You're slow... Ouch!

Thriving Together
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Being in the real world really stinks…! Am I suppose I’m glad that I’m not exposed to the too nasty side of it yet. Working under my supervisor who expects things to be done puts me in a stressful situation! I would try to calm myself down, and move forward, but conversations with her, or comments like “I need you to work faster, otherwise, I’d rather do things on my own.” hurts me! :confounded: I know that there are lots of root traumas that are being triggered because I can see patterns of my supervisor being reflected just like my mum’s behaviours - where mistakes are frown upon, expecting highly of me, and pushing me to “fix” myself of my problems…

It’s hard to think straight being in that environment, but nevertheless, I’m glad that I have the tools to calm myself down better, as opposed to that of the past.

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An internship is a professional learning experience that offers meaningful, practical work related to a student’s field of study or career interest. An internship gives a student the opportunity for career exploration and development, and to learn new skills. ~UMBC

So… your supervisor sucks as a coach. She’s stuck in an unresourceful place, feeling frustrated that she is incompetent as a mentor and under the magical misconception that an intern is the same as hiring an already full-trained and skilled professional (at a much higher price, of course…)

Tap tap tap accepting the reality of her limitations. They are what they are. Wishing she was different won’t change her, and it’s okay. You have NOT reached the limit I don’t feel of what you can do here.

  1. Remember you are there to learn. They are trading off what you get paid for you having an opportunity to learn. They pay you something, but not as much as if you were already as fast as she is (or you’d be being paid what she is paid).

  2. Pause. Lots.

  3. After the pause, practice self-coaching. Coaching is predominantly about developing powerful questions!

  • Aware: She’s saying my speed is insufficient.

  • Question: Am I following the same exacts methodology and steps as someone who can do this at “full” speed? If so, I might be able to boost my focus and vitality a bit to move through the same steps more quickly. Or, am I still unskilled and learning, and what I need is clearer direction and training on the steps themselves so then I can boost the speed?

You can imagine, for example, chord changes on the guitar.

  • Do they know the finger shape and place on the fretboard? If not, that’s step one, right?
  • Can they mechanically switch from one shape to another?
  • Are they in that “I have to think about it” stage where actually SLOWING DOWN is better than speeding up?
  • Do they actually have a strumming or finger picking issue, and they lose track of their chord hand because of focusing on the other skill they are learning?

Business tasks are a lot like playing the guitar. Faster isn’t always better. There are multiple facets to both learn the basics of and then build muscle memory, mind clarity and ease, and yeah… speed. Speed is generally LAST, and a mentor who doesn’t “get that” is a poor one, indeed.

You can learn the questions and see if your supervisor is capable of “rising” into more of a mentor role.

"I really do want to learn the skills necessary to do the work both accurately and with speed. Would you be willing to provide more mentoring on how you go about this particular task? I could even record it so I can replay it and practice to get my speed up to a professional level – that is, after all, why I am interning.

Rick
P.S. I get that most corporate work is often based on PRESSURE. There’s pressure to produce more and more and more. There’s pressure to work longer, harder, be seen as the star performer, etc. Your supervisor may, in truth, be utterly a “slave” to that dynamic. She may know nothing else but to pass the pressure down to others, because that’s all she’s ever experienced. If so, and she cannot help you win at this, you can still learn a LOT to help you make better and more profitable choices in the future. I believe all work holds the seeds of growth, as long as we also feel free to upgrade (and look for those).

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There’s so much valuable insights here, Rick! Sometimes I honestly get tired to writing so much in the “magical misconception” (haha, now I’m starting to get the terms too! XD) that people wouldn’t really offer much to support, and words are just words that “does nothing” to change the situation. (Like people might say, “I feel you”, or “I hope things get better). Not that they’re bad advices! But it starts to sometimes feel disappointing that that’s what others might say and is just rather get through this alone… (esp in other social circles)

But here, you and the others break that misconception of mine. And these words always gives me things that I would reflect through the days (rather than the usual words of encouragements that people used to offer to me, to give me a fleeting sense of motivation since my subconscious was clearly not on board). So I’m immensely grateful for what you always offer :’) Anyways,that’s just me just thinking out loud.
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Yes, I feel that though she has a lot of experience and expertise as a staff worker, she doesn’t offer coaching that allows me to grow in a pace that is feels “safer” for me. And you’re probably right on that she has become a slave to that “dynamic” since higher manager she reports to, expects a lot out of her.

For this, I would say that I’m boosting my focus and vitality day by day thanks to your resources haha! I used to take the approach of just tapping on my own and trying to constantly go through the triggers bit by bit, only to realise that it’s a never ending process. And all those workshops really is starting to help ground me into the present and take baby steps to discomfort! But nevertheless, even if I boost my well being more, i am still unskilled in many areas of my job and I’m still in the process of learning them when her energy was to expect that I’d already knew to do this simply after being told how to do it.

To me, energetically, it’s impossible because that means that as you rightfully correlated to the guitar learning, jumping from simple chords to play a song immediately. It’s like telling a beginner, “here, these are the chords for the song. I’ll show them to you once” and you gotta play it well for me immediately”.

But I suppose I’m glad that she concedes that she is impatient many times. But what stings me the most is that she’ll compare myself with other interns in the past, and say how they were faster and more efficient than me, and they were of lower school grading level than me (me a university student vs them a diplomat). I hate it when I’m put in a position of comparison and thus, the reason to then live up to the “presupposed” norm. And yes, now I know, that’s a “magical misconception” :upside_down_face:

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I do believe that there’s a magical misconception that those people “above” us in the hierarchy are actually skilled at helping, coaching, supporting, or even having a clue about what’s involved with our job… much less how to get the best work from us!

Whether with love relationships or a job, I try to let people know how to get the “best from Rick.”

If you know comparisons don’t work for you, you can consider offering, "I understand your comparing me to others. I’m not finding that helpful in improving my performance. If there is something you see specifically that I’m doing inefficiently, it isn’t for lack of desire to be speedy and accurate and effective. Saying, “Try doing ___ instead of ____ and see if it works better for you.” – that would help me grow and improve, if you are willing to help me out that way.

(I’m not in love with that wording… I just know that a lot of people put in positions/roles of responsibility are NOT good mentors, and the more we know professional ways that work better for us, and we’re willing to share that, we at least give them an option to up their game. If they don’t, well, that’s on them.)

I want to own that there are tasks that I am like super-human fast at, and others where it takes me for frickin’ EVER. Scheduling is not my super power, for example.

It’s my belief that these kinds of training grounds can really help us learn Real Skills as they apply in today’s workforce, with an eye and intention toward evolving ourselves. Emotional skills are likely to be in demand in the decades to come in ways that “office skills” will not – because AI is likely to do all that! White collar work will be automated just like robots do welding these days 100x better than humans – in most cases.

Sometimes, asking “how would a computer do this?” can help improve our own speed and efficiency, too. :smile_cat:

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Haha, i don’t know about that Rick…! I feel like I’ve been hurt so many times for vocalizing my opinions(in this case, a better work environment and a better communication on my workload) because so many people simply operate based on their past experiences and their primitive brain. And in this case, it’s my superior! As you said, right distance, right depth. Telling from her energetics, I don’t think she is in the position or capacity to understand that my emotions need tendering. to her, she already in a position of overworking everyday and complaining about her stress from the department head…!

It’s just feels so unfair sometimes that because I’ve dealt with trauma and a rugged childhood past that has then led me to operate in such a trigger-filled life, and others out there all just seem to be able to get on with their work fine.

If you look at me on the outside, I just seem like a slow worker for whatever reason. But in reality, I’m overthinking every single task at hand to make sure I don’t ever screw up and make mistakes as that gives my superior a chance to reprimand me, and I just cannot handle any of that hurt anymore…

I know I need safe spaces and baby steps, lots and lots of them… but the work is always so demanding, and it’s as if emotions are seen as “roadblocks” to you being productive 🥲

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Wisdom.

It’s true I don’t try to communicate higher level concepts like co-creation and mutual support with people who are primitive brainiacs. It’s not going to work.

That said, we can within ourselves cultivate a different way. WE can use our conscious energy to become more calm, and yes more confident.

  • If you develop the skill of being able to “manage up” someone who is in distress without trying to fix them of have them be different, it can be worth $100K easy to you over your working career.

If you can notice your inner strain and learn over the coming months to pause – even for 3 seconds inside – and change the trend through grounding (feeling gravity work) and tuning yourself, that could easily be worth $250K to you over your working life.

If you can learn a skill here that entrepreneurs and others are willing to pay for, you can at some point start a “side business” that can grow into a fulltime income for you, with a global client base. That is what I started with Thriving Now, part time. Building skills to add to ones I already had.

Almost no one but me knows how fast or slow I am on any given task. While I do sessions for an hourly rate (gliding scale) everything else (!!!) I make money on is at MY pace. You might see me one day and think, dang, a snail could run laps around him! Other days you’d blink and I’d already be done.

Freedom.

I have coached anyone who will listen that when working “for” others, never orient yourself that they are “superior” or the “boss.” That is old shit. Archaic. And depleting.

See and serve them as clients – maybe stressed and disordered and as emotionally intelligent as a 3 year old, but a client who pays you in return for your skills applied to THEIR problems.

As you do that, be on the lookout (and leave if you need to) for how YOU are adding to YOUR skill stack. It makes no sense to do work that doesn’t build on our skill stack, honestly.

We’re really lucky in that our skills are not just technical, marketing, whatever. They are also emotional. In the decades to come as computers and AI take over many of these “tasks” I believe those in the most demand will be those who are really FUN and easy to co-create with. That means those who have depth in the Real Skills we’re teaching here – and applying in real world situations like the one you are in.

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Wow, this is helpful Rick. I’ve been so pre-occupied by all the energies that work is bringing me that I have no excess for other things​:confounded::dizzy_face: but now I could finally breathe a little bit more…!

Great way to put it in terms of real skills being worth so much more…! I find that even though I may have this perspective of my inner value of the skill that I learn, the world doesn’t, and somehow as the force of the world is greater than mine, I get easily swept away by the world‘a energies, which is that the value lies in the work, not anything else.

And yes! The idea of reframing “boss”, “superior” into clients in distress! I sure am adding so much emotional strength as I’m here, and it really does give me more drive to keep up with tapping since I get triggered everyday​:dizzy_face:!

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I feel in my core that humanity is in the midst of a massive transformation. If one reads about abundance and AI and even money, there’s an obviousness to what will be archaic “someday.”

I believe that one thing that will become archaic – especially for the creatives – is the idea of “boss.” Or even of “superior.”

Much of what even professions like lawyers do an AI will do better. Soon. In some cases already.

While I don’t “know for sure” how this will play out, I do absolutely expect a lot of wailing and gnashing of teeth amongst those unprepared with the Real Skills of emotional self-management, of awareness, acceptance, and adaptation.

If an artificial intelligence can become the world’s grandmaster at Chess, Go, and other complex games, you think they will not be doing most “jobs” in the future? They will be better at driving. They will be far faster at loading, unloading, and delivering. They will be farmers and harvesters and so much more!

What then?

Getting to know how humans stress – and unstress – has real value. Getting to see how to be of service, what makes life better and what makes is suck… has real value. We can start with things that, no, cannot be automated yet. And feel into ourselves for the thriving lifestyle we most want to live, as certain things fall away as “work” and other things rise as “joys” and “art” and “heartistry.”

Humans build tools. But we also “inherited” from our primate ancestors concepts like boss and lord and superior. Our religions are hierarchical (although I also see/feel the co-creativeness as well if you look more esoterically). Our ownership structures, our governance, our “health” care… all hierarchical.

That will change. Or at least, that is where I am putting my energy.

I am not above (or below) my clients and circle. I have roles I choose to take on, be in, put my energy in for awhile. Some I make money doing. Many I make no money doing, even though they have for me and the community a lot of intangible value.

Yes, we’re running from hierarchy. It’s a sweet fleeing.
Yes, we’re running towards orientations that will feel much more free in our core, and true to our essential potentials.

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Really interesting thoughts Rick…stuff I’m not typically oriented toward considering but the world you describe is not in some distant sci-fi future…it is here…and so these are questions and decisions that we must consider. Thanks.

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Coincidentally I came across this short film on AI on a guitar forum shortly after reading your post here on AI…the film is a fiction (fact-ion?) with a dire warning at the end from an actual AI scientist with 30 years in the biz.

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Agreed! So much insights. Thanks Rick!:pray:t2::pray:t2::pray:t2: A lot to ponder and reflect upon as we see life unfold from the digitalised era of automation

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