, sometimes to transform our lives because we have to… or else.

And YES, sometimes because it Matters to us to do the hard thing NOW.

How have you shown Quiet Courage in your life? To survive. To free yourself. To express what matters to you.

We look forward to exploring this together. Quiet Courage has often been kept “under wraps” — we hope to demonstrate how bringing our courage into the soft light can support our ongoing journey towards thriving.

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Looking forward to it.

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The Quiet Courage (via Elon Musk):

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Real Skills Workshop

Quiet courage is a tapestry woven from the most delicate threads of the human spirit…

…a profound expression of strength that does not roar but whispers…

…the soft glow of resilience in the darkest nights, a testament to the enduring power of the soul in the face of life’s fiercest storms…

Unlike the bold and brash valor celebrated in tales of heroism, quiet courage is the melody of the heart that continues to play even when the world turns a deaf ear…

…the courage is found in the gentle embrace of a parent who, despite exhaustion, smiles to light up their child’s world…

…the silent tears of a caregiver, giving everything to ease another’s pain, their love an anchor in turbulent seas.

Quiet courage is the heartist who bares their soul without the promise of acclaim, driven by the pure need to express what matters to them…

…and it whispers in the choices of those who stand up for what’s right when no one is watching, their integrity a silent sentinel in the night…

Quiet Courage is present in the soft but resolute voice of someone battling illness, facing each day with a bravery that doesn’t boast, but simply is…

…and in the unseen battle against inner demons, fought in the solitude of one’s mind, a struggle as formidable as any fought in the light of day.

This courage doesn’t ask for recognition or applause. It exists in the spaces between actions, in the moments of decision that shape our lives…

Yet it is also the foundation upon which great deeds are built, not with the noise of grand gestures, but with the quiet resolve of a will that refuses to be broken.

In honoring quiet courage, we acknowledge the beauty and strength of the human spirit in its most authentic form. It is a reminder that true bravery often goes unnoticed, and yet, it is the very essence of our shared humanity, a beacon of hope that guides us through the darkest nights, leading us ever onwards, together.

Cathy and I hope you’ll join us.

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Appreciate You! Our inbox is open!

With love,

Rick & Cathy ~ ThrivingNow
Your Emotional Freedom Coaches
Schedule private sessions here

P.S. Adira says, “I appreciate the interwoven support that helps me feel courageous.”

Quiet Courage: Finding Strength Together - Session Replay

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We welcome your insights, ah-ha’s, and sharing. Please! Click [Reply]

We covered…

• Recognize that simply showing up and being present, even when it’s hard, is an act of quiet courage that requires emotional labor and life force. Acknowledge and appreciate yourself for that.

• Understand that feeling awkward, incompetent, or scared when trying something new is normal and a sign that you are building new muscles and neural pathways through courageous acts. The discomfort means you are growing.

• Give yourself permission to take baby steps and opt-out if needed when facing fears. Celebrate even considering or partially attempting a courageous act. Every step matters.

• Notice when you minimize or dismiss your own acts of quiet courage. Challenge the belief that says you need to do something huge or heroic to be courageous. Small acts that align with your values take real courage.

• If appreciating yourself feels uncomfortable, explore where that resistance comes from. You may need to unlearn unhelpful beliefs about not deserving self-acknowledgment.

• When your inner experience is scared or overwhelmed, acknowledge the courage it takes just to get through each day. Survival itself requires profound quiet courage at times.

• Seek out safe spaces to be witnessed and have your quiet courage reflected back to you by others. This can be profoundly nourishing and renew your energy reserves.

• Reframe confusion as a positive sign that you are off the familiar path and building new neural pathways, rather than judging it as bad. Embrace the discomfort of growth.

• Use a cue word or phrase (like “aardvark!”) to interrupt self-deprecating thought patterns and make space for self-compassion instead. Actively build new neural pathways of self-encouragement.

• Recognize that taking inspired action, even small steps aligned with your values, is an act of courage worthy of acknowledgment and celebration.

• Notice when you are tempted to wait for a major success before allowing self-appreciation. Regularly appreciate your quiet courage in the daily journey itself.

• Your quiet courage is seen and deeply appreciated, even if others don’t always recognize it. Every time you show up, tend to yourself, or take a small step forward despite fear or discomfort, you are demonstrating profound courage.

• Building new neural pathways and skills takes awkwardness and discomfort at first, like clearing a new trail, but with practice you will develop competence and ease. Allow yourself to start small and celebrate each courageous step.

• Courage is not the absence of fear, but moving forward with what matters to you despite feeling scared or uncertain. If you feel awkward or incompetent, that’s often a sign you’re in the arena of courage.

• You may have learned to not appreciate yourself from past experiences, but you can consciously build a new pattern of acknowledging your own courage and effort, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. Encouraging yourself is a powerful act of quiet courage.

• Confusion and overwhelm are signs that you’re outside your comfort zone and building new pathways. Being with those feelings is an act of courage in itself. Breathe and let yourself be seen in your courageous process.

• Sharing your experience and having it witnessed with support, even briefly, can replenish your energy and resolve to keep going. Reach out to safe people or your own inner wisdom to feel your courage reflected back to you.

• You have an inner wellspring of courage to draw upon. Reconnect to your deeper source and essential self. Courage arises naturally from what matters most to you.

• Thriving takes ongoing quiet courage. Be gentle with yourself as you practice new ways of being, tap on resistance as it arises, and allow others to support you. You are growing resilience with every step.

• Your sensitivity, empathy and willingness to keep showing up, even imperfectly, make you a courageous change agent and healer in the world. The universe needs your unique courage, dear heart!

• Appreciate the quiet courage in others and let them know you see it. We gain strength and heal together by courageously witnessing each other, normalizing the journey, and offering reflections and encouragement along the way.

Resources Mentioned

  1. Free EFT Tapping Guide

  2. Thriving Now Emotional Freedom Circle

Click for Computer Generated Transcript

Quiet Courage - Finding Strength Together

[00:00:00] Quiet courage. Finding strength together.

[00:00:02] You ever find yourself as you’re going through your life knowing inside that you’re really working it really like it’s taking everything that you got just to keep it together but maybe most of the people that you run into in the world don’t understand, don’t have a clue even that you’re You’re really laboring.

[00:00:32] It’s hard. anyone ever, you know, have that experience where uh, you know, most people, even the ones that we share a space with, , don’t necessarily know, , what’s going on. And, and yet to keep our, keep ourselves together requires energy. It requires , life force. It can be, , exhausting. Cathy and I, , in this real skills workshop, we call it a real skills workshop because we believe that there are shifts and changes that people who value freedom and value co creating can start bringing to each other and inside of ourselves, even in our relationship with ourselves, that we could, with, Some perceptual shifts and some energy changes and some ways that we orient to courage, that we can find strength together, find greater strength inside of ourselves.

[00:01:39] Hopefully not to just carry more burden. Um, rather to, yeah. But for our life force to be able to, be strengthened, our essential nature can feel more like the support. There’s a reason, you know, most of, most of us probably on the call have two legs. And when we’re standing, if you want to stand strong, you typically stand on both legs, not on one, not leaning off to the side. Um, at times when, you know, You need a little support.

[00:02:18] Someone’s hand can be a tremendous help. Um, if the world is spinning and you’ve got somebody else who’s holding on to you in any way, um, it can help stabilize us. So I’m delighted to be here co creating with someone who, who started this and set the seed for it, that, um, for this particular workshop. And I am really curious, Cathy, um, as one of the most courageous people I know, um, in a, in your quiet and powerful way, um, what does this mean to you?

[00:03:07] And how would you like to see? our community and the freedom can evolve this energy of quiet courage. Thanks for asking. I really love this topic because I think basically if you’re here on this call, I think you have a lot of quiet courage. I see that in Rick. I see that in each of you that show up because you’re not just taking life as it comes and saying I’m defeated by life.

[00:03:38] I have to just take what comes. You’re saying, I want to find out how to make this better. I want to help my system handle things better. I want to be able to be more connected with people. I want to bring love and goodness to the world. And I think there’s it. I think of my, in my lifetime, there’s been moments where I felt like the social system was not supporting quiet courage was kind of supporting defeat and people being overwhelmed.

[00:04:06] And this is one of those noisy times where it’s like really easy to say, I There’s too much noise out there. I can’t continue to put one foot in front of the other and offer gentleness or something good to the world. And the fact that you’re showing up here, that you’re doing the work on yourself.

[00:04:25] You’re asking questions about how you can support yourself and others. That’s quite courage to me. That’s the definition of quiet courage. So if you are here, or you’re listening to this call now or later, please, if you can, let yourself be seen by my eyes and let, let yourself know that I see your courage.

[00:04:48] That you’re not just giving up in the, in the wake of a lot of pressure, and sometimes a lot of experiences that probably taught you life is really hard. And you’re determined. If you’re here, You’re investing your time and energy to make your life better. That is, that just touches me so deeply. I have a family where there’s a few of us that are really fighting the good fight.

[00:05:11] We’re like healing and discovering and uncovering things that are different ways to approach life. And there’s a lot of my family that seems to be very stuck in the hamster wheel. They’re just repeating the same thing over and over again and wondering why. It’s just not working. They’re kind of like, Oh, this is just what life is.

[00:05:32] And it’s really painful for me to watch them because I’ve invited them to try EFT or different approaches, and they’re just not in a place they can hear me. And they probably have their own quiet courage, but it’s not one that resonates as deeply as what I see here with people that are just like, I’m not just going to just take what’s here.

[00:05:52] I think there’s something better. I’m going to learn some skills. I’m going to, I’m going to figure out how to do this so that. I have a little more to offer the world or offer myself even because I do think self care isn’t also, it’s one of my most challenging acts of quiet courage is when I take care of myself.

[00:06:10] It’s not something that comes naturally to me or is easy to me. So I, if you can just let yourself be seen and know that I see the courage that it takes, it takes to show up and say, I could sit there and watch TV and be distracted, or I could show up in a call and start doing some work on myself. So I just really appreciate you.

[00:06:33] And Rick, I appreciate you creating the space where people can come and support each other. And I think it’s, So empowering to see other people that are doing something good in the world. I, you know, like if I see someone just pull a weed or pick up a piece of trash, I feel more boosted. I’m not the only one going through the world, just trying to make it a little bit better.

[00:06:54] Someone who offers a smile, um, or, you know, a kind look. That’s it. Oh, I’m not the only one. When we come here in this group that Rick, you know, created the space for us. We can, our brains go, Oh, I’m not the only person that wants to change and transform. And I think that’s so encouraging in a time when if you turn on the news, you’re not seeing a lot of that.

[00:07:17] Um, if you turn on TV, so yeah, thank you Rick so much for creating the space.

[00:07:26] I got tired of the mantra of just suck it up, man. You know, like, That was, uh, it, that is the adult version of big boys. Don’t cry. And so for me, there was this period of time where the model of the hero. Nothing ever phases, um, um, if they’re called upon, they will do heroic things that everyone applauds and everyone looks at as heroic.

[00:08:02] And at, At some point, that type of buildup of sucking it up, sucking it up, sucking it up, sucking it up, it starts coming out as, um, dysfunction. Like, for me, it came out as complaining, like, Oh my God, I was the biggest complainer head, um, and worrier. And I think in preparation for our work together, I thought about how, what if I’d had a person, um, who, when I talked, I complained about something going on at work, self employed, uh, always have been, um, except for a period of time.

[00:08:52] Um, if I had had someone and I was complaining and they said, Sounds like you’re, you’ve got some hard things going on, some big decisions to make, uh, and I know how much emotional labor and quiet courage that that takes just to even be with it.

[00:09:14] I think my, my reaction at the time would be to try not to cry, at how profoundly true that kind of reflection is. Would have landed in that moment and how, and so for boCathythy and I, I think sometimes we’re, we’re setting the stage for like what we needed back then. So that for us as humans, as we go forward, where there’s more of it, more of that kind of reflection.

[00:09:47] Um, I, I make those kinds of reflections to my kids now, like, yeah, that’s hard. It takes, it takes courage to even consider climbing that. Yeah. And I, I said that to, um, my daughter who’s three and a half. I don’t know that she understands exactly what that means the same way we do, but I’m setting the stage of even to consider it is courageous

[00:10:24] even to consider making a change in like, there’s something wrong with me. I’m so anxious talking in front of a large group of people that there’s something wrong. You know, actually. Um, if, if you’re stepping up to be in the energy soup of other humans, whether one other human or family or a family reunion or anything like that, to me, that’s a kind of quiet courage that is called upon.

[00:10:55] And as Cathy and I were talking. I believe that if we’re going to be thriving in a real world rather than, you know, like the one that we can, the utopia that we could imagine, um, but a real world where people get sick, people that we love, their, their parents die, um, people, uh, are suddenly have to move from one place where they were settled to another, and they’re unsure, um, just to be with that energy, whether you’re the one who has to, you know, Is is is confronted with that reality or you’re with other people and you want to be present with them.

[00:11:34] That to me is asking for what matters to us, our heartistry to come forward. And that is what I understand is quiet courage, um, to be able to see that in others and reflect it. To be able to see it in the mirror and see the reflection of that at the end of the day, at the beginning of the day, like, oh, yeah, this is a day that’s gonna draw upon my quiet courage, um, I used that this morning and it, um, it recalibrated me and I think that’s one of the things we look for in real skills is that when you apply them, they’re like, Oh, I feel more myself.

[00:12:23] I do have quiet courage, not all the time, but I can recognize when I had it and I can recognize when I am, it’s being called upon. I can recognize that, honor it and, um, and feel it. I think Cathy, you were, you were thinking of leading us in a little meditation to tune into some honor where you’re willing to, I’d love to just invite you if you’re driving.

[00:12:53] Obviously, don’t close your eyes and don’t go deep because we don’t want you anything. But if you’re in a safe place to do so, I invite you to notice your body right now. And I also invite you to notice that noticing your body is a quiet act of courage. Our society does not teach us to notice our body.

[00:13:12] Many of us have resistance to the feelings that are in them. We are building up a muscle when we take a gentle deep breath, and we notice how our body feels in this moment. We are generally tuned out of it in, as we’re growing up and just tuning in. And then notice if you could shift a little bit to make yourself a little more comfortable is, could you move a pillow?

[00:13:34] Could you get a blanket? Could you just shift your weight a little bit? How could you make yourself just a little bit more comfortable? Nice. Thank you for doing that. And it is when we tune into our bodies and notice what we are actually feeling, and then give ourselves permission to adjust. That is a quiet act of courage that also can help our resiliency and creating more acts of courage because it’s Tending ourselves, self care, and that’s really important.

[00:14:03] So I’m just going to invite you, if you’d like to, just with this next breath, let your eyes gently close, knowing that you’re in a safe place, that we’ve got this container for you, that you don’t have to worry about, you know, what’s going on right now, just here and now with me. Just take a gentle breath and imagine that the breath is going all the way down to your toes.

[00:14:26] And then it’s coming back out, and it’s breathing, you’re just breathing out tensions. You’re letting yourself just relax into this moment. And really be present with your day or the last few days, whichever you like. And I’d love it if you could tune into a couple moments that really touched you. Most of us have them.

[00:14:47] We just tend to dismiss them. We say they’re not big enough or not good enough. Just let yourself be with your body and your experience. And notice You know, one or two times that you’ve made a difference for yourself or you did an act that you could have easily passed over. No one would have noticed, probably.

[00:15:07] No one would have cared, but you know it made a difference by doing it. And just see if you can tune into that and really anchor it. Notice there was no nuclear disaster that you had to save the world from. There’s probably no flying cape or, you know, news coverage for it, but you made a slight shift, a slight difference in your life and maybe the lives of other people or things around you.

[00:15:40] And then once you have something, even if you’re not sure it’s a quiet act of courage because we tend to put down, we tend to dismiss them. See if you can notice how you felt in your body when you performed that act of courage. There’s no right or wrong answer. Some of you might have felt very uncomfortable.

[00:16:00] Sometimes facing something we’re afraid of is very uncomfortable. Sometimes it feels delightful and sometimes it feels a combination, but just notice what was going on in your body when you perform the act of courage.

[00:16:22] Right? And then if it feels okay for you, imagine that that a dear friend that’s younger than you perform that act of courage. What would you say to that person? How would you encourage them or appreciate them? Like, wow, that was amazing. Thank you so much for taking care of yourself, for doing this thing.

[00:16:44] It sounds like it was maybe kind of scary and you did it anyway. Maybe it was challenging. And then offer those words to yourself. We tend not to offer beautiful words to ourselves. But if we can tune them, imagining it’s someone else, we can offer them to ourselves. And notice if you can let those words sink in.

[00:17:09] If there’s resistance, it’s okay. We can do some tapping on that. Many of us resist kindness and appreciation. Or if you let it sink in, wonderful. Celebrate that. And just know that you probably have hundreds of quiet acts of courage in the last couple days sprinkled throughout. And most of us don’t take the time to acknowledge them.

[00:17:35] When we can acknowledge some of them, we strengthen ourselves. We feel more powerful. We have more courage to create other things that we value. So if you can just really appreciate that your mind, your heart, and your body all brought you here to this moment. Or you’re appreciating something that made a difference to you somehow or someone else somehow.

[00:18:03] And then if you’d like to come back here and now, gently wiggle your toes. So that you can, you know, breathe to your feet if you’d like, and just stretch your body a little bit. If that feels good, move around, shift in your chair. And if you’d like to share in the chat, I’d love to know, we both love to know how this worked out for you.

[00:18:24] Did you have resistance to noticing where you had courage or perform something of courage? Did you have resistance to appreciating yourself or feeling your body? Um, did it feel really, did it feel good to notice and tune into yourself? We’d love to hear, and we will keep, you know, we won’t say people’s names, but we can use that to guide.

[00:18:42] We co create this together, and by hearing where you’re at and what’s, what’s alive for you, it helps us tune to, to what your needs are around this. So we’d love to hear. Did you notice anything, Rick, while we’re seeing if people want to type?

[00:19:00] When you invited us to imagine that we’d observe someone else younger, um, or different, um, having done the same thing? Like, what would we say to them? That was easy. Hey buddy, that’s a big deal. It’s really generous. It’s really caring. And it requires juggling a lot of intuition and, um, trying to anticipate needs and desires and things means less sleep.

[00:19:39] And, you know, I mean, starting your day with, um, The others, I make breakfast on Tuesdays, I’m making three breakfasts and, and three lunches, um, before the family even wakes up. And this is not my forte. Um, and, and so like, And you said, when, what did you notice when you were doing this inside of myself, I felt like I was navigating the edge between that kind of loving act of service and, Oh my God, this is so stressful.

[00:20:25] Like that. Um, yeah, I’m, I’m reminded of the video, this trail in the mountains of China. That’s about, This wide and a thousand meters off the ground and people walk it and even pass each other along the way. And I’m like, you know, like that’s sort of the, but I’m, you know, I’m putting the almond butter on the toast and I’m figuring out which half of the sandwich goes to, um, one child and which one to the other, and I’m deciding which soup, um, it doesn’t seem like that big a deal.

[00:21:05] And that’s where I noticed the other thing is like. There’s a self deprecation that kicks in for me, um, like if I was, if I was noticing someone else, if some other parent, some other father, some other mother was, was doing this. I could very easily and genuinely say, listen, that’s a big deal to feed and take care of your family, to be thoughtful that way, to, that’s a big deal.

[00:21:44] It matters. I, I’m, I, I would find it very easy to tell them, I, I appreciate you for making the world a more nourished place by taking these actions. And I feel, I feel my heart. Going out in that way, sharing it with you all is making it more real and kind of coming back to me as nourishment. And that’s what I had hoped, not just for me, but for all of us, that we can find strength together in that reflection.

[00:22:22] Are you seeing some things in the chat? Yeah, I’m seeing some great things in the chat. And I just want to acknowledge you, Rick, for sharing that. Because I think, I think for many of us, we’re not nourished, we’re not acknowledging where we’re doing Acts of Courage. And we’re not nourishing ourselves or allowing nourishment from other people to come in as fully as it is.

[00:22:42] Or even asking for it, saying, Hey, I would like some appreciation for this. Do you have some time to give me appreciation for what I just did? Those things like, it’s like we have a plant and we’re not watering it. And then we’re wondering why it’s not flourishing and doesn’t have flowers to make our lives better.

[00:22:59] Um, I think a lot of us were just trained and not to notice and acknowledge, and I see some of this in the chat. I love that someone’s practicing giving themselves grace by not scheduling tasks and appointments back to back and noticing there’s plenty of time to get things done. That’s really courageous in a society where we are taught.

[00:23:20] Go, go, go. If you’re not running full time and triple tasking and, you know, putting out a fire with one hand and, you know, dancing with the, you know, dancing while you do this other thing, like, that’s how we, our people are seen to have value in our society. I notice everyone, you say, how are you doing? Oh, I’m so busy.

[00:23:37] That’s the merit, the signal of merit. So to kind of say, you know what, that doesn’t really work for me. I’m going to not do that. I’m going to give myself some time to enjoy life. I think that is a big act of courage and I really appreciate the person who shared. Um, so if you can just let that in. Like, you’re, it may seem like a small thing, but our brains, our survival brains want to mesh with what society says.

[00:24:04] We want to know that we have status in our world. And to go against that, there’s a lot of courage involved in that. Our survival brain just does not like it. It’s like, no, no, no, conform because then they’ll like you and they’ll help you if the hyenas come. So, to me, that’s, that’s a deep act of courage, that self care.

[00:24:24] Um, someone else felt said, I feel resistance to self acknowledgment. My mind wants to minimize the steps I took. They don’t seem all that courageous to me. Like I need to go fight fire breathing dragons in order to feel truly courageous. And I totally get that. My dream, my daydreams when I was a kid were like, I was like, had a cape and I was flying over the nuclear disaster that I had just saved everyone from, and everyone in the world knew who I was.

[00:24:48] And then finally, I would be good enough to be acknowledged. Um, and I think a lot of us fire breathing dragons, you know, saving a bus full of children from going over a bridge. We have to do something huge and thankfully, most of us are not put in those positions. Um, I’m curious if you want to share why you think that you minimize.

[00:25:11] What you contribute, or you resist, um, self acknowledgement. Because I think that’s important, and I’d love to do some tapping, but I’d like to be more tuned into that, if that’s okay with you, before we do some tapping on it. Um, do you want to read some of the messages, Rick, too? Keep going. If you’re willing.

[00:25:30] Yeah, I can. Um, so, uh, someone else said I did a loving act of service to myself, which I love. I think self-care is something that our society, again, trains people out of that shall not care for themselves. Give it to everyone else. Then maybe you’ll get something back and that’s not a really good model.

[00:25:50] So again, you’re going against like probably decades of training and experience and encouragement. Oh, you’re self sacrificing. That person is so generous as opposed to like, Hey, no, I’m going to take care of myself first. I’m going to put my, my, my mask on and you know, my oxygen mask on first. Um, I think it’s really beautiful.

[00:26:10] Um, someone else shared, said it, said it felt good to anchor the good feelings. Thank you. I was able to think of a few things I did for myself for self care. But also scary things I did and accomplished. It’s definitely easier to say nice things to the fake person, other person, rather than myself. I also found myself spacing it out at the end because I think I need to relax and your calming voice made me rest for a minute.

[00:26:31] So glad you got that rest for a minute. Like we love when you’re paying attention and you’re just here is also. And that person said also yes to the self deprecation too. I’m wondering if there’s interest, I’d love to do a call just focused on self deprecation and noticing it. Because I’m noticing how much it drains me.

[00:26:50] And it’s kind of running in the background constantly. So the more we can notice it and kind of go, I’m doing this silly thing where I’m trying to stop myself. I don’t know if I’ve shared this with y’all before, but, um, I’m noticing I have a lot of rumination in my head. Oh, that was so bad. Why did you do that?

[00:27:04] Oh, should’ve done this or that. Like it goes on and on. And I’m, when I’m noticing it, I’m saying, if I’m alone, I’m, I say it out loud. If I’m not, then I say it in my head. I say aardvark. It’s like a safe word. Um, and it’s a silly word. So it gets my brain kind of thinking a little differently. And then my intention is to not continue, not to go back to that.

[00:27:23] Like, what else can I just, you know, I can’t always stop and tap at work. But like, can I focus on something else? Can I help build different neural pathways rather than building like they talk about, um, the more a neural pathway is used, it gets melanated. Basically it becomes a super highway where the neurons can move very fast and it’s hard to stop it.

[00:27:45] The more we reinforce, the more we drive down that neural path, that highway, the more we melanate and it gets more and more, they call it canalized. It’s just basically like this funnel that puts like That thought pattern gets anchored. We can build new neural pathways by stopping. We stop the car. We say, Oh, and then we take the car and we drive off the road someplace else.

[00:28:09] And maybe there’s no road yet. We have to, it may be bumpy and rough. It may be an act of courage to start driving there. But that’s a way to stop and start building a different pathway. So I’m using aardvark as a word to stop myself. And then I’m like, Oh, can I think about how good I did? Or if that’s too challenging in the moment, can I just think about, Oh, it’s a pretty spring day, or I need to call Rick later, we just don’t want to keep feeding that pathway any more than we can.

[00:28:38] If that makes sense. I’ll read the next one. I found it hard to find anything, um, that I’ve done that I did that was an act of courage until Cathy gave some examples. Then I was sure that what I found wasn’t an act of courage. Then I slowly decided it was. Thank you, Cathy, for staying with it long enough for me to realize a little.

[00:29:01] Now I feel I have some ideas to begin with. Yes. Not acknowledging acts of courage. It’s um, so there’s also in this, uh, a key point of the, so what you’ve just articulated was the skill. Oh, I’m not courageous. Well, those are some ideas I’ve done that one. Nah, that’s not courageous. Didn’t feel courageous.

[00:29:31] You know, actually. That did take something within me that my, it drew upon me, it drew upon my strength, it drew upon what matters to me. Maybe that was courage. Ah, I’m starting to get the idea that maybe these things that I’m doing that are part of being what matters and doing what matters to me actually draw upon my, my core, my essence, the things that matter.

[00:29:59] And I believe that courage, coragio, used the um, The Italian word it, it is a quality of, uh, of a heart and heartistry. If what something matters to you, um, if it matters to you to be there with your suffering friend, even though you know, you’re going to be Processing this for a while. Um, and you do it regardless of whether it all turns out okay, or whether they were obviously helped or not, I want to acknowledge if you did that in my world, that’s quiet courage in my world.

[00:30:41] When I do that, that’s quiet courage. And if I can acknowledge that in you. You acknowledge it in other people. Then what we’re doing is saying the skill set is, Hey, it, it takes emotional life force to do the things that we most value in the world. And if you’re doing that, the things that you really value, and I’m doing that, then we’re co creating a thriving world together, but if you’re doing that and you’re just like, Oh, that was nothing, that’s like cooking a meal and not eating any of it.

[00:31:22] That’s, that’s like creating something that has energetic nourishment to it, not just for the person that the act of service was toward, but also for other aspects of ourselves. Self quick care can be like, a part of me is suffering. Uh, I take care of that part of me. Uh, it, it’s helped by the taking care of the wound, and whether it’s physical or emotional or a disease or anything, when we tend to our, a part of ourselves which is suffering, there are other parts of us that have done that.

[00:32:00] For ourselves, there’s a loop there, and I know maybe that’s a little esoteric, but we’re made up of parts of us, which might be suffering or in need of healing and other parts of us that are resourced. And when we, when we complete that circuit and, and energy work. There are circuits within us, and when they’re complete, we’re circulating life force, and it gets stronger and more vibrant.

[00:32:28] It touches on the parts of us that are suffering, and it nourishes the parts of us that have, have juju. They have, Um, the capacity that gives us more abundance to also be with others as well and feel like that’s a natural thing to complete the circuit. Yeah, I think also, I wonder if some of the difficulty we have with recognizing courage is because when we see.

[00:32:57] Superheroes are people on TV. There’s kind of great music playing and you see their determination and they’re running or fighting or lifting. And it seems very dramatic. And like, we, I often imagine they feel so good that they’re able to do this thing. And yet for me, often acts of courage feel very awkward and confusing and uncertain.

[00:33:18] Like, um, just to give a silly example, I had hurt my knee last year. And so that knee is weak and I’m working with someone who’s helping me get better But she’s having me stand on this two inch mat, and I’m supposed to get better balance. And I just got this mat, just this newer, thicker mat, and she wanted me to stand on it today, and I felt really scared.

[00:33:38] Because I’ve hurt myself badly by trying to go too fast. And we worked out, like, I felt courageous because I first of all told her I was scared. I didn’t just tough it through and try to do it because she expected it. I said, I’m nervous about this. Let it, let’s put it right near the treadmill so I have something to grab onto.

[00:33:56] And then I want to start slow. I want to just stand on it with both feet, with my eyes open. And we did that, and I was a little wobbly, but I got better. And then when we, you know, had one eye closed and the other eye, then both eyes. Like. I was able to step into it and it felt awkward. I, my body felt afraid and uncertain about it.

[00:34:15] The skill set wasn’t there. And so it wasn’t this easy, graceful curve, like, Oh, courageous thing that I think I associate with courage that I see all the time on TV. Um, and that I was. Touched by someone said, um, someone shared, my sisters are really badass, courageous, and I feel less when I compare myself, I have an anxiety, I have anxiety issues and my nervous system is different, highly sensitive.

[00:34:41] What is courageous for one person is not necessarily courageous for someone else, but we’re talking about courage based on. Is this fearful? Is this nervous? Like a lot of people standing on that mat, a deer would stand on that mat and jump up and down with one foot and it’d be no problem. A lot of you could probably too.

[00:34:57] For me, I was really scared. I was going to hurt my knee again, right before I’m making a trip across to see Rick and go to go to the East coast. Um, it’s easy to compare ourselves to other people and say, oh, they’re much more courageous. Courage is not just doing something. It’s doing something we’re afraid of.

[00:35:16] That we think will do, make something better. So it’s not just, oh, I stood on the mat. 99 percent of people could stand on the mat. It was no problem. But it’s, is there, are you facing a fear and growing through it? Are you speaking up when you wouldn’t normally speak up? Are you building new neural pathways that you don’t have right now?

[00:35:40] So driving, we’re driving down the highway, it’s really easy and smooth, we have skill sets, we know everything’s marked, we know where we’re going. Stopping and driving off to create a neural neural pathway, we don’t know where there’s ditches or trees, we don’t have a good, there’s no markers, it’s really rough, um, it feels awkward.

[00:35:59] So I think sometimes, when we feel most incompetent, and most like we’re awkward and not together, Those are the moments of the deepest courage. So I try to remember my, remind myself. So if I have fingers pointing back at me as I tell you this, and maybe you’ll hear my voice or Rick’s voice saying, Hey. If you’re feeling awkward and uncertain, kind of scared, that might be an act of courage as you go forward with it.

[00:36:24] That might be a sign that you’re actually being courageous. So I just wanted to offer that.

[00:36:34] And in that part of that individual knowing and honoring, um, you know, our, our media, our entertainment, a lot of things, they’re designed to be stories that are told. The hero’s journey captured in a book and things like that. For those of us that are more internally referenced, uh, or introverted, um, sensitive processors who take things in, um, our badass looks very different.

[00:37:11] It just does. It’s, it’s more internal. It’s more aware. Um, I think to post in a chat. Um, I have anxiety issues and my nervous system is different and highly sensitive. That’s quiet courage to me to even be aware. Like I am a highly sensitive person. Um, and so the way that I process life and experiences, um, as Cathy said, Anytime you’re showing up, um, and even when you’re showing up by saying this is not okay with me, and I’m leaving by my conscious choice, um, understanding that there are repercussions, I want to make sure that, uh, courageous includes the capacity to say by leaving or not, not doing something that, um, Um, You know, it’s requiring courage.

[00:38:16] It means grounding yourself in what matters to you. Um, I, I am going to include in my definition of courage and quiet courage, where I show up where I wish life was different. It doesn’t necessarily scare me. It doesn’t even necessarily overwhelm me. But it’s like, I want to make this better. I want to be useful and helpful if I can be in this particular area that matters to me or a particular relationship that matters to me.

[00:38:53] Um, it certainly includes everything that’s survival. It includes everything that’s way outside the comfort zone. And there’s also things that like, I, I wish I didn’t have to do it. And I’m showing up for it because there’s a, a deeper. aspect that really matters to me. It’s part of my character, it’s part of my integrity, it’s part of my devotions, all these things which, um, Require what I’m calling courage energy to show up for, um, it’s even the essential nature of, of tapping.

[00:39:32] How many of us start off when you say I deeply and completely accept myself and it’s like, there’s no. No way. I completely accept myself. To know that, that takes courage. To take a step toward, I’m open to the remote possibility that I will accept a little of me. Occasionally tolerate myself a little bit.

[00:39:55] Occasionally tolerate myself. I, uh, even though I’m scared, I accept myself and my feelings. Anyway, and that’s part of the skill to is to is to acknowledge that, um, we may be having big feelings, which we’re not coping with or managing or the like very well. But if we are Bringing any kind of self acceptance, any kind of compassion for others and ourselves, any kind of empathy.

[00:40:28] Empathy is a very like, if empathy was sold on amazon. com, it could really get a premium. And yet we who are highly empathetic often are giving it out like gold pieces at that takes courage to, to give. Awareness, sometimes we like we don’t have a choice, meaning it’s like, Whoa, I’m so aware of that. And I didn’t see that coming.

[00:40:56] Um, even being that kind of person in the world, not just hiding in a cave somewhere, um, to me, every time you show up with some empathy, um, everything, every time you, you respond, uh, in any way. Rather than react to me that that was the fundamental thing about what would what was going to require the most quiet courage was to shift myself from being in reaction that primitive brain like, Okay, here you do this, this, this suck it up, suck it up, suck it up, worry, worry, worry, suck it up, um, to how do I choose to respond from what matters to me?

[00:41:41] Is that someone said, like, is that like a big deal? If you asked old Rick, um, many decades past, he wouldn’t necessarily understand the question, but for those of us that have been doing that work, this work, you know, how much energy and life force it can take to even be with, okay, I’m having this reaction.

[00:42:06] I’m terrified. I need to change my underwear. I’ll go do that. And then I’m going to call myself enough to get my clarity. Okay. What matters to me? What’s my yes. That’s not a yes. What’s my yes. All those fall into this, um, aura of quiet courage that I see in, in, in you all and the experiences that I get to witness and share with you.

[00:42:36] I want to just emphasize one thing you said where it’s the, the, the, the. Presence, you’re present with the choices and then make a conscious choice. I think some people just are reactive. They’re like, Oh, I got to get this done. I’m just going to dive off the cliff and figure out how to do it to me. That that’s, it does sometimes take courage, but it’s more a reaction than a.

[00:42:56] I’m gonna take a, I’m choosing to take a small step and then back out if it feels right, I’m choosing to say no. I’m choosing to say yes. That’s, to me, that’s a much more conscious, and that’s something I want to foster in myself, where it’s not a reactive, I must get this done. I’m adrenaline drive diving, forcing myself through something.

[00:43:15] I’m gonna move through it with, with presence. Um, someone also shared that they discovered a few months ago the root cause of their inability to accept recognition or presence from others, that it was very insightful. And I just want to acknowledge, sometimes recognizing a block or the cause of a block can take a lot of courage.

[00:43:34] Our brain will often bury that, because it doesn’t want to look at it. It’s like, like, oh, don’t look over here, pay attention, don’t look at the man behind the curtain, like, Keep going, doing what you’re doing, because it’s kind of working, we’re surviving. And taking a breath and saying, Huh, I wonder why?

[00:43:50] Just even noticing, I have a pattern of not letting this in, or not acknowledging something, or not Someone gives me a gift and I’m like, really uncomfortable. Wow, I’m noticing a pattern, and then I’m looking for the, I’m being present with myself to identify the root cause. That, to me, takes a lot of courage, and that’s a big part of healing, is can I slow down enough to notice a pattern that’s not working for me, and then gently identify why I’m doing that, and then work at changing that.

[00:44:19] That’s, that’s transformation right there. And it’s something I value very highly. So I appreciate the courage that person brought to that. And for all of you that are doing this kind of work, someone said, you know, this lands for me. I tend to wait to give myself love, uh, for courage when I am quote successful, or just move on to the next goal without acknowledging or pausing.

[00:44:43] Um, being aware of that is courage. And as Cathy said, There’s a, an opportunity for recalibrating. And that’s, that’s part of the skill is like, Oh, okay. So maybe I picked up this idea, tap, tap, tap, cough, cough, cough. That, um, yeah, it has to be a big success. It has to be something that, you know, woohoo celebration.

[00:45:16] Um, it has to be the achieving of a major goal. It has to be. It has to be. Have you noticed that language? Um, there’s a concept for, for me in, in thriving and emotional freedom, that it’s an infinite flow. It’s an infinite game. And rather than we won, um, celebrate and then go to practice the next day, Um, there’s a, a quality of in the moment, in the now, what am I noticing about myself?

[00:45:51] So if, if there’s, there’s often a transition time, if we’ll let it, that can be short, it might be 15 minutes, it might be 15 seconds, as we go from thing to thing, where Acknowledging, um, why courage is one of the things that I want to acknowledge more of. So we’re doing a workshop, um, redefining success as am I.

[00:46:25] Am I being what matters to me imperfectly, but am I being what matters to me and are the things that I’m doing congruent with that? And for me, where I used to just like, it was always a success that was down the road. I’ll celebrate later. A mirage, you might call it, the mirage of success. Um, there was a recognition that, um, recalibrating around, Hey, at the end of the day, if a day is a unit for humans, and it is, um, at the end of the day, if we were to reflect on our life of that day, those precious moments, um, what would nourish us?

[00:47:24] And I, I had an opportunity to do that. What? And that took courage. That took some, some quiet courage to be present with that situation, with that person, with that challenge. And I did. And yeah, I dysregulated for a while, but I, I came back. I’m here now. I’m recognizing that, um, I’m practicing this skill.

[00:47:56] I’m developing this awareness in me. Um, it’s not as, it’s, it’s, it’s not as Harry Potter as, as, um, you know, uh, other ways of living the hero’s journey where it’s things get worse and worse and worse and worse and worse. And then something good happens and everybody lives happily ever after, um, for thriving now, and now, and now this model of, um, recognition and mutual recognition.

[00:48:33] And Cathy is really just so masterful at this. You know, she, she’s, she’s really good at pointing me toward,

[00:48:50] it’s really challenging to be three and a half years old, recognizing, you know, the quiet courage and sometimes very loud courage that, um, that my daughter Adira, Has to be with and also then also including me like, and to be with that is to show up for it to, you know, and, and she did that for me yesterday and today.

[00:49:20] Um, but yesterday after that, I was able to, um, go and take Adira to a playground. And there was this really cool area that, um, uh, I wanted her to try. And. When she got on it, it was, I could see her before she got on it really reflecting like, okay, do I have the courage to go forward? And I put up my hand and.

[00:49:55] I supported her, but as soon as she stepped on this one part, it started moving a lot more than either of us expected. And there was a navigation with courage and also that it’s courageous. I was holding the space of you’re doing something really on the edge of your capability. And for me, I’m on the, you know, I’m holding you.

[00:50:20] This is edgy for both of us, but we made a decision about halfway through. Hey, this isn’t working. And I could feel us both having the courage to let it go. Like, Hey, this is, this looks like it’s for older kids. And, um, I felt really good about that. I felt really good about, um, navigating where I can recognize and reflect and give to other people that I care about a recognition that even to consider it.

[00:50:58] I know that I’ve repeated this, but to, to even consider doing something requires courage. We all know that. Um, and. To take a few steps to feel for the support that’s there or not there, the unsteadiness that’s there or not there, to sometimes climb all the, she climbed the beanstalk, which, you know, was 12 feet, 12 feet tall, at least, um, she had to find her way up.

[00:51:27] She did it very cautiously. There were options to opt out. Um, and when she got to the top, there was that success. Um, but my celebration, um, was along the way, getting to the top was not the end point, I would not have been disappointed if she had back like, just like I wasn’t disappointed when she backed down from the other thing.

[00:51:54] Um, And so that’s, I invite us to explore the opportunity to look at ourselves and look at others with this. This filter of where’s their quiet courage being demonstrated in our world, and sometimes it’s louder than others. Um,

[00:52:20] I think we should probably take our break because we’ve been up to when we come back to some tapping on some of the blocks. And just as you’re going to your break, I’d like to invite you to consider that appreciating yourself and celebrating is an act of courage for many of us. It’s not something we’re good at, it’s not something we’re comfortable with.

[00:52:40] So maybe it’s something we can build muscles on by practicing that quiet act of courage as well. All right. Starting the recording. Welcome back. Cathy, would you like to lead us in some tapping and? Yeah. I would love to just, first I’d love to tune into courage. First, if that’s okay. Last night, Rick shared a story with me that Adira was very upset.

[00:53:06] It was a disaster because she could not find her squish bear. She was very, very upset. Squish bear is very important to her. Um, and she was probably pretty. overwhelmed. Often when we’re doing something new, we’re facing something that requires courage. We don’t have the experience of being able to handle it.

[00:53:26] Adira hasn’t had experiences where, you know, like, things were okay. Couldn’t find Squish Bear for a couple days and everyone survived. She doesn’t have that neural pathway of understanding that a disaster is relative and that most of us get through them. And, you know, Often when we’re doing things that require acts of courage, we don’t have the neural pathways that make it simple and easy to do them.

[00:53:49] After a while, we do them enough times. They become pretty routine for many of us. We don’t have to think about them. When I first started public speaking, I was so terrified. Now I can get in front of all of you and very easily share very vulnerable things. I have the neural pathways and the experience that even if I make a horrible mistake, these are very kind people.

[00:54:07] I can correct it. Um, we can go on. But many of us. When we face something new, it’s like we don’t have that squish bear, we’ve lost our comfort, our sense of safety. And so if we can just kind of put it in, I’m trying to use that analogy, because for many of us, we’ve understood that if we lose our comfort bear or our blankie, Most of us have survived and things are okay, but for a little kid, they don’t have that pathway.

[00:54:34] So I just want to invite you as you’re trying this on, maybe you can give yourself a little compassion, understanding that your brain is kind of dealing like squish bears missing. Like this is a disaster. The world is ending and our brain gets really scared. And when we can kind of calm it down and say, you know, it’s okay.

[00:54:52] It’s all right. We’re gonna just take a baby step and the world is going to be okay. Um, that can help us. Take the steps forward that we’d like to try. So I just want to just invite you to tap a little bit on just what current, like allowing courage. So if you’d like to take a gentle, deep breath,

[00:55:11] karate chop, even though this feels pretty scary, even though this feels pretty scary and I’m not sure I’ll succeed and I’m not sure I’ll succeed. What if it’s going to be okay anyway? What if it’s going to be okay anyway? This feels so awkward. This feels so awkward. I feel incompetent. I feel incompetent.

[00:55:36] But what if I’m building new muscles, even as I try? What if I’m building new muscles, even as I try? What if I’m building new muscles, Top of the head. I’m allowed to take baby steps. I’m allowed to take baby steps. I’m allowed to say no. I’m allowed to say no. Side of the eye. And I’m also allowed to take some steps forward that are very awkward.

[00:56:00] And I’m allowed to take steps forward that are really awkward. Under the eye. Courage often is very awkward. Courage is often very awkward. Under the nose, it’s sometimes very uncomfortable. Sometimes very uncomfortable. And building new neural pathways is like clear cutting of a path. Ah,

[00:56:26] I’m just feeling that instead of saying it. Okay. Collarbone, it’s going to be awkward and uncomfortable sometimes. I’m going to be awkward and uncomfortable. I’m going to be, I mean, I’ve survived awkward and uncomfortable before. I definitely have survived awkward and uncomfortable before. Top of that, I don’t have to do it all at once.

[00:56:47] I do not have to do it all at once. And I give myself permission to take those courageous steps. And I give myself permission and invitation to take courageous steps. Yeah, just take a breath, and if you notice when you’re contemplating something that’s a little bit scary, and your brain, uh, Like my survival brain can get very upset over things that are new.

[00:57:10] It’s like, Oh my God, this is going to be the end of the world. Oh, it’s like a deer with her squish bear. It’s probably going to be okay. I have survived many, many years without a squish bear. Um, I didn’t have a particular, I had rabbits, a stuffed rabbit, but it helps me normalize. And so I just wanted to offer that to you.

[00:57:30] Um, I thought it’d be good to do some tapping on the resistance to acknowledging our own courage. Do you want to lead that or would you like me to? Keep going if you’d like. All right. So again, I invite you, if you can practice being in your body, we keep coming back to that because it’s a really fundamental skill.

[00:57:49] We want to build really strong neural pathways for you in that when you face something new, you take a deep breath, you feel your butt in the seat, your feet on the floor, and now you can. from a very different angle. So I, we repeat that because it’s so fundamental to having a really present life. So karate chop.

[00:58:11] I don’t always see my courage. I do not always see my courage. In fact, I seem to have a lot of resistance to acknowledging my courage. I have a lot of resistance to acknowledging my courage. I tend to put it down. I tend to put it down. Make it smaller. Make it smaller. But that’s not very encouraging.

[00:58:35] That’s not very encourage ing. It’s also not very accurate. And it’s not very accurate. Top of the head. I wouldn’t do that to someone else. I would not do that to someone else. Eyebrow. I would encourage them. I would encourage them. Side of the eye. I would appreciate them. Appreciate them. Under the eye. And maybe I’m kind of tired of treating myself like a second class citizen.

[00:59:03] And maybe I’m really tired of treating myself like a second class citizen. Under the nose. I don’t have the pattern of acknowledging myself. I do not have the pattern of acknowledging myself. Chin, that doesn’t mean I can’t build it. Doesn’t mean I can’t build it. Collarbone, what if I practiced that as a quiet act of courage?

[00:59:24] What if I practice that as a quiet act of courage? Under the arm it’s very uncomfortable to acknowledge myself. It’s very uncomfortable to acknowledge myself. Top of the head, and I’m going to start doing it more now. And I’m going to start doing it more. Now, I invite you to just take a breath and notice what comes up.

[00:59:47] You made a declaration if you’re tapping along or if you said the words, or if you thought about saying the words, some part of your system is going to be responding. So there might be like a hell yeah, I want to do that. And there, and there might be at the same moment, there might be a, Oh no, that’s scary.

[01:00:01] Bad things are going to happen. If you notice. What that association is, the resistance, that’s a really powerful thing. Our brain will often go to a point where we learn this. There’s, um, a trigger point. At some point our brain decided, our evolving childlike brain, decided that I should not appreciate myself.

[01:00:25] Maybe it was a time you were feeling really good about yourself and your mom’s like, don’t get too big for your britches. Or your, your dad said, Oh, that’s not very important. Or I don’t, you know, like he diminished, diminished it or either teacher or someone around you taught you there’s a moment when your brain decided it’s just better not to appreciate myself.

[01:00:45] And so I like to, I love tapping on that because I think when we tap on the, it’s a leverage point, we go back to the point where we put it, we put that into our head We have a lot more leverage and it kind of goes forward. So if you’re willing to tap a little bit with me and fill in the blanks for yourself, like if there’s a, if you remember yourself in a very particular situation, tune into that.

[01:01:06] If you’re not sure, just let the words kind of go. Your system will put them in the right place for you. Karate chop. Even though I learned long ago. Even though I learned long ago. Not to appreciate myself. Not to appreciate myself. They did not like it. They did not like it. They put me down. Put me down.

[01:01:28] They made me feel really bad. They made me feel really bad. So I didn’t really trust my judgment anymore. I didn’t trust my judgment anymore. I didn’t feel safe to appreciate myself. I didn’t feel safe to appreciate myself. And they probably had their reasons. Yeah. And they probably had their reasons. Top of the head, I’m not sure they were very good reasons.

[01:01:53] I’m not feel, I don’t feel like it was very good reason. Eyebrow, it was probably something they learned too. It’s probably something they learned too. Side of the eye. That’s not an heirloom I want to pass down. Not an heirloom I want to pass down. Under the eye. I choose to notice that I was once very good at appreciating myself.

[01:02:18] Hmm. And if that doesn’t feel true, you don’t have to say it. You can just notice that doesn’t feel true. Under the nose, maybe I never got a chance to learn how to appreciate myself. Maybe I never got a chance to learn how to appreciate myself. Around certain things. But now I’m pretty, I’m a pretty smart person.

[01:02:39] Hmm. I’m a pretty smart person, savvy person. Yeah, I bet I could learn. I bet I could learn. I might even be learning now. Yeah, I’m at the arm. And I send appreciation and permission back to that younger self. I send appreciation and permission back to my younger self. On top of that, I allow you to notice yourself.

[01:03:03] I allow you to notice yourself. And I encourage you to appreciate yourself. Encourage you to appreciate yourself. And just take a breath.

[01:03:16] See if that part of you that whatever decided that appreciation wasn’t safe, if they maybe shifted a little bit. And as Rick often talks about, we only have to change from a 10 to a 9. 9 to end up in a different place. So if it was a 10, I can never appreciate myself. And now it’s a 9. 9. There’s some air in the system.

[01:03:36] Things can start percolating. We can start getting, we can start building traction around it. Um, so, and here’s the analogy. If I wanted to fly from New York, I was flying from New York to Las Vegas, and I didn’t want to go to Las Vegas. If I changed the trajectory 1%, I’m going to end up someplace very different.

[01:03:53] So just by doing a little bit of tapping on that and kind of considering it, it does give your system a little more leeway on that.

[01:04:05] Let’s tune in for a moment around the two words. Discourage and courage. When we feel discouraged, right? There’s a, there’s a loss. of, of courage. When we discourage someone from following their guidance, from feeling a certain way, um, what are we doing? We’re, we’re taking them out of their life force to encourage is to help and calibrate ourselves to be in our courageousness, in our courage, encouraged.

[01:04:52] I’m embodying courage. I know what matters to me. I’m doing things that matter to me. If emotional vulnerability matters to me, and I am, I choose to share something like that, I don’t, to me, I encourage you to be in that. Um, I encourage myself, I recognize myself that, that was an important shift for me to, to be encouraged, to be emotionally real, to be emotionally accepting, aware, accepting, and to adapt from a place of like, okay, what matters to me and what fits my choice of, and to take inspired action.

[01:05:35] I’m encouraging myself to take inspired action. And as Cathy says, well, That first reaction might be fear. To encourage ourselves, I believe, goes to, yeah, it’s scary as It’s scary. It’s hard. And what matters to me here is this, and you’ve, this is the skill I practice when it’s scary hard. Um, is what we do with energy work, even though this is scary.

[01:06:12] That’s not saying it’s not scary. We don’t go, even though it’s scary, it’s not really scary. That would be. What? No, no, wait a second. Even though it’s scary and hard, this feels like such a yes for me because, and if, as you get to know your, what matters to you, because this person matters to me or making, adding even just a little sliver of kindness or generosity in this situation just feels like what’s, I can’t imagine not doing that.

[01:06:48] I’m encouraging myself. Um, it’s not necessarily rah, rah, win the game, go for it, buddy, you know, just do it. That kind of encouragement doesn’t actually land with me. Um, the, the deeper, Hey, I know this matters to you, Cathy. And I know that it’s hard. I’m hearing in your words that this is really hard. I just, I want you to know that you, you matter to me, and I’m wanting you to, to feel, um, free to share about what’s going on for you.

[01:07:30] Um, it works internally. It works in certain relationships. Especially when we deepen it, like I want to support the courage that I notice in you as you go through this part of your life. Um, and, and, and to explore the wisdom in that and this, and the, the possibilities, we don’t have a lot of time left. If there’s something else that you’d like us to specifically tap on, please put that in the chat.

[01:08:12] I wanted to share a place where Someone said, it feels like my whole life right now takes quiet courage.

[01:08:25] I have, I’ve been there and I’ve been blessed in my professional work to, to get to meet people who really that’s true. If you look at their whole ecosystem.

[01:08:45] It reminds me of somebody who bought a big plot of land and it had been really decimated by over agriculture and everything else. And you look at that and it’s like, wow, there’s not, the water’s not good. Oil’s not good. The nothing’s good as in flourishing. evaluation of like, look, we’re more in survival and recasting.

[01:09:16] Um, it’s, it’s tender to me to know that I, I, people have shared that. And I, if that’s where you are, I hope you can feel a, an acknowledgement that if you’re in our world, particularly if you’re on this call, if you’re listening to this workshop. And that’s true for you, that quiet courage is needed from morning to night, and in the middle of the night when you wake up and when you, um, uh,

[01:09:59] yeah. I’ll. How human, how beautiful. I, I wish for your thriving so that the quiet courage is less about survival and more about the courage of thriving. Um, I wish that for all of us. One thing I’ve noticed when I’ve been in those moments where I’m really struggling, or I’ve had months or years where it felt like I wasn’t getting anywhere.

[01:10:29] As long as I kept showing up, doing some tapping and doing some self care, a lot was going on beneath the surface. So it didn’t seem like my life was changing very much, but I kept going forward. And then often there’d be an inflection point and things would start pulling together. All the work I did came together.

[01:10:46] So I just offer that in case it’s something that offers you hope or, or ease. Because there are times when things are just it doesn’t feel like we’re slogging through mud and it seems like the marsh is never gonna end. It’s like, am I getting anywhere? What’s happening? But a lot can often be happening beneath the surface.

[01:11:07] Things are healing and pulling together on a microscopic level. And our system is learning how to do this so I can do it more efficiently and kind of grow out of whatever we’re stuck in.

[01:11:21] Someone said that they’re overwhelmed by the whole concept. Um, and also same person who said that quiet courage is being demanded all the time. Um, that’s a challenging, this is a challenging energy. To, um, if I if it takes a lot of my life force just to put myself together and I know I I really have to in order to survive.

[01:11:50] Um, it can feel overwhelming to shift out of that even for five minutes. But this is I’m not saying to anyone that you have to, but trying on the notion of appreciating your quiet courage, and this is how I might do it, even though it was really hard to pull myself together. Even though it was really hard to pull myself together.

[01:12:20] And I do not feel like I have myself together. And I do not feel like I have myself together. My survival matters to me. My survival matters to me. And I’m acknowledging and respecting the courage it takes. And I’m acknowledging and respecting the courage it takes each day. It takes courage each day. It takes courage each day.

[01:12:48] Eyebrow, it takes. Courage each day. It takes courage each day. And sometimes my tank is empty. Sometimes my tank is empty. And I show a lot of courage. And I show a lot of courage. And my inner experience is pretty scared and overwhelmed at times. And my inner experience is kind of scared and overwhelmed at times.

[01:13:13] And it takes courage to even acknowledge that. It takes courage to even acknowledge that.

[01:13:30] And then allowing yourself to settle a bit. Um, and again, my, I believe the quiet courage when we’re in it, there’s a, there’s a rising of our courage and then there’s a, like the inhale and the exhale using our courage, inhaling, uh, a quality of recognition.

[01:14:06] My, my partner when she had her first child, um, the level of quiet courage and, and profound courage required, um, at that time for a variety of reasons I’ll keep private. Um, but she knew that, that doing it on her own was depleting her strength and through a variety of things, she ended up meeting with, uh, another mother who was also challenged.

[01:14:45] And what they would do is, well, there’s a lot of things that they would have loved to have been able to do for each other. Um, what they did do regularly was if they had 15 minutes or half hour an hour, they would split the time. So if they had 20 minutes, they might say eight minutes each. One would go first and the other person would make supportive noises.

[01:15:20] Hmm. Oh. Yeah, legitimately, like they’re both supportive people, but it wasn’t about like a dialogue. It was a witnessing, a recognition. And then there might be a little, little short dialogue and then the other person’s turn. Um, I remember, uh, a before and after, um, uh, we, I was friends with her at the time.

[01:16:03] And I remember, um, Uh, seeing her before she got together for one of those sharings and after, and they were like a different person. It felt like in the witnessing, there was a return of energy back to self. This is what is going on for me. This is what’s being demanded, like drawn from me. Um, these are the ways that I’m showing up and the ways that I’m not able to show up.

[01:16:38] Um,

[01:16:42] and in that courageous sharing, there was a return of chi, of energy. And as part of the skill set, I, I believe, you know, some people do this with their spirit buddy. They do it in prayer. They do it in their journal. I call Rick. I’m going to do this scary thing. If I don’t call you back in 20 minutes, call the ambulance or something.

[01:17:10] So, um, they’re, uh, I have a good friend that has, they’re listening rock. And I just go and talk to the rock and I’m

[01:17:25] adding the conscious aspect of what am I being right now? Am I, am I being courageous? And again, my simple definition of courageous is, are, are you acting in any way in congruent with what matters to you? Whether it’s scary, hard, impossible, you know, even making a choice. Like I just don’t have the energy to do this.

[01:17:57] Um, to me, that falls into

[01:18:04] courageous act, courageous choices. Um, I

[01:18:15] just, I want to say, if you feel confused or overwhelmed by the concept of quiet courage or appreciating yourself or receiving the appreciation, please don’t use that as an excuse to beat yourself up. If you are confused, you are building new neural pathways. You are off the highway that is, was taking you where you didn’t want to go.

[01:18:34] So confusion, while it never feels good to me, and every time I’m like, no, no, no, no, no, bad. It’s actually a sign that you’re doing something. You’re outside your comfort zones. It’s actually a very positive sign. And I’m trying to re anchor that for myself, so I’m reminding myself as much as you. If you feel confused, being with that confusion, even if it’s for, you know, 10 seconds or half an hour or whatever you’re doing, however much you can tolerate, and even that might be a second, you are building something new.

[01:19:04] That is a quiet act of courage. Just being with the confusion and saying, I don’t understand this. That’s an act of courage in itself. So I just want to try to anchor that for you.

[01:19:20] Thank you, Cathy. Thank you all. We’ve reached the end of our allotted time for now, but I want you to know that, uh, the dialogue continues. Uh, we are wisdom explorers together. We want to be thriving, um, and yeah, surviving too. Um, we want to be able to express our artistry. We have a number of places where you can do that.

[01:19:42] We have a group program called the Thriving Now Circle, thrivingnow. com slash circle. And you’re invited to check that out. It is an opportunity to do more interactive work together in our, in our small circle. We also have a free community center, ThrivingNow. Center, and the replay is there. Um, and also opportunity for you to share your ahas, questions, your own wisdom, how you Ask for appreciation, acknowledgement.

[01:20:14] Ask for appreciation and acknowledgement. Please, you are So invited to ask for what is helpful to you and supportive for your, your thriving. And thank you for the ideas. We, we love ideas for these real skills, workshops, things that are useful and that when applied, , and help us feel more emotionally free and thriving.

[01:20:41] , you all rock. Great job today. Thanks Cathy. Thanks everyone. Go be courageous. Bye.

[01:20:49] ​

Great to have you on this journey with us!

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So thankful for this topic today. So timely and valuable. The words spoken at the beginning. My answers were yes. The brief meditation- I will be revisiting regularly. The tapping at the end- instantaneously elicited surprising and totally unexpected tears. Again, I will revisit this.
All the support and tapping and exploration in the middle, healing and helpful and opening. Will revisit all of it.
Thank you both, Rick and Cathy. And thank you to the participants for the honesty that brought things up that are so important to me too… Love the courage and kindness and the hat!!

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