First, I want to acknowledge that those of us where Kindness is a core part of our nature have often been… maltreated. Abused. Scammed.

It is part of our recovery to learn to not have Kindness as a reflex, a reaction… to turn it into a deeper Responsiveness. That allows our intuition to be a co-creator and can help us be quite a bit more protected (even if imperfectly).

Short term personal gain

To me that is me-space primitive brain behavior. It’s isn’t kind. It’s focused on getting a need met, or winning while others lose.

Building something for community… that matters to us

Sometimes kind people can be manipulated into doing things that are not really a YES for them, for the “benefit” of the “family” or company or community. Here, our learning is to make sure that we feel a part-of and welcome in the we-space we’re serving… and that it matters to us.

Anti-selfish path forward

When I first read this, I saw only the “anti-selfish” and felt the clutch in my gut of all the times when I was considered selfish because I didn’t put someone else’s needs AHEAD of my own.

Isn’t it interesting how many times we’re considered selfish by people that want to control and own our life force to get what they want/need… eh?

The “path forward” changes this. It means to my heart that while I may need to be self-centered (in the best way) enough to know when something is not a YES for me and to say NO if needed… it’s kind to all – including myself – to keep using my co-creativity to find an anti-selfish way forward… a path that benefits the circle and not just me.

Wherever possible.

I believe it is almost always possible, especially if more and more of us are taking this balanced and wise approach to expressing our Kindness.


I’ve been working on a piece I will post at some point that discusses what for me is the important difference between being kind and being nice. Sometimes they coincide and sometimes they diverge in my experience. For me personally, kindness is a much higher order operating principle than ‘niceness’ is. Many times I’ve confused the two things so I’ve been spending some time sorting this out a bit for myself.


I am capable of being nice without being kind (to myself or another).

I’m looking forward to your frames on it!


Exactly…that’s the long and short of it really.

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