For the past week I’ve been forced to address double vision.
I say forced because, heck, when you look and see two of everything, there’s just an overwhelming abundance of… sensation!
- Two eye exams
- Blood test
- Lots of self-care and unwinding
- Tapping on what’s coming up… the deeper aspects of which are “I wish I didn’t see that” (so many things over three years)
I share this because (a) It’s useful for me to, (b) I could really use energetic support and flexibility, (c) it’s complicated and sometimes sharing what we’re learning about complex interactions can help others, too.
I don’t need “worry.” My mother, bless her worried heart, is doing enough of that for a thousand of me.
Aspects I’m aware of at this point:
To rest my eyes from the multifocal contact lenses I wear, I was not putting my lenses in during the mornings with the kids or evenings after they went to bed. However! I still worked at my phone and computer – I see clearly doing so but only if the device is really… too close. My doctor said of all the things that are hard on one’s eyes, that’s perhaps the hardest. I need to wear either lenses or corrected glasses (sometimes both). I believe this pattern which has been occurring for a long while put me over the top in eye strain and brain fatigue.
My C2 vertebrae has always been a bit hypermobile. I get chiropractic regularly, but I’d been noticing the tension there was staying tense, and I hadn’t been unwinding it sufficiently. When I relax that area, my head returns to a more level posture and the double vision improves. A good sign.
C2 also affects cranial nerve 4 and intercranial fluid pressure. So the nerve being depleted/strained by poor posture – looking down at phone, looking down at floor to see kids and not trip on anything, etc – alone can result in double vision.
I used to do contact improv every week, sometimes twice, where I would dance with eyes closed and give my whole body a chance to be listened to and unwind. Haven’t done that for 3 years now. Also ecstatic dance has been missing.
557 days straight of “Morning Mile” walking has helped, but with the double vision being worse when I looked down, realized I was “over focusing” on where I was stepping rather than looking more ahead and allowing peripheral vision to guide my feet. Last few days of walking I’ve corrected that and keep actively releasing my upper neck, and when I do the double vision goes away (unless I look down without moving my head).
I’ve been doing more cooking, cleaning, chopping… again, lots of close work and looking down… and way too much without appropriate lenses on.
I have one eye higher than the other and have for as long as I can remember. Doctor says my brain adapted to that to provide proper image, but the strain and close work and all the other stuff can “de-train” the brain – so now I am seeking to help it remember. Might take… awhile.
There’s a lot I “wish I hadn’t seen” that has happened over the past three years. I feel I’ve tended pretty well to my thoughts about those things, even the trauma or heart pain. I have not, really tended to the visual aspects. Clearly (cough cough blink blink). I know this because just tapping on “All these things I wish I hadn’t seen” has lead to a pretty constant stream of Images. Some fleeting, feeling like once acknowledged the trauma of them can flow again. Others more sticky, so I check in on them again in the days that follow. “That thing I wish I never saw” seems to come up with examples that have a charge on them. I suspect I’ll need to tend to this for an extended period… and be more hygienic about my visual system going forward, too.
Ok… that feels like enough for now. I have some more tests this coming Friday.
What I could use?
Please check email before circle sessions, in case I have to cancel or move them. Also, our regular members know that I do show up unless I can’t, so letting any new members feel welcomed and explaining / checking. If I do cancel, if someone could check the Zoom room that would be great.
Understanding I may at times need to close my eyes or turn off video during sessions in the near term.
I love warm heart hugs and encouragement. My guides and guidance are clear that this will actually establish new setups and postures and approaches that will serve me well for decades to come.
Hold a Good Thought that relief is forthcoming and by the time we’re on our family trip in July that I’m solid.
I have seen improvement past three days, which is encouraging even if not linear.
Love to you all!
P.S. Schedule is updated on the website. I’m not going to try and post it tonight though via email. Sometime tomorrow hopefully. My Mom is visiting next three days so first call this month will be Jun 8 830pm EDT. (And now you know why the schedule was delayed )