The feeling of kinship honors the depth and closeness that arises when co-creators share an experience that together is, indeed, better.

  • Shared values, intentions, and varied approaches mesh in a healthier dynamic when kinship is freely cultivated.
  • People who share an affinity for each other are curious about how to engage together with mutual meaning and joy.
  • Kinship for thriving isn’t limited to family, blood relatives, tribe, or any group or individual – it’s freely chosen (and can be freely left).

When Family Are Not Your Kin

It’s hard when an otter is raised by beavers. While sorta similar, there are profound differences in their natures and gifts.

Freedom-oriented beings raised by those who demand obedience and obligation to family and cultural values that do not fit can lead to trauma, distress, and warped adaptations. (Yes, imagine the otter trying to take down a tree because they “have to.”)

Focusing on kinship moves us toward choice and freedom. It can be hard to accept the reality that some (or all) of our family don’t feel like kinfolk. When we accept this and even accept that it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with us… we’re free to start cultivating kinships.

Kinship and the Big Yes

To feel a kinship is to feel the Big Yes. The Big Yes rises between people whose engagements produce energy, enthusiasm, and inspired action.

At times this kinship feeling can arise quickly. “Ah, we fit!” At other times we go from yes to Yes to YES, and we feel the relationship reaches a depth where “kinship” is more accurate a description than, for example, “friendship.”

Cultivating Kinship

We can feel kinship with people we’ve not met. We can also cultivate kinship with those who are not close to us or engaging directly with us (yet?) by sharing their heartistry with others, amplifying their message, and reflecting back to them (when it’s a yes) specific appreciation, inspiration, and usefulness to us.

We believe that like any relationship, kinship is a living energy system that flourishes when we cultivate it through awareness, invitation, consent, and inspired co-creating.

Does this take time? Yes, and more than time!

Cultivating kinship may ask for our presence. It may lead to emotional labor, holding space, and willingness to adapt within healthy boundaries.

For those of us who treasure co-creating, cultivating kinships is core daily practice of love and an expression of our Big Yes.

Useful Questions

  • Who do I feel kinship with?
  • What matters to them that also matters to me?
  • In what ways does “obligation” intrude in my relations?
  • If I chose my kinships freely, whose heart and mind would I want to be closer to? Are they open to that?


Related Concepts

Emotional Freedom, Choice, Co-Creating, Agreements, Circling, Devotion, Ecosystem, Lifestyle Design, We-Space

Contributors: @Rick

We invite you to share your experiences and wisdom:

  • Life examples where this concept has played a role
  • Other useful questions
  • Links to audios, videos, books, and courses that add to our shared understanding of this concept
  • Memes, quotes, and inspiring images


Thriving Now is definitely my Ohana :hibiscus:


Howdy, You One-of-a-Kinder!


Balajis talks about this as the Network State (an upgrade to the Nation State) where kinship and shared affinities allow for a rising of communities.

Like we have here!