THAT question gives me tingles! Because… I don’t know! It activates my curiosity. I feel more alive now that I did even moments ago.
We’re beings that are not designed to ask questions we already know the answers to. (It’s one of the reasons I am so glad I didn’t become a lawyer like my ancestors were!)
Before writing to y’all this morning, I turned to ChatGPT. I asked it to explore how to talk about using Augmented Intelligence (AI) to unleash curiosity and help us to thrive. While nothing it came back with is what I’m sharing here, the “dialogue” and exploring helped me tune into the subject in fresh ways.
In the same way my daughter Rebecca was here for a few days, and we used Midjourney to explore images for her post-doc work presentations. Hundreds of images later, we had some Pixar bacteria and watercolor images that felt… like co-creations. That would enhance the curiosity and delight even around deeply scientific explorations.
AI is going to change so much. SO MUCH.
Do you know the key ingredient that will empower AI to genuinely unleash human potential?
That’s right, it’s Curiosity!
Your questions. Your unique-to-you ways of seeing the world, going deeper into what matters to you, and actively choosing from options presented to you.
Uhh, but this isn’t how most of us were trained. School taught us there were things we needed to know… because there would be a TEST.
Ugh. Go away. I want to distance myself from such boring industrial sludge ways of slogging in the world.
Instead, let’s see where curiosity can lead. Let’s assert that “knowing the answer” is just not all that creative. Let’s embrace wonder as more precious than true/false and right/wrong.
Does this make you tingle? (Perhaps with a little trepidation mixed in?)
Wonder-full! Join Cathy and me. We’ll do some EFT Tapping to unleash the bindings and consider questions that you can bring to your life to really thrive in ways that are right for YOU.
Curiosity takes safety, energy, presence, and freedom. No wonder it is so often bottled up and self-limited!
We stop ourselves from being naturally curious. We do if we’re… TOO busy… or NEED to get this, that, and the other thing DONE before we let ourselves be “free” to explore…
Each step we take to free up our creativity brings fresh energy to us. Our life force blossoms and fruits. We notice more that is pleasing to us… which helps our intuition guide us towards the people, places, and experiences that are a YES.
Curiosity is amazing.
Why then do we fail to heed the whispers of curiosity calling us, treating them as distractions or insignificant instead of a trailblazer guiding us to exciting new knowledge and understanding?
- Fear of the unknown will stop us.
- Avoiding any “extra” risk will do that, too.
- Self-doubt? Fear of others’ reactions? So hard to be curious with that kind of noise.
It’s why we believe Unleashing Curiosity brings us closer to being emotionally free and thriving. It’s both an act (to unleash) and a real skill (to hold space for curiosity as we move through the world).
Join Cathy and me. We’ll do some EFT Tapping to unleash the bindings and consider questions that you can bring to your life to really thrive in ways that are right for YOU.
A Real Skills Workshop for: Adapting to Change with Power and Grace
If you’re new to tapping, we have a free EFT Tapping Course here.
We deeply appreciate (and it helps us keep going!) financial support for these events… If you find great value in them and can pay extra before or after the event… THANK YOU!
Appreciate You! Our inbox is open!
Rick & Cathy ~ ThrivingNow
Your Emotional Freedom Coaches
Schedule private sessions here
P.S. Adira says, “I’m curious about ALL the things… There’s so much to explore. When was the last time you sat and dug in the wet sand?”
We welcome your insights, ah-ha’s, and sharing. Please! Click [Reply]
Click for Computer Generated Transcript
Curiosity Unleashed! Thriving Amidst Change
[00:00:00] Curiosity unleashed, thriving amidst change.
[00:00:03] This is a real skills workshop and we’re wondering what you’re gonna take from it, how it’s gonna activate your curiosity, how you might feel the choker chain getting a little looser if you were unleashed by people from your past who your curiosity about what mattered to you was put down, judged, criticized.
[00:00:29] Why are you interested in that? Yeah, and the good news is, is that being curious I think is a skill. It may have been something that we’re born with. I certainly see it in my two year old, very intensely. I see it in my nine year old. I see it in myself when I’m pretty calm and confident and clear.
[00:00:48] There’s a kind of a naturalness, but wow. Our. Our day to day sometimes shuts that down, and trauma from our past can make it so the curiosity for us doesn’t come as naturally as it might have otherwise. And we just know that. The good news is, is that that can shift. And my co-creator today, I’m very curious what, how she’s gonna get this started for us.
[00:01:12] Kathy Tuli, I’m Rick from Thriving now, Kathy. I love the topic because I think curiosity is one of the foundations of us living a thriving life. So if we don’t have curiosity, we just kind of do what other people told us to do. We kind of go in the patterns of what we were, we saw other people do, and some of the greatest joys I’ve ever had have come from.
[00:01:35] Huh. I wonder what else there is. I wonder if I could do this other thing. I wonder if I could do this differently. And I do think human innovation comes from, huh? Okay, so we’ve had fire. Can we contain it a different way? Can we use it a different way? Can we, like, how can we make our world different and better?
[00:01:54] And so I think curiosity is ready, one of the cornerstones to a really thriving life. And yet, as we’re gonna talk more deeply about, a lot of us have had the curiosity kind of beaten out of us, or leashed as, as Rick put for the, for the title. We’ve really learned to leash it to fit, fit in, and feel safe with our families of origins.
[00:02:15] Or if we have physical, you know, we’re, we’re depleted physically, whatever it is, we’ve learned to harness that and like shove it back in the corner. And so we’re gonna talk about ways as we go through this, where we can, we’ll do some tapping to release some of the healthy curiosity and talk about ways you can baby step that and recreate more curiosity in your life.
[00:02:37] Mm-hmm. And just, uh, little thing that. Um, as we were exploring this, , I’ve often thought of curiosity as being an intellectual pursuit because, well, I’ve got a good brain. It’s curious, it, we’ll look at things and be curious, but also curiosity can be emotional and physical. So just to get us into our body for a moment, imagine, be curious if it, you’re open to it.
[00:03:08] How is Gravity working with your body right now? Like, if you move and shift from one butt cheek to the other, a smile with one cheek and not with the other. You look a little demented, but it’s ok. Yeah. Yeah. And see, I’m, yeah. Um. And, and curiosity can kill the cats. I wanted to share it in the, in the chat.
[00:03:41] So that’s a belief and it’s often, uh, in environments where survival and staying in your very tight on the leash in the frame, um, that can be a shortcut way of saying shut down those parts of yourself because you may, um, go someplace out of your curiosity, which, um, Is dangerous. I think that’s when parents are overwhelmed or they may have been raised that way themselves.
[00:04:16] Uh, they learn to shut down. Curiosity AD is very curious and she gets into a lot of things and the parents have to be patient and follow her and tell, teach her not to write on the walls. Like, I’m curious, does this marker right on the walls Okay, honey, that’s not the appropriate place. Um, there’s a lot of extra energy that goes into dealing with curious kids and for many of us, our parents were, were pretty depleted and didn’t have the energy, so they kind of shut that down so we would follow what they had already prescribed for us.
[00:04:48] It made it life easier for them. Mm-hmm. So part of the real skill for me is that curiosity, um, has a time and place Curiosity killed. The cat is kind of like one of these really black and white. Don’t do that. Yeah. Um, curiosity, having a place. Uh, and having some wisdom around it is useful. So there are spaces that where curiosity and there are people where curiosity is like kryptonite to them.
[00:05:22] Um, there are people that cannot handle a question, a curious question. Some people can’t handle that when they’re overwhelmed. Some people can’t handle it if they don’t know the answer. Um, some of them just like their brain goes blah, and it’s painful for them to be asked questions. Uh, we’re emotionally, energetically, intellectually across a broad spectrum.
[00:05:48] And some of us had parents who just loved questions and curiosity. They celebrated it. Others like, No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Now notice I’m tapping my body. What is, are you curious if you know that we use eef T tapping, you know, oh, something’s coming up for Rick. Um, and he’s, he’s gently tapping these comfort points.
[00:06:17] These are called the, uh, collarbone points. We’re not gonna be teaching EFT tapping, but we have a free course that Kathy and I did. If you go to thriving now.com/tapping, you can get that. Um, so, um, I, yeah, I, someone asked a great question and I’d love to answer it if it’s okay. Yeah. Um, I put that link in the, in there.
[00:06:37] Um, someone said, I’ve, I’ve asked someone what they were curious about, and they gave me something like a, a, a list to-do list. What’s the difference between curiosity and have a li having a list of places you want to travel to, uh, maintaining fitness, et cetera. I think it’s comes down to the shoulds. So if I think I should visit, visit Egypt and Europe and like that’s what a proper person does or you know, like I have some should about it.
[00:07:04] I’m not being really curious. I’m following the footsteps of my, you know, what people taught me. So I grew, I was brought up, you should get married and have kids. That’s still something that’s very loud in my family and I was curious about how else people could live and I’m actually quite happy with my life, but, I think it’s, are they interested in the place or are they just checking something off a list?
[00:07:28] Um, am I’m curious what my body can do, how can I be fit and healthy as I get older? I’m curious what my body needs to do that, that’s a curiosity versus I must go to the gym three times a week and work out for an hour. So I think that there’s a, a different, the sh if we take the shit out of it and just let ourselves be like, huh, I wonder how I can do this, or I wonder how people can relate in a different way, then that’s, that’s in the curiosity.
[00:07:53] And I think the play, the exploration part of it is really good for humans. It keeps us young, it keeps us vital. Um, and it keeps life pretty interesting versus, oh, I’ve checked off all the things I should do now I’m gonna just, you know, retire and slowly decline if that, if that helps. I just said, I thought that was a really good question and.
[00:08:17] We learn from experiences as we relate with others. Um, we ask like, what are you curious about? And they might give us an answer. Um, and the cool thing about curiosity is that, Hmm, I wonder what they mean by that. I wonder what they’re wanting to experience emotionally, physically, in those places. So that’s where curiosity in relating and engaging with people, it may lead no, if their curiosity is pretty leashed up and muzzled, um, curiosity may mean, um, well I’m, I’m not just stuck.
[00:09:04] I do want to like go and do these things, but maybe they haven’t taken it deeper. That’s the cool thing about the groups that we’re a part of is that, um, we want to, to take this. Um, and if, you know, uh, right. So if curiosity to me means exploring and playful, um, and somebody gives me a list, I want to, uh, they’ve given me something that’s like, eh, eh, I don’t know what to do with this.
[00:09:38] I, what do I do with that? Well, again, part of this skill is, well, I feel a sort of overwhelmed exhaustion, um, repulsion from the answer I got. Okay. I’m curious what that means for me. Oh, you know, curiosity means play and there’s no play here. I wonder if they imagine that there would be play well. How would you like to play in those places?
[00:10:08] Well, I don’t tend to play, I tend to study. Oh, they’re intellectually curious. They’re not necessarily physio emotionally. Um, like I wanna skip along the canals of, uh, of Venice. Oh yeah. When I went, I went to Austria with my mom years and years ago, but she had, she had a list, a to-do list for travel, and she, we would literally go from museum to museum or spot to spot, and we’d spend 20 minutes in the place.
[00:10:39] It would take us, like by the time we got in and we would just have like 10, 20 minutes to look at the place and we had to run to the next. And I was exhausted, but it wasn’t also, there was no curiosity, so we had to check off. We had been to this museum, we saw this, we saw, it wasn’t like my, one of my favorite things to do to travel to a new country is to sit in a coffee shop and just watch people.
[00:11:00] How do they in, I’m curious, how do they interact differently? Like what are their customs or cultures differently, like that kind of thing? For me, like I’m sitting in a coffee shop, relaxing, not running anywhere, just watching people and engaging with the ones that engage. To me that feels like two very different worlds.
[00:11:17] And I imagine if you’re on this call, because we just, the me the fact that you, you, you’re curious about tapping means that you’re cur somewhat more curious person. Like when I found tapping, I was like, I’ll do anything if it’ll help me. If I have to dance naked in Times Square, sign me up if it’s gonna help.
[00:11:35] So, you know, like there was a, a place where the, the curiosity and the willingness to try different things. Cause I knew what had been tried before. I tried before, didn’t work. So if you’re here, we’re gonna guess that you have a pretty good dose of curiosity in your system. Mm-hmm. So, um, I want to, to.
[00:12:04] I wonder, what’s the best way to say this for me? Right here, right now? Oh, I wonder. Um, we’re gonna go and do some tapping around the stresses and uncertainties and self-doubts and judgments and things. Um, for me, a cornerstone change that means, oh, Rick’s life was going a certain way, and then there was a change.
[00:12:32] And what was that, what was that about? Um, it was including, I wonder mm-hmm. At the start of how I responded to a situation. So a situation would come up, I would get stressed. That’s my reaction. Pretty normal. I. Like the way my nervous system is wired, my, my stress response will kick in, um, on the, the quieting of that, which is where the tapping, just tapping my collarbones will start me on the, the pa a different path energetically.
[00:13:13] And there gets to be a place where the, the noise is quiet enough that I can ask, I wonder. Mm-hmm. So I’ve used that in airplanes where I, I really needed to get someplace and the flight was canceled. Tap, tap, tap. I wonder. And then I let my, my guidance, which is the physical, the emotional, and the intellectual parts of me build that in.
[00:13:46] I wonder if there’s another way to get there. Mm-hmm. I wonder what feels right to me to do right now? I wonder, and that is the, an activating spice for curiosity, because curiosity is about wonder and, and awe and exploration. Right. Well, I think it’s important to recognize too, that there is, if we don’t have the energy to, I wonder, there’s sometimes a really good reason.
[00:14:21] Maybe there’s something we need to heal or clear, but there can also be, so I had really bad bronchitis, uh, a week ago. Um, and I still was, I still went on my trip, but it was 1.3 miles from the rental car returned to my gate, and I could walk about 10 paces before I was completely out of breath because of bronchitis.
[00:14:41] And so I asked for a wheelchair. Now, I was not super curious about things. I was trying to take care of myself to get home. So, if you’re feeling yourself, not, you know, if you don’t have the resiliency emotionally, physically, intellectually, you don’t ha, you’re, you’re depleted. You’re gonna, your system is gonna naturally turn off curiosity.
[00:15:02] I was, I was not very curious, curious about the people around me. I wasn’t enga engaging in extra conversations. I wasn’t looking for what Rick said about finding another way there. I knew I needed some help, and so I was sitting there waiting and I, you know, I did get up and ask a couple times for someone to call them again.
[00:15:20] But if you’re finding yourself struggling with curiosity, like you’re not feeling very curious, the first thing to ask yourself is, do I have the resources to deal with? Unexpected cur. When we’re curious, we’re gonna try to take unexpected pathways, which means we may have to deal with unexpected things that happen.
[00:15:41] So, um, it’s useful to know do I have some resil resiliency? Do I have some reserves to deal with the unexpected here, or is my system very wisely saying, let’s not be curious, let’s just take care of survival and getting ourselves through this. Um, so it’s, I think that’s one of the important things to check off first is you don’t wanna push yourself into situations you’re not ready to handle if you’re really depleted, if you’re sick, or you’ve just had a big shock in your life of some kind.
[00:16:11] Yeah, that’s, that feels like a good place to. Practice our tapping. Yeah. Because, uh, emotional freedom to me says there are times when I do not have the resource to be curious. And it’s not because even my curiosity is leashed, my curiosity is lying on the ground with this tongue rolling out. Like there’s no way go without me.
[00:16:38] Yeah. Um, so would you like to lead a tapping for that? Yeah. As you would invite everyone that want, that feels good. Take a nice deep breath. If that feels good to your body. Just let yourself come here and now in this space, let the Facebook cats go off and do their thing. The laundry that you haven’t done yet, or I haven’t done yet, let’s just let it be.
[00:17:01] It’ll be there. When we get done with this. Invite you to bring your attention and focus here and just wiggle your toes. Fill your butt in the seat, karate chop. Even though I don’t always have as much curiosity as I’d like. Even though I don’t always have as much curiosity as I would like, sometimes that’s a protective mechanism.
[00:17:23] Sometimes that is a protective mechanism. I’ve had a lot of trauma. I’ve had a lot of trauma. I’ve been depleted. I’ve been depleted. I’ve been sick, I’ve been sick. Any of those things are enough to shut down some curiosity. Any of those things are enough to shut down my curiosity. Curiosity is a form of play.
[00:17:48] Curiosity is a form of play, and sometimes I don’t have the energy to play and sometimes I do not have the energy to play top of the head. I’m gonna respect that about myself. I am going to respect that about myself. I’ll ask myself if I have the energy to play right now, I’ll ask myself if I have the energy to play side of the eye, and if I don’t and if I don’t.
[00:18:15] Under the eye. Self-care is a great thing to do. Self-care is a great thing to do under the nose, and if I do have the energy to play and if I do have the energy to play Jen, but I don’t feel very curious and I don’t feel very curious, collarbone, there might be some things to tap on there. There definitely might be some things to tap on there under there, or some skills to practice and some skills to practice top of the head.
[00:18:42] I’d like to be curious when it’s right for my body. I’d like to feel curious when it’s right for my body and explore my world and explore my world. Let’s take a.
[00:18:58] So I think it’s just important to acknowledge that because sometimes I’ll take classes or whatever and they’re like, like, you must be whatever the class is trying to get you to do. And no, I think there’s times when curiosity is not the thing we should do if we’re really depleted, if we’re sick, we’ve had a big trauma, big stress.
[00:19:17] It might be just time to let ourselves rest and renew. And then as we get some energy, some recharge, then now might be the time to, to explore in, um, the Be What Matters course, which is available now on Thriving now.com/courses. Um, I’ve explored eagerness and if you re, if you participated in that, um, exploration with us, eagerness for me.
[00:19:44] Um, Started filling in its spectrum. So there’s the kind of the gentle eagerness, which is just like a little bit of a lean for forward and there’s a great, let’s go. Um, and on that spectrum, there’s a lot of different options and I feel drawn to share that curiosity when I’m depleted. There are times where it’s like, I just need to, and that’s what gets com That’s, that’s the prefix sentence.
[00:20:15] I just need to, which tunes me into my own physical, emotional needs in that moment to replenish myself. Yeah, I like that. Um, there’s a soft kind of like, I wonder what I need to do to take care of myself right now, which is sort of a, that’s not playful, but it is open, and that to me is saying I’m open to more than just the obvious default.
[00:20:45] Need or possibility here. And that’s on a spectrum again. Um, and I believe that even in the midst of, uh, of, of a really powerful situation, there can be like peaks where you’re in reaction. There can be peaks when you’re like, like, I have to be decisive. Um, and then there’s a moment of pause, excuse me.
[00:21:15] Where I wonder, um, is in our work with reprogramming the primitive brain, One of the things that, that neurologically happens is the primitive brain holds on until it starts feeling like there’s something else going on. It’s not an immediate threat. I wonder if you practice that as a skill in good times and, and times which are like, uh, um, your primitive brain will say, oh, this is a wonder moment and can let go of some of its leash on your options.
[00:21:57] Um, curiosity for me is a doorway into me knowing that I have some choice that feels more free to me. So, Um, I wanted to address, it’s, it’s a little off topic, but someone said, was asking about other people’s curiosity about my life and it can feel, they said they can feel dangerous and triggering and they’re asking questions about my life and other people in my life and this and that.
[00:22:23] And the questions don’t stop and go from one topic to another. Um, sometimes questions make people ask, make me feel curious and sometimes I feel like the person wants information from me and I think it’s fine to be curious, but also have boundaries so I don’t have to honor other people’s curiosity if it doesn’t feel right to me.
[00:22:43] Like I can say, no, I don’t wanna play this game. Or I maybe answer a couple questions and then I’m saying, I can say, Hmm, I’m noticing, I just don’t feel comfortable with these questions. So, People can be, some people that are nosy or wanna gossip, we can often pick up the tone of that. Like, there’s hmm.
[00:23:01] Something going on there. Um, and we can deflect or we can, we can not answer. We can say, I’m just not comfortable with this. That doesn’t mean we’re shutting down their curiosity. We’re not telling them they’re bad to wanna know. We’re just honoring that we, we don’t wanna play that particular game. Yeah.
[00:23:19] So either, yeah, it doesn’t, the best, the best play is when it’s a mutually agreeable. We’re playing together with other people in a way we want to, and people asking a lot of questions, being nosy or gossipy. That’s not a game I usually like to play, so I can say, no, thank you. Is there a different game you would like to play?
[00:23:39] Let’s see if there’s a yes there. Let’s do some tapping. Okay. Great hand. Uh, even though people do get to say no to my curiosity, even though people get to say no to their, to my curiosity, And I want them to, and I want them to, if it’s not right for them, if it’s not right for them, guess what? Guess what? I get to say no to their curiosity.
[00:24:06] I get to say no to their curiosity. It’s part of mutual freedom. It’s part of mutual freedom. Top of the head. I’m, I wonder if I get to say no to their curiosity. I wonder if I get to say no to their curiosity eyebrow. I don’t always want to answer their questions. I don’t always want to answer their questions, to be honest.
[00:24:27] Sometimes their questions do not come from curiosity. Sometimes their questions do not come from curiosity. Yeah, sometimes their questions are about control. Sometimes their questions are about control. No, sometimes their questions are about judgment. Sometimes their, their questions are about judgment.
[00:24:44] Jen, not all questions are curious. Questions. Questions are curious. Questions. Hold on. I get. To say no. I get to say no. And they do too. And they do too under the arm. I wonder what would happen. I wonder what would happen top of the head if I said, I’m curious why you want to know if I said, I’m curious why you want to know.
[00:25:09] It’s a great answer. Okay. I love that. Go ahead. Oh, it’s just, it said, sometimes people get annoyed with me when I have no answer for their questions, and it’s okay for other people to be annoyed. I think that we’re really brought, most of us are socialized that we should make everyone else happy, and it’s not my job or your job to make other people happy.
[00:25:31] If they’re annoyed, we’re probably gonna be okay. You know, if it’s an IRS agent, maybe you need and, or a lawyer or something, maybe you have to answer those questions. But generally, for most of us, like I like Rick’s quote, you, why, why is that so important to you? Why do you wanna know that? Um, and, and again, I can ask, I can say, why do you want to know that?
[00:25:51] As a defensive mechanism? Mm-hmm. That’s perfectly okay. But the energy of that is different than the curiously. Oh, someone’s asking me a question and if I say I’m curious, What, why do you want to know that? Yeah. Now that will tell me so much about their intention, their level of awareness, whether they’re just a, one of the personality types is the interrogator.
[00:26:26] Um, it is, there’s intimidators and, and interrogators. Some people just get into asking questions. There actually isn’t an end to that because you’re engaging their, that part of their personality, which is like, I just ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask. Um, and, you know, I wonder how to be in that dynamic in a way that feels better to me.
[00:26:54] Yes. Yeah. I’m, I wonder how you’d feel if I said, Hey, I’m just not in the mood for that, answering that question right now. Um, now notice the difference between. Saying, I’m not in the mood to answer that question right now. Um, I love it when people give me that kind of clarity. It’s like, oh. Now if you said to me, I wonder how you would feel if I said, I’m really not open to sharing that answer with you right now, Rick.
[00:27:31] I would be like, thank you. Well, I, my reaction is, you’re someone that can take care of themselves. Now, I’m, I’m emotionally savvy. It could be that. Well, I hear you, that you don’t want to answer that right now. I need some information in order to navigate my life right now. Um, you might or might not have it, that’s why I asked the question.
[00:28:00] If you say you don’t want to answer it, then I’ll just, I’ll move on and navigate the best that I can. Mm-hmm. Now, this kind of languaging obviously is taken some practice, it takes some skill. I sucked at this so bad. Um, I appreciate the teachers and the opportunities to, to practice this. Um, and if you feel like this, wow, this is really awkward.
[00:28:27] Know that there are, there are people that, um, are delighted to explore curiosity, especially if that you say something like, Hey, I’m feeling really curious. Would you. Be open to some questions about why that matters to you or what’s going on in your life. No, I’m really not open right now. Oh, thanks for taking care of yourself.
[00:28:53] Mm-hmm. We’re sharing some, some really powerful aspects to this, which are actually pretty simple. If somebody says no to your curiosity, responding with thank you for taking care of yourself is acknowledging that you’re walking in the world as somebody who wants people to say no when it is not their.
[00:29:15] Yes. That’s part of emotional freedom, and it makes it so much easier to claim that freedom for ourselves when we’ve practiced it with kids, with other people. Um, just saying like, the, the more that I do that with others, the more free I feel like to, to answer in that way. Go ahead, Kathy. No, I just, I, I practice with my cat.
[00:29:42] I practice in the mirror for a while. Like it’s all about that. And one of the things like. When we start going out in the world, if we’re curious, we might run into people that we haven’t handled this with before. Mm-hmm. And that’s where resiliency can come in. Um, because you know, like if I don’t, I don’t know about you, but if I’m really tired or not feeling well, I will order a meal.
[00:30:04] I know. Is something safe? I’m not gonna, that’s not the time I’m gonna go, huh? I wonder what this octopus and and pea shoot thing is. I’m gonna order the, the chicken parmesan that I know is safe and happy because I don’t have a lot of resilience. But, and when we go out, we don’t, curiosity is about going someplace new and we don’t always know what we’re gonna run into.
[00:30:25] It might be someone who’s kind of nosy and in our face that we haven’t built a relationship with yet. And we might have to have some of these skills as we go forward. I. And we’re, one of the things we’re we’ll talk about a little bit later is like, baby steps. Again, you don’t have to run out and go to Tahiti and stay there for five months, like you can go to the, a new grocery store.
[00:30:49] It’s all about building up the resiliency and helping yourself see that you can handle this, building your confidence in new places. Mm. Uh, the chat is open if something is specific coming up for you. Um, some feedback, some wisdom that you have about curiosity. Um, it’s one of the ways that we make the workshop collaborative, um, as you’ve noticed, we’ve been using that.
[00:31:18] go ahead. Are you trying? I was, I was gonna say, I’d love to go back to the beginning where most of us had some trauma around curiosity. We’re young, our parents were kind of shutting that down. Um, again, it does, children that are curious and it adventuresome are a lot harder to handle. They’re more effort generally.
[00:31:39] Um, so a child that’s traumatized and quiet and doesn’t ask for anything, uh, is generally less work for our parents. Um, not that that, I mean, if you’re trying to raise really healthy children, um, we want them to be curious and have lots of exp exploration energy. But for many of us, our parents were not trauma informed.
[00:32:00] We didn’t, you know, our parents didn’t know any better. They were trying to kinda, kids should be quiet and, you know, not, you shouldn’t be seen or heard, just kind of do your thing. So, I invite you, if you notice there were places where you got curious and you kind of got slapped down, like, what’s coming to mind now?
[00:32:17] I was, I was seven and my sister was six, and we had just moved into a new house and my dad had been painting the shutters, um, for the house. And he gone, he, he was really busy, so he hadn’t painted them. So we decided we were gonna help out and we were gonna, we were gonna see if we could paint them for him.
[00:32:34] And we did. We painted them beautifully. We just painted them with the wrong color paint. And he was very, very angry about that because we didn’t have a lot of money. The painter was gone. He was gonna have to buy new paint to paint them the right color. So, um, I don’t think he meant anything really horrible about it, but he was definitely angry and he said, you know, we shouldn’t have explored on our own.
[00:32:57] We should have, you know, asked him before we did it. So think of a time when you were younger, when you were feeling curious or trying something new and maybe you got kind of stomped on a little bit and let’s just do a little tapping. If we can invite you to take a nice deep breath
[00:33:17] karate chop. Even though I wanted to explore in those moments, even though I did want to explore in those moments, I was even kind of proud of myself about it and I was even kind of proud of myself about it. It did not go the way I hoped it would go. It did not go the way I hoped it would at all, and they kind of stomped on me for it.
[00:33:38] And they stomped on me for it. I’m not feeling so good about curiosity anymore. I am not. I was not feeling good about curiosity anymore. That didn’t work out well at all. That did not work out well at all. Top of the head. They were unhappy. They were unhappy. I wrote, I didn’t do it as well as I meant to. I didn’t do it as well as I meant to side of the eye.
[00:34:05] But isn’t that what play is about? But isn’t that what play is about under the eye, learning how to do things better, learning how to do things better under the nose, practicing skills that we didn’t have yet. Practicing skills we didn’t have yet. So sometimes we’re gonna mess up. So sometimes I definitely messed up and I’m really sorry for the times.
[00:34:30] It caused people discomfort. And I’m sorry for the times that it caused people discomfort and, and now I’m an adult, so I can probably make better decisions and now I’m an adult. And theoretically I can make better decisions. I at least know the difference between beige and white paint. Yeah. I at least know the difference in paint colors.
[00:34:58] And just take a breath and see what’s what’s coming up for you. And if anyone wants to step forward and, and tap, this is a recorded call, but we’re glad to work with people too.
[00:35:16] Oh, someone shared. I do feel sometimes that it’s not always helpful to be curious. Curious. I feel like ignorance is bliss. I don’t know if it comes from some childhood trauma or just, I feel like you’re more at peace and not wor worth your peace of mind to be curious and have the, that information.
[00:35:35] That’s a curious topic. Um, I think there’s times when it’s good to dive in and be aware and there’s times when, like, I don’t, I mean, I, I’m an engineer. I know how the engine in my car works, but I can’t repair it. I don’t want to learn how to repair it perfectly, can capable of, uh, taking it to the mechanic.
[00:35:55] So like, I think we get to choose where we direct our attention, um, and what we study. And cur, you know, if you’re talking about our political situation or medical situations, I think there’s times it’s good to know what’s going on and everybody gets to choose what their right level of information and resiliency is for them.
[00:36:21] When we’re um, when we’re curious about something, we are engaging with it, we’re relating with it dif differently. And so the ignorance is bliss can be around intellectual knowledge. Um, and I also notice as part of this curiosity, it isn’t leashing my curiosity to be clear that I know enough or I’m not interested, or to go deep into that, even though it’s noisy is going to be.
[00:36:57] Taking something deeper into my energy. And you said like, um, you can be curious and curious and curious about any subject. Flopper worms is something that you can explore forever. Um, what are they? Um, the same thing with any kind of situation. Um, any historical event. And so, to an extent, to me, in a thriving life, the filtering, the divine filtering of, you know, yeah, I could be curious about that, but I’m not, um, that’s different than blocking curiosity out of fear, um, rather than guidance.
[00:37:44] And so for me, the real skill is being able to discern, you know, I’m, I’m depleted, okay. I am. I have self-doubt. Okay. That’ll block curiosity. Um, I, there’s too much risk and I’m, I’m unwilling to go there. Uh, even something around like what to order from a menu, you know, uh, perfectly fine restaurant. But if they don’t have what I always come here for, and if I’m depleted and I don’t have a lot of resource, I would rather go to another restaurant maybe.
[00:38:18] Um, so yeah, it’s an opening and what we open to matters and doing that consciously with freedom, to me is a, a powerful place to be. Um, we have a hand raise. Would you like to work, work with them? You’re muted. Thank you. I was coughing, so I muted myself. Yes, I would love to. I’m asking you to unmute.
[00:38:49] Can, are you unmuted? Okay, good. Yes. Yay. Okay. Um, so I got a whole lot of the, you know, actually I sent Rick a message earlier that said my curiosity was crushed as a child. Happy, excited, eager to explore something new. Nope. Here’s why you don’t wanna do that, or how we refuse to support you in that. Yeah.
[00:39:12] And as you’re talking, I’m realizing that like a lot of the hardest part is like having nobody support me in that. And there’s almost this grief around that, like for all the experiences I miss cuz I, which I don’t mean to get off topic, so maybe I am. So we, no, this is totally on topic. The grief about not having been able to explore our curiosity when we were younger.
[00:39:35] That’s a, that’s absolutely in point. Okay, good. So, um, yeah, and I noticed that I. I will sometimes check in with, like, I’ll say, Rick, I’m thinking about doing this thing because I wanna be supported after if I, if it goes fubar, if it goes weird. And the thing is, I don’t really need to do that with Rick, cuz he loves me and I think he would support me even if I didn’t check in with him.
[00:40:00] But I had a history of that too. Like, you should have, you should have asked, you should have done it our way. You should have, there’s a lot of like reasons why they don’t have to support me now because I didn’t do the thing they asked or I didn’t do it their way. Does that make sense? Yeah. Okay. So when you take a, just take a breath and just see, like notice where in your body you feel this, this feeling of, um, I missed out on all these explorations.
[00:40:30] I missed out on this one. Yeah. It’s actually my heart hurts. Okay. Karate chap, even though I have this hurt in my heart, even though I have this hurt in my heart. For all the times I wanted to explore and couldn’t, for all the times I wanted to explore and was slapped down. Yeah, I’m acknowledging this grief.
[00:40:50] I’m acknowledging this grief. I’ve healed enough that I can look at it directly in the face. You healed enough. I can look at it right in the face and I can acknowledge that I missed out on some amazing experiences. I can acknowledge I missed out on amazing experiences, and I did the very best I could. I did the very best I could.
[00:41:09] Top of that, they didn’t support me to explore. They didn’t support me to explore I well. They actively shut me down. They actively, deliberately shut me down side of the eye. They probably didn’t feel very safe. They probably didn’t feel very safe under the eye. That’s pretty sad,
[00:41:30] right? You froze, so I said that you’re back. Okay. That that feels really kind of sad. Feels really kind of sad. Under the nose. They spread their fear to me. They spread their fears to me, chin, and I have all this grief now I have all this grief. Now collarbone. I want to explore differently. I want to explore differently under the arm, and I’m honoring that by being on this call, honoring that.
[00:41:58] By being on this call top of the head, I invite all the younger parts of me, invite all the younger parts of me eyebrow, the ones that really wanted to explore, the ones that really wanted to explore outta the eye and got shut down real hard and got shut down really hard. Yeah. I invite them to notice that we have choice now.
[00:42:18] You invite them to notice that we have choice. Now under the nose we can start exploring. We can start exploring chin. I can support myself. I can support myself, collar bone, and that feels really good. That feels really good. I, I do have some grief. I do have some grief. Top of the head and I can feel that and let it go, can feel that and let it go.
[00:42:42] And use the energy to explore my world. Use the energy to explore my world. Just take a breath and notice how you’re feeling.
[00:42:53] Um, feel kinda sick now it, it feels more like, um, they didn’t support me cuz they just couldn’t be bothered. Okay. All right. Kar chap. I feel ill, I feel ill, it does not feel good to think that I was too much bothered for them. It does not feel good to think I was too much of a bother for them. I wasn’t worth their attention.
[00:43:19] I was not worth their time or attention. That wasn’t a loving way to raise a kid. Definitely not a loving way to raise a kid. I would not raise a child that way. They would never raise a child that way. And they raised me that way. They raised me that way. Top of the head. I don’t like how they raised me.
[00:43:39] Don’t like how they raised me. I brow it still hurts to this day. It still hurts to this day. Side of the eye. What if I am worth the bother? If I am worth the bother under the eye? Being curious does sometimes create bother Being curious? Does sometimes create bother under the nose? Not everything’s gonna go perfectly.
[00:44:01] Not everything’s going to go perfectly, Jen. Maybe by acknowledging my curiosity, maybe by acknowledging my curiosity, Tyler, but I’m also acknowledging my own worth, also acknowledging my own worth under the arm. And it probably feels a little uncomfortable. Probably feels a little uncomfortable, top of the head because my survival brain knows that I needed to conform back then.
[00:44:27] My survival brain knows I needed to conform back then. I will, but I’m not back then, I’m not back then side of the eye. I actually have my own resources, now, have my own resources, and at the same time, I still want someone else to support me under the eye. I do wanna be supported. I do wanna be supported under the nose.
[00:44:46] I might allow some of the supported feeling, Ian, right now. I might what? Let some of that supported feeling in right now. I might let some of that supported feeling in right now, Tim, there’s a bunch of people on this call, a bunch of people on this call, tapping along with me. Tapping along with me under the arm, getting value and supporting me.
[00:45:08] They’re valuing and supporting me top of the head. What if I am worth it? What if I am worth it? Just take a breath and notice what you’re feeling. It’s knowing that I am worth it and I’m angry. Good, good. Anger is good. It is moving up the, have you heard Vic, Rick talk about the vibrational scale? I don’t think so.
[00:45:34] Okay. Well, so when we’re really shut down and, and like little fro frozen, we’re way down the vibrational scale as we come up, we might feel shame, we might feel guilt, might feel some of these energies. Anger is actually one of the top, one of the ones as we’re getting out of that. An apex predator. Yeah.
[00:45:51] Like we, we, when we’re traumatized, we stay, we don’t let ourselves be angry. Yeah. So as we’re healing, anger is one of the really positive ones. That’s an indication that you’re actually healing. So my, my foam baseball bat showed up today, so. Nice, nice. Um, where are you feeling the anger in your body? Um, so in my solar plexus.
[00:46:15] Okay, so what’s, I’ve got my solar plexus. Yeah. What’s the sensation in your solar plexus? It feels really tight. Like I’m pushing something down. Okay,
[00:46:28] so there’s a tight sensation in your solar plexus, like you’re pushing something down. It’s a sensation. There’s nothing actually wrong. When we haven’t had experience feeling angry, that feeling can feel very strange and our brain can go, oh my god. Danger, danger, danger. But there’s really not a danger here.
[00:46:48] You’re just feeling a sensation in your solar plexus. So if you can just, just breathe in, breathe into that for a moment, it actually moved up. Okay. Moving is a good sign. Chasing things move. When it moves around, it’s, it’s actually a sign that you’re, it’s processing. Is it closer to your heart now? Yeah.
[00:47:10] Okay, so just notice it. How does it feel in your heart? What’s the sensation?
[00:47:18] I don’t know if it makes sense to say it’s just sort of sitting there. Okay, so you just have it sitting there. It’s just a sensation in your body. There’s not anything actually wrong. It’s not a signal that something’s, you know, you’re having a heart attack or anything. It’s just a sensation. If you can breathe when it, if it with it, and you can just say, ready, chop this anger in my heart, anger in my heart, top of the head.
[00:47:44] This anger in my heart, anger in my heart. I, bro, it’s just sitting there, sitting there side of the eye. I am angry. I am angry under the eye. This anger in my heart, anger in my heart, under the nose, all this anger in my heart, all this anger in my heart. Chin. This anger is energy I can use. Anger is energy.
[00:48:06] I can use hollow bone. It’s a sign of healing. It’s a sign of healing under the arm. I’m really glad I’m healing. Really glad I’m healing. Top of the head better than the alternative top of head. I acknowledge this anger in my heart. I acknowledge this anger in my heart. Just take a breath. Okay. And I give thanks for it.
[00:48:29] Yeah. Nice. Good job. So you’re just feeling it. Emotions. But you can just be with them for a moment or two and feel them. They start processing. All they wanna do is be felt. So you’re clearing out some of the grief, some the anger from when you were younger. And that’s a really powerful thing. So you’re doing really well.
[00:48:51] Yeah. Is there anything, do you feel like there, is there anything else kind of poking at you or is that No, I think it’s good just having like, like I like having acknowledgement and support that that what I went through was wrong. Yeah. It’s definitely wrong and it, a lot of people have kids that they didn’t really want or they don’t have the energy for, but I think it’s, it’s really hard on the kid to be brought up with, uh, you’re a burden and I’m so sorry you experienced that.
[00:49:24] I think you’re an amazing person and I’m really glad you’re here with us. And just if you can know that you can find your tribe, you can find your people, people that want to spend time with you and energy with you. Yeah, I’m actively working on that. Just if you can just let even in 1% of it right now or just notice that I said it and I meant it.
[00:49:51] Even if you can’t believe it, it’s okay. Yeah, actually that voice didn’t pop up. It’s like, nah, she’s full of shit.
[00:50:01] It’s, it’s, it’s great noticing and maybe you can tap on that. Like, oh, that’s full of shit. That’s not true. That’s not like, even though I wanna let it in, I’m having trouble letting it in. You can just do some, just some tapping on that. Yeah. Actually I didn’t have anything where I felt like you were just, you know, saying things for whatever reason.
[00:50:19] So. Okay. Good. Thank you. Nice job. Thanks so much for raising your hand and sharing this with us. Good. Me too.
[00:50:31] All right. And thank you, Margo. Um, the, the use of wonder, um, it’s like, I wonder what I can do with this energy, with this fire. I wonder what my body wants to do with these sensations. Mm-hmm. I wonder in this stuckness where, what is coming alive in me? Um, These are not necessarily things that we know and answer or we can just like point to exactly where we want to go with them.
[00:51:06] Um, it’s a form of empowerment. So on this spectrum of curiosity, there’s there place of I am noticing something and I wonder what I can do to benefit myself, what I can, what, what is right for me right now? Um, how does this energy want to move? How, how might I express it? I wonder what unleashed means for me.
[00:51:35] Oh, like for me, um, uh, physical curiosity was something that was leased. So, And I sometimes picture myself as, you know, if you imagine a, a stallion, a winged stallion who has only walked on a lead and only gets to walk in the field around in a circle, um, he really hasn’t expressed much of it. So, um, and so I wonder what happens when I’m not on a lead anymore.
[00:52:14] I’m not leashed anymore. How does that go? Um, Thank you. We’re gonna take a, a quick seven minute break here. I’m gonna go ahead and pause the recording and if you’re watching the replay, hi. Welcome. Um, we invite you to take a break here too, for integration, for clarity, to kind of give yourself a moment away from the energy of us and the group to kind of feel what’s right.
[00:52:41] Um, and I wonder what’s gonna come up. We’ve had some, uh, messages in the chat that we’re gonna be getting to and some other energies. So pausing for now. Welcome back. So, um, can I, can I jump around to, to something? Yeah, please. Um, I believe that curiosity is helpful, or at least the energy of inquiry. Um, and sometimes though it can feel like, um, so I’ll give you an example.
[00:53:15] Someone said, How do I, uh, let me find it. Um, da da da. Okay.
[00:53:26] How can I feel curious about the plumber not showing up all day
[00:53:33] versus being frustrated about it? Well, so, um, my frame of reference on a situation like that is I wanna be, I think that e f t tapping is great because I get to be honest with myself, even though I’m really frustrated and that’s being polite and non profane, I really do not understand why the plumber didn’t come up, uh, didn’t show up.
[00:54:02] I was here. B, B b, I will allow myself the space to hear myself articulating what my feelings are, rather than suppressing the frustration. Um, I have found that if I do that for myself, um, rather than the knee jerk reaction is I am so frustrated with the plumber, I’m going to go and express that frustration at them.
[00:54:34] Okay. I’m curious. Um, if I don’t immediately take, um, ener emotional energy that has, uh, a fight to it, uh, an impact and, um, uh, even if it’s real, even if it’s how I feel, if I don’t immediately take that, I wonder what options open up for me so I tap on it. I am not trying to get rid of being frustrated. I am wanting my body to get to a place where I can say something like, I wonder what’s right for me now.
[00:55:15] And I will pause there. I wonder what’s right for me now,
[00:55:26] and I might like notice my, my, my head starts. I’ve had plumbers not show up, so this feels pertinent. There’s this like shuttering of, no, I don’t like a world where people don’t show up and don’t call and don’t b I might, what? That maybe what’s right for me is to express some energy about it. I’m wanting to get to a place where I feel like I’ve got some options, so I could be like, no, I am going to find somebody else.
[00:56:04] Um, I am going to wait a day and see what it’s like tomorrow. What I feel like, oh, this is actually a situation I need to tend to. So I’m gonna look at what other options I have. Um, I’m going to write a very, very direct message to them that this is not okay. And to see whether being the squeaky frustrated wheel is going to get me, uh, closer.
[00:56:33] Um, I’m going to inquire. I just want to check, is your plumber okay? He was going to be coming today. I can only assume cuz he didn’t contact me that he must be in the hospital. Um, I don’t even know their names, so I couldn’t even call to check. Could you please let me know that he’s okay or they’re okay?
[00:56:56] Now? Am I being a little ridiculous? Yes. I call it being ridiculous. Um, I can be ridiculous with that because. Even knowing that I could do that feels freeing to me. So I can be frustrated, I can be a bit ridiculous. I can be honestly concerned, like the, the, these people have never not shown up before. I, I couldn’t reach you all.
[00:57:21] What’s happened. Yeah. Um, so that’s how Curiosity is a doorway into, um, the options that we can have. Um, this can be used if we do the tapping with the Frustrator. So like, um, one of the things I notice is that if I’m frustrated or struggling with something and I call Kathy and she’s, and she can sense to hear some of my frustration or, uh, you know, what, you know, crying, complaining, whatever it is, pretty quickly we can get to a place like I we’re.
[00:58:04] Curiosity can lead to some options. This is different from advice and I believe that in really strong relationships as we relate and engage with one another, um, when we practice wondering and curiosity, I can be like, look, Kathy, I am feeling like there are no options. I wonder if you see a few options for me to consider.
[00:58:29] Mm-hmm. That’s so different. You’re setting the stage for curiosity, exploration rather than I don’t know what to do. And a friend saying, oh, well what you need to do is this. Yeah, that probably is gonna freak out my primitive brain to be told what to do. I love the phrase, what would you like, what would you like me to be for you right now?
[00:58:55] Is it, am I someone to vent to? Uh, so do you want advice? Do you want encouragement? Do you want poor baby? Like, it’s okay to ask for those things cuz then you’re much more likely to get what you actually need and you can train your friends to like, oh, let’s you know, this is what, you know, I this is what I would like right now.
[00:59:15] Or What would you like me to be for you? Um, and I do, I agree. Like getting a lot of advice when you’re in the midst of like distress is really not always the best thing to, to offer. It’s, it, it can add, it, add to the agitation. Like I, I have to do more work on top of the guy. I already got the guy to come out and he is not coming.
[00:59:36] Um, so being curious about what. You could be for someone is also another way to do it. It’s like, I’m curious, what, what does Rick need in this moment the most? Does he need me to be calm? Does he need me to like, yes, that’s miserable. They’re, they’re terrible people. It doesn’t mean we wanna stay there. I think when we stay there and we get that ecosystem where we’re constantly in that path, that’s different than like, you know, three to five minutes of, oh, those bastards, they should be fried.
[01:00:04] You know, we should, we should put ants in their pants and, you know, cockroaches in their house or whatever. Just to kind of vent out some of that energy. Um, so yeah, I think that’s a really, and did you not have a plumber come out today? Rick? Is are you using that as a name? No, I’m using that as from someone who like, oh, private message today.
[01:00:26] Um, yeah. And, and we, in the chat you can send us a private message. We don’t necessarily see everything. If you send it. Um, publicly, we try not to out people, um, uh, uh, by name since it is being recorded. But if you do want to raise your hand, I see we have someone’s hand raised. Would you like to do that again?
[01:00:51] I just, I’m curious whether you’d like to engage around this. I’d, I just don’t wanna take up. I don’t want to. I am. I’m really enjoying watching you work. All right. So I, I, I asked you to unmute. Um, thanks. Yeah. What would you, what’s coming up for you around this? Um, well, right then soon as you said hello, I kind of got a bit teary.
[01:01:20] Um, I guess I’m just curious as to, um, how to like actually take care of myself when I feel sad and scared and feel nauseous and kind of just like Yeah. Myriad of those emotions. Um, No, I find that I try different things or I try to tap and stuff like that, but, um, I just don’t have success in really helping myself when I’m in this particular place.
[01:01:50] Okay. So the first thing I would ask is, um, a lot of people when they feel sad or distressed, they feel like they’re doing something wrong, um, or that they shouldn’t be in this space. Is that something that happens for you? Uh, yeah, I think so. If I think about that, yeah. It does feel like, okay. So yeah, I mean, I think a lot of us, our parents were trying to solve us to be quiet.
[01:02:18] Like if we were upset, it was taking their energy and we needed to be solved. That. And so there’s a sense there’s something wrong that needs to be fixed versus this is my way, body’s way of releasing some of this energy of processing it and clearing it. So one of the things we can say is tears and laughter are welcome here.
[01:02:39] Yeah. You’re welcome here. Just as you are feeling a little bit sick, feeling, sad, feeling not very, you know, whatever that is, you are welcome here as you are. And I think that’s a gift. Not many us were given when we were little. So can you just read in for a minute that there’s nothing wrong? While this doesn’t feel pleasant, it’s actually your body’s way of healing itself and, and it’s actually beautiful.
[01:03:08] And the people here in this space love you and want you to be here just as you are.
[01:03:19] And of the reframes I like to give clients when I work with them on this stuff is the fact that you’re feeling grief and sadness and maybe a little bit ill. It’s a sign that your body thinks you’re strong enough to process this. I don’t know. I, we work, we have people that come in often that are really shut down.
[01:03:41] They’re numb. They don’t even know how to feel, find their emotions. So the fact that you’re feeling them, you can name them and you can name them in a group of people. That’s beautiful. That shows me that your system is actually pretty resilient and that it’s healing. Does that make sense? Yeah, I guess so.
[01:04:01] I, I do find that it’s hard to actually get to the fear and stuff when I’m by myself. Like absolutely traumas happen when we feel alone and unsupported. So trying to solve and heal traumas by ourselves is really hard and that’s one of the main reasons Rick made this group. Um, and I think it’s such a beautiful offering because when we’re not alone, when we feel other people’s support, we heal much better.
[01:04:31] So can we just do a little tapping on that? Yeah, that would be lovely. And I’m really thankful that you’ve given me this space. Oh, it’s, it’s an honor to have you here. When people share like this, we know how much courage it takes and it, I always feel very honored that someone is willing to like say, here, here’s where I’m hurting.
[01:04:53] Can you help? So feel free to change the words as we go. Okay. Yeah. Chap. Even though I’m feeling pretty bad, even though I’m feeling pretty bad and I, part of me thinks there’s something wrong and proud of me, think there’s something wrong and then it’s just never gonna go away. Yeah. What if there’s actually nothing wrong?
[01:05:18] What if there’s actually nothing? Maybe I’m feeling this way because I’m healing. Maybe I’m feeling this way because I’m healing. Maybe. Maybe top of the head. I’ve had cuts that itched a lot when they were healing. I have had cuts that itched a lot while they were healing eyebrow. What if this grief is a sign?
[01:05:40] My heart is healing. What if this grief is a sign that my heart is healing side of the eye? Part of me thinks I shouldn’t feel this way. Part of me thinks I shouldn’t feel this way. And the I learned that from people that raised me. I learned that from people that raised me. There’s no time for me to feel like this.
[01:06:02] Yeah, under the nose. They didn’t have time for me to feel like this. They didn’t have time for me to feel like this, Jen. But I’m in this group that does have time for me, but I’m in this group that does have time for me, hollow bone, and they’re actually healing some of their grief while they tap with me, and they’re actually healing some of their grief while they tap with me.
[01:06:27] Can I let in the fact that there is time for me now, can I let in the fact that there is time for me now top of the head? Can I let in a little bit that it’s okay to feel this way? Can I let in a little bit that it’s okay to feel this way? I will. What if I’m actually amazingly courageous? If I’m actually amazingly courageous side of the eye and I’m sharing things that will help other people heal.
[01:06:58] I’m sharing things that will help other people heal under the eye. What if I’m awesome? What if I’m moren under the nose? It doesn’t feel nice to have these sensations. It doesn’t feel nice to have these sensations chin, but I’m actually healing some old wounds, but I’m actually healing some old wounds.
[01:07:21] Ali bone and that’s an amazing thing to do for the world. And that’s an amazing thing to do for the world. And then there, these feelings won’t last forever. These feelings won’t last forever. Yeah. But sometimes I think they will. So sometimes I think they will, but I just have to feel them for a few moments.
[01:07:43] I just have to feel them for a few moments. And that’s all I need to do right now. And that’s all I need to do right now. And just take a gentle breath.
[01:07:58] What are you noticing in your body right now?
[01:08:03] Um, I noticed that my chest and the front of my shoulders hurts. Your chest and part of your shoulders. What was the word? What, what did they feel? Sorry. The front of my shoulders hurt, like my chest and the front of my shoulders. Ok. So notice that there’s some, is it 10? Is it tense pain or a dull pain?
[01:08:24] What are you noticing? Um, tight, sharp pain, I guess. Okay. So there’s a tight, sharp pain there. It’s a sensation in your body. Is the sensation actually doing you harm?
[01:08:44] Um, no. No. I know. My brain always thinks it is. It’s like, oh my God. Oh my god, it hurts. Oh my God. It’s, it’s not actually doing us, it it, like nothing is actually being torn or injured, correct? No. Yes. Correct. So, can you just, and I invite anyone who’s, who’s having struggles with this, if you can just breathe and be with it for 10 seconds.
[01:09:07] Just be with that sensation when your brain starts going, oh, no, no, no, we’ve gotta distract, we’ve gotta go away. Just, it’s just 10 seconds. Just breathe into it and feel it. Can you do that? Yes. Okay, so let’s just be with it. All of us right now, with any part of our body that’s like that.
[01:09:36] Just three more seconds.
[01:09:42] There you go. Good job. So you just built some muscles for being with that sensation. Can you let your survival brain notice that nothing bad happened while you felt that?
[01:09:55] Yes. Yeah, good. So every time we can just be with an emotion like that, we’re actually processing it out. That’s really all it wants is to be noticed and felt. And when we do that, we actually build the muscle to feel a little bit more to tolerate the feeling and we soothe our survival brain so it doesn’t freak out quite so badly when it feels some pain or some something that’s uncomfortable.
[01:10:20] Does that make sense? Yes. Yep. So if you can, if you can just give yourself 10 minute 10 or ten second little baby steps in that. Um, just feeling the discomfort and being with yourself with compassion. And notice, like my, my brain will go, oh, it can’t be good to feel this way. There’s something wrong. Or, I need to distract myself.
[01:10:44] I wanna go eat something or watch TV or shop, or whatever it is. However you distract yourself. If you can just come back to the feeling for 10 seconds and then take a break second, and then sometime later, 10 seconds and take a break. You’re literally teaching your body how to move through these feelings, how to process this energy, and you certainly can tap as you’re doing that if you like.
[01:11:10] Yeah. Okay. How is your body feeling right now? A little bit softer. Nice. It’s wonderful to notice. Really good job. Some of us have more grief and and stuff stored up in our bodies than others, but the more we can practice this, we really build a skill. And once we start knowing we can handle feeling our emotions, we can start being more curious.
[01:11:38] Because when we’re curious, we might try something that doesn’t work out. Um, and Oh, I’m disappointed, or I have some grief that that didn’t work out. Oh yeah, that ten second thing, Kathy always talks about it’s okay to do that and to process through. I can make it through. I have the confidence I can take care of myself.
[01:11:58] Does that make sense? Yeah. I think it’s that last thing, like the confidence to take care of myself. Yeah. Sometimes doesn’t feel possible when those feelings are there and it’s like, well, how do I. What, what, what do I actually do outside of the 10 seconds even? Okay. So if you can let yourself feel it for 10.
[01:12:18] So when I’ve had big, big things that were coming up 10 seconds, in 30, 40 seconds out, doing like distracting yourself. And then if you can do 10 more seconds, you’re really doing some powerful weightlifting and teaching your system to do that. And I know grief can feel really overwhelming. Um, a, a good question to ask yourself is what would you do for a good friend that was grieving?
[01:12:46] Um, are there certain things you might do to help that friend feel supported and cared about as they processed their grief? Yeah, I’d probably tell them like that. I love them. Like they’re amazing and they’re inspiring to me. Lovely. And yeah, like give them a hug and like just, I’m here whenever you need me.
[01:13:07] Cause I think. Yeah. Those are all beautiful things. Would you be able to try to offer some of those things to yourself? I could try. Yeah. I know it’s hard. I, I, I, I have fingers pointing back to me. I, I can, I’ve learned to receive it from other people, but I still have trouble sometimes receiving it from myself.
[01:13:30] Yeah. And you have this great group if you go to the center and ask and share some of this if you’re willing. Yeah. I imagine some people would jump in and offer some support too. Thanks. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you so much for stepping forward and sharing this. That’s fine. Yeah. I hope, I hope that this process is real quickly for you and just know that you’re doing really well.
[01:13:55] The fact that you’re feeling it is a sign that you’re healing.
[01:14:03] Yeah, I’ll try to remember and you’ll remind again. Thank you. That’d be great work. Thanks, Kathy.
[01:14:20] So, Kathy was reinforcing, you know, the, the baby steps, the small steps we take are, have such a profound impact across the decades. Um, even if in the moment that 10 seconds doesn’t feel like you actually did very much, there’s a, an unleashing of your self listening, an unleashing of your awareness that, you know, it takes courage to be with that feeling for 10 seconds.
[01:14:50] There’s, um, reinforcing baby step, small step. After another that you’re freer than maybe your primitive brain was ever taught? Yes. I liked what shared, oh, sorry, go ahead. Go ahead. Someone shared, I, I got the idea that meditation, like for meditation, you had to sit with a feeling until it passed, and I like the idea of feeling it in bits and pieces better.
[01:15:17] It feels a lot safer. I kind of think of the same analogy as I’m gonna go to the gym and I’m gonna work out till I’m strong. Well, I’m probably gonna hurt myself. I’m gonna, I’m not teaching my system that I can handle it and that it’s fun. If I can do it in little, little steps and reward, celebrate myself, notice my strength, I’m much more likely to do it.
[01:15:37] Ongoing versus, oh, I’m gonna do it until I’ve hurt myself and now I never wanna go back to the gym or I never want to feel these feelings again. 10 seconds is often like most people, and there’s been a few things where I had to go to five seconds, it was so intense. I could do five seconds and then I, you know, an hour later I’d do another five seconds notice what your body can handle
[01:16:01] using curiosity at the gym, you know, uh, is I’ve traditional gym workouts. I’m just really aware they’re not right for my body. Yeah. And if I’m curious, like, I’m curious who out there does it differently? I’m curious what other messages, rather than work it till failure are out there? Um, That opens, opened up the door so that the universe has given me synchronicities and other people that I could explore with.
[01:16:37] Like, ooh, I wonder, I wonder why they suggest that, or they invite that instead of that. Um, um, so when we started, we talked about the things that, um, can shut down our curiosity. Uncertainty is one of them. So if everything is feeling really uncertain, I, I have found that asking myself, well, I wonder what I do know.
[01:17:12] And there’s a, there’s a quality of leaning in. Even if the first reaction is, I don’t know. Um, Anything. I know that that’s like still my primitive brain talking. Well, I wonder if I did know something, what I might know. Well, I know that this matters to me. I know that I prefer this over that. Um, that starts a movement in your body into resource.
[01:17:44] Um, to me curiosity is one of the most beautiful human resources. It’s renewable. But as we well know, renewable energy isn’t necessarily the obvious thing that our culture supports. Um, curiosity. And we can do this with each other. We can, um, if you’re part of our Thriving Now circle, um, I invite you to ask.
[01:18:14] For, or share what you’re curious about, um, to set a container for how you’d like, uh, to engage with us. Um, I’m curious what matters to you? I’m curious how this, uh, how these skills are playing out for you. Um, if one of the things that shuts down curiosity is risk avoidance. That can be relational risk, it can be physical risk.
[01:18:44] Um, so again, the doorway of, I wonder, well, I wonder what someone who is wise and fearless, um, cuz fearless has that edge of recklessness in my nervous system. Um, uh, like wise and fearless. I wonder how they would see this situation. What options they, what preparations that person would, um, come up with.
[01:19:11] Now notice that that puts. Um, with practice you’ll notice more of your resources coming online. Um, you’re aware of judgment, like, oh, I wonder who would embrace my curiosity. I wonder who, I wonder who is, um, open to exploring art together. I wonder, and, and this is, is a way I know to unleash our curiosity and in, in times in life where we’re changing.
[01:19:46] Um, it is
[01:19:52] curiosity can, can, can buoy us, can can help us from feeling more above the water. Um, It, it opens up a possibility for spirit to also speak to us through dreams, through journaling, through vision, through surprise, through synchronicities as well. Um, if I am not, if I’m, my curiosity on that spectrum is down at a zero, one or two, I notice that the same things I do will feel harder, heavier, flatter, and more depleting if I can get my curiosity through practice up to a 3, 4, 5, which isn’t like, ooh, I’m the most curious person.
[01:20:42] Like, it’s just in the sweeter spot. Like, I wonder, I’m, I’m open to, uh, ways that kind of of place the same exact actions will feel. Lighter, more replenishing, more nourishing. And that’s, um, in our, in our picture of a thriving ecosystem. We do that with ourselves. We do that with each other. We do this in community as well.
[01:21:17] Thank you. Yeah, being a part of this Kathy, I, yeah, I love that we’re all here. We see a hand raised and unfortunately we’re at the end of the call, so maybe if you put it in the post your question on the center or go to one of Rick’s calls this week, this coming up. Um, please know that curiosity is innately part of us.
[01:21:36] Some people may have more or less, but it really is innately part of us and someone taught us to turn it off. You can turn it back on with practice baby steps. We don’t have to go to India and try some new dish. We can go to a new restaurant or order a new dish or say, Hey buddy, I wanna try this new thing, but I’m not sure it’s gonna like it.
[01:21:56] I’m gonna like it. So can one of us order something adventurous and the other one doesn’t? And we’ll at least have half of meal able to share baby steps, practicing and encouraging yourself. Notice that you did it even if it didn’t go like perfectly for you. That will get your curiosity going and that will give you so much more joy and con confidence in the world.
[01:22:15] So thank you all so much for being here and exploring this with us, and I can’t wait to see what you discover and explore.
[01:22:24] Bye bye everyone.
- How being stressed, overwhelmed, or depleted can block our curiosity. We just don’t have the energy for openness and uncertainty.
- Trauma around past curiosity and how we can tap for that and shift our conditioning.
- I WONDER… the words that start curiosity moving in us.
- Tapping for anger, grief, and being with emotions and sensations that arise.
- Small steps give us resources now and even more in the future!
Great to have you on this journey with us!
Thank you to our participants! This is what I shared by email before the session:
If I want to feel creaky, old, flat, stressed, musty, and depressed… all I have to do is kill my curiosity.
I listened to someone decades younger than I am talk about his life. He sounded so… flat. Half my age and he was ready for the nursing home.
Yeah, he got “high” with drugs but for those of us with emotional sensors, his “high” had little of the juiciness of imagination, co-creativity, and Possibility. He’d lost his curiosity.
When curiosity dies, we die inside. Even if it takes our body decades to decay and croak.
I want to be thriving until I die. That means keeping my curiosity alive and kicking. It means being a Co-Creator with life, not a passive lump in a recliner consuming “entertainment” that doesn’t actually tickle my soul.
Adira and Emerald show me this. When they are curious, WOW. So alive! Their brains and hearts radiate a kind of sunlight that gleams. When I enter that space with them, WOW. I feel warmed and nourished, too.
But but but… there are toilets to clean! Weeds to pull! Emails to reply to!
Yes. That’s true. Yet, Adira cleans a toilet with me with a very different attitude than the one humans mostly fall into. Same with things I might call weeds which she sees differently. She and Emerald turned one cutting into a 15 minute improv yesterday while I raked.
What makes adulting something where curiosity has to stay leashed (and muzzled)?
I know from lived experience that boosting and maintaining… and FREEING… my curiosity is core to an experience of thriving.
So, I’m excited to explore this with those of you that want to thrive.
I like what MidJourney did with Curiosity Unleashed just now, to bring my day to a close. Enjoy the replay of the workshop! I’m truly wondering what it brought up for you!
I especially liked the information that when we feel difficult feelings, it’s an indication that we are processing and healing from them. That’s a very important take-away for me. Thanks for this workshop. It’s a keeper! xxoo
Thanks Caron! Appreciate hearing that and having you reflect that back to the community, too.