“A man with outward courage dares to die; a man with inner courage dares to live.” ~ @breathelesss
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This rings true for me. Do I really and truly dare to live? That is the question. I think a lot of the work here in the centre has that kind of underlying question as a foundational element. Fits with the concept of Thriving as a possibility from Surviving
It’s an energetic shift from survival energy to expanding into thriving energy. What part(s) of us are Source for our Choices?
I mean, “dare to live” from a survival standpoint is keep ourselves and those we are obligated to from dying, living long enough to breed the next generation. That’s primal. Useful for perpetuation of the species. In our culture, though, survival can look like hiding. Feel like it, too.
Thriving builds from a different posture. Growth isn’t “just” to insure survival of the fittest and the status that keeps us safer (or the avoidance of threat that keeps us from being ‘eaten’).
Where does that energy come from, to thrive then? If my heart is given more of the choice, my head can respond with options and pathways and possibilities. If my primitive brain is given the lead, well, the world looks scary and narrow.
Interesting, isn’t it? One can almost feel (grin) the evolution of our minds, how mind-cells formed in our heart and gut and everywhere. We have indeed sensors for thriving well beyond what would be needed for surviving-only.
It’s what drives technology, like the tech we’re using right now for us to have this engagement even though you are kin across the other side of the globe! For survival this time and energy is NOT needed. NOT required.
For thriving, well, I get to like and engage and enjoy the thoughts and realness of kin wherever they choose to live. Indeed, this morning I realize that the “survival comfort zone” is really quite puny compared to all that we actually are engaging around.
So are you daring to live? To thrive? Perhaps everything and anything we do that isn’t “just” to keep from dying is outside that zone.
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I might start to work with exploring and connecting to the Source of my smallest decisions and build from there.
Small small teeny tiny seems like it fits right there just outside the Zone. Daring to live and to thrive I am starting to understand more deeply why you have been talking about connecting to and focusing on and building what matters as a counterpoint to so many human experiences and emotions
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Courage to Thrive - Embracing Adventures Outside The Comfort Zone
“Courage is the energy that is palpably different than willpower.” —Rick
Let’s explore how to step outside the comfort zone—without forcing, without white‑knuckling, and without sacrificing our nervous system. We’ll hold both the spark of desire and the parts that feel scared or resistant. We’ll take baby steps, regulate, prepare wisely, and use EFT Tapping to build capacity.
What Counts as an Adventure?
“There’s a difference between an adventure and a forced march.”
Adventure is any experience with some unplannedness—enough unknown to invite exploration. During the height of COVID, going to the grocery store felt like an adventure. For a super‑planner, turning left when we don’t have a map can be an adventure. It’s not about scale; it’s personal. Your adventure might be posting art on Instagram, speaking up in a meeting, walking around the block, or trying contact improv.
We want a nutritious mix: some safe-and-known, some stretch-and-unknown. Too much novelty overwhelms; zero novelty stifles. We thrive with both.
Courage ≠ “Just Do It”
“Humans plan and God laughs.”
Willpower tries to shove us forward. Courage lets our heart lead, while our body stays resourced enough to meet surprises, blocks, and choices along the way. We’re not rallying adrenaline to skip past fear. We’re being with the split-screen: “Part of me wants this” and “Part of me is scared.” Both get space.
Baby Steps & Tolerating Discomfort
“If we say ‘I’ll do it until it’s too scary,’ the survival brain will make it too scary immediately.”
Capacity grows by micro‑dosing discomfort. Five seconds of being with a hard topic can become twenty minutes a week later. We’re not tearing muscles; we’re building stamina. Stay in the yellow zone, not orange/red. That’s how we avoid re‑traumatizing and actually expand our window of tolerance.
Not Exposure Therapy
“We’re regulating while we approach; we’re not just enduring.”
We use imagination, talk, and tapping to let the body learn safely. We address beliefs and feelings, adjust dosage, prepare wisely, and keep our system in relationship with the material. This is different from “sit with it and tolerate for an hour.”
The Four Practical Moves We Use (and Reuse)
“Preparation can be physical, emotional, financial, and relational.”
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What’s scary (or uncomfortable) about this? Name it honestly.
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Wise preparation. Shoes with grip, an exit plan, a friend, a private audience first, a charged phone, cash, or a buddy system—whatever your nervous system needs.
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Beliefs. “I’m a terrible dancer.” “I’m too old.” “It’ll never happen.” Surface them so we can tap on them.
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Why it matters. Stack reasons that feel real—even tender. This pulls us forward.
We’ll weave these moves through the tapping rounds below.
EFT Tapping Round — Holding Desire and Discomfort
Coaching frame: Let’s acknowledge the mixed reality—attraction and repulsion—and let our heart hold both.
Side of Hand: Even though I’m aware of this discomfort, and it feels uncomfortable, there’s both attraction and repulsion here, and I accept that I have this conflict.
Top of Head: I have a conflict.
Eyebrow: It’s uncomfortable.
Side of Eye: I’m holding both my desire and my discomfort.
Under the Eye: This takes skill—and yes, it takes courage.
Under the Nose: Part of me wants to run, hide, rush through, or forget it.
Chin: Another part says, “Just do it,” and I’m noticing that push.
Collarbone: I’m aware of the conflict—and it’s not a bad sign; it’s human.
Under the Arm: I want clarity. Why do I want this? What makes it matter to me?
(Write down a few “why it matters” reasons now.)
Wise Fearlessness & Preparation
“Maybe I’m not actually prepared yet—and that part of me is encouraging me.”
Preparation isn’t avoidance; it’s love for our nervous system. Sometimes the wisest thing is to get better shoes, a softer audience, a buddy, or a clear exit. Sometimes it’s a few rehearsals in imagination. Let the “not ready” signal move you toward wise supports.
EFT Tapping Round — “Not Ready Yet” (Turning Readiness into Loving Prep)
Coaching frame: We’ll respect the part that says “not yet” and convert it into practical prep.
Side of Hand: Even though a part of me does not feel ready, what if that’s actually true and helpful; I can do wise preparation, regulate, have backup plans, get body and mind ready, even micro‑dose the experience.
Top of Head: There’s more preparation I can do—of course.
Eyebrow: I don’t need to over‑prepare.
Side of Eye: I can listen to my body’s desire to be safe.
Under the Eye: Prepare for adventure in a way that fits me.
Under the Nose: Adventure is a different state of being.
Chin: It’s a skill I can develop.
Collarbone: Wise fearlessness—both courage and care.
Under the Arm: I can take the next right baby step.
Expectations, Possibilities & Play
“High possibility, low expectation.”
Expectations about other people, traffic, weather—or about how we “should” be—tend to create disappointment. We prefer possibilities. We can expect our intentions (curiosity, self‑tending, pauses) and release rigid scripts. This opens room for serendipity.
EFT Tapping Round — Heavy vs. Hopeful (Disappointment, Netflix, and Trying Anyway)
Coaching frame: When hope and heaviness collide, we soothe the protector that’s guarding us from disappointment.
Side of Hand: Even though part of me feels hopeful and another part feels heavy—who am I kidding, it might never happen—that’s a protector trying to spare me disappointment, and I’m listening; what if I could make real progress this time, even if it looks different than I imagined.
Top of Head: Part of me thinks it’ll never happen.
Eyebrow: That part is protecting me from disappointment.
Side of Eye: Disappointment hurts.
Under the Eye: Sometimes I’d rather not try than feel that sting.
Under the Nose: What if I actually make some progress this time?
Chin: It might not look the way I thought.
Collarbone: I might discover amazing things about myself in the process.
Under the Arm: Powerful steps toward what I want—yes, please.
Beliefs, Failure, and Sharing Tender Things
“I redefined what failure meant.”
Beliefs like “I’m a terrible dancer” or “I’m too old” often trace back to earlier hurts. We tap to dissolve the charge and then design kinder definitions of success. Start small and selective: share art with a safe circle before going public. Let tender things grow roots.
Inner Child & Play
“Play isn’t goal‑oriented; it’s being with what’s here.”
Let your inner kid pick mini‑adventures. If childhood was tough, tap first to make contact gentle. Ask: What would feel fun for five minutes? Build from there. Play trains intuition and improvisation—vital for adventure.
EFT Tapping Round — Letting Yourself Want (and Play)
Wanting can feel dangerous if longing went unmet. We’ll unmute gentle desire.
Side of Hand: Even though I’ve been protecting myself for decades—muting my wanting to avoid devastation or making others feel bad—what if I could let myself want a little and play a little, safely and now.
Top of Head: I’ve muted my wanting.
Eyebrow: As a kid, I was often left with empty longing.
Side of Eye: So I learned not to want too much—or to show it.
Under the Eye: What if I could let myself want—just a baby step.
Under the Nose: I can follow small impulses within safe bounds.
Chin: Wanting guides play; play guides adventure.
Collarbone: I can be curious and open without pressure.
Under the Arm: Good thing I’m practicing this—right now.
Real‑Life Prep Examples (Steal What Works)
“Sometimes the wisest thing is better shoes.”
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Physical: Trail shoes with real grip; snacks and water; an emergency ladder; separate car keys; cash if that settles you.
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Emotional: Start with friend‑only posts; choose a kinder audience; pre‑rehearse in imagination.
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Relational: Go separately so you have your own exit; bring a pacing buddy; set check‑in times.
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Energetic: Read a nature quote before the zoo; set “high possibility, low expectation.”
Let your preferences be personal. Preparation is how we tell our nervous system: “I’m with you.”
Micro‑Adventures to Try
“There’s no hierarchy of adventures.”
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Wander without a plan for ten minutes; turn where you feel drawn.
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Post one sketch to a private circle.
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Speak one sentence you’ve been holding back.
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Walk a familiar path backwards (literally or figuratively).
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Sit on a bench and let your inner eight‑year‑old choose the next move.
Closing
“If there’s something that matters to you, wrap it in a bit of adventure.”
We appreciate your courage. Let what matters tug you forward. If it feels too big, tap, prepare, and make the step deliciously small. We look for two or three reasons that make us tear up a little—that’s when we know we’ve touched the core. May you find moments that feel like you… and smile at the serendipity you didn’t plan.
Also available on YouTube: https://youtu.be/rI-tz-I7u8Q
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