When we don’t feel we can say NO, it’s really hard to be open to requests from others.
It’s wonderful to please people!
It’s horrible to please people at our own expense.
It’s no fun to disappoint people.
It’s deeply depleting to disappoint ourselves by doing something we don’t want to do to avoid disappointing others.
What is something a person can ask you to do that you have a hard/impossible time saying no… because disappointing them would feel worse?
I’ve known people who avoid dating because disappointing a date by saying no to a kiss was not something they felt like they could do (or had “permission” to do).
Honestly, I don’t have employees and probably won’t because I really do not enjoy disappointing someone who does a good a solid job but is disappointed they don’t make more money.
Before I could ever hire someone again, I would need to address this. Thirty years ago I often paid people more just to keep them from being disappointed (rather than coaching them how to be even more valuable and add to their talent stack).
What’s it for you? Is there a susceptibility that keeps you from being open… because of a fear of disappointing someone… and you might sacrifice your own needs to keep that from happening?
Thanks for sharing and adding to the exploration!