If it were my quote, it would be cultivating Acceptance for things outside their control. Because… there’s an overwhelming amount that is outside our control.
I do believe in energy influence. I believe that if we hold dear to us a world with emotional freedom, safety, and respect… we change the emotional world. Perhaps we change it about as much as a struggling tree does in the midst of a city’s pollution… and still, I hold that we do.
It’s in the problem solving, gotta-fix-it-or-else-we-all-die part of our brain, where to not have acceptance of the unwanted reality means way way more of our life force gets drained away in – yeah, I’ll say useless ways. Even harmful. Like the bark being stripped from the same tree killing it quicker than even the pollution would – and depriving us all of the oxygen it can product from the CO2 it consumes.
Mmm, awareness of this dynamic helps me to discern where I am wasting energy trying to control the uncontrollable (which my engineer mind says SHOULD be possible… and God Laughs )
I’m still experimenting how effective it is to ask The Boy to lower the volume rather than trying to control his volume. In general, if I am owning my own noise sensitivity and asking for consideration, as long as I am not way-out-in-Reactiveville, it does seem to be met with a bit of consideration and modulation.
Accepting what’s not is helping my attitude (even if not my noise sensitivity).
And Yes, I do have ear plugs and have some other types to try coming soon…
I just remembered that I had created a sort of ‘map of expectation’. I haven’t looked at it in quite awhile. It came out of a Tapping Circle where you had brought up the topic and there was some discussion about it. It got me thinking about and interested in exploring the structure of expectation. I know we had some discussion around my ‘map’ and you had made the suggestion that I might present it on a Tapping Circle. Mostly I like what I constructed. I’m not sure of it’s practical applications other than to perhaps make a person aware of the forms that ‘expectation’ can take and how it influences our emotions, language and behaviours. I’m still reconsidering the statement on the bottom left of the graph about attachment to people…I still can’t find a way to disagree with what I wrote but something still makes me want to re-evaluate it…
Wow! I think I just realized the struggles I am currently experiencing come from my inability to reconcile my preconceived idea of what my life would be when I moved to Hawaii and what the reality is. It is what it is and so very different from what I imagined. I need better boundaries and better clarity and strength to stand for them. But, the thing is, I hate confrontations because speaking one’s truth, in my family, always led to arguing and screaming so I always acquiesced in order to restore peace, Libra that I am! So, I need to gather my courage and belief in myself that I can indeed speak my truth about what matters to me and the boundaries I so desperately need to establish for my well being and that of my Ohana.
I read something the other day that resonated deeply with me and my ongoing effort to accept the reality of where I am in my life’s journey at this very moment. Nagware Zebian said, “Today I decided to forgive you. Not because you acknowledged the pain that you caused me, but because my soul deserves peace.” I was beginning to resent my son and his partner for not realizing the pain I was in and not asking me how I was settling into this new chapter of my life. But then, I remembered…they simply don’t have the bandwidth nor the resource to cope with anything outside their very limited world. So, I forgive them. I forgive them with love
In my life since I found EFT Tapping and it’s baseline intention towards “acceptance” is that if I start with acceptance, the change it or leave it options become much clearer and more possible.
Acceptance is courage in the face of an unwanted reality. It means we stop struggle against what is real right now. That actually frees our energy to adapt – adapting can include “giving up” but there are also 10,000 other options to influence, choose, even oppose and offer alternatives.
For a long time I don’t think I discerned the difference between struggling against reality and accepting that it is what it is and seeking to thrive anyway, and even influence the future for myself and others in the journey to come.
For me sometimes the “as it is” has many aspects that are unwanted. Still, acceptance of the unwanted reality – the as it is – combined with the intention to be calm, confident, and resourceful ANYWAY means that the acceptance doesn’t mean collapse, despair, despondency, or giving up!
“What’s wrong with me and my vibration that the Universe would give me rain today instead of sunshine?”
Yeah, the tapping I did my first year with EFT on my reactions to rain moved me to the “yup” side of acceptance. SUCH a huge improvement in energy and attitude compared to the anxiety/drain/judgment on the left side.
And sometimes ‘yup’ is only the beginning…we may have to alter our plans and behaviours as a result of the ‘unwanted thing’…but doing it with a sense of ‘yup’ is what makes the difference between just surviving the rain or Thriving with the rain.
For so long I thought it was “the reality” that hurt. Sometimes, and I’ve noticed by accepting unwanted reality that the hurt’s complexion changes so much. It’s more sadness than strain, a respect rises that I do want and intend the world to be different – even when it isn’t – that fuels me to keep going, keep adding hearty value, rather than shake fists impotently at the sky in frustration…
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