This art of idiotic dancing reminds me of @Rick’s sharing of dancing on the treadmill, where he said “you looked like you’re the only one having the most fun here!”
Music always got me dancing like an idiot until I let people shut me down with the way they would look at me . Even when I sat and listened to music my body would move on it’s own as I was feeling the music. I could dance alone where no one saw me and it was fun. I did have some special friends who would throw parties and I could let loose around them. These are some good memories. I smoked pot too a bit back then, then the dancing got even crazier but oh so much fun. Thank you @Jun_Rong for sharing this. I think I’m going to copy the You Tube link and write a blog using it.
I hope more and more we “normalize” celebration through movement that feels good as a personal and communal activity. So much of our discomfort gets held in the body and is designed to be released through spontaneous movements – not just choreographed or “nice looking performances.” Eeeek.
@Angelsloveyou I’m so happy for you that those things happened for you!
In my world, no… Just shame, guilt and all kind of crap. I really wished I could dance like an idiot without any judgment, and care, and just be in utter bliss in that experience. Just yesterday, I’ve had a jam session with some friends over some rock songs, and I was honestly the only one just bobbing and bouncing with the groove as we played the music together. I mean yeah, people were kind of “trying” to enjoy the music by moving a little here and there, but they were generally just kinda stiff and “lifeless IMO”. I felt like I was the one that was really “enjoying” it, but seeing that people weren’t moving, I kind of felt a little wasted and uncared for enjoying myself. It’s like dancing in a business conference room, the space and atmosphere just felt so constricted!
I wished they could see how much fun music was to me, and that I gave lesser care about how well everyone played but so much more about how much you enjoyed it. Enjoying music “should’ve” been devoided of the factor of your talent or how well you played (I mean, sure, I played pretty well, and that gave me the confidence to dance with the music), but so much of how you moved with it.
But it seemed like people were so uptight about how well they played, how well they sang, what time they had to go home, or whether or not we sounded well together as a band. Sure, these are important, but I felt deeply sad that this is the world (people) that we’ve become. Lifeless and boring for the reason of practicality. People can’t have fun because they don’t play well enough, and complain about how much they suck at their playing. They get depressed about their lack of skills, yet get so arrogant when they are way too competitive. Nobody really enjoys music for music’s sake. It’s as though the caveat for enjoyment lies in competency and capability, and that’s just so suffocating for people like me who just want a good time getting drunk in the ensemble of melodies and rhythms.
Yet I can never shut off the noise unless I leave. I can’t be drunk in music when I’m subconsciously expected to perform a certain way.
You’ve described ‘the problem’ so eloquently Jun Rong!! I have many times gone down the rabbit hole of 'because I’m serious about music that means music is serious’…piff paff I say!! We can take playfulness seriously (i.e: acknowledge and ‘feel into’ its importance to Thriving) and not diminish the playful nature of ourselves. It’s very seldom that I jam and don’t go into a playful mood…that’s where my music lives in me. I expect to make ‘mistakes’ as a result…and I’m okay with that. ‘Mistakes’ are evidence that I’ve got my priorities aligned properly.
I think, based on my own experience, that institutionalizing music (going to school to learn music) is often part of the problem…it can suck the playfulness out of it. Getting a degree in music is almost a kind of oxymoron to me…getting a degree in playfulness…WTF!! That sounds like the exact opposite of playfulness to me. And I bet those people you were jamming with have the very same daemons as you that want to come out and dance and it’s likely that you’re just more in touch with those instincts in yourself. I would bet that if you let a little wiggle out once in a while that the others may begin to thaw and un-freeze their own inner yearnings to move…it could be an interesting ‘social experiment’ for you…tease it out of them…give them permission…in a sense that’s what they (us) are waiting for, permission to be fully human…you don’t need to go ‘full Elvis’ but I wonder if some little head or foot movement would invite the others…it might be fun to play with that and observe what happens.
I so understand what you wrote and felt. Yes the atmosphere can feel so constricted for sure. There was this fun church I used to go to where we were encouraged to get up and dance around the room. I had to get up and dance around the room. I couldn’t help myself nor did I try. I felt sorry for those who sat there looking stonily straight ahead. The people I was with thought this wasn’t what people are supposed to do in church. People are so afraid to let go. I guess their primitive brain feels it isn’t safe, people will judge me, laugh at me or who knows what. Heck my primitive brain did that to me too and dammit I actually listened to it.
Have you ever heard people say, “oh they’re having too much fun?” I read or hear this a lot. What a shame. At least we can post it here and share how we feel about what we experience or don’t let ourselves do. I’m not even sure I could let myself completely let loose now. I might be thinking people would say, “Oh look at that old lady, what’s she trying to prove.” LOL But maybe they’d say, “hey that old lady knows how to have fun.” Who knows?
Yes, Jun_Rong – and what a shame to suffocate that kind of joyous, untamed expression of Love of Life, eh?!!
Here’s an idea: See if you can find a video of a live Rolling Stones concert and show that to your self-conscious buddies – ain’t nobody gonna tell Mick to sit down and ‘be nice’ . And it just might shake them out of their comas!
Keep dancing, Jun_Rong! There are lots of people in the world who NEED that kind of life-affirming energy!
Wow thanks Glenn. You put it so well I might just remember this again when my spontaneous long term brain calls for its use again!
I agree with so many of those points! But the part on rigidity is real. And I’d say the idea of experimenting has definitely been tried yet failed (sorta). It’s just I’ve sometimes decide to come to terms with not investing or giving out my energy to those who wouldn’t change. And maybe it’s also because I’m still operating in that space of “lack” and always expect desirable attention and reaction from others to fill my own sense of void. But still, I think there’s still truth in that when we give out, energy is somehow still depleted from us (unless the energy can be derived from something more abundant-ful). So I kind of have to learn to be playful, rather than to do playfulness. And make it a state of thriving rather than a state of receiving attention. That means if I move, and influence others to do so. That’s awesome. But if I move and everyone else can’t because of societal stigma or restrictions, then that’s not going to stop me from reflecting my joy in the bleak of other people’s darkness and rigidity.
@Angelsloveyou ohh mann… if only the dogmatic teachings could’ve been removed from the joyous dancing… I rmb back in church when I was the one of the few raising my hands and singing praises, and everyone else was just stoning too…! I nvr really understood why people wouldn’t. But ofc, back then I was really just trying to get more attention from others though…
@JoPayne Thank you! I’m always left in awe and emotions whenever I see live concert videos and how magnetic both the performers and audiences are… incomparable to the boring ways that my bandmate plays!
Jun_Rong, You have come so far and I invite you to hear the words of Albert Einstein, “You never fail until you stop trying.” BE in your music no matter!!
Thank you so much @Norene Love to you and your art too!