It’s ok, it’s not ideal

*just my self reflection (or thinking out loud). Thought might just put her to keep myself accountable to my own reflections hah!

I find this phrase quite comforting…We don’t live in an ideal world. Well, everybody knows that… but wouldn’t it be sooo good if we did?

Yesterday I spoke with Rick and he shared with me about concept of “he/she/they did ____, I would rather ____”. It feels great to be able to start entertaining greater imaginative situations that we believe we would. So some of the things that I wished I would rather do if I had the chance to change things, would be:

  • Being a patient and caring supervisor that lets their interns share their problems freely to me. And even if I can’t help them then and there, I want them to know that they are still heard regardless and understood of their struggles even for just a little bit. be comforted that their work is supported when they are struggling, and be pointed out of their mistakes with care, compassion and gentleness.

  • Be considerate with other people’s music journey and my own. Even if there are those that are better than me and it makes me feel inferior being around them, I would rather be able to have the space to communicate that I am where I am, and they need to understand that need of mine. So that they will not ignore my feelings of inferiority.

  • Be more understanding with people that struggles with eye contact anxiety and all the anxiety, fear and awkwardness that they experience from it. I would give them the space to not have to look at me when they’re not ready to do so. I might’ve always been hurt in the past that the eyes have always been seen like a devil’s eyes, or just attach trouble out of them. But now I’d rather treat people with the respect even if that means not looking at one’s eyes. If that’s where they are in their life, I don’t want to push them to be sociable. I might encourage them to start slow, maintain eye contact with people that feels the most comfortable to them. And slowly move towards other people…

  • focus on what matters as to what I’m learning; that is expressing myself through singing, playing guitar, and teaching it. I would rather be encouraging to myself that I am making my mark in my craft and giving myself the free space to be myself in spite of fears and worries from the world.

Then again, the truth of the matter is that, there is no ideal world… no “I would rather”, because in reality, daydreaming ideal situations may many times leave us feeling very disappointed. But then again, I think I can see where @Rick is taking this idea. To perhaps, slowly make the real world, more ideal for ourselves… think more ideally and allowing us to create more possibilities to make situations more ideal…? And maybe eventually, we can start creating the ‘ideal’ reality…!

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It’s ok. It’s not ideal.
Of course!

Idea-l.

Can we think of anything that could not be improved, where we might collect Ideas and engineer a way to change something to make it fit that Idea-l?

It’s true that most of us benefit from being able to accept where things are NOW… and also keep the co-creative juices alive to imagine a sweeter physical and emotional world, one where there’s more eustress than distress, more co-creation than destructive competition, where we can recognize someone’s unique totem of talents and not feel “inferior” if ours is different shaped and sized.

This covers the ideal part.

The “It’s ok” comes from a situation even if hard or unpleasant is a place where we are getting needs met: need for learning, need for growth, need to make money to support ourselves right now.

I mentioned to you that I would never work in a law office. I did, though, as a consultant for word processing. By seeing the stress and insanity in the way they were doing things, I applied myself to make their life a bit easier. And while I would still never ever work in a law office (I’d gladly pick up trash for minimum wage before I worked in a law office ), when I was there as a consultant I learned so much about workplace issues, about efficiency, about the flow of documents in a law firm.

With that knowledge, I started a newsletter, The WordPerfectionist. MANY of the early articles were tuned towards people with “no time” in law offices, and my subscriber base grew to 50,000 – many of them law firms. But when I was working first in their stress pit, I did not know at all it would lead to this – only that being there was somehow adding to my professional awareness and skill.

Today I continue to build attitudes and concepts towards emotional freedom and business choices. My experience as a consultant for lawyers, accountants, and other firms while distant by decades allows me to understand the drive for freedom many employees have.

Was the time there ideal? No. Was it ok, because I was paid acceptably well and I knew I was building my totem of talent? YES!

If it had just sucked or was damaging me, I believe in finding another place to build our talents that sucks less – that actually IS okay right now.

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Thank you @Rick. Have been pondering over your words these few days and there’s just so much wisdom and insights I’m seeing from it. Thank you for it all​:pray:t2::pray:t2::pray:t2::raised_hands:t2:

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