Have you ever caught yourself in that moment of comparison, feeling that twinge of “I’ll never be able to do that”? I want to share how this very human experience can transform how you view these moments.
The Primitive vs. Thriving Mind
Our brain’s primitive comparison system served us well for survival. It quickly assesses: “Am I strong enough to fight? Fast enough to flee? Should I defer or keep my distance?”
This instinct still helps us navigate potentially dangerous situations — from crossing the street to avoiding toxic work environments where bosses use fear to keep us in survival mode.
But there’s a more evolved way to use comparison — one that serves our thriving rather than just our surviving.
Finding Your Unique Expression
Imagine watching someone powerfully and gracefully dunk a basketball. If you’re not tall enough to ever dunk, that comparison can sting.
But here’s the magic: What if we look deeper at what really attracts us in that moment?
When I described dunking, two words emerged: Power and Grace.
The yearning isn’t really about dunking — it’s about expressing power and grace in our own unique way.
A 5’2" gymnast might never dunk a basketball, but they can express incredible power and grace in ways a 7-foot basketball player never could.
Transforming Comparison into Inspiration
Here’s how to make comparison work for your thriving:
- Notice when a comparison feels “sticky” or emotional.
- Ask yourself: “What qualities am I really admiring here?”
- Consider: “How might I express these qualities in my own unique way?”
A Drinking Example
In my own life, I noticed how I admired certain qualities in others’ social connections. Instead of feeling bad about not being a “drinking buddy” type, I recognized my yearning for meaningful connection. This led me to cultivating “spirit buddies” – deep, authentic connections that align with who I am.
Finding Your Power and Grace… Here and Now
Even in something as simple as my morning mile, I’ve found my own expression of power and grace: using walking sticks, moving through the forest like a sure-footed animal! It’s not about being a cheetah or a mountain lion. It’s about being me, walking with my own brand of power and grace.
The Liberation
When we shift from “I can’t do that” to “How can I express these qualities in my own way?” the comparison loses its bite. It becomes guidance pointing us toward our own authentic heartistry.
Remember: Every primal instinct, including comparison, can serve our thriving when we learn to use it framed in wisdom. Your unique expression of these talents awaits!
What qualities are you admiring in others today? How might you express them in your own powerful way?
Keep Thriving… Now and Onwards!
Rick
