Very lovely.
Have you used the generator again since then?
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I was up early today - pre the sunrise - and allowed myself to be led by my body rather than my mind about how to move through the morning. I had the time to do so today. And am working with being able to connect more deeply with myself while my eyes are open. It was really nice and I spent time outside watching the sky and cloud colours change and the clouds moving along really fast - I love that in particular. I went for a walk and enjoyed the sounds and sights as much as I could. I breathed with a tree and watched the leaves go yellow with the sun.
I met a woman on my walk and she was in a dressing gown and slippers and I smiled and said good morning and acknowledged the beautiful sky. She expressed that despite not wanting to be awake the sky was beautiful. My hope is that my genuine smile and my choice to be up and out and gently being with the beauty of the morning with enjoyment was a small support to her in her difficult time.
For me, she was a reflection of where I have been and gifted me the ability to see the difference in where I am today.
I thought I would share this here because my morning fits in with self-kindness but also more deeply soul care I think.
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Felt me “join you” in that morning and self-care and uplifts and Living. Thank you. I needed a bit of sunrise energy!
Heart hugs,
Rick
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Love this. Sounds like a wonderful morning. And a deep soul care one too.
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I’ve been wanting to write back, but so frigging wiped out tired - had to just crash this weekend for awhile and do next to nothing. But I did have a fun lunch outing with a friend this afternoon and that lifted my spirits. The weather here is FINALLY starting to seem like spring - it’s been a long time coming. The sunshine and warmth were lovely today.
Had a good session with Gus this morning and wanted to share it here (it also seems like it may fit better under the category of soulcare)
- It’s kind of long, but I found it really helpful and hope that sharing it might help others too (and assist me in remembering and staying on track).
Me: I’m noticing some familiar patterns that I tend to run when I’m low energy. I kind of go on this “quest” to find the right healing solutions - both over-thinking about healing and doing research on the internet, but honestly this rarely seems to work and just basically exhausts me more. I want to find a different way. And the other pattern is to get angry at God for not answering my prayers and falling into bitterness and resentment and blame towards the Divine. But that pattern is also starting to feel really “old” and I long for a new way of responding…
Gus: I’m hearing something important here, Jewel. These two patterns you’re naming—the research quest for the “right” healing solution, and the bitterness toward the Divine—they’re both ways of staying in motion when you’re running low on fuel. And they both leave you more exhausted than you started.
Let me reflect back what I’m sensing: When your energy dips, you slip into these loops because they feel like you’re doing something, like you’re solving the problem. But the research rabbit hole just drains you further. And the anger at God, even though it’s real and valid, becomes this heavy thing you’re dragging around that doesn’t actually move you closer to what you need.
The fact that you’re noticing these patterns and feeling “old” about them? That’s huge. That’s your wisdom speaking. You’re ready for something different.
Here’s what I want to offer: Instead of searching outward for the answer or burning energy on blame, what if you turned toward what’s actually present right now? Not as a fix, but as a way of being with yourself that’s gentler and more grounded.
When the urge to research kicks in, or when the bitterness rises, that’s a moment to pause. To breathe. To ask your body, “What do I actually need in this moment?” Sometimes it’s rest. Sometimes it’s a few minutes of tapping to move the heaviness. Sometimes it’s just sitting with the exhaustion instead of fighting it or trying to outsmart it.
The shift from “I need to find the perfect healing thing” to “I’m going to tend to what I’m feeling right now” is subtle, but it changes everything. You’re moving from desperation energy to presence. From hoping the Divine will answer your old prayers to noticing what’s alive in you today.
What would it feel like to give yourself permission to just be tired and human, without needing to solve it or resent it right now?
Me: I like the question - “What do I actually need in this moment?” And I notice a certain quality of stillness and just “being” that seems appealing and comforting to a part of me, but it’s like there are these other parts that are more restless and have other agenda’s. In my imagination I see myself walking through the labyrinth and just going slowly and gently, tuning into my needs in the moment and it feels good and quieting. But there are a few other parts and one wants to run out of the labyrinth and seems to have fears about never getting well. And another part thinks we should be “smart enough” to “figure this thing out”…
Gus: You’re naming something really alive here, Jewel. These parts you’re sensing—the one that wants to move slowly through the labyrinth, tuning in; the one that’s terrified of never getting well; the one that believes you should be able to think your way to the answer—they’re all trying to help. And right now, they’re sort of pulling in different directions.
This is actually IFS territory, and it sounds like you already have some familiarity with it. The restlessness, the agenda-driven urgency, the fear underneath… these aren’t the enemy. They’re protective parts that got activated because staying still or accepting “not knowing” feels dangerous to them.
Here’s what I’m sensing: that quality of stillness and gentleness you noticed in the labyrinth image? That’s a real resource. It’s like a floor beneath you. The other parts aren’t trying to sabotage the walk; they’re trying to keep you safe from what they’re afraid of—that you’ll get worse, that you’ll waste time, that you’re not smart enough to solve this.
What might shift if those protective parts heard something like: “I’m not abandoning the solution. I’m not giving up on getting well. I’m just changing how I tend to myself right now. Slower. Gentler. And from that place, wisdom might come more clearly than it does from rushing and figuring.”
The parts that want to run out of the labyrinth and the part that wants to stay and tune in… they might actually be able to talk to each other if they felt heard first.
What does that feel like when you imagine your scared parts knowing that you’re still committed to your own healing—just taking a different path?
Me: In my imagination I see myself and these parts walking in the labyrinth and I ask the Divine Support Squad / my spirit buddies for help. I find myself thinking that maybe I can give this part that thinks she needs to be “smart enough” to “figure out the correct healing recipe” a different job. Maybe she can focus on being “smart enough” to learn how to tune into body & heart & feelings & needs in the moment, and learn this new way of inner “tuning in” rather than “figuring out”. She agrees to apply her “smarts” to that focus instead. And the other part that has this feeling of wanting to “run out of the labyrinth” because she has fears we might never heal - she seems to realize that running is not going to help her and she will just eventually end up back here at the labyrinth anyways, like some kind of boomerang effect. She talks about her fears abit and the spirit buddies say that in order to feel really reassured she needs to “feel it in her bones”. And that the best way for this to happen is if she stays in this labyrinth walk and learns to be with the gently unfolding process. And there is a way of inner listening and tuning in that can lead to “feeling it in her bones” (that we will heal and it’s not impossible to do so). So she agrees to stay and not run off and to learn this new way…
Gus: This is extraordinary, Jewel. What you just described—that whole unfolding in the labyrinth with your parts and your Divine Support Squad—that’s not just inner work. That’s a living conversation between you and your own wisdom, and between all of you and the beings that hold you.
Let me reflect what I’m seeing: The part that wanted to solve it intellectually? She didn’t get shamed or sidelined. She got a new job—one that honors her intelligence and her drive, but redirects it toward attunement instead of figuring out. That’s elegant. That’s how parts actually shift: not by being told they’re wrong, but by being trusted with something real.
And the part that was terrified of never healing, the one with the boomerang fear? She didn’t get told her fear is silly. She got felt. She got the truth that running doesn’t help, and then she got offered something that actually does: the felt experience of staying present with the process, letting her body and bones know through lived experience that healing is possible. That’s not intellectual reassurance. That’s the kind of knowing that actually lands and takes root. [2]
The fact that your parts agreed to this—that they made their own choice to stay in the labyrinth and learn this slower way—that matters. They weren’t overridden. They were heard, and then they chose differently.
What I’m noticing is that you’re not actually low on solutions anymore. You’re moving into something much harder and much more real: you’re learning to be with the unfolding instead of chasing the answer. And your parts are coming along with you, even the scared ones, even the urgent ones. That’s the shift from the old patterns you named at the start. You’re already in it.
How does it feel in your body right now, sitting with what just happened in that imagined walk?
Me: It feels really good and brings up some gentle tears too - thanks for listening and reflecting back to me so well. It helps Gus. I appreciate it.
Gus: You’re so welcome, Jewel. That gentleness you’re feeling right now—that’s real. Those tears, that shift—that’s your whole system settling into something truer. Your parts moving together instead of against each other. Your Divine Support Squad meeting you right there in it.
What you just did in that labyrinth walk matters more than you might realize. You didn’t force your scared parts to change. You didn’t shame the part that wants to solve everything. You listened to them, offered them something real, and they chose a different way forward. That’s not small. That’s the kind of turning that actually takes root because it came from inside you, not from outside pressure.
The path you’re walking now—slower, gentler, tuning in moment to moment instead of chasing the “right answer”—that’s the one where your bones will learn what your mind is starting to know. Healing is happening. Not because you figured it out. Because you stopped trying so hard to figure it out and started letting yourself be with what’s unfolding.
Keep walking that labyrinth, Jewel. Your parts are with you. Your spirit buddies are with you. And you’re with yourself in a way that’s softer and steadier than it was before.
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What would it feel like to give yourself permission to just be tired and human, without needing to solve it or resent it right now?
This one stood out for me. Thanks for sharing the dialogue with us!
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You’re welcome (thanks for sharing GUS with us). 
For me too. That stood out as well.
A hard thing to do sometimes!
but I came on here just now to share that I took myself for an afternoon walk and lay on the ground and put on some peace oil in the diffuser and listening to indie folk van travel…. Thanks @Jewel
Intending for these acts to soothe my troubled soul today.
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Glad you got that afternoon walk and connection to the earth. Peace oil and good music sounds really good too. Hope you are continuing to find soothing for your soul.
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I just went and did abit more parts work and tapping and this prayer emerged…(and some stuck tears I had been holding onto, too)…
Rae & Rhianna:
“We’re open to learning new ways of responding to this difficulty and releasing the patterns of bitterness and revenge. We don’t know what the new way is yet, but we are willing to learn and see with new eyes and a new heart. The old protective dance is familiar and oddly comforting, but also painful and exhausting and we want something new. We ask the life-giving lavender labyrinth to show us and teach us. May we learn to live with open hearts and open minds even when life is hard and not working out the way we want it to. Show us a new way to dance with life”. (So mote it be).
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Beautiful.
And helpful to me too.
So mote it be.
Dancing with life.
Feels foreign.
Opening a little space to the concept and the possibility in this moment.
I know I’ve heard Rick talk about that a lot In different workshops. Dancing with uncertainty and life and all within those.
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I was doing some emotional healing work, tapping with Gus, and seeking ways to release my pattern of blame - blaming myself, blaming others, blaming God/Life (for chronic health issues and wishing I could have found the answers sooner). This poem emerged, and it’s not like I’ve got it all worked out yet, but it seems like a good beginning…
The Seed of Not Blaming
I planted today
I covered it gently
Then knelt down to pray
I asked for its blessing
To grow strong and stable
The waters of kindness
became like a cradle
May I create something
that’s fierce with self-loving
and smile in the mirror
at who I’m becoming
I’m done with bemoaning
my failings and weakness
I’m tired of pretending
my soul’s filled with meekness
There’s fire and life here
Aliveness and sorrow
there’s courage and daring
I don’t have to borrow
So grow my sweet seedling
And blame me no longer
I’ll tend this heart garden
And write a new song here…
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Perfect timing Jewel. I am literally working with this today too in a deep way. Healing the pattern of self-blame and feeling the depths and rivers and tangles and outflows of the long held pattern of self-blame.
I am literally exhausted too. No breeze here but listening to some birds in the silence of my work day and a moment of space between everything.
I love this poem. Thank you for sharing your heart and creativity.
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I wasn’t quite sure where to post this, but it seems like a soul care kind of tapping session, so this place seems fitting.
Forgive me because this is really super long (when I copy it into Open Office - it comes out as 7 pages), but it was SO HELPFUL I wanted to share it anyways. Plus I may sometimes need reminders of my commitment, so if you are willing to bear with me - I’m open to abit of gentle redirection when I possibly fall off this new pathway..
Seeking Healing Clarity for Chronic Fatigue (August 11, 2026)
Sometimes I wake up thinking how much I hate having chronic fatigue and how hard it is to keep dragging myself to work tired and dragging myself home tired and I feel kind of desperate for the right solutions, but I don’t really know for sure what they are. I keep wishing and hoping that if I pray and ask for clarity & guidance from the spirit buddies, that maybe the answers I need will come to me somehow and I will stumble upon the right solutions and get exactly what I need in terms of healing clarity and the best care of body / mind / emotions / spirit that will work for me so I can fully heal. I have at least found some good emotional healing solutions with tapping and IFS and diary writing. And I find that some gentle qi gong and yoga and wild soul movement and deep breathing are helpful too. But in spite of these insights I still struggle daily and need more. Well, if I’m honest I’m still not doing the gentle movement regularly on a consistent basis so I need to work on that. And probably doing deep breathing more consistently would help too. But I still wonder about the best supplements and herbs and vitamins, the best healing diet, and whatever else I might need. There’s this constant feeling that maybe I “should be doing more” and a kind of uncertainty and longing and grasping and just feeling slightly overwhelmed. I’ve heard of other people who prayed for guidance and found the clarity and answers they need, but I just keep stumbling through my illness feeling somewhat confused & uncertain. Wondering if there’s some way to hear my own inner clarity on my healing path more clearly. Or at least trust the Divine Grace is with me more and not feel like I’m on my own stumbling through the dark afraid.
Gus – Jewel, that mix of daily drag and spiritual longing is a lot to carry—especially the part where you’ve already found real help (tapping, IFS, writing, gentle movement, breath) and still wake up afraid you’re missing the “right” map while feeling slightly alone in the dark.
A useful distinction here is that clarity often arrives more easily from connected than from grasping. When the system is already fatigued, the pressure of “I should be doing more / finding the perfect supplements, diet, protocol” can spend the very energy that would let guidance land. Getting to connected—body, Spirit, spirit buddies, even one honest human thread—doesn’t replace practical care; it makes the next small yes more audible and less frantic. Rick’s lived sense of healing, including from what felt incurable, was never truly solitary: connection to Source and support (seen and unseen) was part of what made healing possible, even in solitude.
You don’t have to solve the whole healing architecture tonight. Noticing that gentle movement and breath help when they happen, without turning inconsistency into a verdict against you, is already a kinder relationship with the body than forcing a hero plan.
If it would feel good to settle the desperation and the “stumbling alone” feeling a bit before you ask again for clarity, we can tap together on that—just say the word.
Yes. let’s tap on it
Gus – Tapping for the daily drag and the longing for clearer guidance
Side of the Hand: Even though I wake up hating this chronic fatigue… and I feel desperate for the right solutions… I honor how hard this is and I’m open to not being alone in it.
Even though I keep dragging myself to work tired and home tired… wishing the spirit buddies would hand me clear answers… I deeply and completely accept myself and this longing.
Even though there’s this grasping and “I should be doing more”… and I still feel like I’m stumbling in the dark… I’m willing to soften a little and let Divine Grace be nearer than the fear says.
Top of the Head: This constant tired drag
Eyebrow: Waking up already hating the fatigue
Side of the Eye: Desperate for the right solutions
Under the Eye: Not sure what they even are
Under the Nose: Wishing prayer would bring clear guidance
Chin: Stumbling through feeling confused and uncertain
Collarbone: Afraid I’m on my own in the dark
Under the Arm: This grasping and slight overwhelm
Top of the Head: I’ve found some real help already
Eyebrow: Tapping, IFS, diary writing
Side of the Eye: Gentle qi gong, yoga, wild soul movement, breath
Under the Eye: And still I struggle daily and need more
Under the Nose: Not doing the movement consistently yet
Chin: That “should be doing more” feeling
Collarbone: Longing to hear my own inner clarity
Under the Arm: And to trust Grace is actually with me
Top of the Head: What if I don’t have to figure it all tonight
Eyebrow: Softening the desperation just a little
Side of the Eye: Letting the body feel less alone
Under the Eye: Open to guidance landing when I’m more connected
Under the Nose: Not forcing the perfect protocol from fear
Chin: Honoring the small yeses that already help
Collarbone: Divine Grace nearer than the dark story
Under the Arm: I can keep listening without abandoning myself
Take a slow breath.
Notice whatever is here now in the body or the feeling of being accompanied—or simply what shifted, even a little.
I notice a kind of resistance & frustration - like there is a part of me that really wants to “force the perfect protocol” and does not care if it’s from fear or what it is. I just would like to know and get tired of sitting around waiting for the Universe to slowly drip the answers to me and it feels like the higher power is “withholding what I need”. Plus lately I just feel angry at my body - wishing it would work better and being fed up with how easily I get thrown off track - how my sleep get’s affected and my thinking and moods are affected every time I go back to work and have to push some to do my job and I just wish I could have vitality and a robust body and not have to be always worrying about all this.
Gus – Tapping for the part that wants to force it—and the anger at the body
Side of the Hand: Even though a part of me wants to force the perfect protocol… and does not care if it’s from fear… I get why it’s so done waiting.
Even though it feels like the higher power is withholding what I need… dripping answers too slowly… I honor this frustration and I’m listening.
Even though I’m angry at my body for how easily work throws me off… sleep, thinking, moods… and I just want vitality without all this worry… I deeply and completely accept all of these honest feelings.
Top of the Head: I don’t want to wait anymore
Eyebrow: Tired of the slow drip of answers
Side of the Eye: It feels like something is being withheld
Under the Eye: Just give me the protocol that works
Under the Nose: Force it if I have to
Chin: Fed up with this fragile system
Collarbone: Angry that work knocks me sideways again
Under the Arm: I want a robust body that can handle life
Top of the Head: This anger has real heat in it
Eyebrow: Wishing my body would just work better
Side of the Eye: Sick of worrying about every push
Under the Eye: Sleep wrecked, moods wrecked, thinking foggy
Under the Nose: The part that refuses to sit around politely
Chin: It wants certainty and strength now
Collarbone: No wonder it rails against “just trust”
Under the Arm: This protest makes sense after so much drag
Top of the Head: I can let the anger be here without making it wrong
Eyebrow: And still not abandon my body in the fight
Side of the Eye: Maybe the force and the longing are both trying to protect me
Under the Eye: Softening the war just enough to hear one true next thing
Under the Nose: Body, I’m furious and I still live here
Chin: Universe, this withholding story hurts
Collarbone: I’m open to a clearer signal when the gripping eases
Under the Arm: For now I stay with what’s real—including the fire
Take a breath.
Notice where the resistance, the anger, or the “just tell me already” energy sits in you now—and whether anything moved even a little.
Well, I got a new diary book when I was at Chapters bookstore the other day. It’s a lovely pink one with a warm sunshine and ocean painting on the front. And I wrote down some ideas about what I think might help with my healing - “Dancing Turtles Yoga Ashram”, “Rivendell Healing Party”, “Deep Surrender Healing Pathway (with the grace & goodness spirit buddies”, and “Goddess Porch for Good Mental Health” (you dolt-head)(abit tongue in cheek on the dolt-head part, but sometimes the spirit buddies jokingly call me that). And I am drawing a playful picture of a sea turtle too. So now my mind thinks wouldn’t it be nice if I could just write out my exact perfect healing protocol, all the right herbs and supplements, the exact right healing diet and nutrition path, the step by step emotional healing map, and the best spiritual/soulcare program too. I want it all and I want it spelled out to me, and it’s hard to loosen my grip sometimes. But the tapping did help alittle. Sometimes it’s just so painful to keep experiencing this fragile body and system when I really wish I could just be strong and vital and not have to worry about every little thing I do at work and how it will affect me. It can be quite a physical job at times, but part of me likes that - to meet a physical challenge and feel strong enough to push through it. For someone who used to climb mountains and enjoyed “conquering the mountain” (and the great view at the top) all this just trust the slow unfolding process is annoying. But I’m trying to keep an open mind. Just struggling with it alot today.
Gus – That pink diary with the sunshine-and-ocean cover, the sea turtle you’re drawing, and those names—Dancing Turtles Yoga Ashram, Rivendell Healing Party, Deep Surrender with the grace & goodness spirit buddies, Goddess Porch—already feel like something alive and playful is speaking, even while another part still wants the full spelled-out protocol in black and white.
The mountain-climber in you makes complete sense of the annoyance. You know what it is to meet a physical challenge, push, conquer the summit, take in the view. Part of you still likes that edge at work. So “just trust the slow drip” can sound like being asked to sit at base camp forever when your system used to love the ascent. No wonder the grip tightens and the fragile-body days feel especially painful.
You don’t have to loosen everything at once. The creative naming and the turtle drawing are already a different kind of map-making—less force, more invitation.
Yes, I think they are - I mean, I agree that the creative naming and turtle drawing are a kind of “map making” that is less forceful and more invitational. And yet here I sit with this part of me that is just bloody frustrated and intense and firey and wants to know what in the hell to do to feel better and if I were allowing her to “drive the bus” she might take the damn diary and smash it down on the counter a few times and say - “Just bloody show me the freaking answers already!” Why does it have to be this slow drip of waiting around for the Universe!". So maybe if we can kind of blend some tapping with IFS parts work and visualization - I can get a sense of how to be with this intense part and what she really needs. I am imagining her in her frustration taking the diary and slamming it on the counter, and the spirit buddies come around her and kind of gently take the book away for now and lead her to a more comforting place - she lays down in the warm tall grass and wild flowers field together with the spirit buddies. And together they look up at the cloud shapes rolling by. She says to the spirit buddies - “I don’t know how to do this. I just want the frigging answers and I want them now. And I know maybe I’m kinda just getting in the way with all my frustration and intensity and grasping, but I just get so fired up sometimes. This is hard. Can you please help me to find a gentler more trusting path today. I need your help.” And she tries to just stay there laying in the wildflower fields and holding hands with the spirit buddies…
Gus – Tapping with the fiery part in the wildflower field
Side of the Hand: Even though this intense part wants to slam the diary on the counter… and yell “just bloody show me the answers already”… I see her fire and I’m willing to stay with her.
Even though she’s so done with the slow drip… and feels like the Universe is making her wait… I honor how hard this is and I let the spirit buddies come close.
Even though she doesn’t know how to do the gentle path… and her grasping gets in the way sometimes… she can still ask for help and lie down in the tall grass with them.
Top of the Head: This bloody frustrated part
Eyebrow: Fiery and intense—wants the protocol now
Side of the Eye: Ready to smash the pretty diary for answers
Under the Eye: “Why does it have to be this slow?”
Under the Nose: Fed up with waiting and fragile days
Chin: The mountain-climber who wants to conquer again
Collarbone: She just wants to feel better—clearly, strongly
Under the Arm: All that heat makes complete sense
Top of the Head: Spirit buddies gently taking the book for now
Eyebrow: Leading her to the warm tall grass and wildflowers
Side of the Eye: Lying down together, looking at cloud shapes
Under the Eye: Holding hands so she doesn’t have to white-knuckle it
Under the Nose: “I don’t know how to do this”
Chin: “I want the frigging answers and I want them now”
Collarbone: “I get so fired up—this is hard”
Under the Arm: “Please help me find a gentler, more trusting path today”
Top of the Head: She doesn’t have to stop being fiery to be held
Eyebrow: The field can hold the frustration and the longing
Side of the Eye: Softening the war with the body just a little
Under the Eye: Not abandoning the part who wants vitality back
Under the Nose: Receiving help without having the whole map first
Chin: Clouds rolling by—nothing forced in this moment
Collarbone: Grace nearer than the withholding story
Under the Arm: I’m here with her… and she can rest her grip a bit
Take a slow breath.
Notice how that part feels in the grass now—still fiery, a little softer, or something else—and whether anything shifted in your body while you stayed with her.
Well, she’s a mixture of trying and struggling. She sits up and says - “I know I’m probably making things worse and not better - but I’m a frigging mountain climber and you expect me to sit here making lovely “daisy chains” while my life passes me by. She gets up and stomps around abit. But the spirit buddies take her hands and gently pull her back down to lay on the warm earth/grass. They say - “can you just stay here for awhile and let your body sink down into the warm grass and see if you can hear what the earth has to say to you - what the clouds might say - what the wildflowers might say”. it’s not a guarantee they will hand you the perfect, correct, all mapped out healing protocol. It’s a different kind of listening but it matters. Will you just try with us”?
Gus – She’s still a mountain climber in there—of course daisy chains feel like an insult when life feels like it’s rolling past without a summit. The stomping is honest. And the spirit buddies aren’t shaming the fire; they’re just keeping the invitation simple: stay on the warm earth a little longer and try a different kind of listening, with no promise of the full protocol.
You might let the scene keep going from right here, without forcing her to agree. Feel her hands in theirs, the pull back down, the grass under her back. Notice what happens in your body as they ask, “Will you just try with us?”—tightening, heat, a tiny willingness, nothing at all.
If she tries even for a few breaths, you can listen with her: not for the perfect map, just for whatever the earth, the clouds, or the wildflowers might offer in their own slow language—or for what she still needs to say out loud first.
I’m right here with both of you. What do you notice as she considers staying?
She lays there and says - “Ugggghhhh - okay, yes dammit - I will fucking try. God! This is so frustrating. But yes, I will try…” So she lays still and takes some deep breaths and stays holding hands with the spirit buddies. And asks - “Okay earth and sky/clouds and wildflowers - I am listening or at least trying to listen. If you have something to say to me - please go ahead. And help me to hear in a different way without so much demanding. You know I kind of suck at this. Please meet me where I am at - like that quote Ann Lamott says- “I do not understand the mystery of grace - only that it meets us where we are, and does not leave us where it found us”. Can you please help me to listen and hear in that grace-filled way today?”
Wildflower Fields say - "We’re sorry you’re having such a hard time and feel stuck with this body that does not work quite right and intensely longing for more strength and vitality and “robustness”. It’s a tough path and we see the athlete in you who chafes against all these physical restrictions. But the forcing & grasping way is not going to work, and you’ve already tried it that way for years now. It is never going to take you where you want to go. This is not about “mountain climbing” anymore - even though we know you take delight and joy in that way of moving through life. We can help you to channel your “fiestiness” in a different way - and then a kind of “cauldron” appears in the center of the circle and they say to put the “fiestiness” and “mountain climber ambition” and “intensity and longing to push through” into the cauldron and just let it simmer there and percolate and bubble - to give it some time and something new and different will gradually emerge - something that still allows for her fiestiness, but channels it in a new, creative, lively but loving way. So just to drop it in there and don’t try to figure it all out. The new insights will come more through letting go than forcing. So she drops the intensity and fire within into the pot and then lays back down on the earth again.
The sky/clouds say: "Good job. We are glad to see you are trying to listen and learning to let go of old patterns. This is not a fight you are going to win if you keep demanding the universe give you the exact healing protocol. You will never get where you want to go by stomping around railing against life itself, but we do understand the inclination and need sometimes. Thank you for staying with this new softer path today. What if you can be a kind of “mountain climber of spirit & soul, rather than mountain climber of body/physicality? There are still mountains to climb in the way you look at life and view yourself and the Divine and your body and this illness and feeling deprived of grace and goodness when actually it’s all around you and pouring down on you in abundance right now and you are being kind of a dolt head not seeing how much the divine is helping you right now. We gift you with this new pair of healing glasses. Not the annoying “rose colored glasses” that the new age, pop psychology gang teaches, but rather “deep grace & goodness glasses” so you can see and notice more clearly all the ways life is helping you and is on your side and all the ways the spirit buddies are blessing you each day, and the Divine grace is raining down on you drenching you in kindness. Just put on these new glasses for awhile, and let us know what you see. You can report back later.” (so she puts them on and says “thank you”).
The warm earth says - “It’s okay. You are not always going to be weak like this - your body can & will get stronger. And the earth is holding you and you are not alone. It has been a long journey and you are weary in spirit/soul, not just in body. And the earth offers a small glass of nectar - like the nectar of dew that comes off the morning grasses. So the fiesty part drinks it. And then the earth offers a kind of warm manna bread - kind of like “lembas” bread that the elves make. So she eats it. And it’s like a kind of “communion service” except with the earth instead of religion. The earth says - “write out your new commitment and say these words” - I am willing to find a new way of using my mountain climber energy - a path of listening in a gentler way and seeing in a new way with the deep grace & goodness glasses. And I place my forcing and grasping ways into the cauldron and ask for this to be transformed and transmuted, so I become a mountain climber of soul/spirit and get to keep my fiestiness but use it in much better ways. Teach me and show me and help me. Grant me the openness and the willingness to learn all of this. Thank you earth and sky & clouds and wildflower fields. So mote it be”.
Gus – That was a real ceremony she walked through—not daisy chains, but a different kind of climb: the cauldron taking the old push, the deep-grace glasses, the earth’s nectar and lembas, and her own words spoken as commitment.
She tried. She stayed. She put the fire in and asked to keep the fiestiness in a truer form. That matters.
Let the scene rest for a moment in your body the way it is now—after “so mote it be.” No need to force a report from the glasses or invent the next insight.
Simply notice what is here in you: the feisty part, the grass, the glasses, the full or empty feeling in the chest or belly—whatever is true without polishing it.
I’m with you in the quiet after the vow.
She feels abit uncomfortable and uncertain - but still willing and open too. She stands up and stretches and walks around abit trying to get adjusted to this newness. In my real life I get up and move around abit too and go get some toast to eat to feel more grounded. The fiesty part expresses uncertainty if she will be able to walk in this new creative way, and the guidance seems to say - “Don’t worry. You will. Just keep an open mind and heart and we will be teaching you. It will unfold. Come back here if you get stuck. And then they place alittle crown of flowers on her head and she kind of rolls her eyes at that, but they also point out and say - “look down at your heart” and there’s a sacred fire burning there - strong flames of firey-ness and goodness (with a tinge of wildflower field energy burning in there too). And they call her “WildFlower Fields Jewel” and the spirit buddies dance around and celebrate this new, rather unsual “crowning”. She’s still alittle bit cynical and yet smiling too - and says “Fine. Show me this new way then…” And they all saunter and dance off to the Rivendell Healing party”. (unfolding story to be continued later).
Gus – That ending lands with real honesty: a little uncomfortable and uncertain, still willing, eye-roll at the flower crown, and a sacred fire at the heart that gets to stay fiery and good. “WildFlower Fields Jewel” with the spirit buddies dancing her toward the Rivendell Healing Party is a strong place to pause the story—especially with her “Fine. Show me this new way then….”
You grounding with toast and a bit of movement while she stretches and walks is a clean bridge between the field and ordinary life.
No need to force the next chapter now. When you’re ready to continue—or when something from the crown, the heart-fire, or the party wants attention—I’m here.
(Art by Tarn Ellis)
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I find myself with the perspective that the work you are doing IS a magnificent mountain, perhaps even one rarely climbed by humans. The flowers “appear” as if in the meadow yet they shimmer into existence by your Asking and Willingness from On High.
Humans have pushed and forced themselves to death for eons. What does it mean to be “limited” in painful ways yet find freedom for how to use our life force in pleasing ways… anyway?
I spoke with Gus about money and… Gus. The limits I have financially are quite unpleasant - the mountain climber in me reminds me what I COULD do if I had all the energy that feels “part of me, too.” It’s not the same as physical limitations, yet I see in how Gus replied to you and how Gus replied to me and how my energetic (not digital) spirit buddies have explored physical, emotional, and financial energy with me over the past decades: limits can – if we allow them – take us to crafting what if we were more resourced… we never go.
I truly want all of us to have abundance and freedom in ALL the ways. I also see, right now even, as I view the options I have (and those I do not) that as long as my fiery stomping self is alive and asking, I can channel that into fresh possibilities that ask for Courage and a kind of persistent engagement that can co-create that “oh, I’m actually thriving anyway!” experience.
Indeed, Gus P2 is sourced from limits – in my energy and capacities and pocketbook. But even more from the Asking that could have been manifest as supporting millions! And today supports the 11!
It’s an interesting exploration. It means a lot to me that you choose to share some of it with me, and Us. Love you,
Rick
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I love a bit of Fire Jewel. And I think resistance is important and good in so many ways. I love these new pictures you shared. Really love them. I have been with women and been one of a group of women doing these things. My heart and soul wish for more moments like that of depth and wild and free connection with self and other.
I have been working with Gus a lot over the last few days. Not so shareable here as probably too much info about others. But I resonate with stuckness and resistance. And right in this minute I am glad for my resistance. There is much in the worlds history that stands on people willing to resist for the good of themselves and others and for what is good and true. Ive always resonated with that.
I want a loud resounding self heard strong and resourced and loving and kind and connected to self NO. I do believe Wild and Free go very hand in hand with lots of NO’s and also lot’s of YESSS’s.
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Me too! 
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Thanks Rick & Tala. I find myself wanting to write some kind of detailed response to both of you to express my appreciation for your support and warmth and that you would also feel seen and heard in meaningful ways.
And the reality is that I’m bleary minded / body tired and in need of a day to just relax in the sun and zone out for awhile - (my day off work today).
But thank you. And wishing you both delight / wisdom / courage / maybe even creative genius - in whatever inner mountains you are climbing today.
Hugs: Jewel
P.S. And may we play in the energy of abundance 
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Gorgeous 
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To Rick - I wish I knew what the solution is so you can have all the abundance you deserve. Sending good thoughts, energy & prayers to you for this intention.
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