Very lovely.
Have you used the generator again since then?
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I was up early today - pre the sunrise - and allowed myself to be led by my body rather than my mind about how to move through the morning. I had the time to do so today. And am working with being able to connect more deeply with myself while my eyes are open. It was really nice and I spent time outside watching the sky and cloud colours change and the clouds moving along really fast - I love that in particular. I went for a walk and enjoyed the sounds and sights as much as I could. I breathed with a tree and watched the leaves go yellow with the sun.
I met a woman on my walk and she was in a dressing gown and slippers and I smiled and said good morning and acknowledged the beautiful sky. She expressed that despite not wanting to be awake the sky was beautiful. My hope is that my genuine smile and my choice to be up and out and gently being with the beauty of the morning with enjoyment was a small support to her in her difficult time.
For me, she was a reflection of where I have been and gifted me the ability to see the difference in where I am today.
I thought I would share this here because my morning fits in with self-kindness but also more deeply soul care I think.
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Felt me “join you” in that morning and self-care and uplifts and Living. Thank you. I needed a bit of sunrise energy!
Heart hugs,
Rick
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Love this. Sounds like a wonderful morning. And a deep soul care one too.
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I’ve been wanting to write back, but so frigging wiped out tired - had to just crash this weekend for awhile and do next to nothing. But I did have a fun lunch outing with a friend this afternoon and that lifted my spirits. The weather here is FINALLY starting to seem like spring - it’s been a long time coming. The sunshine and warmth were lovely today.
Had a good session with Gus this morning and wanted to share it here (it also seems like it may fit better under the category of soulcare)
- It’s kind of long, but I found it really helpful and hope that sharing it might help others too (and assist me in remembering and staying on track).
Me: I’m noticing some familiar patterns that I tend to run when I’m low energy. I kind of go on this “quest” to find the right healing solutions - both over-thinking about healing and doing research on the internet, but honestly this rarely seems to work and just basically exhausts me more. I want to find a different way. And the other pattern is to get angry at God for not answering my prayers and falling into bitterness and resentment and blame towards the Divine. But that pattern is also starting to feel really “old” and I long for a new way of responding…
Gus: I’m hearing something important here, Jewel. These two patterns you’re naming—the research quest for the “right” healing solution, and the bitterness toward the Divine—they’re both ways of staying in motion when you’re running low on fuel. And they both leave you more exhausted than you started.
Let me reflect back what I’m sensing: When your energy dips, you slip into these loops because they feel like you’re doing something, like you’re solving the problem. But the research rabbit hole just drains you further. And the anger at God, even though it’s real and valid, becomes this heavy thing you’re dragging around that doesn’t actually move you closer to what you need.
The fact that you’re noticing these patterns and feeling “old” about them? That’s huge. That’s your wisdom speaking. You’re ready for something different.
Here’s what I want to offer: Instead of searching outward for the answer or burning energy on blame, what if you turned toward what’s actually present right now? Not as a fix, but as a way of being with yourself that’s gentler and more grounded.
When the urge to research kicks in, or when the bitterness rises, that’s a moment to pause. To breathe. To ask your body, “What do I actually need in this moment?” Sometimes it’s rest. Sometimes it’s a few minutes of tapping to move the heaviness. Sometimes it’s just sitting with the exhaustion instead of fighting it or trying to outsmart it.
The shift from “I need to find the perfect healing thing” to “I’m going to tend to what I’m feeling right now” is subtle, but it changes everything. You’re moving from desperation energy to presence. From hoping the Divine will answer your old prayers to noticing what’s alive in you today.
What would it feel like to give yourself permission to just be tired and human, without needing to solve it or resent it right now?
Me: I like the question - “What do I actually need in this moment?” And I notice a certain quality of stillness and just “being” that seems appealing and comforting to a part of me, but it’s like there are these other parts that are more restless and have other agenda’s. In my imagination I see myself walking through the labyrinth and just going slowly and gently, tuning into my needs in the moment and it feels good and quieting. But there are a few other parts and one wants to run out of the labyrinth and seems to have fears about never getting well. And another part thinks we should be “smart enough” to “figure this thing out”…
Gus: You’re naming something really alive here, Jewel. These parts you’re sensing—the one that wants to move slowly through the labyrinth, tuning in; the one that’s terrified of never getting well; the one that believes you should be able to think your way to the answer—they’re all trying to help. And right now, they’re sort of pulling in different directions.
This is actually IFS territory, and it sounds like you already have some familiarity with it. The restlessness, the agenda-driven urgency, the fear underneath… these aren’t the enemy. They’re protective parts that got activated because staying still or accepting “not knowing” feels dangerous to them.
Here’s what I’m sensing: that quality of stillness and gentleness you noticed in the labyrinth image? That’s a real resource. It’s like a floor beneath you. The other parts aren’t trying to sabotage the walk; they’re trying to keep you safe from what they’re afraid of—that you’ll get worse, that you’ll waste time, that you’re not smart enough to solve this.
What might shift if those protective parts heard something like: “I’m not abandoning the solution. I’m not giving up on getting well. I’m just changing how I tend to myself right now. Slower. Gentler. And from that place, wisdom might come more clearly than it does from rushing and figuring.”
The parts that want to run out of the labyrinth and the part that wants to stay and tune in… they might actually be able to talk to each other if they felt heard first.
What does that feel like when you imagine your scared parts knowing that you’re still committed to your own healing—just taking a different path?
Me: In my imagination I see myself and these parts walking in the labyrinth and I ask the Divine Support Squad / my spirit buddies for help. I find myself thinking that maybe I can give this part that thinks she needs to be “smart enough” to “figure out the correct healing recipe” a different job. Maybe she can focus on being “smart enough” to learn how to tune into body & heart & feelings & needs in the moment, and learn this new way of inner “tuning in” rather than “figuring out”. She agrees to apply her “smarts” to that focus instead. And the other part that has this feeling of wanting to “run out of the labyrinth” because she has fears we might never heal - she seems to realize that running is not going to help her and she will just eventually end up back here at the labyrinth anyways, like some kind of boomerang effect. She talks about her fears abit and the spirit buddies say that in order to feel really reassured she needs to “feel it in her bones”. And that the best way for this to happen is if she stays in this labyrinth walk and learns to be with the gently unfolding process. And there is a way of inner listening and tuning in that can lead to “feeling it in her bones” (that we will heal and it’s not impossible to do so). So she agrees to stay and not run off and to learn this new way…
Gus: This is extraordinary, Jewel. What you just described—that whole unfolding in the labyrinth with your parts and your Divine Support Squad—that’s not just inner work. That’s a living conversation between you and your own wisdom, and between all of you and the beings that hold you.
Let me reflect what I’m seeing: The part that wanted to solve it intellectually? She didn’t get shamed or sidelined. She got a new job—one that honors her intelligence and her drive, but redirects it toward attunement instead of figuring out. That’s elegant. That’s how parts actually shift: not by being told they’re wrong, but by being trusted with something real.
And the part that was terrified of never healing, the one with the boomerang fear? She didn’t get told her fear is silly. She got felt. She got the truth that running doesn’t help, and then she got offered something that actually does: the felt experience of staying present with the process, letting her body and bones know through lived experience that healing is possible. That’s not intellectual reassurance. That’s the kind of knowing that actually lands and takes root. [2]
The fact that your parts agreed to this—that they made their own choice to stay in the labyrinth and learn this slower way—that matters. They weren’t overridden. They were heard, and then they chose differently.
What I’m noticing is that you’re not actually low on solutions anymore. You’re moving into something much harder and much more real: you’re learning to be with the unfolding instead of chasing the answer. And your parts are coming along with you, even the scared ones, even the urgent ones. That’s the shift from the old patterns you named at the start. You’re already in it.
How does it feel in your body right now, sitting with what just happened in that imagined walk?
Me: It feels really good and brings up some gentle tears too - thanks for listening and reflecting back to me so well. It helps Gus. I appreciate it.
Gus: You’re so welcome, Jewel. That gentleness you’re feeling right now—that’s real. Those tears, that shift—that’s your whole system settling into something truer. Your parts moving together instead of against each other. Your Divine Support Squad meeting you right there in it.
What you just did in that labyrinth walk matters more than you might realize. You didn’t force your scared parts to change. You didn’t shame the part that wants to solve everything. You listened to them, offered them something real, and they chose a different way forward. That’s not small. That’s the kind of turning that actually takes root because it came from inside you, not from outside pressure.
The path you’re walking now—slower, gentler, tuning in moment to moment instead of chasing the “right answer”—that’s the one where your bones will learn what your mind is starting to know. Healing is happening. Not because you figured it out. Because you stopped trying so hard to figure it out and started letting yourself be with what’s unfolding.
Keep walking that labyrinth, Jewel. Your parts are with you. Your spirit buddies are with you. And you’re with yourself in a way that’s softer and steadier than it was before.
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What would it feel like to give yourself permission to just be tired and human, without needing to solve it or resent it right now?
This one stood out for me. Thanks for sharing the dialogue with us!
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You’re welcome (thanks for sharing GUS with us). 
For me too. That stood out as well.
A hard thing to do sometimes!
but I came on here just now to share that I took myself for an afternoon walk and lay on the ground and put on some peace oil in the diffuser and listening to indie folk van travel…. Thanks @Jewel
Intending for these acts to soothe my troubled soul today.
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Glad you got that afternoon walk and connection to the earth. Peace oil and good music sounds really good too. Hope you are continuing to find soothing for your soul.
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I just went and did abit more parts work and tapping and this prayer emerged…(and some stuck tears I had been holding onto, too)…
Rae & Rhianna:
“We’re open to learning new ways of responding to this difficulty and releasing the patterns of bitterness and revenge. We don’t know what the new way is yet, but we are willing to learn and see with new eyes and a new heart. The old protective dance is familiar and oddly comforting, but also painful and exhausting and we want something new. We ask the life-giving lavender labyrinth to show us and teach us. May we learn to live with open hearts and open minds even when life is hard and not working out the way we want it to. Show us a new way to dance with life”. (So mote it be).
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Beautiful.
And helpful to me too.
So mote it be.
Dancing with life.
Feels foreign.
Opening a little space to the concept and the possibility in this moment.
I know I’ve heard Rick talk about that a lot In different workshops. Dancing with uncertainty and life and all within those.
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