Well as you know that I love heavy metal and rock n roll. So here’s a little something that I’ve grind on for days…! So much fun practicing and playing this…! Woohooo!! haha watch if you can appreciate it!
Look at those fingers!! You have Jimi Hendrix/Robert Johnson size fingers…like big spiders crawling over the neck…you were genetically designed by nature to play guitar!!
I can see how developed your technique is and how solid and natural your sense of rhythm is. I can hear and see all the hours of practice and Heartistry you have put into your musicianship. You have a very nice relaxed physical connection with the guitar. Good stuff Jun Rong. I’m waiting for a vid with a new Telecaster and some blues…lol.
Jun Rong!!! What talent you have!!! Those fingers !!! I cannot imagine memorizing this much less moving fingers up and down the neck with the speed that you do. Wow!! Thank you for sharing and YES I listened to the whole song with my mouth agape thinking how are you able to do this! Wow!!!
@Glenn yees!! Haha, my guitar teacher also said that I have the hands of Paul Gilbert xD and yes! Blues is so my thing too! I’ve just gotten my MIM telecaster from a second hand dealer. But it’s always a massive struggle to make such a big purchase… the major downside that I have with it is that it is rather heavy, like almost a 4kg! And I seem to just keep beating myself up that like y’know, I didn’t gave it more thought, and I just gave in to the seller’s deal in order to make both of us happy… and we’ll, this isn’t my first time struggling so much with this. For any kind of big purchases, there’s always that intense fear that I would get the wrong item and get myself into trouble for that (especially from my mum)… x( but anyways, I know that my taste may evolve and I may eventually like it, but maybe I still wouldn’t. But it’s a part of the learning journey isn’t it? I’m just so hung up with my mistakes and blowing it up, especially this. This is… well extra painful :\
@Angelsloveyou Thank you!!! Thank you for listening to it though! Haha I’m happy that such craft can be appreciated even by you
You’re not alone…I’ve been through that feeling many, many times myself. It’s called ‘buyer’s remorse’. It’s really great that you’re very aware of how and why this happens for you. I’ve learned that, for me, the remedy is to first Pause and notice how I’m feeling in the moment of considering the purchase…identify that feeling. The ‘Yes/No’, ‘Stop/Go’ is in that feeling. Is it the familiar feeling that leads to what you describe below?:
If it is then Pause and get Clarity and remind yourself that you’re in control of the direction this goes in…and that’s how it should be…you are in control of your money.
‘Step back’…which you can actually do physically as well as emotionally…I’ve made up excuses like “I have to go out to my car for a second…I’ll be right back” or change the topic of discussion for a moment “Hey! That’s a pretty cool jacket you’re wearing…where did you get that” and in that time I’ll be checking in with my ‘Yes/No’, ‘Stop/Go’ feelings which can be easier to do with a little distance from the negotiation.
Pause and imagine 5 minutes into the future, as if you had already made the purchase…how does that feel?
Those are the sort of moves I make when in that situation. I don’t always get it ‘right’ and when I don’t it’s because I didn’t listen and respond to the numerous communications I was getting from myself. That feeling sucks for sure.
And if the seller desires to feel happy then that’s within his control regardless of the decision you make. Your decision and his happiness are not related. This is not a ‘Cause and Effect’ relationship. You might decide to buy the item and the seller still may walk away unhappy…that’s not within your control. If it is within your control then you have amazing super powers…
I’d love to see a video of you playing some blues with the Tele Jun Rong!! When you get time…
It’s so painful…! And this is probably another one of the weak links in me. I can’t get over my mistakes, and it’s less on the flaws of the guitar. It’s me and my intentional mistake of giving in that I can’t live with. I always give in for the sake of others and taking care of myself is the hefty task. I just feel so upset with myself that I wasn’t able to stop myself from doing the thing that does not matter to me, which in this case, was getting a guitar that I probably wouldn’t like…
And this is obviously not the first time this has happened. The first serious guitar that I bought 2 years started surfacing its problems after I started playing with it more and more. Dead and uneven frets, uneven nut distance, trem block screwed in a slanted angle and a busted tight af truss rod that refused to turned etc. I was a huge sinking feeling everytime I uncovered a “problem” with it. But yet, I would never have known about these issues, until I’ve experienced them. Logically, I know that all these ‘imperfect’ experiences with flawed guitars are what helped in shaping my taste, to eventually find the guitar that suits me best eventually. But it seems to me that it’s the mistakes that I hang on to very tightly, as though my life is ruined because of all these ‘imperfect’ choices.
But yet, who I am today, in terms of my purchase choices are shaped by what I was told repeatedly, that
- every purchase decision need to matter as money is hard to come by, and getting someone that does not matter to you is just a waste of money
- Don’t spend too much time thinking about your decisions, you may end up as someone indecisive and never getting things done.
- You should be protecting myself, does what matters to you the most. If you don’t, you’ve only have yourself to blame, especially when your inaction/action to give into your rights is your sole responsibility.
But yes, I’ve been reflecting on what you’ve said, @Glenn . Finding my “yes/no” is so crucial when I’m always thrown with doubt, questioning and critique of my choices such as I’m always unwilling to commit and live with consequences. And pausing…! I wish I could trust my clarity a bit more each day, and when I do, pause becomes a lot easier, since now I always rely on others for their best opinions about me. I find it so hard to stand on my own 2 feet so many times.
I want to be able to say “yes, I’ve given in. And I’m ashamed. But this is just a chapter, an experience. I can pause and I can breathe in to find greater clarity in my choices each day, and that my experience can eventually shape who I am and who I want to be even more closely. I may give in many times, and lose money and still make “imperfect” choices, but there are good reasons for giving in, and I choose to honour why I put others before myself, even if the world thinks I’m an absolute weakling for doing so.”
But thanks Glenn, a lot of great thoughts that I want to work towards, though I’m probably not ready for such a leap in those directions yet.
And well, we’ll see! Currently I feel so ashamed with my purchase decision so I’m gonna just hide the guitar away until I feel comfortable enough to pick it up! And if it still doesn’t work, my safe exit would be selling to another person that gives it more playtime, and find myself one that suits me more!
I like how you are reframing your “shame” feelings to new ideas. This is a process I am tuning into also. About feeling ashamed or mad at myself to seeing my choices in different ways of looking at them. Like how would I know for sure something was a no unless I tried it and either it didn’t work out the way I’d hoped or I discovered something else? Then I try that something else until hopefully I feel a YES! So YES to finding yourself a guitar that suits you more. How would you really know unless you tried this one or that one?
I’m sorry you’re feeling those hard feelings…I have some experience with that myself and I don’t like it…
I was laying in bed this morning thinking about what you had written and something Rick had said came into my mind (a concept that I have been considering since he spoke of it) and I like the way it applies to situations like you find yourself in at the moment. Rick spoke about how it’s important to him to ‘close the loop’ on an interaction, an intention or a promise or a discussion. So, to me, that means not leaving things ‘hanging’ or ‘open ended’. For example, if I say I’m going to call you, and you are expecting that call from me, then I have the feeling that I should call you…that ‘closes the loop’. If I don’t call you then you may want to call me and ‘close the loop’. Otherwise we can be left with that vague feeling that something wasn’t finished…a feeling of being unsettled. And the more important that ‘something’ is the bigger and more uncomfortable that feeling will be, in my experience. For me it feels like emotional feng shui.
So, how does this apply to the situation you are in? Well, sometimes it’s a good thing to open a closed loop when appropriate. For example, the emotional circumstances you currently find yourself in feels to me like a closed loop. You participated in a series of events and as a result you’ve arrived at a hard conclusion about yourself. That, to me, feels like a closed loop the way you’ve described it. And it very likely ‘loops’ around in your thoughts that way…replaying the events that led to that particular emotional outcome.
Now, when you say…
…that feels to me like you’ve opened up the loop a bit…it’s no longer closed on the hard conclusion you had previously drawn. The loop opens and invites a possible exit from the closed loop. I like that feeling. It serves to soften the hard edges of emotions we had been feeling…at least a little bit…and it invites movement and possibility.
And then right after that you ‘close the loop’ once again…
…probably because that’s what you are most familiar with…it’s what you’ve practiced…loops are very reliable ways to maintain both wanted and unwanted emotions and behaviours!!
I can consider these emotional conclusions we arrive at as ‘loops’…are they closed or open?..and MOST importantly knowing that I am in control of the opening/closing. It gives me a conceptual framework, a roadmap of sorts…and thinking in this way is far less blaming and far more simply strategic…'how can I move from where I am to where I want to be?’… so I can navigate toward something more desired and more useful…more thriving.
@Angelsloveyou indeed. It’s such a journey, a journey of hitting and missing the one. Giving in and standing up for what matters, until I can start to see clearer what is a YES, the guitar that fits me!
@Glenn thank you! That’s a very wise and sound advice/perspective. Opening the closed emotional loop that I’ve put myself in. And yes! the loop feels so stuck because guitars are important to me and my well-being because I use them almost everyday! So I’ve grown to become so attached to them that my well-being somehow depends on them too!
And removing those hard conclusions and smoothening those edges are so challenging. Like diamond rubbing against diamond in order to mould them! But yes, thanks for the navigation and the clarity. I’m more tapping to go to open up those loops!