How’s your relationship with money? Savvy? or no…?
Black Friday has a way of showing me my relationship with money.
In long past years, I’d be seeking out Big Deals, even if those items were not REALLY what I needed. Or even really wanted!
But our money boundaries CAN change. I added 7 years ago a boundary – I would add to my “wishlist” things that felt like a YES. I’d let them “ripen” on the wishlist for “awhile.” And I would use Black Friday (or its now extended seeming month-long time) to choose 1-2 items for me and any holiday presents I knew I’d already chosen to get.
Because I know I am susceptible to Big Savings. Many people are! I can feel the tug, the pull, the push.
If I am going to have a Freedom Fund that is strong for my future self and my family, having money boundaries is… essential.
The proof for me is that this works. I saw 5 amazing deals in the last few days. Things that I imagine I’d enjoy having.
I did not act on them. I did, of course, save $$ on the present I wanted to get my partner. And I got myself a thicker pair of winter gloves (that maybe I’ll have my kids “give me.”)
Anyway… money is energy. It is used as a re-Source for work we’ve done and what we’ve stewarded. We exchange money for what we need and what matters to us (including supporting Beings that matter to us).
Cathy and I will be exploring how to align money boundaries with our values, how to include longer term intentions for freedom as well, and how to say NO (and YES!) to money requests. We hope you join us…
Rick & Cathy ~ ThrivingNow
Your Emotional Freedom Coaches
Schedule private sessions here
P.S. Adira says, “I hear there’s Big Money in lobster!”
Money is Emotionally Complicated.
It is interwoven into all human relations. Even when we’re doing “free” stuff like hugging, the clothes we wear, the hygiene we have, how hungry we are, how stressed… money abundance and lack influences all these and… everything!
It’s no wonder money is the most confusing, complicated, and often distressing energy we have to engage with.
Being savvy in how we relate and engage with money and its intersections is a core aspect of a Thriving Life.
So yes, we will be getting together once again to explore money and the boundaries around it that align with YOU.
You. Not your mother and father. Not even your kids. Not your bosses past or present.
How do YOU choose to relate and engage with money?
We’re guessing that there are insidious ways marketers and culture have conspired to make you behave with your money (that you exchange your life force to get) in ways that serve THEM. But may not necessarily serve YOU.
Let’s explore and tap on this together, ok?
Rick & Cathy ~ ThrivingNow
Your Emotional Freedom Coaches
Schedule private sessions here
P.S. Adira says, “You say money has its ups and downs? Seems a lot in life’s playground does! Just beware the plastic dragons…”
We welcome your insights, ah-ha’s, and sharing. Please! Click [Reply]
- Recognize that money is interwoven with virtually everything we do and has an emotional component. It’s not just about dollars and spreadsheets, but also about the energy exchange involved
- Understand the concept of money boundaries, which includes the flow of money in and out and the container that holds it — when you get the energetics right, your relationship with money changes
- Tapping can help shift our primitive/survival brain’s scarcity mindset around money
- Focus on having “good and sufficient” resources to meet needs vs trying to prepare for every eventuality
- Viewing money through a lens of stewardship rather than security can be more sustainable and enlivening for those who want to thrive.
- Consider how to spend/save in ways that serve our future self
- Learn to set boundaries with people regarding money. This might involve letting go of some relationships or changing the dynamics of others
- Consciously create different containers for money (e.g. emergency fund, freedom fund) with boundaries that fit what matters to us
- Notice feelings that come up around money and tap on them
- Write down any illogical money thoughts/fears and tap on those
- Make small changes in your relationship with money. Even a small shift in awareness can make a big difference
Click for Computer Generated Transcript
[00:00:00] Creating money boundaries that align with you. This is a real skills workshop.
[00:00:06] It’s about savvy relating and engaging it.
[00:00:08] And I’m Rick from thriving now, and I’ve noticed that money is interwoven with virtually everything that we do. How is that possible? How is it that money has become this thing that.
[00:00:26] Is so interwoven into our world. It’s a good question. And especially for those of us that are empathetic and emotional. The interweaving isn’t just about dollars and spreadsheets and stuff like that. Indeed, we can’t not be aware that there’s an emotional component in the exchange of money, which is a form of energy.
[00:00:53] And I am here tonight with Cathy Vartuli from Thriving Now and the Intimacy Dojo. And Cathy, would you get us started? Um, what is. What is creating money, boundaries, boundaries with money that align with you. I love, I love this topic and I’m really excited to dig in with all of you. And please know one of the things that Rick and I are big on, we don’t have the answers for you.
[00:01:19] We have good questions and some ideas to share, but this is really about you creating your own blueprint. You discovering what’s right for you. And just like sex, people don’t talk about money. We don’t, like, I was really blessed when I first started working that I was with a group where we’d sit around at lunch and talk about how people invested their money and how they did it.
[00:01:42] But that was really the outlier. Most people do not. They hide how much they make, they hide how, you know, like they, what they spend. Like, we’re not sharing this. So we’re not learning where people struggle. Um, and there’s a lot of guilt and manipulation that goes around anything that’s more secret. I want…
[00:01:59] You know, I see, I imagine you have more money than, and, uh, so I wanted to try to get some, or I want you to spend it on me or what there’s all these subtle and often subconscious patterns we have around money. Most, I think a large part of it is because we don’t talk about it. So I really want to honor the people that are here talking about something that for many people is fraught with.
[00:02:24] I’m not quite sure how to handle this. No one taught me, no one, my parents, my parents had very bad boundaries around money. Um, so I had to learn them. And I think that as we’re talking about this and bringing up ideas and suggestions, you might find that just having a conscious clarity on what you actually do and what you would rather do instead, gives you attraction in the world that you didn’t have before.
[00:02:50] As long as we’re not conscious of what’s happening, it’s very slippery. We can just keep spinning and we’re not quite sure why. But as soon as we kind of put down some like, Oh, I don’t actually like that I do this, but I do do this. And there’s where I want to go. Now I have a direction and kind of like a reality, an objective reality of what’s happening.
[00:03:10] Um, and I, I just, I want to honor the fact that you’re the kind of people that would create that for yourselves. You’d show up to a call like this and kind of look at The sometimes very uncomfortable patterns that we have around money, um, and setting boundaries with other people, um, to find out what’s right for you.
[00:03:30] Because that authentic ness can really, it feels so good. I imagine all of you have authentic places where you just drop it and you’re like, this feels so good. It’s easy. I’m not fighting myself or not very much. And I want that for you around money and around boundaries. And it’s okay to find that. Some of the people you have interactions with around money that you may have to set firm boundaries.
[00:03:54] I even had to let a few friends go out of my life because I realized they were just kind of, it always went one way and there was a lot of entitlement, but no willingness to look at that. Um, and sometimes they’re, uh, relatives, so it’s a lot harder to let go. Do we, you know, how do we set boundaries? So we’re not saying this is going to be super easy, but we really do think it will be very worthwhile to look at this.
[00:04:18] So, Yes, thank you for being here. The chat is open. This is a workshop while Cathy and I are facilitating and often being the channel for the comments and the questions and what we’ve collected in our work, um, and in our own lives, but I’m blessed to be engaging with people from around the world who in very different variety of circumstances, many different socioeconomic Classes to use that, um, even different currencies.
[00:04:51] What do they consider money? Um, and. You know, I’ve been experimenting with the energy of money for a long time. For some reason, it, it always felt better to me to have a boundary around money, for example, that had, um, where possible, the opportunity for people to try. Before they buy or to get a money back guarantee in the 1980s, I was doing that.
[00:05:17] I was even doing that with clients of my consulting practice. Hey, I’ll come in. I’ll spend four hours with you and your team. And if it doesn’t, if it doesn’t add value, no charge. Now that was an experiment because for me. Whether I knew it or not, and I didn’t, I needed to, I needed to have a relationship, a savvy relationship with the exchange of money that worked for me.
[00:05:51] And that continues to evolve. So what is money for emotional people? We can often feel the energy in it. So for example, um, let’s say someone walks up to someone. Owes you 20 and they walk up to you and they say, here’s your damn 20 back. Hey,
[00:06:31] I’d like to, I’d like to arrange to get that 20 back to you. And, you know, and I know that. That you lent it to me at a time when it was really helpful. So I would, I’d like to give you the 20 back and I’d like to make a lunch. And have us go for a walk. If you, if you have the time for not, if not, I’ll just send you the 20.
[00:06:57] Do you want it by PayPal? Or do you want to check? Do you want cash? You know, do you want 20, 20 worth of cashews? You know, what, what is it that you’d, you’d like? Awww.
[00:07:16] It’s the same 20. It’s the same one person loaning another person and getting it back. Now, to me, a simple example like that simple. There’s a charge to it, like. If you’ve ever loaned money to someone, you know, that there’s an energy exchange. Sometimes there’s expectations that aren’t clear. Sometimes there’s agreements that aren’t kept sometimes, you know, you feel like you had to.
[00:07:52] So this is another example.
[00:07:58] Let’s say that you’re out with your buddy and, um, their buddy, like their buddy, you’d miss them if they were gone. Um, and they said, Hey, um, I need 20 bucks kind of entitled. It’s a statement. It’s not saying you have to give it to me. It might be, they say, Hey, give me 20 bucks. I need it. And maybe you have a relationship that that’s okay.
[00:08:23] And maybe it’s one sided, like Cathy mentioned, if you give them the 20 and the energy is, um, I’m obligated to give money to my buddies when they ask. Now, I, what happens in your body if you think that you’re obligated to give money, energy, to someone when they ask? It’s not the same general, it’s like, Oh, I love to help someone out versus, or like, Oh, here you go again.
[00:08:55] Yeah, I get sick to, I get a little sick to my stomach. And if I go ahead and do it because I’m an emotional boy. Freedom is real important to me. It’s essential. Um, and so if I give something out of obligation, um, the energetic shift in me is Not as, not really about the money, the money’s the trigger, but the emotional side of it is I just did something out of obligation.
[00:09:25] Guess what? If I do that with my money, chances are I do it with my time. I do it with my attention. I probably do it in a bunch of other ways. So this is where As a savvy skill for relating, this comes into place because we can take money, which is a little more neutral. It’s, it can be charged up with, um, gratitude and generosity.
[00:09:53] It could be charged up with, oh, um, I’m obligated. Um, I’m, I’m afraid of letting go, um, okay, but if I do you this favor, you’re going to, you’re going to give it back to me, even though I’m not going to tell you that you just signed on with the, the mob for, uh, you know, 20 bucks plus a trip to the airport at 3 a.
[00:10:18] m. Um, You know, do you see like this is, this is part of when we talk about money boundaries, there’s the, there’s the place where money is, um, flowing in the place where money is being flowing out. And then there’s the container and each of those have borders and the energetics can be really exciting.
[00:10:47] We’re going to touch on those things as we go through. Um, but when you get. The energetics, right? The relationship with money changes. It truly does and little baby steps. If you find one little micro step here around your money and their money and whatever you call our money, um, that changes your relationship.
[00:11:13] So it’s more in alignment with what is good and right and clear for you. Wow. I know from my own life that the little steps have made the biggest difference. Little switches of awareness, I think, and just to kind of tune in for one of those little switches, um, think about money and whether it’s just, I have some coins here on my desk, or if you have a couple, you know, a 20 bill or something around, think about, do you really let it be yours?
[00:11:43] So, Rick talks about, and I just, because I have the change here, I’ll use it. This is a, like, kind of a frozen unit of energy. It lets me store it, and one of the reasons I love money is because it’s a lot easier to keep than goats or sheep. And in the old days, like, if I wanted to get a session from Rick, I’d have to show up with a sheep, and maybe he just got five sheep from someone else, and he has got to take care of it.
[00:12:07] I’ve got it carted there, and it runs off in the briars. I’ve got to get it back. Like, there’s a lot of struggle with this. And they’re hard to put in your pocket. Um, versus this, I can just put it in my pocket. I can go up to Rick and I say, Here’s so many of these for, like, we have an agreed upon exchange.
[00:12:24] And that lets him use it to, like, buy food for his family. Or, um, I, one of the things I love to do when I’m doing a lot of sessions is I have a housekeeper come in and clean my house. She can clean my house far faster than I can, and I get to spend more time with doing what I love. So like this is, this is like a frozen bit of energy that I can exchange and give to people in exchange for other things or as a gift.
[00:12:48] But do you let it be, like when it’s, when you’re holding it, when it’s yours, do you let it be your own? And I think around money a lot of us have guilt and feelings like, I’m not sure if I deserve this. I don’t know if I, if I can, if I can really have this. So therefore someone asks for it. There’s hard to have a boundary because I’m not really sure it’s mine.
[00:13:10] Versus what if the universe gave it to us to like bless us and say, Hey, I love you. Here’s a gift of some energy you can use for something else. And you get to have this and decide what you want to do with it. And I just think that when I, when I think of it that way, it’s like, oh, the universe gave some conduit of flow of energy to me that I can, you know, through work or whatever I’m doing to get that money.
[00:13:35] Um, so that I can store it, use it for what I like or exchange it for things I like. And I get to say, this is in my possession, it belongs to me and I get to decide what I do with this. And I think a lot of people struggle with the boundary because They’re never really saying, I’m receiving this and I don’t know about you, but I have a couple of friends every time I give them a gift.
[00:13:59] They’re like, Oh no, no, no, no. I can’t have this. Like it’s to the point where it’s like burdensome to give them a gift. I think sometimes when the universe sends us abundance, we don’t, it’s very nice to say, wow, universe, thank you so much for this abundance. I really appreciate it. This is wonderful. Thank you for sending it to me.
[00:14:20] I’m going to think about, I’m going to thoughtfully think about how I use it versus just tossing it away wherever and not being mindful because I’m uncomfortable around it. So when I write a check to the electric company, this is something I learned from Carol Luck, who’s amazing, but I’m like, thank you for the light.
[00:14:37] I had the middle of the night. I couldn’t sleep. I could flip on the switch and, and read a book and I could be warm and I could like. Thank you for all the abundance I got and now I’m going to send you some of the stored energy I have as an exchange for that. Thank you for my home. Let me pay my mortgage or my rent.
[00:14:56] So when we start looking at money a little differently than some people look at it, a lot of people think of it as a source of shame or struggle. I grew up with that. I thought money was bad because all the fights my parents, my parents have many, many fights, but a lot of them around money. because they didn’t know how to deal with it.
[00:15:14] They didn’t have any good boundaries with it. Um, so what, when I was first got out, I was an engineer making eight times more than I’d ever made in my life. And I couldn’t keep it. My survival brain thought it was snakes and it would like try to, I just couldn’t keep it. I was broke all the time, even though I was making all this money.
[00:15:32] Um, and when I started changing, Oh, this is just a frozen bit of energy. The universe has given me to use in ways that are good for my Well, being thinking universe, it really shifted how I was holding that. So Cathy just pointed to and and like I struggle with accepting money Uh, yes accepting it receiving it choosing to spend it the struggle the survival someone pointed out I think i’ll read it later.
[00:16:03] Um, you know, it’s our survival brain’s relationship with money is It’s going to have a relationship. It’s going to perceive it related to the survival aspects of money. But if we stay stuck there, it’s a bit like if we only treat our friends from a survival standpoint, can you imagine only treating your friends based upon whether they’re.
[00:16:35] Whether your survival depends on them or not, like, even though it doesn’t, it would always be fearful that they’re going to leave or turn on you or, uh, abandon you in times of trouble and all the things that are primitive brain. Guess what? I just pointed to another example of if you have a scarcity, fearful relationship with money, chances are that carries over into any other energy exchange, even if there’s not money there.
[00:17:07] Do I get to receive someone’s energy of affection and passion, um, appreciation? Um, uh, what about time? You know, can I gladly accept a half a day of someone’s support helping me in some way? Does that feel good to me? How, what’s my relationship with energy? And so we use, we use an emotional technology, um, EFT tapping.
[00:17:35] If you’re new to it, Oh, I don’t, I’m not going to teach it to you tonight, but EFT, uh, thriving now. com slash tapping. We have some great free courses for you, but you can follow along with us. We tap on AccuPoints they’re used in, they’ve been used for thousands of years for comfort and to shift our energy.
[00:17:56] And so the first level is if you’re trying to find a money boundary that aligns with you. Let’s see if we can get it out of the primitive brain for a bit. Okay. We’re together for, um, a bit still, and let’s see if we can do that. And if you find that your perimeter brain keeps kicking in, you can just start tapping.
[00:18:19] We start at the side of the hand. Um,
[00:18:26] even though there’s so much struggle around money. Even though there’s so much struggle around money. I grew up in it. I grew up in it. It’s on the television. It’s on the television. It’s on social media. It’s on social media. Is it what comes in the mail? It’s what comes in the mail. Oh, definitely. I’m definitely capable of struggling around money.
[00:18:53] I’m definitely capable of struggling around, around money. And I’m open to the possibility. And I’m open to the possibility. That money isn’t just about survival. The money isn’t just about survival. Top of the head. Can you survive without money? Can you survive without money? Ah, that makes me scared. That makes me scared.
[00:19:19] Just considering that. Just considering that. Side of the eye. Money has become an essential. Money has become an essential. And it is related to survival. And it is related to survival. But it’s not only related to survival. It’s not only related to survival. I’ve definitely spent money on things that were not survival.
[00:19:44] I’ve definitely spent money on things that were not survival. Oh, I appreciate that money helps me survive. I do appreciate that money helps me survive. And I want more alignment. With the energy of money. And I want more alignment with the energy of money. Top of the head, so I can craft it. So I can craft it.
[00:20:07] Eyebrow, I can change it. I can change it. Side of the eye, I can tune myself. I can tune myself. And the guy, in ways that please me. In ways that please me. In ways that replenish me. That replenish me. Shin, that add to my security. That add to my security. Hold on, that calm my anxiety. That calm my anxiety.
[00:20:30] And really help me to feel what? Think about it. How would you like to feel? Where are we heading together? Safe, abundant, joyful, playful. What is it that you’re looking for?
[00:20:58] take a gentle deep breath and notice what’s coming up for you. Because we’re getting on some really good points in there. And we can do, I love doing courses on money, um, but we’ve done full week, week long classes on money before. Um, one of the things to notice is like, what’s burbling to the surface?
[00:21:17] Because You’re opening the doorway to this and what your system wants you to heal it wants to feel it. It wants to have abundance flow. It wants conduits of this because it’s very useful to have and so the things that are most likely in your way are going to probably burble up and I love keeping a notepad nearby because in this moment in the safe circle that Rick helped create, like he kind of declared this and we’re here.
[00:21:43] Um, things may come up and you might think of, um, That time when I was three and I spilled grape juice on the carpet and our conscious brains, like that’s silly. That has nothing to do with money, but may very well. In fact, it probably does. Cause our subconscious holds things differently than. Then, then a conscious brain, a linear logical brain, and in what we might have, maybe we’re feeling really abundant at three, like, look at this amazing grape juice.
[00:22:11] My mom loves me. She’s happy with me. I’ve got this lovely grape juice. I’m enjoying life. Oh, I spilled it now. Mom’s very unhappy. Maybe I don’t deserve to have good things. Maybe I shall, if I have this, something bad will happen. So, just notice whatever, if it’s illogical, we actually, that gets us very excited.
[00:22:31] Because you can think your way out of logical problems. You can’t think your way out of the illogical traps that we got stuck in when we were little kids. So jot those down and like maybe do a little tapping on them when you can. Let’s do at least one tapping round on, Even though this is illogical, it feels impactful.
[00:22:48] Do you want me to do that or do you want me to? Uh, I’d love for you to. So I invite you to take a nice slow deep breath.
[00:22:58] We’ve been talking about a lot of ideas. I invite you to come into your body if you can. Let yourself actually sit in your body. Um, feel your toes. That’s a really great way. Notice the temperature between your toes, the texture around your toes. Breathe to your toes and let yourself feel the safety of the space.
[00:23:19] If there’s a lot going on around you, maybe close the Facebook cats down. They pro I promise they’ll still be there later. Um, and let yourself come here and now and feel the safety. This is a very But we repeat this over and over because too many of us are very geared towards danger. Our survival brain is looking for danger, but you’re actually quite safe in this moment.
[00:23:40] If you’re not, please get yourself someplace safe. But let yourself notice the safety in this moment. You’re here with Rick and I. We’re holding the space. We care about you and want you to be successful. Your system wants to heal. And you’re here with other people that are really awesome and want that too.
[00:24:02] And then just gently tap karate chop, even though some of my thoughts are not very logical. Some of my thoughts and fears about money are not very logical. And I’m remembering things that don’t make that much sense. And I’m remembering things that don’t make that much sense. Maybe they’re really impactful.
[00:24:24] Maybe they’re really impactful. I might’ve encoded them when I was two or three or four. I may have encoded them when I was two or three or four. And I didn’t have a lot of experience in the world. And I didn’t have a lot of experience in the world. I may not have been super logical when I made the decisions that I made.
[00:24:45] I’m pretty sure I wasn’t super logical when I made the decisions I made. And it’s okay to unwind those now. And it’s okay to unwind those now. Top of the head. I’m going to use the safety of this space. I’m going to use the safety of this space. Eyebrow and work with my system. And work with my system.
[00:25:07] Side of the eye. And let one idea that needs to shift come up. And let one idea that needs to shift come up. Under the eye. I’ll let my system guide me. I’ll let my system guide me. Under the nose, I’m not ready to be flooded. I’m not ready to be flooded. Tim, but I’d like to do some five pound weights on this.
[00:25:28] I’d like to do some five pound weights on this. Some microsteps. Yeah, collarbone. Clear some stuff out and build some muscles. Clear some stuff out and build some muscles. Under there, it’s okay if it’s illogical. It’s okay if it’s illogical. Top of that, in fact, that might be the most impactful. In fact, that might be the most impactful.
[00:25:51] And just take a gentle breath. It may come up now, it might come up tonight when you’re sleeping. Again, keeping that notepad nearby or sometimes I have the recorder on my phone I’ll just like, remember this. Like, you know, tap on this. Because the things that are not logical tend to slip away. Our subconscious is kind of protecting us from looking at them too closely because it’s not quite sure it’s okay to let them go, but gentle tapping can clear that out too.
[00:26:20] So, um, yeah, just notice what comes up on that. Um, so somewhat I’d like to, can I, can I go back to, um, lemme find it. I so appreciate the chat. Um,
[00:26:37] I agree about energy being connected to money. My husband and I often talk about a scarcity mindset when I operate in fear. Money’s almost frightening, uh huh, but when money is viewed as a tool, like a car, money becomes less intense. I don’t have a problem letting go of money as much as holding on to it.
[00:27:03] Um, so, from,Cathythy and I have done a lot of work around the primitive brain, and when I, When I apply that to my own internal relationship with money, a number of you mentioned secure, I want to feel secure with money. There’s a difference, energetically, isn’t there, between being insecure?
[00:27:36] If you are food insecure, you have insufficient calories to support the sustenance of your life. And maybe the next level of that is I have insufficient food to be able to, to be well nourished, not have any kind of nourishment, nutrient related diseases that would come on for any human. Um, that’s being food insecure.
[00:28:10] And there’s a drive in me that if my, me and my family were food insecure, the kind of energy that would rise in me to make them get them fed is powerful. But guess what? Marketers appeal to that. They twist me and go like, you’re not really secure unless you have a new Tesla because that’s the safest car on the road.
[00:28:41] It’s like, I’m not secure driving in my Mazda because it’s not, even though it’s five star safety rate, it’s not as safe as this. Do you see how you can? Be you that, that primal drive that look, I do not want to starve. I don’t want people. I love to starve. I don’t want anyone to starve. That, that feeling can drive you to a certain place, but then they can grab you by it and pull you, even if you’re living truly a good and sufficient life to feeling insecure all the time, tap, tap, tap.
[00:29:18] If you look at something illogical, like I feel insecure about. Like I could feel insecure about my house. I rent. Okay. Some people that are, have mortgages, they feel insecure about their house, right? I’ve owned houses and felt insecure in my house. I have rented houses and felt insecure in my house. When I, I had a house that I rented the land and they could have changed the lease so that I would have had to pick up my house and move it someplace else.
[00:29:47] Insecure, but that’s a. If I’m living in my primal drive, even though I’m, I’m, I’m actually okay. If you’ve reached the place where you’re okay, security is one of those things that you look at, you can look at, I invite you to look at a little differently because I know people that have 10 million that do not feel secure.
[00:30:17] So it can’t be about the money always. And again, like I have. Clients and loved ones who, who their primal security is more at risk. We are all on somewhere on that spectrum. Um, for our purposes of aligning with you, if they, I just want to feel secure. I want to feel secure about my money. What, what are some other ways?
[00:30:46] That are more the okay to thriving cousins of, uh, like I feel reasonably savvy about the resources I have and how I use them. Now, maybe that’s not true, but it could be, you know, when I look at my, my skills and I’m building some more emotional skills about money right now, um, they’re good and sufficient for me to have a place in the world.
[00:31:22] Where I’m not going to starve. I also have people in my world that are, if you do, that are probably not going to let you starve. I have found great comfort in moving from trying to feel secure to acknowledging right here, right now, I have good and sufficient resources for not just survival, but being okay.
[00:31:51] There’s this, it changes the foundation from trying to get from being insecure to some place which is… It’s sufficient. It’s good and sufficient. The warmth in my house, it’s cold outside, you know, um, if I think about, Oh, what, what about my house insecurity, I can definitely trigger myself. I’m capable of that.
[00:32:16] But sitting here, I can also say, you know, there’s good and sufficient resource for me to be warm and my family to be warm tonight. And that’s a good thing. I don’t need to drive myself from that place of survival and keep going. And when does it end, you know, for me also, like, then there’s a quality of stewardship, like security makes me, I just need to be secure.
[00:32:44] It puts my, the energetics of, I just need to be secure. It block out everything else. Yeah. Think about a line. Now this is deeply personal. When I landed on the word stewardship related to resources, I get tingles still because it fits me. Now, it doesn’t fit everyone, but for me, stewarding resource means the resources in my refrigerator, which sometimes I need to move to my freezer.
[00:33:19] And then in the frost free freezer, I’m stewarding those resources because they don’t last there forever. They last there longer than the refrigerator. Then there’s the deep freeze. And I’m stewarding those resources. Money is also in different containers, just like a refrigerator or a pantry or something else.
[00:33:40] I’m, I’m tending to those. It’s so much easier than sheep.
[00:33:48] So much easier than tending to sheep, or cattle, or chickens. And stewarding, to me, like stewarding the pan, the refrigerator means sometimes there’s food that needs to get thrown away. Like it’s not, it’s no longer a good resource, it needs to get thrown away. Some of it, okay, tonight we’re gonna have this because I don’t mind eating it and it’s ready to, you know, I have, but there’s a flow with it.
[00:34:10] Um, we have a bunch of people asking about tapping on sufficient resource right here, right now, and I think that’s a great place to be. Because one of the things that I think. I still remember when I was in, um, undergrad. I was very poor. I was putting myself through school on some scholarships. I was working a lot of hours.
[00:34:30] I had this little ratty efficiency, but I was so proud of it. I think it was like a hundred dollars a month. It was tiny. It was run down, worn out, but I was so proud. And I have very fond memories thinking about, back about that, going to the laundromat. In my rundown car that wasn’t even, my mom gave it to me because it wasn’t worth trading in.
[00:34:51] They wouldn’t give her anything and I had to put money in to get it running. But my bag of laundry and I was wearing a dress because I had no clean jeans. And it was, I just like, there, it was, it was fine. It was good and sufficient. And now if you put me in that car and that like laundry, I’d be like, Oh my God!
[00:35:09] Like, but it’s… Like, I think that we often have the things that we have more than we realize in many cases. So do you want to leave that or? You do that if you would. Yeah. So again, I invite you to take a nice, gentle, deep breath. We’re actually building the muscle to coming back to ourselves. And you know, if you’re in a stressful situation, if you want to hear Rick’s or my voice is asking you just take a gentle, gentle, deep breath, come back to your body, feel your toes.
[00:35:39] It’s actually, we’re safer than we think. We have more than, more abundance than we think often. So, karate chop. Even though my survival brain would like to be prepared for every eventuality. Really? Even though my survival brain would like to be prepared for every possible eventuality. And it would like more than enough money to get me through the rest of my life.
[00:36:06] And it would like more than enough money to get me through the rest of my life. And I should have done the grocery shopping for the rest of my life as well.
[00:36:16] Okay. And I should do the grocery shopping for the rest of my life as well. And I should have everything that everyone else has. And I should have everything that everyone else has, and anything that I could want. Definitely. Maybe I have sufficient right now. I do have sufficient right now. What if I have more abundance than I realize?
[00:36:40] What if I have more abundance than I realize? What if the universe is actually showering me with love? What if the universe is actually showering me with love and resources? Yeah, top of the head. My primitive brain doesn’t want to acknowledge that. My primitive brain doesn’t Even understand that. It wants to keep running and pushing.
[00:37:04] Yeah. It wants to keep running and pushing or else. Yeah, side of the eye tries to drive me to do more and better. It keeps trying to drive me to do more and better. Under the eye, but I’ve actually got this part handled. Would have actually got this part handled. Under the nose, I already want to do more and better.
[00:37:25] I’ve, of course I want to do more and better. Shin, in a way that’s aligned with me. In a way that’s aligned with me. Collarbone, not out of fear. Not out of fear. Under the arm, my survival brain may always be somewhat scared. My survival brain may always be somewhat scared. Top of the head, if I had enough money and food.
[00:37:52] I had enough money and food. Eyebrow, I’d worry about where my next breath would come from. I’m, yeah, who knows what I’d worry about. Side of the arrow if my friends are going to love me. Or my friends are going to love me. Or they’ll take my food and money. Under the eye. My survival brain is very creative and scared.
[00:38:13] My survival brain is very creative and scared. Under the nose, and I have enough right now. And I have enough right now. Tim, I have abundance right around me. I have some abundance right around me. Collarbone, it may not always look like what I see on TV. May not always look like what I see on TV. Under the arm, but it might be special and unique just for me.
[00:38:41] Might be special and unique just for me. Top of the head, what if I have enough right now? What if I have enough right now? And I can open up to abundance of all kinds. And I can open up to abundance of all kinds. Just a gentle deep breath. Someone had said earlier in the chat that they didn’t necessarily think the money was theirs because they got it because someone passed away.
[00:39:08] Um, I think the universe is looking for ways to send us abundance and we can think of someone passing away as a conduit. One of the straws or, you know, the bank teller things where they zip you, you know, the little vacuum things. You know, what if it’s looking for ways that we would open up and receive that or that it can, in the flow and logic of our, of our world, that it can get us that money.
[00:39:30] Doesn’t mean that the money doesn’t belong to us. It’s just something that was a conduit. And if that person was, you know, was going to pass away, why not send that to, to us, maybe with love, maybe with, you know, just out of legal, that’s how the legal way, but just knowing that we can accept what’s coming to us.
[00:39:48] And a number of people have talked about sessions and not, you know, struggling with asking for what they’re worth. It’s like, this is another place where we get to exchange energy. And I imagine that anyone that’s on this call is a very heart centered coach or therapist or whatever they’re doing.
[00:40:06] Probably give a lot of energy and attention. And I know there’s been plenty of times when I was really desperate for love and attention. I would have spent anything I had for that. That kind of caring and thoughtful presence that you would bring for those people. So your sessions are probably priceless to the people that are, that they’re right for.
[00:40:28] And it’s okay to ask, you know, this is my price. And if you want to do sliding scale like Rick does, great. I don’t do sliding scale for sessions because my time is very limited. Um, you get to do what’s the whole, this whole. Call has been a while. What’s aligned for you? So if we just think of, Oh, this is a way that we can exchange some of the love and the energy, the caring and the energy in the universe.
[00:40:52] What do I feel is a good exchange? What leaves me feeling good after a session? That’s what I’m going to charge for it. And I’m going to do the work I need to do to make sure I’m giving a lot of value during that time. So just trying to weave a few things in there. So in the, in the chat. Limited belief came up during that tapping.
[00:41:13] Oh, just scroll. If I allow myself to feel like I have enough, then I will stop acquiring, pushing for, and getting what I need. Yeah. Um, yeah. If you’re driven by your primitive brain and you don’t have another energy activation, don’t worry, your primitive brain will kick in. It will push the button. It knows where your accelerator is.
[00:41:42] Part of this. The align with you is for me, aligning with myself as someone who wants to be thriving and help and be useful in all of us looking at, well, does this eternal drive of acquiring and pushing and making everything into a need serving us as humanity?
[00:42:10] Does it serve my thriving to be constantly pushing? Yeah. Um, I, so that’s where the align with me is like, I think there’s a fear based and then there’s a true calling and there’s been times when I’ve been really driving on a fear based and when I stepped out, I didn’t want to do much for a while because I was burnt out.
[00:42:34] But then once I started coming out of that burnout, I naturally wanted to do more. And it wasn’t like, I would rather go to a coach or therapist or friend that is helping out of genuine attachment and like, Oh, I really care about this person. I want to make the world better versus I have to, because I have to, because my survival brain’s like pushing the adrenaline button or the fear button.
[00:42:57] So yeah. And so here’s, um, here’s some possibilities with that. One is to recognize, like if your life is structured around a certain drive and viewing things as a, as a need, then, Hey, keep going. The micro step is, well, what matters to me? What would I do? Even if, even if, if I didn’t, if I didn’t have to, what would still matter to me?
[00:43:30] What work would still matter to me? How do I want to, like, for me? It’s an ecosystem. So the orientation is I’m a steward of resources that starts with my, my one life, my 24 hours, my energy, my life force, which is like the weather. It changes. Some days are beautiful. Some days are let’s stay inside and drink tea and shiver.
[00:43:57] Um, so like I have a resource myself. I have we spaces. I’m a part of, I steward them. Um, money’s a facilitator to me. Um, it’s extremely useful. Like I love the fact that money makes it possible for me to have a business. Um, money allows for exchange and easy. I don’t have to, like if I served a bunch of people that love to make, um, loved eggs.
[00:44:30] And I just got dozens and dozens and dozens of eggs as payment for what I did. I, I’m, almost no one in my family eats eggs. So, I’ve got a problem. I’ve got to now take the eggs and move them somewhere else. Money, stewarding money is, is easier for me because it’s not where my life force is. I don’t… I need to steward money in the same way I need to steward my other energies.
[00:44:57] Um, and it’s useful. So the micro step for me is like, Oh, well,
[00:45:10] I get this energy of, I need this. How much of it do I need in order to be okay. And then what’s thriving look like for me,
[00:45:28] what would be luxury, you know, like, but for me. As a, as a steward, I like at least being aware of what’s good and sufficient. Good. It’s good. It’s like, you know, I’m fortunate. I am really fortunate. I’m good. This is good. You know, my ancestors go back enough generations and they think I’m an alien. Right.
[00:45:52] Like, right. Like I’ve got it good. If I’m aware of that, then it’s like, Oh, and now what, what, what matters to me? Well, I like to be generous. So I structure my business. So there’s an opportunity for mutual generosity, mutuality, but not obligated mutuality, like, like generosity of the heart. I’ve structured my business that way.
[00:46:23] That’s one of, one of my structures. And so, but these types of things, the more that you look at, Hey, um, what would feel better to me?
[00:46:41] If, if I’m afraid of feeling like I have enough, um,
[00:46:53] what’s something that I want to put some life force into that
[00:47:01] isn’t about acquiring, isn’t about something that I need. It’s something that matters to me.
[00:47:10] If we were to ever live in a world where all of our. Resource needs the actual fundamental human needs were tended to what would I layer on top of that now right now we’re still responsible for our basic human needs to this is the quality of thriving for me is okay. If I’m not doing it for status, if I’m not doing it for pushing, if I’m not deluding myself that I just need one more pair of shoes.
[00:47:43] Um, what do I, what matters to me to put my, my life force into? Um, I put a container on my business. It’s a hundred hours a month. My devotion as a steward is to use that hundred hours out of, which runs about three to four hours a day. Seven days a week, but three to four hours a day on average out of 24.
[00:48:14] That’s that’s generous with myself and my choices, my family and other things. I want to do work that matters. And so what’s work that matters and because it’s. Work that matters to me, the definition of business work that matters is that there’s a potential for the exchange of money, even if not guaranteed.
[00:48:36] I want to have that as part of the ecosystem, part of the exchange of inflows. Um, because running a business, there’s definitely outflows. So there’s going to be a circulation there. And being a good steward, creative, whatever. I, one of the things I like to talk about, we’re talking, I want to make sure we go back to boundaries a little more.
[00:48:59] But when we’re considering what’s true for us, what’s authentic for us, there’s a couple of things that I love to consider on money is one is my future self. So I am like Rick was talking about, we’re stewarding this, but I try to put a certain, like I’ve maxed my 401k. That’s one of my rules. Once I started working a full time job, max my 401k, the only time I touched it was something I really, I thought very prayerfully about, but that’s my future self.
[00:49:30] So every time I put money in that, that’s like, oh, that might be a, you know, I don’t want to be someone I’ve always watched some of my grandmother’s friends where they reuse tea bags until the water was not Even turning colors because they couldn’t afford teabags and that just was like, oh, I, you know, I felt so bad for them.
[00:49:48] I was little, so I couldn’t do very much, but I also didn’t want to be that. So some of the money I put aside is for my future self. And I think when we’re setting boundaries around money, um, sometimes people will look at the now and it can be harder to say, no, this is my savings. This is, this is for me in the future.
[00:50:07] It’s harder to, you know, like. Put a boundary around that versus a certain percentage of everything I earn goes towards my future self so she can not only not have to reuse tea bags but can have an occasional beach vacation. I might go out for steaks sometimes you know like it’s not I want to have a life where I’m having adventures and doing things.
[00:50:27] So, when you’re setting boundaries around money or considering what’s authentic to you and your expression around boundaries. I think it’s useful to consider your future self. And then another thing I love to consider is the shoulds around money. There’s a lot of best practices around money and I follow some of them.
[00:50:45] I don’t follow others, but I think it can be useful to look and see what people do to decide, because there’s a lot of wisdom there and some of them may fit for you as some of it may not. So for example, tithing. That’s something that some people should around money. I’m not religious. I don’t want to give money to a church.
[00:51:04] I do like the idea of giving back to the world. So, I don’t do 10%, like some people say tithe 10 percent or whatever. I do, I, but, I… Uh, the local food bank, there’s a, a place that gives money to homeless people here and they, they, uh, they do a really good job with the money you give them to, like, stretch the, the budget and get, help people.
[00:51:25] So, a certain portion of my money goes to that every month because that makes me feel good. So, we can look at the shoulds and the oughts around money and, like, having a savings account. Oh, having an emergency savings fund is so, it makes my survival brain just go. Okay, and I hardly ever touch it, but I want to have that.
[00:51:45] So I think it’s okay to look at what other people are doing, but look for your authentic expression around that. Um, how do you want to express yourself around that? It doesn’t have to be whatever they’re saying, but look at the wisdom like, oh, having the same emergency savings would make me really I want to do that.
[00:52:03] How can I do that? Well, what if I put a, you know, you can start off as like 10 a week or like each paycheck 100 or whatever it is. You just start putting it away. Just a silly like thing that works really well for me. I have a separate bank. For my emergency savings. It’s not my normal bank that I pay things that I look at.
[00:52:23] I send it off to a different bank. I don’t see it until I look at it once a month. I look at all my accounts. But it’s not every time, when I’m going to spend money, I don’t see it. It’s automatically withdrawn from my paycheck. It automatically goes there. And it’s not something I spend money out of unless it’s an emergency.
[00:52:41] So there’s no muscles for spending that off. If that makes sense. When we come back from our break, I’d like to go deeper into the energetics of the containers, because I believe that, um, the containers that, um, adding some conscious choice, not just to the containers that we have. And like, like Cathy said, she creates a border, a boundary logistically, having it in a separate bank.
[00:53:12] Can you feel the energy? Like, oh, That would be different, right? Like I go to that bank when I’m making a, a dis like if there’s an emergency, um, I’ve got some, some ways that I’ve. I’ve refined that for myself as a steward, um, that I look forward to sharing with you and getting your ideas too. Um, because for me, the, the flows like Cathy was talking about, like how do you flow into it?
[00:53:43] That’s a boundary with yourself, a system. Um, uh, what is your energetic… Process like to spend out of that right like that’s a boundary that you keep with yourself or maybe with the people that you share, um, share a fund with so we’re gonna take a 7 minute break and when we come back, we’ll go deeper into that.
[00:54:12] And, um, I it’s been such a life changer for me that I look forward to sharing it with you.
[00:54:24] Welcome back. Thank you. Um, someone said, I want to thrive in a way that builds others and not a way to take from others to fill my own desires. And as, as an energetically sensitive word person,
[00:54:43] there is an energy of taking from someone like, Oh, you have an orange. I want an orange. Okay, school yard. Three year old kind of taking
[00:55:01] our survival brain, um, has challenges with what’s a consensual exchange. What’s a good exchange. Um, and that’s where aligning with you, like, do you believe that it is good and useful and thriving for people to find ways to meet their desires? If I have a desire for. Connection and there’s somebody available that I can pay who will show up on time and help me practice connection or piano or difficult conversations or listen to what’s going on inside of me that I, I need somebody else to.
[00:55:48] To hold that space or tap with me or, um, clear the leaves, you know, the guy that clears the leaves has desires of his, and I think that to fulfill our own desires includes. What matters to us. In fact, if it’s sourced from what matters to us, then Oh, holy night. That is a great place for us to come from.
[00:56:16] Like my desires matter to me. I want the exchange of energy to be consensual. Um, I want it to be something that is mutually nourishing and beneficial wherever possible. I’m not taking responsibility for what other someone else desires, but I am at the boundary, at the border. I want to feel, does this feel good to me?
[00:56:45] Does it feel like it’s mutual? It’s okay if somebody is desperate for water and you sell water to provide for that.
[00:57:02] Now, my values are Like, if I have an abundance of water and someone is desperate for water, but they cannot, they, they don’t have anything to exchange other than a thank you, or even not that, um, I want to include as part of my, my bucket, I would, I would, I would take that into account in my water business.
[00:57:26] You know, like there’s going to be people coming. Some of them won’t have money to put her water and whatever you do, you don’t have to do that. You don’t have to be like, for me, emotional freedom says you get to decide where your boundaries are. And if you’re good and clear and savvy about communicating them and, um, I, I avoid people who are, who are, um, the type that want what they want, whether it’s consensual with me or not.
[00:58:06] Um, I have, I avoid people that poke my FOMO or my primitive brain. They may have a great, something great to offer, but that’s like one of my boundaries. If I’m, if
[00:58:20] I have. A boundary around money that flows out. If I’ve been triggered into fear of missing out, I pause. Why? Because if I don’t, I’m going to spend a lot of money because somebody’s good at like poking that part of me. I needed a sacred pause. If I’ve got FOMO, that’s usually not my. My best course of action and, and these are the types of things that we could say, Hey, you know, before I spend more than 10, 20, a hundred dollars, whatever number works for you, uh, if I feel that my primitive brain is a big part of making this decision and greed and, uh, FOMO or, um, desperation.
[00:59:09] I want to pause and allow myself to get in alignment. That’s the work of emotional freedom, is to recognize my primitive brain is driving the show, whether it’s out of a drive to feel secure, um, uh, that’s beyond okay, um, And shifting that. So is it okay if I keep talking here? Do you have something you want to add there?
[00:59:36] You wanted to talk about the containers too, and I think that’s really important for people. Which goes, which goes to the containers. So, um, Cathy talked about an emergency fund. So everyone imagine you have an emergency fund. I have an emergency fund. Okay. What would you think, just by the name of it, would be the energy of what that fund is useful for?
[01:00:05] Emergencies. It’s right there. It’s an emergency fund. It’s there when the shit hits the fan. I have a resource. Um, I carry emergency food with me in the car with toddlers and stuff like that. You know, you don’t know when. The screams are going to begin, and having a, having a, a flower bar, we call them, or a meat stick, or something, it’s just, it’s life or death.
[01:00:38] It’s life or death, we try to think. Not that they’re going to die, but just in the emotional realm. So emergency fund now, I had an emergency fund because that’s what you’re supposed to, you should have an emergency fund. It was the flattest deadest thing because I don’t want to live from an emergency to emergency.
[01:00:58] It was good to have it. Like if you, if you said, Hey Rick, you know, how are you doing financially? Well, I’ve got this emergency fund. Okay. Now, for some people, that is such a beautiful thing, like, uh, you know, Cathy, you could tell by the look on her face that emergency fund is really grounding. It is a resource.
[01:01:16] It’s like food in the pantry, um, and gas in the tank. Uh, you know, the earthquake hits, I’m okay. Um,
[01:01:30] I found myself with that being flatter and flatter until I came up with the idea Given my spirit buddy said, how about a freedom fund? Oh, what’s that freedom fund? Well, if I have a hundred dollars in a freedom fund, I am free to do things that require a hundred dollars or less that if I didn’t have that, I wouldn’t be free to do.
[01:02:02] I could go to the hot springs. I could get a 20 minute or 50 minute massage. I could take a loved one out to a meal. I could, there’s so much choice, right? A freedom fund for me. Activates
[01:02:30] options and if you’re someone that you can have a safety fund and a freedom fund, you sure can, right? So, well, imagine that I have Rick’s freedom fund. Can you feel like that’s Rick’s freedom and it’s funded. You don’t even have to know how much is there. It could be enough for a massage. It could be enough for a trip around the world.
[01:02:55] It doesn’t matter. Right? You know that Rick is more free having something. If he has, if he has eight dollars, he can go get a coffee. I could call that my emergency coffee fund, with eight bucks in it. But it’s really Rick’s freedom to go get a coffee, and maybe I don’t. What about a family freedom fund?
[01:03:19] Would you imagine the boundaries going out? Of a family freedom fund might be different. So I have a family freedom fund and the family freedom fund, um, is for stewarding choice and freedom and the nourishment and thriving and survival. If it ever came to that, uh, my family, neither of the adults can just decide on their own.
[01:03:54] The boundary, the border between what’s in the freedom fund and it coming out Is a very specific sacred. Very specific. It is a sacred process. It requires congruence, consent, alignment, agreement, et cetera. Oh, and it’s such a relief to have a family freedom fund. It, it has changed my sense of. The stewardship of my family.
[01:04:31] Um, we have a system where a percentage of the gross that comes into either of our businesses goes into the family freedom fund every month. If we’re not doing that, it’s okay. No nine lashes, but it’s a sacred, it’s a sacred thing. We want to grow in freedom. We want to grow in options. We want to acknowledge the devotion that we have as parents, as lovers, as, as, as part of a, a kinship to like, do you see, and because it has a different boundary, there’s like, I can’t just go reinvested in something different.
[01:05:19] We agree to how it’s structured. The energetics of it. We have a structure where that, that pot holds up to 50 percent of our assets. Why? Because, well, I value Rick’s freedom fund too. And it was a part of me that if the family freedom fund would hold as much as it could, well. I would probably be generous to the extent that I would start feeling less free.
[01:05:55] So, um, if a birthday present comes in, it’s for Rick, I might spend it on my family, but I could put it in the Rick’s freedom fund. Um, My kids have a Freedom Fund. They don’t have direct access. They don’t even know that it exists, but it is cultivated. It came into their, into the family, and we treat their Freedom Fund like we would not spend money out of that without it being for the best and highest use.
[01:06:23] That’s not quite the energetics of it. It would be a sacred decision to spend out of their Freedom Fund. And it would need to be for them. There are emergencies that come up. It could be that there’s a, an emergency. It doesn’t mean the, the freedom funds can’t be used for emergencies, but they have more vitality and vibrancy.
[01:06:46] And I will say too, like I used to use the excuse and I’ve still used it this last year at least three times. We can’t afford it. I w I’m in the process of breaking myself because if Rick’s freedom fund or the family freedom fund, or. Whatever could pay for it. I don’t want to use that excuse because that’s about the scarcity.
[01:07:17] What I want to say is I’ve considered that and that’s not the way that I want to spend my resources right now. It doesn’t feel like good stewardship of my resource, our resources, our family resources. I want my kids to hear that because I think that that changes the energetics from being. Can I afford it or not afford it?
[01:07:40] I think that creates a lot of the dynamics around credit and debt. I think it creates a lot of the dynamics around, um, how we’re manipulated into short term versus long term. Um, uh, Thriving Now has a stewardship fund, you can imagine. So the donations that I get, I take that money right now and I, my system is that that money matures for a period of time.
[01:08:09] At least a year and I want to build up something and I can, there are certain guidelines that I have in mind, like, maybe I can only take out 8 percent of that stewardship fund for any one purpose or any one year or any one month. I haven’t landed quite where I want. There’s not that much there. Um, but as something grows, you start feeling into, Hey, what, what are my parameters are?
[01:08:40] Our parameters for how this is used different buckets, you know, they. They matter. Um, the energetics of things really matter more to me than is, it’s silly. It’s, it’s, it’s almost cuckoo. Um, a bank name. Um, I used to be with self help credit union, the energetics of self help. Someone said it like, Hey, We over push this idea of self help.
[01:09:16] It’s really more about community help, community care, self care, community care. We do need to wipe our own butts wherever we can, but like a lot of it. And I, I just got to the place where it’s like, no. No, I can’t be with you anymore. You’re in the energetics are different. If you’re weird like that, welcome to the club.
[01:09:40] Um, there’s, there are other things too. Like some people choose to store energy and. And different currencies, um, I’ve noticed that the diversification of that for me is a big deal. I can’t hold, um, like I’ve learned energetically that if I hold a, an ETF that has a whole bunch of companies that I would never do business with ever, the energetics of it are off.
[01:10:11] And so I tend to hold companies that I’m at least a customer if I have stock in one of the funds. Um, I use Bitcoin because it’s used by these kids in, in, uh, in Africa, surfer kids, and I can send them Bitcoin and help buy them lunch and nobody can stand in the way of me doing that. No bank, no wire transfer, no Western union, no fees.
[01:10:40] And so like, this is, this is the, and you can probably feel that. The more that I’ve done to align these things for me and tapped on the primitive brain stuff that comes up. You find little steps and, uh, I, I believe that if we are savvy enough as human beings to know that there are some things that are in a pantry or a cellar, a refrigerator, a great technology, freezer, whoa, wow, technology, deep freeze, um, money has been in vaults and other things, feel for where Um, when it comes to money as a store of your energy and even around the transfer of energy, um, I do tap about like, it’s not where I want it to be right now.
[01:11:38] Um, and I put my intentions on making it easier and easier for humans to, to tend to their energy in a sovereign way, a way that’s free, a way that’s secure, more secure than what we’ve had. Um, over time when you know, I think that some of the things you’re modeling by talking about that are, we have better boundaries and we know where we want to spend investor money or where we want it to go.
[01:12:10] So, if we know if money coming in, I want to put this percentage in my safety fund. I want to put this money in my freedom fund. Um, then when someone comes up and says, oh, you’re not going to buy me lunch and it’s like, you know, my money’s already allocated. I have money going to my future self so she can have a nice lunch and, um, and then we can decide a little better.
[01:12:33] But I think when we’re not, when it’s not allocated, we don’t, haven’t decided what’s important to us. It’s really easy for people to like, kind of, how can I stand up for this? I don’t really know that it’s mine and I don’t really know what I’m going to do with it and I don’t feel aligned with it. As we start feeling more aligned, like, huh, I love the idea of a freedom fund.
[01:12:52] I want to have, like, even if it’s, you know, a hundred dollars a month where I can just choose something, that creates a whole other level of adventure. I want that for myself. Um, and if that means not treating someone to lunch when you don’t want to, then maybe you use that freedom fund to do that, because it feels delightful for you, but you’re Aligning a little more with your own energy and choice versus other people pulling at you, because I think there’s a lot of manipulation and feelings of obligations around money.
[01:13:24] Oh, I have a little more than that person, then how can I not treat them or whatever. Um, one of the things that Rick and I do on Thriving Now, I don’t do sliding scale with sessions. It doesn’t feel right to me because I have so limited time because I work full time. Um, but one of the, on Thriving Now, there’s over 800 free tapping scripts that Rick and I’ve written and put out there.
[01:13:44] So like, you don’t have to spend anything. And we had people that were like, how can you charge for this? And like, and Rick, I remember one time you were not this really beautiful response that was like, okay, well I have, in order to send out this free email where you’re getting all this free information, I have to spend this much.
[01:14:01] Like here’s the server. Here’s all these different costs that, you know, I have to cope. You know, some, somebody has to pay for that and yes, we can charge for healing services and we also love to be generous. We want that to be accessible. That’s something that’s important to us. And we don’t get to tell other people what to do with their time and energy.
[01:14:20] Um, and I think that’s something like, I see couples a lot of times with money and with time where they’ve kind of enmeshed themselves and mirror imaged each other. So they forget that they’re individual people. Um, and I love the idea of yours, mine and ours in relationship. This is something that works well for me.
[01:14:38] Take what you like, but it’s like, okay, we have this much money that has to go to bills and covering, you know, maybe we’re saving for doing the bathroom in a few years or whatever, but there’s an agreement on this much comes to each of, you know, comes to the joint things that we’re covering, we’re sharing, and then there can be And you don’t get to tell me what I do with my time or my money, and I don’t get to tell you.
[01:15:04] And I think that that gives a freedom that a lot of relationships I don’t see in it. Where there’s like, I, you know, I see a lot of people where they’re assuming they can spend each other’s time, energy, attention, and money. And then they’re, they’re resentful that they spent the money. They’re not really recognizing them as separate human beings.
[01:15:22] Um, and I think when we start practicing that, It can give us a little bit. It can give us some more freedom. Like, Hey, okay, you, you’re, you have your freedom fund. Do you spent it? Okay. It’s spent and replenish it. There’s, there’s lots of ways to exchange. Please don’t judge me. I want, you know, if I, you think what I did was frivolous, that’s.
[01:15:43] I get to be frivolous, it’s my choice, but having some separation, some, the compartmental thing, like this is ours, we’re doing it together, we have, like Rick said, he and his partner have to decide together to spend something, and then there’s individual, like, my freedom. People were talking in the original call when we just talked about having this, the money boundaries call.
[01:16:06] People were talking about, like, kids that were trying to ask for money and pulling on them. You know, like, it’s okay to get really clear on where you want your alignment to be. And to tune into that and then say, you know, that doesn’t match what I, you know, you may have expectations, you may have, you know, thoughts about what I owe you, but if you’re an adult child that’s able to take care of themselves, like, I don’t really think that that’s, you know, like we get to decide and I don’t want resentment in a relationship.
[01:16:38] I think it’s toxic to the relationship. So if I’m giving it because I feel like I have to or obligated to, that’s not really healthy for the relationship. So I would rather say no and let them deal with their disappointment. Yeah, I can tell them I love them and for some people they’ve equated love like, you know, I love you very much, and this is not how I’m gonna show my love right now.
[01:17:02] That’s okay. It’s okay to let people be disappointed a little bit. Yeah. And, you know,
[01:17:16] it’s very tender because, um, you know, the energy of money, it feels like it’s tangible, like you have dollars and a bank balance and things like that. Um, but as we talked about, like in the exchange of 20, what’s the energetic there? Um,
[01:17:38] you know, I, I explored with a client about creating, um, uh, a kinship fund. I have one, um, and the kinship fund is something where. Whatever you put into it, it’s, it’s to support those that you have a heart. My, my kinship phone is to support those that I have a heart connection. For this person, it’s to support their family, um, especially adult children.
[01:18:11] And some of them have needs and some of them have an entitled feeling and some of them like, um, but by having a container that says, When I flow into this container of kinship, I want to, I want to be able to feel ease. So like, the container itself is already energetically intended to be part of my sharing of my resource with my kin.
[01:18:48] However, however, a person defines can, um, can you feel the difference energetically if that’s important to you that you’re not being pulling from your emergency fund or your retirement fund all the time or pulling from equity from the house that you intentionally, if it’s in alignment with you to be available for gifts to people, you can come up with your own energetic Like, Hey, 8 percent of the increase in my net worth a year I put into this fund.
[01:19:25] I’m completely pulling that out of the air. And it’s something that I’ve seen people do and it’s available and that you can, you can kind of feel into what is my decision making what’s my, yes. Um, And that, this is likCathyhy started us off. We don’t know the answers to this. I believe money is going to evolve still in my lifetime.
[01:19:55] I believe that how money is being treated is, is, um, chaotic, um, not well stewarded. Um, and so when I think, I think more in terms of the energy. If, if somebody I love wants to, is hungry, I want to share food with them. Sometimes if they’re cold, what they need is their electric bill paid. Um, um, it’s not an alignment for me to loan money.
[01:20:29] Uh, every time I’ve done it, I’ve been sick. Like there’s been a tension and stress until it’s paid back and it’s never really enhanced the relationship. So like, I know for me, I. It doesn’t feel good to me. If you know that about yourself, but you want to be generous and responsive to needs from those that are close enough to you that they have.
[01:20:54] You know, they have a claim on at least asking you, um, how do you want to be with that? And, um, There’s a comment in the chat. Yeah. I just thought it was a useful one. Someone shared, what if I want to nurture my partner with things money can buy because I want to show appreciation and gratefulness, but there’s always just enough, not enough for gifts.
[01:21:18] How do I shift the feeling and not be able to afford it. And I, I wonder if you can like tie it in with like, Hey, I’m paying the electric. I’m paying the electric bill because I want to be I want us to feel both feel warm and I want I want like we can tell someone this is, you know, like, or we make them toast and we’re like giving them.
[01:21:36] I bought this bread and this butter and I’m put it together to give it to you. It doesn’t have to always be over the top gifts or else, you know, something that’s, it can be like Rick said it could be I’m paying the electric bill. As a gift for, for our, for our well being and I want you to be warm and have light.
[01:21:55] Um, and that can be really, I think sometimes setting the intention and sharing it that way and putting the energy into it can be as big a gift as like a diamond ring or something like that. Um, And there’s nothing saying you can’t put make it. We can make things more special. And like, I write out the check to the electric bill and like, honey, I just want to let you know that I’m, you know, really grateful that we have the money to pay this electric bill.
[01:22:20] And I’m paying it right now as a gift to you as an act of service to you. That might really touch them. And just that abundance, that feeling of appreciation. To me, opens up more conduits, more ways we can notice abundance around us and ways we could perhaps let more money, more abundance into our lives.
[01:22:41] Yeah. And we’ve reached the end of our time, but not the end of this conversation. You know, I, I believe that our relationship to our own life force and in savvy, relating and engaging, um, money is going to be a part of it as far as I can see for a while and how we. Um, how we use our chi, including the chi that ends up being in, in money.
[01:23:07] Um, you know, sometimes we take a nap because we know that our life force is going to be called upon later. Um, I took two naps today, um, to be ready and be here with you all. Um, and you know, if we notice that our money is just, just enough, one of the things that I, I ask myself is what, what do I value more than maybe something that I own?
[01:23:38] That has a market value, something I could sell. Um, something that I spend money on myself. Um, that even a small increment that I’m privately tending to the freedom fund, the generosity fund, the gift fund. Um, and I’m tending to that. I’m stewarding it. I’m tending to it. I’m cultivating it. I’m putting some life force into it.
[01:24:10] Oh, one of the things that you may notice. As you, as you feel into these containers that feel good to you is that when you put 10 into it, there’s a natural call going back to what we, if I don’t need it, but I want it, you can come up with ideas. You may notice that instead of getting this right now, what if I did this, put that into this container, it actually feels better to me and start shifting us into a longterm thriving, um, lower time preference, longer term view, not just for ourself, but imagining and it can be quiet, some partners, you know.
[01:25:01] Their relationship to money is still evolving too. But if you have a fund that you’re tending to and offering into, feel the energetics when it’s ridiculously small. The first 10, the first 50.
[01:25:25] And if it’s right for you, you may notice that your heartistry goes, yeah. This is worth it. This matters to me. I’m in alignment with cultivating this. It’s a good container. It’s in the right place. I want to have, and there’s a place for my abundance and my creativity and my work that matters to flow now, not just into what’s now, the bills now, always bills now, but also something that opens up and expands my options for the future.
[01:25:56] What are we getting in the exchange? We’re paying the bills, but what are, what abundance do we have? I do want to appreciate, if you can, let yourself appreciate the fact you just spent the last hour and a half looking at something that a lot of people avoid their entire lives. And even if one idea shifts something in your world one percent, those one percents add up and you can end up in a very different place.
[01:26:18] So congratulations, and you know, please let yourself appreciate you, your curious, your curiosity and your courage for being here. Thank youCathyhy. Thank you all. Um, yeah, and, uh, we’ll keep you posted on new RealSkills workshops. We’re going to do one workshop in December, and then we’re also going to get together with Circle members.
[01:26:42] If you’re not yet a Circle member, thrivingnow. com slash circle can tell you more about what else we do together, where there’s more interaction, one on one. So bye for now.
Great to have you on this journey with us!
Striving for money or security can impact our ability to thrive:
- Constantly striving for happiness, money, or success can actually make us less happy because we’re focused on what we don’t have rather than appreciating what we do have.
- According to psychologist Barry Schwartz, if your definition of success keeps increasing as you achieve goals, you’ll never feel truly satisfied.
- Lasting happiness comes from finding balance between feeling secure and trusting in moments of joy, not constantly pushing for more.
- Focus on self-regulation, mindfulness, and activities that bring meaning rather than striving for unattainable ideals of constant joy or ecstasy.
- Seek out “glimmers”, small moments of sensory delight, connection, or beauty that nourish you. This is more sustainable than seeking big peak experiences.
- Foster relationships and appreciate what you have rather than focusing on what you lack. Gratitude and connection to others increases happiness more than material success.
In summary, while striving for money or security is natural, over-focusing on these can prevent us from appreciating the small joys in life. Moderating expectations and cultivating meaning, connection and appreciation of “glimmers” leads to more sustainable happiness.
Love this. Thanks Rick for the summary. It sounds also a lot like the ethos in the health program I’m in.