So Much… and Still, Not Feeling It
So much abundance. It’s everywhere—overflowing around me. My six-year-old car would be a magical carriage to kings and queens of old. And yet, I get in, turn the key, and don’t often Feel The Magic.
Do I let myself feel how abundant life is? Eh. That does not come by default for me.
Adapting Is Normal. Savoring Is Not.
I adapt. I’m good at it. Weather shifts 40 degrees? No problem. A new location? I’ll adjust. And that’s useful—it keeps me moving. But it also numbs me. If I only adapt, life flattens out. That’s not thriving. That’s functioning.
Thriving, I’ve come to feel, asks for something more.
Our ancestors had rituals. They didn’t just adapt… they paused to feel the blessings, to name them. That created richness—not just survival. And today? I can have food delivered to my door. Are you a king? No—just have Amazon Prime.
Still, I want more than convenience. I want connection. To the food I eat. The flowers that bloom. The people I love. I want to feel that connection in my bones.
My Engineer Brain Doesn’t Celebrate
And yet, my mind often slips into improvement mode. I see what could be better. Smoother. More efficient. Useful? Sure. Celebratory? Not so much.
So I’ve started something: at the end of each day, when I look at my to-do list, I take a breath. I ask: what were the blessings today? Not just the big ones—because we adapt to those too. A new car? A new house? We get used to it. Quickly. But the micro-blessings… those are different.
My daughter’s laugh at a silly face I made yesterday. That memory settles deeper when I notice it and write it down. That’s a micro-blessing. I want to feel more of those.
A New Practice, A Shift in Dreams
And after about 75 days of doing this nightly pause, I’m noticing something surprising: my dreams are changing. They’re weaving in those sweet, ordinary moments. They say, “Yes. Adapt. And also savor.”
The Confusion Between Privilege and Blessing
But here’s something raw. Something I’ve hesitated to share.
I’m a white man. An older one. And I’ve been in spaces where “white male privilege” is spoken as a curse. I absorbed that. My body did. And it twisted something deep inside me. Because in my system, “privileged” and “blessing” are linked.
So I started feeling that feeling blessed was wrong. Like I should shrink from it. That it was unfair, maybe even immoral.
I’ve had to tap through that.
Is it okay to feel blessed? Not above anyone—but blessed to have food. Skill. Mobility. A car that works. Is it okay?
Yes.
I Don’t Want to Shrink or Perform
Scarcity and guilt are real energies, but I don’t want them steering my experience of life. I want to choose presence. Connection. I want to know in my body: I am blessed. And I can feel that without disconnecting from those who are struggling.
I don’t want to perform gratitude out of duty. But I also don’t want to avoid it out of shame.
Practicing Our Birthright
Abundance is our birthright. Many of us are born with protections our ancestors could barely dream of—shelter, clean water, safety from predators. And if we want to truly be thriving, not just surviving, it feels essential to practice remembering that.
Because adaptation will keep us alive.
But only conscious attention to blessings—only savoring—will let us thrive.
Useful Concepts for Thriving in This Story
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Abundance
Abundance is the felt experience of more-than-enoughness, when we pause to really receive what surrounds and sustains us. -
Adapting
Adapting keeps us functional, but thriving asks us to adapt and engage with what truly nourishes us. -
Awareness
Awareness brings the blessings into view—even the ones so small they almost disappear without it. -
Allowing
Allowing lets us stay open to blessings, even when shame or guilt try to close the door. -
Thriving
Thriving means more than surviving—it’s about feeling, savoring, and aligning with life’s richness.