CAN they be pleased?
Some people can’t. Some people won’t. Some (rare) people intentionally manipulate by almost never being pleased by what we do and who we are.
A part of me feels really pissed about that.
A (wiser) part of me knows that is human reality and wants to be immune to falling into the trap of People Pleasing anyway.
That takes skill. It’s a skill I practice every day.
I’m imagining that if you’re engaging on this topic, you actually like pleasing people… just not at your own expense.
I’m guessing you’ve run into people who “never seem pleased with you.” What happens to your behavior when you engage with such mostly unpleasable people?
A common reaction in me is, “Oh no! What can I do to make this better?!?”
Uhhh, there’s both love and fear mixed in with that reaction.
“Well, fine, I’m outta here!” – That “flee” response can be there, too.
“You NEVER appreciate me!!!” – Gut check. Heart hurt. The fight reflex is triggered!
Looking at my life, I’ve seen myself stretch to extremes to do things I never thought I’d do in order to gain someone’s approval – that they would finally be pleased with me. Ugh.
That behavior can be shifted.
We ground first in awareness:
- Can this person actually be pleased?
- What would being pleased look and sound like to me?
- Am I staying in my YES… or am I compromising myself to try and please them right now?
There’s tapping to be done to calm ourselves about being “unpleasing.” Most of us have specific and life-segment traumas where being “unpleasing” (despite our best efforts!) was unsafe emotionally… or physically.
This workshop we’re doing is designed to help us all ground, together, in ways to strengthen our core clarity and guidance. If someone can’t actually be pleased, right now or EVER, how do we want to integrate that reality in our nervous system and psyche?
Cathy and I are excited to do this with you!
It’s possible to embrace our own delight in being pleasing and agreeable without falling into the trap of being a People Pleaser.
Replay is below
P.S. Our Circle Membership - now available for
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Circle Members get all Real Skills Workshops (and much more)!
Rick & Cathy
Your Emotional Freedom Coaches
P.S. Adira says, “I love pleasing my Da-Da! Just not at my own expense… and I will shriek as necessary!”
