Just needing a place to vent

The following is a review I’m going to leave on Yelp in a few days.

TLDR: Went to an energy worker who billed himself as a healer, medium and empath. After asking me questions for 40 minutes, he told me the meeting was over and I needed to leave because I was “choosing fear instead of love”. I told him I was dissociating, and he still made me leave. I thought I was making an appointment with an exceptional healer, and instead was left traumatized.

Please bear with me, as this is long. The person I met is not the caring and loving person described by so many others here, and I’m still dysregulated and fighting depression days after meeting him.

I thought I’d made an appointment for a unique and life changing healing session, but it turned out to be an interview for him to see if he wanted to work with me. I did not become aware of this until I was abruptly told after 40 minutes(!) of questioning that the meeting was terminated and I needed to leave.

The first question I was asked was “Do you like being an empath?” Shortly thereafter, he laughingly said “I can feel you trying to read me, but I’m not letting you in.” This “joke” set off alarm bells, as if he was making sure I knew he was the one with the power.

He asked me “If your 4 year old self was sitting here, what would you do?” I said I would talk to her and give her a hug and tell her I loved her. He said I’d be wrong in doing so, because I wasn’t letting her choose. Except I know my 4 year old self and that would have been what she needed and never got. His questions were often confusing, to say the least.

The fatal mistake 40 minutes in was I’d given an answer he said showed I “wasn’t ready” and I was “choosing fear instead of love”. Even when I made it clear I’d misunderstood the question, I was told I’d need to come back another day. I’m not sure how that would work, as the next time I’d be full of anxiety trying to come up with the “right” answer/s since I now understood the consequence was “No treatment for you!” Again, it felt like he was showing me he had all the power. It’s hard to convey how it felt like a switch had flipped and he’d suddenly gone cold and unmovable and how disorienting this was.

This is a terrible way to treat your (quite likely) already traumatized clients who (very likely) have a lifetime of pain and suffering and who (also very likely) desperately want to feel better. NOW.

I believe the question was “Are you ready to have everything change?” and I said no, because I’m an empath and I don’t want to lose that. It wasn’t explained to me in the context of the question that all sorts of things can change with this work, whether I wanted them to or not. I made it clear that in that context I would have said yes, but apparently answers are not allowed to be changed, regardless of new information and understanding.

This is the point when I felt him turn stone cold before my eyes (even though he still had a smile on his face) and I was told the meeting was over and I’d have to leave. I felt his energy change, and it was shocking. The inflexibility, lack of empathy and the suddenness of it all left me stunned. It was mind boggling to be treated like that by someone who calls himself a healer, an empath and a medium. It was like he was engaged with me until he wasn’t, as if he’d suddenly turned into someone else and slammed the door in my face. I felt disoriented.

When I told him I hadn’t understood the question, he just stared at me coldly and said “Then why didn’t you ask?” I looked at him feeling shock and horror and disbelief and that had to be written all over my face, yet he just kept staring at me. I was unable to respond, as at this point I’d started dissociating.

He had kept talking about “choosing love over fear”, which I get, but when you’re working with people who are traumatized, some of them may need to be shown a little love and kindness first so they can let go of fear and trust that YOU, someone they JUST MET, have their back and AREN’T GOING TO HURT THEM MORE, rather than expecting them to be so evolved in their healing work that they can navigate a gauntlet of questions to your exacting specifications. All he showed me was I can never trust him again.

After telling me we were done, he dismissively said, “Well this hasn’t cost you anything but your time, because I’m not charging you.” Except, days later, I’m still depressed and trying to reregulate my nervous system. It has cost me dearly in many ways, and it was never about money to begin with.

I thought I came in for what promised to be a life changing healing session, and left feeling horribly traumatized. Even though I told him I was dissociating, I was still shown the door. I stumbled out in a state of shock and disbelief, and drove home in a fog. What I’d hoped would be one of the best days of my life changed in a second into something truly awful.

It would’ve been helpful to receive an email before the appointment with a list of questions to think about, or a phone conversation, or something, anything, that made it crystal clear I wasn’t making an appointment for energy work and that I might very well never receive a session at all. I understand having a filtering process, but the method of implementation felt cruel and inflexible and left much to be desired. It’s as if he’s trying to see if he can get you to “fail”, rather than helping you “pass”. I felt he’d deliberately tried to trip me up, and just didn’t care if I’d misunderstood something. Sort of like military boot camp, where they try really hard to see if they can get you to wash out.

I’d like to also say I messaged him and said I’d been left traumatized. I waited several days after seeing him to post this, in order to give him a chance to respond, but he never did.

I’m surprised there are no reviews mentioning similar experiences, since I was told by him afterwards that he rejects around 9 out of 10 people who come to see him.


I also can’t shake the feeling the guy is a narcissist. There are something like 28 glowing Yelp reviews, and I felt manipulated and abused by him.


Wow. Your description is vivid and clear, and I am so so sorry you had to both endure that and have had to cope with the repercussions. I cannot imagine how disorienting it would be to be interrogated and then shut down, saying i was choosing fear over love.

Talk about someone with no sense of who you are.

Since moving to Asheville, I’ve heard stories such as this. The “healer” has their filtering which truth be told is a narcissist seeing whether the person is vulnerable enough to submit and be compliant. When they are not, they are “rejected” with some kind of no-sense or assertion. Could be “entities” or something like what you heard. Those that “pass” often do not escape for months or years – as you said:

…they do, during the filtering where the person leaves with a feeling that is hard to shake… a kind of lie that seems to get under the skin or at least past the boundaries.

I hope your venting and clear description that might help others, too, gives you some restoration. If there’s more you want to share, please feel free.

P.S. I’ve seen and felt you choose love over fear so many hundreds of times… even with this writing, love over fear.


Wow!! I’m so sorry you had endure that level of bullshit and manipulation from that idiot. The word ‘asshole’ comes immeditately to mind and, as both Rick and you have mentioned, the word ‘narcissist’ came immediately to mind as well. I just can’t mince words. Idiots, narcisists, assholes and incompetents exist across all contexts including (and maybe especially??) in the realm of spiritual/psychological/emotional health care. This is why people like Rick are absolute treasures when we find them!! People like the guy you describe are predatory and like any predator they seek to ply their form of predation within a context that easily brings them into contact with their prey. I don’t know how else to consider what you’ve described.
Now, I don’t know whether what I’m about to say is true or not (I’d like to think it is) but I have a feeling (fantasy) that I would have had the capacity in the moment to stand up and tell that idiot to ‘FUCK OFF!’. Doing that after the fact is good too I reckon.

For better or worse we live in a world where certain contexts are considered sacrosanct…above reproach and criticism. Doctors are a prime example of this nonsense. There are many Drs. I’ve encountered who need to be told to ‘FUCK OFF’ and the context of mental/emotional health care is one of those contexts where we can unnecessarily uphold people to unreasonable and undeserved respect and acclaim simply because of the context they operate within and some humans, being what we are, will absolutely take advantage of that to victimize others. You were victimized intentionally. Plain and simple in my mind.

Fortunately you are smart and aware and fully able to confront that nonsense even if it’s after the fact…or on Yelp. I completely understand your feelings of being abused and feeling disorientated. Those are totally understandable reactions. I could feel that as I read your account.

Now…I’ve just returned home after the Sunday Blues Jam (had a blast today!!) and I haven’t yet had my dinner and I’ve had a couple of beers but I’m completely willing to get on the next plane to Seattle and punch that moron right on the nose for you. That, IMO, would not be entirely out of line.

Peace and love to you my friend…


(((((Gibbysan))))) I, too am so sorry you had to endure the bullshit that this idiot expected you to accept. As I read your account I could feel myself disregulating too and I was actually afraid for your safety. I’ve seen you accept love over fear many times and been in awe of your courage to do so. I’m sending you loving support :heart:


What a dick. Sorry you went through that. Sounds like he chose fear over love when he felt how powerful you are. Glad you are standing up for yourself. I imagine this review will help others and that you are not the first person to have this type of experience with this d-bag.


Oh Gibbysan, this is HORRIBLE, I am so sorry you had to endure this. I cannot imagine how he could get these good reviews unless he paid people to write them.

I hope you are able to get support through us here and tapping to let go of this trauma. These kinds of assholes infuriate me so much I need to tap, :heart: