Being open to feedback does not mean you swallow the other′s impressions of you as the truth. It means letting the feedback in and letting it have an impact on you. Listening to feedback is different from agreeing with it or taking it on. You weigh it against other things you have seen in yourself and in the person delivering the feedback and against other peoples′ feedback on the same issue. You are the one who decides whether or not to make any changes based on what you have heard. - Susan Campbell, *Getting Real
Open to feedback doesn’t mean we have to accept it as something we need to change (or even that it’s accurate).
Weigh it – Discern – how does this fit with what I’ve noticed about myself when I am regulated and aware of my energy and behaviors?
If you decide to cultivate a change… is it even possible for you? (we sometimes expect perfection, which is silly and unrealistic). Is it a change that makes you feel more like Yourself, how you’d like to walk in freedom and presence in the world?
The third point feels really core for me… and sometimes hard.
I’ve gotten advice from people who really want my Thriving. They see, for example, that something like gliding scale diminishes my perceived value in some people’s eyes.
That’s true. I know some potential clients who I could really help bounce off when they see an hourly charge that starts at “only” $75 (and goes to “only” $180). Some peers of mine in the profession charge $300/session and up.
Do I follow their suggested change? No.
Because it is a conscious choice to allow for more financial flexibility for my engagements. While people who feel that price = worth are turned OFF, people who know in their core that their worth isn’t determined by what they choose (or are able) to pay are tuned IN.
So it isn’t just about swallowing criticism. It is also about discerning what is really right for YOU, even if the advice would be useful for someone… someone ELSE.
What’s some advice or criticism you’ve gotten that might be really useful and wise for someone else, but it doesn’t fit you? I’d love to engage around this together.