I look around me, and it hurts that I can’t do anything

From the climate change billboards, to the Myanmar coup, to the tv dramas that show the dramatization of murder, rape and mistreatment of the innocent, I just can’t seem to wrap my head around all these pains of the world…

Helping others is already a struggle (because of limiting beliefs that I’ve had from my mum, telling me that helping others is a waste of time and energy when you can’t even take care of yourself)…

And now, I can barely do anything about it. Sure… I’ve heard quotes that describes that if everyone is able to start small, and make bits of positive change, a collective effort can change the world. But I can’t even get myself to change, and I’m still in the midst of resolving all these internal mental chaos/traumas before I can even think about helping others…

And even then, the world will still be broken, and left unjust, and traumatized… It’s scary for me, because when I see someone’s hardship, or even just think about it, I envision all their struggles and their pains, and if I were to go through any of their (worse-off) problems e.g. victims of sexual abuse, human trafficking, sex slaves, living in war-torn countries etc. , I wouldn’t be able to handle any of them…!

How can I ever find peace or rationalize these confusions when people are struggling so much in their lives?

Resolving “all” ?

Dear Heart, that doesn’t feel useful as a pre-requisite for helping others, nor is it true.

See, you post this here, and it does help others. Even if your question is “unresolvable” it is a seed, a point where people (like me) can consider what you’re saying from your vantagepoint (age, location, environment, upbringing, vision, desires, sensitivities, and more) and we can explore… even explore this together.

I believe there is almost always something we can do. Indeed, if we look at cohesive tribes that are barely surviving, there is a LOT they do for each other! We’ve gotten focused on “Taking Care of #1” and then, maybe, offering a few crumbs to others.

I know that being kind to others doesn’t have to cost anything. I know that being generous with a smile, or understanding, or compassion, doesn’t have to even take much time!

I was the sickest when… I was “too aware” of the suffering outside of what I could cope with. It “froze” me to the point where my heart stagnated and so did my healing energy.

I believe those people who’s heart bleeds for others are, by definition, the healers of our age. BUT… and it is a Big Butt (cough)…

We do not teach healer-types where and how to focus their energy.

My sense is that I need (and must practice) the art and skill of:

  • Allowing awareness of need (and yes, suffering)
  • Being able to focus on where and who is in my life that I CAN actually touch and connect with. If I am aware and open, and “allow” me to match up my skills with other’s needs, then I can and will be empowered.
  • Practice letting “The Universe” and “God” and “Others who are called” tend to that which is overwhelming to me. Part of that is knowing and reaffirming what matters to me, and contributing to the development of that.

You and I do not even share a continent yet, here we are. We care about each other. We’re sharing what matters… and reflecting on what’s HARD (even impossible to grasp).

Humans have always all ways struggled. I know people way way up on the privilege scale who are dying. Others who are utterly poor who radiate such joy. Suffering has always been with us. And there have always been people out just for themselves.

It’s a blessing to me to know you, a fellow Caring Being. It’s my hope that some of what I’ve learned that has helped me to focus so that I’m actually here, spending time connecting with you, sharing in a way that – who knows! – maybe some other potent Caring Being will get a chance to recalibrate, to bring their energy closer in where it can feel more abundant.

An image comes to mind. If I have $100, and I share it with 4 other people, we can all five eat today. If I share it with 1000 people, uhhh, that’s a dime each. It’s not “nothing” but it also isn’t going to feed us.

Whether money or love or attention, consider tending to 4-5, or maybe 10. Start there. Love and include yourself in the feeding and fueling. Share connection and heart and humanness.

When we do, the “It hurts that I can’t do anything (!)” is revealed as an untruth. You can do something. You are doing something. Even asking and sharing the question is SOMETHING.

What else would please you to do? To be?


Thanks Rick! It really is comforting to hear the appreciative words of another “caring” being! And yes, the example of splitting the $1000 to that 4-5 is apt. I’m no Jesus, and it’s true that I don’t have that capacity to feed that 5000 that he did… and yeah, I’ll be happy to know that this post is able to help someone else too…! And also, I realize that many of the concepts that you’ve brought out, such as doing whatever we can, or simply trying our best to help those next to us are things that I’ve read from self help books, advice from people, but those advices are usually quite shallow and there’s no clarity in them since I am also suffering… and here you’ve made things a lot clearer for me, how to help, how to think about helping others, and also being aware of my and other’s needs… and all the other knowledge that you’ve brought up…

Thanks Rick!:pray:t2::pray:t2::pray:t2: