Weird is the New Wonderful - Session Replay
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We covered…
The Power of Permission: Weird as a Doorway to Belonging
- Weirdness, when embraced, becomes not isolation but invitation—an offering of authenticity that calls in resonance.
- We often begin by trying to appear normal, compressing and editing ourselves into invisibility (to fit in). But aliveness doesn’t thrive in performance.
- When we stop apologizing for the way we’re wired, we start finding our kin—the ones who meet us not with suspicion, but with curiosity.
- Feeling like we don’t belong is not proof that we’re broken. It’s often evidence that we’re early, or wondrously divergent, or both.
- Real safety comes not from fitting in, but from finding connection in our full expression—even the strange, shimmering, sidelong parts.
The Primitive Brain Isn’t the Boss Anymore
- Our ancient wiring still whispers: “Stay in the tribe or get eaten.” That’s why standing out feels like danger… even when it’s not.
- Weirdness once meant risk. Now, in a world with more abundance and fewer requirements for survival conformity, it can mean heartistry, kinship, and joy.
- Healing comes when we offer compassion to the parts of us that tried to keep us safe by shrinking. They were doing their best.
- The body remembers ridicule. That fifth-grade moment. That classroom laugh. But the body also heals in safe connection with community, with breath and visibility.
Weird as a Form of Grace
- To be weird is to be creative, curious, sensitive—sometimes an early adopter, sometimes a quiet trailblazer (or rebel).
- Weird is not just “not normal.” It is the refusal to copy-paste someone else’s life.
- We don’t owe anyone our conformity. We owe ourselves our congruence.
- There is medicine in weirdness. Someone’s public dancing, their free hugs, their goose-cuddling cow memes—they soften the edges of the world.
- Weirdness adds color to the beige. And sometimes, that color is exactly what someone else didn’t know they needed.
The Gift of Being Seen (and Misunderstood)
- Some won’t get us. That doesn’t mean we’re wrong. It just means we’re not for everyone—and that’s liberation, not failure.
- Fitting in is different from feeling connected. Connection doesn’t require sameness; it ask for our openness.
- We are not meant to be identical. We’re meant to be in honest relationship—sometimes messy, sometimes magical.
- Judgment often comes from others’ fear. Their recoil says more about their shame-avoidance than our worth.
- And when someone walks toward our weird instead of away from it? That is sacred. That is kinship.
The Weird Within: From Recoil to Curiosity
- The parts we reject in others may be echoes of what we’ve long silenced in ourselves.
- “That’s too weird” might actually mean “That touches something I’ve hidden.”
- Curiosity is the antidote to judgment. When we ask, “Is there something in this for me?”, clarity is given a chance.
- Being around others who express freely makes room for our own expressions to bloom.
Honoring Our Sensitive Systems
- Sensitivity isn’t weakness—it’s signal intelligence.
- Hyper-awareness, born from unsafe homes, can become superpowers when we repurpose it toward thriving.
- When no one “gets” our weird, the pain isn’t just rejection—it’s disconnection from a shared language, a longing for witness.
- But we are not alone. Even the oddest strands of us are threads in someone else’s tapestry.
Healing in the We-Space
- Shame loosens its grip when shared aloud. Speaking the weird, the painful, the true—this is how trauma moves through.
- We can co-create we-spaces where each of us fits, even the parts we once tried to exile.
- Emotional freedom is not the absence of judgment, but the presence of enough self-trust to keep showing up.
- Weird is a trailhead. And when we dare to follow it, we find not only ourselves—but each other.
Resources Mentioned
Click for Computer Generated Transcript
Weird is the New Wonderful
[00:00:00] Rick: Weird is the New Wonderful. And this is a real skills workshop because yeah, things are changing and one of the most exciting things for me, having been weird all my life, is that there are, there are tools and places and ways more and more and more for us to express ourselves, to be able to co-create together, and co-create with, with community of people that more and more are able to be themselves, be authentic, be their weird self.
[00:00:40] My name is Rick from Thriving. Now I’m here from with Cathy Vartuli from Thriving Now and The Intimacy Dojo. And, uh, Cathy, were you born weird too?
[00:00:50] Cathy: I really was, I, uh, didn’t ever feel like I fit in. And it was very hard because I was smarter than other kids. I wanted to hang out with the adults. I didn’t know how to really, I didn’t understand their games.
[00:01:02] And I think all through high school, I was in the eighties where people were very much about conforming and fitting in and perfectionism, and don’t ever show anybody sweat. You got it, you got it all handled. But I really, I, my dream at that point was to appear normal, to fit in and to be like everybody else.
[00:01:19] And I felt like I was constantly compressing myself and editing myself and inhibiting myself to, to just fit in and seem like I was okay. But I also had no self-esteem 'cause I was like hiding so much and I felt like they’re just liking this pretend version if they, if they hang out with me. So it was very awkward because it’s really hard to pretend all the time and try to figure out what people want when it’s not authentic.
[00:01:42] There was no flow to who I was. Um mm-hmm. And so I think it was really when I started, um, doing, tapping that I started developing more self-acceptance and then kind of allowing gradually over time to be a little more weird, a little outside of what people wanted. But it was, it was a scary process for me to finally like, oh, what if I show this?
[00:02:02] Are people gonna run away or put pick on me like they did in junior high or high school?
[00:02:11] Rick: We talked about, uh, before, um, the workshop started about conforming and non-conforming. Mm-hmm. And you and I. Part of what we include in our picture of the real skill is, Hey, we all have primitive brains. And as those primitive brains develop, guess what? There’s a period of time where, um, people are sorting themselves out.
[00:02:41] Yeah. And status and identical ness. Um, that’s when people start the process of trying to fit in often happens as puberty and those chemicals start kicking in because those are powerful. Those are powerful influences. And to stand out is one of those things that if I look at how many times I’ve tapped on trying to stay invisible or not standing out, not, not, uh, fitting in, these are big deals in our energy.
[00:03:20] Mm-hmm. Part of what we do in these workshops is to, uh, normalize that, hey, that is something that humans have in common. We have primitive brains, but the spectrum of us is beyond that part of us. Mm-hmm. The, the lizard brain, the monkey mind. There’s, there’s a diversity of expression that is colorful, it’s dynamic, it’s creative, and you know, some people are born with enough of a rebel in them, not me.
[00:03:58] Uh, but you’ll notice I’m doing this weird thing. I’m tapping if you’re joining because you like the title and you’re wondering what we’re doing, uh, EFT tapping is a weird action to try to what? Calm the body, um, regulate our energy, even to look at the body as an energy system and not just bones and blood and skin.
[00:04:22] That’s weird. Most people in the normal distribution, if you look at them, especially 20, 28 years ago when I, when I started this, um, you ask them, uh, started talking to them about the body as an energy field. They’d be like, what? You’re weird. Yeah. Right. Uh, in college I had people I remember very distinctly, a very pretty classmate.
[00:04:57] Walking by the door, looking into my room, seeing my personal computer that I was so proud of. Mm-hmm. Looking me in the face and saying, you’re weird
[00:05:11] Cathy: because people didn’t, they didn’t have personal computers back then. It wasn’t a thing.
[00:05:16] Rick: Yeah, it wasn’t a thing. It was, uh, yeah, 19, uh, 80. Um, and yet I was that kind of weird.
[00:05:27] Um, so part of what we do with tapping is we stimulate these acupoints, which if you grew up with Chinese medicine, you accupoints and acupuncture, they’re not weird. They’re sort of what? People in your culture Did. But for our culture, starting to tap in the nineties and early two thousands, that was super weird.
[00:05:54] But you’ll notice if you followed tapping for a period of time, you’ll notice that it’s gotten broader and deeper. And so whatever your weirdness is, as you start expressing it, being comfortable with it, um, letting go of the, the resistance to being yourself, all kinds of things can flower from that. Uh, for me, it was a new career.
[00:06:20] Um, it’s, it was, um, getting to be deep and engaged with people in ways that I felt really empowered. Tapping really brought that, but it was being willing to do something weird like that, that freed that up. I
[00:06:37] Cathy: think I just wanna add too about the primitive brain. 'cause I think that sometimes when we don’t really gr or get what, um, where stuff is coming from, it’s like, oh, why am I so scared of being, uh, weird?
[00:06:50] But if you think about a survival situation, there’s not really a lot of room to play or act outside of what other people are doing. So if you’re in tribal times, like, you know, small communities, you’re out hunting, if we don’t get this bison, we’re going to starve to death this winter. And Rick decides this is a good time to sing, stand up, sing and dance, and then the bison runs away.
[00:07:11] It’s not an appropriate weird time. Um, and you know, like, so there was a lot more, I imagine there’s more like life and death do not be weird kind of thing. Versus now if, you know, he’s getting gas or grocery shopping and he, you know, sings and dances, people will be like. That’s strange. Most people don’t do that, but the bison is not running away.
[00:07:30] But our brains are geared to like protect ourselves and it’s really hard to let go of that. If I don’t conform, I’m going to, you know, I’m be kicked out of the tribe or I won’t have support. The hyenas, hyenas will get me. So I think we live in different times now where there’s more room and abundance to be weird most of the time.
[00:07:47] Rick: Yeah. If, if we didn’t live in a time that had more room and spaciousness, we would be not talking about thriving. These wouldn’t be, you know, real skills for thriving. They would be like, look, we need to get our survival skills really honed here. Um.
[00:08:08] Cathy: Did he freeze? Read Rick? He looks like he froze. He’s frozen. Okay. He’s frozen to everybody. Okay. So while he’s unfreezing, hopefully he’ll unfreeze. You know, either that or he is just being really weird and just standing still. Um, if you want to share in the chat, like, what is weird to you? Like what, what’s your definition of weird?
[00:08:27] Is it, you know, it’s not the same for me. It’s like, it’s kind of like, not the same as everybody, but maybe you have a different definition of weird and we wanna incorporate that. Um, how do you view weird? Um, because that can help us understand like how to gear this. And Rick is back in unfrozen.
[00:08:45] Rick: Yeah.
[00:08:46] There we go. Okay.
[00:08:49] Cathy: I was asking them to share a weird, what weird meant for them while we were waiting for you to phrase. Okay.
[00:08:58] So, and if you’re, if you don’t have a different definition, that’s fine. You can just say same or whatever, but, um. Creativity. Someone shared weird to me as creativity. I agree. It’s sometimes like being generating versus like copying and pasting everything. Um, not like other people. Um, unique, authentic, I agree with the authentic part very much.
[00:09:21] Um, uh, weird. Maybe highly sensitive. Those are all like if you have others, please share. But I think those are just different perspectives into the same thing where we’re just, we’re not copy and pasting. We’re not doing, like my mother very, very much, I think probably till this day wants me to be married and have kids and like she really wanted me to drop outta my master’s program and get married.
[00:09:44] Um, 'cause she thought I wouldn’t get married if I didn’t, if I got my degrees, which happened. But, um. So I’m just reading the comments. Um, she wanted me to copy and paste her life in some ways that, you know, that focus on family and kids. It’s not how I wanted to express my life. So there was a lot of gravitational pull and pressure to not con, you know, to conform.
[00:10:08] And as I was stepping out, there was a lot of judgment and lectures and you’ll never be happy, you know, like, why are you doing this? No one ever asked my sister who got married and had kids, which is fine, it’s her choice. But everyone was like, of course this is what you should do. There was like approval and like support, and no one ever said, did you ever really think about if this is right for your life?
[00:10:28] Like, where are you gonna be when you’re 90 and there’s no kids to take care of you or whatever. Like, they didn’t question that. So it was, um, I felt like I had to kind of fight my own way, fight my own path, and clear, clear my own path. And it kind of helped that I had an aunt that had done that. So there was like a little bit of a clearing path, but I had to really fight.
[00:10:48] You know, to broaden that. Um, so I think it’s like weird is kind of like going on your own path and not copying and not staying in the highway where everybody else is. And sometimes you have to carve a long ways until you find other people that have created the same path and you can connect with them.
[00:11:06] Uh, someone said different, um, but I like weird, someone else said strange, weird suggests to me not only different, but also without useful or positive benefit to the point, to the point of moving in negative direction. And I do think that’s like the people that are in the conformal area will often view it that way.
[00:11:25] And sometimes we can take on that view, but it’s not always true. I’m very happy that I made a different choice in my life. Um,
[00:11:34] Rick: just to amplify what you said. Mm-hmm. If there’s a group that values a norm, a norm, not necessarily the norm, but there’s a norm within that group, anyone outside of it will be viewed as being suspect, potentially a threat, not necessarily useful.
[00:11:59] Mm-hmm. Okay.
[00:12:03] How about, is there anyone who’s weird that adds value to your life in the last year? Somebody that when you see what they do, when you hear them, something about how they think, um, it’s like, I’m glad that person is weird. There’s a, there’s a, there’s such an eccentrically beautiful being here in Asheville, um, has a booth.
[00:12:39] She is, the Booth Fairy gives you an idea. Okay. The Booth Fairy. And she has a booth. She’ll have free hugs, free shitty advice.
[00:12:56] Okay. And it’s, and she’ll collect a group of people to do what? Pick up trash, not their trash, but she’ll pick up trash. Mm-hmm. And they’ll all be high fiving each other and celebrating. And it becomes like such a cool group activity. And she brings music and while she, she’s got a tutu on and she’ll put up signs that say, love wins.
[00:13:28] And the city will take 'em down and she’ll put a Right. Um, yeah. It’s, it’s beautiful to me. And, and there’s a person that signs off of social media with a picture of a cow, white cow in a bed, often with different quilts, sometimes snuggled up with a goose, right? They’re in a different time zone, like only somewhere else in the world.
[00:14:01] And every time they, they’re saying goodnight, this is a post that they, a different, a different AI created art. Now that’s weird, but there’s something in me that just like, oh, this is, this is sweet for me. Yeah. And when part of the loop of the real skill is if the world was vanilla, beige, would you be happy?
[00:14:28] Or is it some of the outliers that are, um, beings? That give you a measure of, of joy or intrigue. And when you do that and you bring it then full circle, like I wonder if there’s anything that is just outside of typical that, um, I’m also either contributing or holding back on. And that’s part of the, if you’re, if you’re holding back, uh, welcome to the club and uh, we’ve got tools and skills that can help, you know, um, and be more in your, your authentic expression.
[00:15:18] Cathy: Yeah. I just wanna read a few and more of the comments 'cause I love that they’re sharing. Um, someone said, Rick, you just described my infantile childhood. You asked about. Who is that you got value from? That is weird. And someone said, you, Rick, someone else said, my friend I had coffee with today.
[00:15:34] Transgender pagan fairy. But we have lovely, lovely conversation and hugs. Um, someone else shared. I loved it. I love that. Um, someone else said, I was gonna say Rick too, and it does sound like stress relief. They were talking about when you were talking about the trash pickup. Um, and everyone high fiving someone else says like, say hi to everyone passing me.
[00:15:54] Um, I didn’t wanna move to Ann Arbor because all the houses were beige. And someone else said, I get joy from both vanilla, beige and creative types, not creatives. So choose to be wacko in their difference. Difference. Um, I think we’re gonna talk more about like your particular type of weird and what kind of people you wanna hang out with later.
[00:16:12] Um, and we wanna talk about embracing weirdness. But we also wanna first clear out some, clear some space. 'cause I think a lot of us have old shames and old like traumas. Like I remember trying to dance, they were teaching us belly dancing. I think I was in fifth grade. And the teacher called me up to the front of the room and there were like, you know, the 25 kids in the, in the fifth grade.
[00:16:36] And I was dancing with her and moving my hip side to side the way she did. And I was like, huh, I wanna be creative. So I tried to move my hips forward and back and I guess it looks suggestive or something. And the whole class laughed at me and I was just like, mortified. Like I just, you know, like I still, I still to this day remember how embarrassed I was and like, oh, how can I do this?
[00:16:57] Why didn’t I realize that this would be laughable? Um, when I was just trying to explore. Um, so I think if we can do some tapping on some of that, um, do we wanna have people share some of the, the, their senses of, uh, shame or experiences?
[00:17:13] Rick: Yeah. Feel free to do that.
[00:17:17] If, uh, I, I do want to say that if, if weird simply repre for me, uh, someone said weird is, is not the same as different. Um,
[00:17:43] when I feel into the word as I’ve used it, oh, they’re different from me. Mm-hmm. That’s an energy of kind of like, yeah. They’re different. Weird. There’s a, oh,
[00:17:57] Cathy: quirky
[00:17:59] Rick: to, there’s, for me, it activates a curiosity. Now that’s different from weird. Weird as repulsion and, uh, I. If you’re, if, if somebody is repulsed by anything and made extremely uncomfortable by anyone that’s not, um, following the rules, um, the rules of how it’s supposed to be.
[00:18:31] Like, if that’s like we, we are supposed to behave this way. We’re supposed to do it this way, we’re supposed to dress this way. Um, if, if somebody’s in that narrow band, that kind of, um, trauma induced narrowness, I, I’m not, uh, I am assuming that for people that are here, um, that’s not where you are. If that’s where you are, the work is a little different.
[00:18:56] Um, what we’re doing is for those of us that self-select as, Hey, I’ve got some things that I’d like to express. Some people I would love if they go, Ooh, isn’t that interesting? And be okay with some people going like, well, that’s not my cup of weird, right? Like, that’s not my thing. Um, yeah. And um, then there’s, you know, like someone said, you can have conditions.
[00:19:29] One of the stories I was thinking about is, um, there was a man who was in a plane crash and was burned. Mm-hmm. Um, and if I’m recalling the conversation, um, he said it’s true that the first reaction some many people have is repulsion. But one of the interesting things is because I look so weird,
[00:19:59] the people that actually go, huh? Whether they’re curious what happened to me or they’re curious how it’s possible for me to have this kind of weird, warped happy, authentically happy, deformed smile still, right? That the people that move closer to me in that way end up being like the people, my kin, I call it that he didn’t use that term, but that’s, they’re people that are curious enough, openness enough to, um, to approach that rather than bounce off of things.
[00:20:40] And again, we are about emotional freedom. There’s so much weird in the world that we get to pick. Like I go to the ice cream store, I don’t actually pick the kale ice cream.
[00:20:59] Some people go, Ooh, I love kale. Never had kale ice cream. You see that kale ice cream is weird, right? Like that’s a weird flavor. If you told me as a kid, kale, ice cream, ew. Might as well do squash ice cream, blah, Brussels sprout, ice cream, blah. That’s weird. Like we’re, we’re embracing the, the idea that weird is, um, there’s something deeper in our unique, weird, in our authentic weirdness, the things that don’t fit the normal spectrum.
[00:21:35] And we can be weird in one area and pretty, you know, normal in how we brush our teeth and how we dress or whatever. Um, but, you know, maybe we have an activity that’s really ours that people go like, what? That’s so weird that you do that. Um, yeah. Okay. Okay. You wanna do some, some tap tapping? Tapping, yeah.
[00:21:58] Cathy: And I appreciate the people that will try to weave some of this in with the tapping, um, and just catching up on them. And I appreciate you sharing. So I just wanna just normal, like kind of give you feedback on this. When you type this out and share with other people, you’re getting out of your system and out in the world.
[00:22:16] Our bodies heal traumas faster when we’re not alone with them. So this is not pressure if you’re not ready to share something, but if it feels okay to share in this chat, I encourage you to do so because it’s a little bit of effort, but it gets your body from just spinning the, the, the repeat cycle on the trauma and it’s like, oh, other people are seeing this.
[00:22:35] It somehow opens us up a little bit to it and it can help us release faster and better. Um, you don’t have to give any private details you don’t want to share, but just the act of sharing is really a big part of healing. That’s one reason Rick does these groups calls. So I invite you to take a nice deep breath.
[00:22:55] And allow yourself to be as present with that old shame trauma around weird pick one. Just let yourself be present with it as much as feels com like you can tolerate. And just notice your body sensations to it. Like I still remember being beat red and a little sweaty and my heart was racing and I couldn’t, my palms were sweaty.
[00:23:12] I couldn’t wait to get back to my seat and hope that everyone would forget about it. So just if you can be with that for a minute and just breathe with it, it helps your body tune in and again, it will help release some of this. It, it wants oxygen. Old traumas want oxygen and experience like re mild re-experiencing so they can kind of move through Karate chop, even though I still remember that time.
[00:23:37] Rick: Even though I still remember that time, my body definitely does.
[00:23:42] Cathy: I can feel all those body reactions.
[00:23:44] Rick: I can feel all those body reactions
[00:23:47] Cathy: and how they responded
[00:23:49] Rick: and how they responded.
[00:23:51] Cathy: It was so uncomfortable.
[00:23:55] Rick: It was so uncomfortable.
[00:23:57] Cathy: I felt like I was wrong.
[00:24:00] Rick: I felt like I was wrong.
[00:24:02] Cathy: I felt unsafe.
[00:24:04] Rick: I felt unsafe.
[00:24:05] Cathy: I felt so judged.
[00:24:07] Rick: I felt so judged.
[00:24:09] Cathy: And I am here right now.
[00:24:12] Rick: Oh, and I am here right now.
[00:24:17] Cathy: And I’m actually pretty safe.
[00:24:20] Rick: And I’m actually pretty safe.
[00:24:22] Cathy: Top of that. I remember that experience.
[00:24:24] Rick: I do remember that experience.
[00:24:27] Cathy: I, bro, it just haunted me for many years.
[00:24:30] Rick: It haunted me for many years
[00:24:32] Cathy: side of the eye.
[00:24:33] Their reaction was really hard to take.
[00:24:36] Rick: Their reaction was really hard to take
[00:24:39] Cathy: under the eye, and my primitive brain was so worried.
[00:24:43] Rick: My primitive brain was so worried
[00:24:46] Cathy: under the nose. I send love and compassion to my primitive brain.
[00:24:50] Rick: I send love and compassion to my primitive brain.
[00:24:54] Cathy: Shannon. It was doing the best.
[00:24:55] It knew how to keep me safe.
[00:24:57] Rick: It was really doing the best at knew how to keep me safe,
[00:25:00] Cathy: collarbone. And I send my younger self-compassion too.
[00:25:05] Rick: And I send my younger self-compassion too,
[00:25:09] Cathy: under there. I was just exploring who I was.
[00:25:12] Rick: I was just exploring who I was,
[00:25:14] Cathy: top of the head, and maybe it didn’t go so well
[00:25:17] Rick: and maybe it didn’t go so well.
[00:25:19] Cathy: I wrote, maybe I stumbled and fell at the school dance.
[00:25:22] Rick: Maybe I stumbled and fell at the school dance
[00:25:25] Cathy: side of the eye. Maybe my parents really ridiculed me.
[00:25:29] Rick: Maybe my parents really ridiculed me
[00:25:32] Cathy: under. Maybe I didn’t handle it the way other people handled it.
[00:25:35] Rick: Maybe I didn’t handle it the way other people handled it
[00:25:38] Cathy: under the nose.
[00:25:39] I might be more sensitive than them.
[00:25:42] Rick: I might be more sensitive to them than
[00:25:45] Cathy: that. Jen, what if I can forgive myself for being different?
[00:25:49] Rick: What if I can forgive myself for being different
[00:25:53] Cathy: color bone and maybe congratulate myself on exploring in some way different than they did,
[00:26:00] Rick: and maybe even congratulate my myself for exploring in ways that are different than they did
[00:26:07] Cathy: there.
[00:26:07] I might be more creative in that moment.
[00:26:10] Rick: I may. I might be more creative in general. Okay.
[00:26:14] Cathy: Top of the head, and that can be kinda special
[00:26:17] Rick: and that could be special.
[00:26:19] Cathy: And just take a breath and just notice what comes up for you. It’s, there’s a lot that can come up around this, and it doesn’t mean you have to be all clear on this, but just notice like what thoughts you have.
[00:26:33] Those are great to jot down and do some more tapping down or share here so we can incorporate it as we go.
[00:26:40] Rick: Yeah, as soon as you said special, um, that activated a memory.
[00:26:45] Cathy: Yeah.
[00:26:46] Rick: Um, and one of the ways that, that Cathy and I tap is we touch on many different things. Things that we’ve read in the chat, things that we’ve seen and experienced ourselves and with many clients too.
[00:27:02] And so if some aspect of this stands out, it is often useful, like the word special. Um.
[00:27:24] I believe that one of the things that energy work and emotional freedom work can do is reclaim the energy of something like weird. I have used the word weird judgmentally to push people away more than I’ve used it to embrace and bring people closer. Um, I don’t know whether weird is going to last with me, but what I can tell you right now is this, my boy, my heart adopted boy, a term that, you know, I use that’s weird, like heart adopted.
[00:28:04] He’s your stepson. Well, no, uh, he’s my heart adopted boy. Um, his contact is his name. Weirdo. Yep. And talk about truth in advertising.
[00:28:25] I have never met another human like this. Um, and when he put that in there, I kept changing his contact name back to eliminate it. And then I started tapping on it. I was like, you know, he is weird. And honestly, if I, if I stripped away his weird man, my life would be not better, not better. There’s no, it would not be better to strip away his weird.
[00:29:01] And so I am, one of the reasons we do this is like, it’s right up front and personal in our home. And I saw a meme. And it said, sorry for being weird. I am weird. It will happen again. And I sent that to him as part of this journey that we’re on, and he loved it. And it’s become a meme that works for us. And I’m starting to use it for myself, right?
[00:29:42] Like I cannot handle the sound of si people, humans making siren sounds inside my house.
[00:29:48] Cathy: He loves weirdo, he loves making serious siren sounds,
[00:29:51] Rick: loves, you know, Hey, sorry for being weird about the siren sounds. They need to stop. I am weird. It will happen again. Um, when, when we’re upfront with something and then you look in the mirror and you’re like, oh, I.
[00:30:13] I really wanna do this. It’s been kind of tapping me on the heart and shoulder to do, to do something, to not hold back so much. To be able to say how much, like, it’s weird today to, not in all circles, but in a lot of circles, to say something like, ire, I appreciate you. Um, I realized I was holding that back, but it’s really authentic even though it’s somewhat weird.
[00:30:49] And I use that as replies in social media. I really, I this, I’ll, I’ll quote something and I’ll say something like, appreciate you for bringing that into my world today. Oh. I’ve gotten private messages from people that are like. Thank you. That’s all I needed. That’s all I need to know every once in a while, is that there’s somebody that this makes a difference to because I’m, I’m weird that way too.
[00:31:19] I don’t need a million fans. But occasionally hearing from someone I, you know, I laughed at that until I could barely breathe. Um,
[00:31:33] yeah. And Go ahead, Cathy.
[00:31:36] Cathy: Oh, I was just gonna say like, I think sometimes being weird is just early adopters as well. Like you were into computers before anyone was in computers. You got into ai and I was in Bitcoin. I was like, huh, I’m suspicious about that. That’s a little weird. But now, like we just had a beautiful call and I’m teaching a big class next weekend about AI because you got like, you kind of opened that doorway and I probably would’ve been many months behind if I hadn’t.
[00:31:59] You kind of started talking. I was like, I think that’s weird, but I trust this guy. I love him. Let’s listen a little bit. So I think that sometimes people being weird can help us. Explore things we wouldn’t explore or feel safe expressing ourselves in a way, like a little different like way than we would, you know, like if I’m the only one feeling weird, I’m gonna be kind of trying, you know, feel social pressure to kind of be more quiet.
[00:32:24] But if there’s several of us being weird in different ways, it’s kinda like, oh, this is kind of safe here. 'cause we’re all a little bit weird. And I think it does, someone talked about they wanted to be more expressive and get rid of self-judgment. You can do some tapping on that.
[00:32:37] Rick: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Even though some people really needed me to conform,
[00:32:43] Cathy: even though some people really needed me to conform, and
[00:32:46] Rick: there’s a bunch of people that don’t like the way I don’t conform.
[00:32:50] Cathy: There’s a bunch of people that don’t like how I don’t conform.
[00:32:52] Rick: They’re not really my kin.
[00:32:54] Cathy: They’re
[00:32:54] Rick: not really
[00:32:55] Cathy: my kin.
[00:32:56] Rick: And it’s okay.
[00:32:57] Cathy: And it’s okay.
[00:32:59] Rick: It’s not important that I fit in with everyone.
[00:33:02] Cathy: It’s not important that I fit in with everyone
[00:33:05] Rick: and in every way
[00:33:07] Cathy: and in every way.
[00:33:09] Rick: Top of the head. I don’t have to fit in with them.
[00:33:12] Cathy: I do not have to fit in with them.
[00:33:15] Rick: Part of me, weirdly, doesn’t want to fit in with
[00:33:17] Cathy: them. Part of them, part of me weirdly, doesn’t wanna fit in
[00:33:21] Rick: side of the eye. And no one else is identical to me
[00:33:25] Cathy: and no one else is identical to me
[00:33:27] Rick: under the eye. Thank goodness.
[00:33:29] Cathy: Thank goodness
[00:33:31] Rick: under the nose. But I thought I was supposed to fit in,
[00:33:34] Cathy: but I thought I was supposed to fit in
[00:33:37] Rick: Chen.
[00:33:40] I thought I was supposed to fit in.
[00:33:42] Cathy: I thought I was supposed to fit in
[00:33:44] Rick: collarbone. What if I’m to be connected with
[00:33:49] Cathy: what if I’m to be connected with
[00:33:52] Rick: Connected is different than fitting in.
[00:33:54] Cathy: Connected is very different than fitting in.
[00:33:57] Rick: And a part of me does feel connected. A
[00:34:00] Cathy: part of me does feel connected.
[00:34:03] Rick: Hmm. Weirdly. So sometimes
[00:34:06] Cathy: weirdly, so sometimes love that.
[00:34:11] Rick: Well, it was never talked about being, you know, super sensitive. Not super sensitive. If you grew up in an unsafe environment, being super sensitive is a survival mechanism. You turn up the volume, you really can be able to sense. Um, I’ve worked with clients that knew their father’s mood from the moment he left the office in an age where there wasn’t cell phones or texts or anything like that.
[00:34:37] And they were accurate 99% of the time. Mm-hmm. And this is for a, a man that was very variable. What would you call that? Something that’s weird. That’s, that’s weirdly perceptive breaking what we know about. Physics from the textbooks that they crammed down our throats in, in school. You start to embrace, you know, I do get inklings of things that are right for me to know.
[00:35:10] And if I can feel sometimes threats or other things, what else might I use that same sensors array for? Like, is there something beautiful happening? Ooh, I can feel it. I can feel, um, oh, somebody’s playing with their dog and laughing. I can feel it. I, I can feel that right now. I can feel somebody pretty close in that direction is playing with their dog and laughing.
[00:35:44] Now I’m not trying to prove it. You could just say, oh, is so weird. I need to, if you need to leave, thank you for taking care of yourself. Um. But the super sensors that I had around, uh, you know, my father’s alcoholism, they, if I allow those to be weirdly accepted and weirdly expressed and attuned to things, well now I can use 'em for my thriving, not just my surviving.
[00:36:14] They’re still there for my survival as well. Um,
[00:36:19] Cathy: but I think when we’re brought up in a family that doesn’t get us, like if you’re sensitive and no one else is sensitive, I was really geeky smart and a family where women were not, girls were not expected to be that. And I just felt like I was speaking a different language.
[00:36:32] And I think that can add to the shame or feeling to just, they’re not giving us words. They’re not sharing common experiences. There’s not that understanding or connection. And that can add to the like feeling of like this reality or like uncomfortableness around whatever it is.
[00:36:47] Rick: Yeah. Sometimes there’s just reality.
[00:36:50] Let’s tap, sometimes there’s. Confusion.
[00:36:55] Cathy: Sometimes there’s confusion
[00:36:57] Rick: eyebrow when nobody gets my weird,
[00:37:00] Cathy: when no one gets my weird
[00:37:02] Rick: side of the eye, when it feels like I’m the only one.
[00:37:05] Cathy: When it feels like I’m the only one
[00:37:08] Rick: under the eye that’s super uncomfortable,
[00:37:10] Cathy: super uncomfortable,
[00:37:12] Rick: I permit primitive brain does not like being the only one.
[00:37:16] Cathy: My primitive brain does not like being the only one
[00:37:18] Rick: that triggers that outcast reaction.
[00:37:21] Cathy: It triggers an outcast reaction
[00:37:23] Rick: and that that sucks.
[00:37:26] Cathy: That sucks
[00:37:29] Rick: under the arm. But what if I can feel connection to others who ha who share this?
[00:37:36] Cathy: What if I can feel connection to others who share this?
[00:37:39] Rick: Am I really the only weirdo around this subject?
[00:37:43] Am I,
[00:37:44] Cathy: am I really the only weirdo around this subject,
[00:37:47] Rick: or am I connected to others who share that? Gift
[00:37:53] Cathy: or am I connected to others that share that gift?
[00:37:59] Rick: Yeah. Like someone said, I dumbed myself down, um, in, uh, in high school, uh, especially around, around boys. And again, like the norm was, um, was that right? Like, yeah. And there are still men and women doing that dance decades later, learning it fresh. You know, they, they still are learning that particular dance.
[00:38:30] Now, if, if they have a chance to hear this Cathy person, Dr. Cathy, she doesn’t even talk about that very much. And, you know, and, and this person just loves seeing, uh. Beyond what the eye can see, and they get to know that Cathy also loves to see beyond the eye, can see, you know, like two atoms hugging on a certain door.
[00:38:59] Right. You know, and then one looks a little uncomfortable, like their arm is gonna go to sleep. Okay. This is me interpreting what PhD physics, right? It’s like, oh, that one’s arm’s gonna go to sleep here. That’s, that’s not gonna be good. Don’t, don’t fall asleep that way. That’s not, you know, and, um, well then smart seems different if I had been around other people who, um, who had similar kinds of intelligences, similar kinds of sensitivities.
[00:39:33] And, um, but broader, the world I wanna live in is one where, um, there’s more of a recognition of diversity that, um. And you know, there are people that are divergent enough that their capacity to hold a we space, um, might be, I, I, I know there are humans that would be filling our chat with all kinds of things that would be distracting.
[00:40:05] I might even have to say, Hey, for this we space that kinda weird doesn’t actually fit for us. That I’m not saying that there’s not a place for it.
[00:40:19] Yeah. Told you’re dumb. Well, again, like the model of intelligence for school is different than intelligence for thriving, right? Multifaceted intelligences. Um.
[00:40:38] Cathy: Especially following the rules or, yeah, just a different expression. Like I remember I’m very smart and I had a PhD when I met Rick, I working in a, a major lab and I was starving for information about energy and that kind of like the, the unfelt unseen things that people weren’t measuring.
[00:40:55] And when he would start speaking about it, I was like, my whole body was like, tell me more. I need more of this. I didn’t even know I was missing it. Like I didn’t, I kind of tuned out of it for myself because it was too weird for the community I was normally in and no one ever talked about it.
[00:41:12] Rick: Yeah. Side of the hand.
[00:41:19] Even though a part of me will react,
[00:41:22] Cathy: even though a part of me will react.
[00:41:24] Rick: That’s too weird.
[00:41:25] Cathy: That’s too weird.
[00:41:27] Rick: That might be a clue.
[00:41:29] Cathy: That might be a clue.
[00:41:31] Rick: To add a little curiosity.
[00:41:33] Cathy: To add a little curiosity.
[00:41:35] Rick: Is there anything in there for me?
[00:41:37] Cathy: Is there anything in there for me?
[00:41:40] Rick: Top of head? What?
[00:41:44] Is there anything in there for me?
[00:41:46] Cathy: Is there anything in there? For me,
[00:41:49] Rick: eyebrow, but it’s too weird for that group.
[00:41:52] Cathy: It’s too weird for that group.
[00:41:54] Rick: I, yeah. Good thing. I can be part of more than one group.
[00:41:57] Cathy: Good thing. I can be part of more than one group.
[00:42:00] Rick: There’s so many we spaces I can be a part of.
[00:42:02] Cathy: There’s so many we spaces I can be a part of
[00:42:04] Rick: Under the nose.
[00:42:05] I can even create my
[00:42:07] Cathy: own. I can even create my
[00:42:10] Rick: own Chen. What’s too weird?
[00:42:13] Cathy: What is too weird?
[00:42:16] Rick: Collarbone. Is that a general thing?
[00:42:18] Cathy: Is that a general thing?
[00:42:21] Rick: Is it a clue for me?
[00:42:22] Cathy: Is it a clue for me?
[00:42:25] Rick: I find myself weirdly curious about that.
[00:42:28] Cathy: I found myself weirdly curious about that.
[00:42:34] I love that.
[00:42:35] Rick: So weirdly curious says, oh, that’s weird. And I find myself weirdly curious about it.
[00:42:45] Cathy: That to me, I think it’s so useful to look at if there’s a big rejection of something. Is it something I’ve been inhibiting in myself for a long time? So like there are things that are just not, I don’t like to do that kind of weird, I’m not interested in it flying, jumping out of perfectly good airplanes.
[00:43:00] Not my good, I not what I want to do. You go ahead. But there’s some things that I’m like, oh, that’s awful. But then I realized it’s something that I’ve maybe wanted and inhibited myself. So I just wanna add that Didn’t mean to interrupt you. Interrupt.
[00:43:12] Rick: No, let’s do some tapping on that because that’s the difference between we teach in, in a, a concept for thriving is clarity.
[00:43:20] Clarity is like, yeah, I’m really clear. Jumping out of an airplane. Is not my sense of excitement. I’m not wired that way. It’s not something that I’m, um, now I know people that are weirdly cur, would weirdly curious about jumping out of airplanes and love watching those videos so that you kind of pretend that you’re there.
[00:43:43] I electric, but that’s not their thing, right? No, but that I know for you. But what Cathy has pointed to is, is the rejection coming from, I don’t want that to influence me. If I see somebody else doing it, I might get activated. Um, like giving hugs to strangers. Um, uh, my friend, the Booth Fair will say, um, over the many years that she’s been doing this, that there’ll be people that walk by, see free hugs and move 10 feet further away.
[00:44:18] Cathy: It might be contaminated and walk by, be contaminated by this.
[00:44:21] Rick: And interestingly enough. A non-zero percentage of them will walk by and this time when they walk by, they’re kind of like their brow is furrow. They look like what is going on here. And a non-zero percentage of those will then make a third or fourth or even fifth pass and tentatively walk up and get a free hug.
[00:44:49] I
[00:44:49] Cathy: love
[00:44:49] Rick: that. Now, sometimes when that happens, the person just looks so delighted that they’ve been freed up, literally, that you will then put them on a stand, which you like a standing ovation and the person’s like a what? Yeah. Stand on the stand and we will all give you a standing ovation. Talk about weird and then weird.
[00:45:13] But you know what she has noticed is that, um. It’s okay to be like, oh no, I’m not gonna do that. But if you’re weirdly curious, um, I, I think that that’s part of emotional freedom is to be able to say, you know, I’m not ready for that. But I am weirdly curious about what that is like. Yes. Yeah. You know, and, uh, there’s a part of me that appreciates that there’s somebody doing that in a world where a lot of people are lonely.
[00:45:49] Tears. Tears, you know, um, that somebody is putting themselves out there mm-hmm. On the street. Yeah. And she’ll collect groups of people that end up like group, you can pick your hugger. Right. Like, it’s, it’s so weird. It’s such a weird thing and so weirdly beautiful. Go ahead. Can we
[00:46:10] Cathy: just do some tapping on it?
[00:46:11] Rick: Then we’ll probably take a, a quick seven minute break.
[00:46:14] Cathy: Alright, so invite you to take a nice deep breath, get your body here, and now
[00:46:22] karate chop. Even though I’m really open to clarity,
[00:46:26] Rick: even though I’m really open to clarity,
[00:46:28] Cathy: I’m not really sure why I think this is so
[00:46:32] Rick: weird. I’m not really sure why I think this is so weird.
[00:46:35] Cathy: Is some old trauma blocking me?
[00:46:38] Rick: Uh, I wonder if some old trauma is blocking me
[00:46:43] Cathy: or have I just inhibited myself around this expression for a long time?
[00:46:47] Rick: Or have I just inhibited myself around this expression for a long time?
[00:46:52] Cathy: Or maybe it’s just not my kind of weird,
[00:46:56] Rick: or maybe it’s just not my kind of weird,
[00:46:59] Cathy: it’s all okay.
[00:47:03] Rick: AB says it’s all okay. She’s so weird.
[00:47:08] Cathy: And I’m open to just being mildly curious about this,
[00:47:12] Rick: and I’m open to being mildly curious about this until I’m clear.
[00:47:17] Cathy: Yeah, top of the head. Some part of me really wants to reject this,
[00:47:22] Rick: this some part of me really does reject this well, and
[00:47:25] Cathy: some part of me is judging them.
[00:47:28] Rick: And some part of me is judging them
[00:47:30] Cathy: side of the other. There’s nothing wrong with that.
[00:47:33] Rick: There isn’t anything wrong with that.
[00:47:35] Cathy: And the I, and I’m also curious why I’m having this reaction
[00:47:39] Rick: and I’m curious why I’m having this reaction
[00:47:42] Cathy: under the nose. I don’t wanna leave old Barry tra traumas floating around.
[00:47:49] Rick: I do not wanna leave old Barry Traumas hanging around
[00:47:53] Cathy: Tim, and I’m tired of inhibiting, inhibiting myself
[00:47:57] Rick: and I’m. I’m tired of inhibiting what’s authentic for me.
[00:48:02] Cathy: Color, bone, I really like clarity.
[00:48:06] Rick: Really like clarity
[00:48:08] Cathy: under there. Maybe this isn’t for me
[00:48:11] Rick: and maybe this isn’t for me
[00:48:13] Cathy: top of the head, but I’d like to know what, what is causing this reaction?
[00:48:17] Rick: What I’d like to know, what’s causing this reaction
[00:48:20] Cathy: so I can move forward authentically
[00:48:23] Rick: so I can move forward authentically
[00:48:26] Cathy: and just take a nice deep breath
[00:48:33] and just see what comes up for you. Different things come up for different folks. We’re all weird that way.
[00:48:41] Rick: Cathy and I are cuddle party facilitators
[00:48:44] Cathy: talk
[00:48:44] Rick: about weird and if you mention this to somebody, they go, oh dear, now about a, a certain number of people are like, really? Tell me more. It’s not weird to them or it’s exciting, it just falls right in directly into the exciting.
[00:49:02] Cathy: When’s the next one?
[00:49:03] Rick: Uh uh Yeah, when’s the next one? There are people that are, um, you know, seriously turned off by it and, you know, they’re like, and there’s a lot of reasons for that. And we just tapped on some. And if you’re the one who’s turned off by something and it doesn’t feel like clarity, it feels like repulsion.
[00:49:23] Um, there’s some things were really meant to hold enough of a boundary that pushes it farther out of our energy field. Um, but it’s worth looking at and tapping on it is an ideal way because you can speak what’s coming up for you. You don’t have to use our words. You can be like, it turns it, it repulses me because, and you know, like, I can’t, I can’t believe people do that.
[00:49:50] I can’t believe my mother would be offended, my grandmother would turn over in her grave if she knew that I was going to that. No way. I’m not going to do it. I’m not going to go to a cuddle party. And, um, yeah, well, I, I still wonder what they do. It’s probably secret. What if it’s not secret? What if I could, you know, and we’ve had people come and sit in the corner and look, pick, nap, watch and yeah, maybe.
[00:50:19] Maybe that’s weird, but that space particularly is designed to hold people saying no. In fact, that’s the one of the primary, um, space holding there, is that you get to say, no, you don’t have to participate. You can sit in the corner. There are things that you can’t do. You can’t just go up and grab somebody.
[00:50:38] Um, but it’s, by looking at that energy
[00:50:48] externally, it can really help. And when we come back, I’d like to also, it perhaps you can, we’re gonna take a seven minute break to the top of the hour. Um, consider what about yourself? You might be repulsed by that actually could theoretically have a creative side to it. Something that, um, I.
[00:51:21] And creative side. Um, I’ll say co-creative side. I wanna make sure that, I believe that, um, the man who had the crooked smile, um, there are a lot of people that could be repulsed by that weirdness in themselves when they look in the mirror, but the fact that he made authentically embodied a smiling soul mm-hmm.
[00:51:56] Serves us in a way that, you know,
[00:52:05] it is different, it’s diverse, it’s use to me that’s useful for thriving and we, um, whatever it is for you, maybe something that you just. Our feeling and you brought, came here to say, you know, I, I want to bring more of this out in me. And I know that there are people, I don’t, you could even be like, I don’t think it’s weird, but they, she, he, they are gonna think it’s weird, someone in your world.
[00:52:36] So you don’t have to necessarily think of it as weird, but if you have other people. Okay, we’re gonna pause the recording and we’ll be back, um, about one after all. Right? And welcome back.
[00:53:02] Anyone want to share in the chat? What’s an aspect of yourself, which is
[00:53:11] something you wanna bring more out? Or you already are, but you like to relax into it or, um, settle and strengthen your confidence around it.
[00:53:24] Cathy: Well, I think also you were talking about if something’s just tapping into the shoulder repeatedly, like, Hey, I’d like to do this. Hey, this would be fun and you’re not allowing yourself.
[00:53:33] That could be a good one too.
[00:53:39] Well, people are thinking if they wanna share, I’d love to. One of the things, the huge benefit I’ve found about being, allowing myself to be even more weird, being more authentic, is that my connection with myself and with other people feels much easier and the flow is nicer. Um, I think when we’re pretending and we’re kind of like inhibiting ourselves, that gets in the way of, we often tend to inhibit other people if we’re inhibiting ourselves, um, or want to, and then it’s like barriers of armor between us and actual connection with each other.
[00:54:12] Um, I’m working with someone who does a lot of somatic work, and I love this. Is it okay to share this now while we’re waiting for people to type? I just really love this and I invite you to try this. She’s, she invites for deeper connection and just, uh, just try it if you’d like. Imagine you’re listening to my voice from the front of your spine, from top to bottom, that it’s just kind of like a, a receiver.
[00:54:34] It’s noticing the vibration in the bones, in your spine. Um, and just let yourself let. Feel the connection between us and see if it feels different to you. See if there’s a, a sense of your hope. Like you kind of have to be in your own body to feel that you have to be open. But for me it feels I actually get endorphins when I listen to someone from the, the front of my spine.
[00:54:56] It feels like there’s a closeness and a fulfillment that I’m not getting other ways. Um, so, but it’s really hard to listen to someone from the front of your spine if you have walls of, of layers of armor between you and that other person. If you have a lot of pretending in the way, for me, it’s very hard to open up to them.
[00:55:15] Um, so I just invite you to try that. It makes me feel really good when I do it, and I’ve been trying to just let myself be with that more often and just, I feel like I’m much more present with the people. I’ve been doing a lot of Buddhist work and it’s like, I feel like I am there with that person right in the moment, feeling those vibrations, and it’s very yummy to me.
[00:55:35] Sovi, I’m curious if people have noticed anything different, but you can try that.
[00:55:42] Rick: If you like, which makes the point of the workshop. It just, there’s a weird person out there who shared with Cathy this weird thing. Listen with the front of your spine.
[00:55:56] Cathy: I didn’t think of that.
[00:55:59] Rick: And Cathy tried it and it’s, as she said, you know, she’s getting good energy from, it feels good.
[00:56:08] Even there’s a sense of wonder and connection that comes from hearing someone, even my own voice, if I’m hearing it from that part of the front of my spine, there’s a, a resonance that I’m noticing. Mm-hmm. That gives me energy. And then, you know, Cathy’s weird enough to bring it up and share with other people.
[00:56:33] Right. And to invite others to consider. And that to me is part of the wonder of having people that are weird in a way that works for you. I like, I want to be thriving, so people that try things and that support their thriving. Mm-hmm. I wanna be regulated. I like to co-regulate. I like to co-create. Yeah.
[00:57:04] I’m, I’m weird enough about co-creating that. Um, when AI came along, I looked for how could ai, um, work with me in a way that reminds me of co-creating at its finest for me. Mm-hmm. Or if not that it’s finest. At least you know the, oh, this feels good. This feels good. Oh, yeah. I, uh. Yeah, that’s co-creating.
[00:57:34] We’re not agreeing, it’s not coming out the way I want. I’ve had employees, I’ve worked as an employee. I’ve, you know, I’m my own boss and often it doesn’t come out the way that I want. Um,
[00:57:50] um, but when we, when we share our weirdnesses, there is a cross pollination of consciousness that adds diversity and things that have, um, have value will spread. If, if people are shut off, like, well, it works for me, but it would be weird to bring it up, you know, with my best friend. What do we get?
[00:58:21] Constipated are, are. Instead of sharing things that work for us and letting people be a little like, okay, I hear your enthusiasm about it. I’m not even ready to try it. That’s the walking maybe 10 feet away. Or like, I love you, but please don’t, you know, please don’t ask me to do that. Um,
[00:58:48] that’s, that’s part of why we come together in circle, the thriving Now circle. It’s part of why I feel that, um, somebody just shared a, a beautiful image on the, the center. We have a community center and they shared something. They hadn’t been around for a while, but then moving in and sharing that, I, I still feel the energy of it, even though my brain can’t like describe it to you.
[00:59:21] It landed in my. In that more the front of my spine, the resonance with each other. Is that weird? Yeah, in a good way. If we’re gonna use our sensitivity, we’re going to use our, um, our brilliance, whether it’s intelligence, blah, blah, or our luminance, um, our artistry. As someone said, you know, I, I was being a creative genius.
[00:59:55] I’ve been afraid to be as weird as I am. Yeah. I still tend to hide my light under a bushel. And
[01:00:06] part of the skill for me is, and I is to recognize that my weirdness isn’t actually meant, I.
[01:00:26] You know, I’m not excluding anyone out there actively, but I don’t, when I publish, when I send out a newsletter, when I share something intimate, I, it’s okay that I attune myself to not being a part of the, the grand performance, right? I, my, my weirdo that lives with me. I’ll be surprised if there’s not performance in their future.
[01:01:04] But for me, um, to be here with this intimate group feels right, things come out in this context. And if, if we’re, uh, an introvert, um, and quiet. We can create connections with people that are quieter
[01:01:31] opportunities to, I know people that just love to sit and read different books together. They get together and they just, they don’t even talk. They just read their own book. But there’s something nourishing about being connected that way. I have tech friends who are brilliant and they will co-work. They won’t even talk about what they’re doing with each other.
[01:02:08] They just, just
[01:02:08] Cathy: the energy of being near each other.
[01:02:09] Rick: Just the energy of. Coworking places where you don’t even know anyone. And being in the vibe of it is that weird, yeah’s, it works though for a lot of people and that’s where somebody thought it would be a weirdly good idea to create a space where people could work, um, on their own thing.
[01:02:32] Sometimes there would be, you know, connections that would, would arise from that. Um, like someone said, you know, when my brain condition is flared, most people look away like I’m not even there. Mm-hmm.
[01:02:47] Cathy: It’s tough when people don’t know how to respond and they often feel afraid. It’s not necessarily even rejection, it’s just like, I’m not sure what’s appropriate, so I’m just going to pretend I’m not seen.
[01:02:58] Rick: Exactly. And that’s sort of a normal primitive brain response now. Weird me now I’m not.
[01:03:12] There’s a lot of things that I do where people pretend I’m not dancing on the treadmill. For example,
[01:03:18] Cathy: la la, la, la. No, no, no,
[01:03:20] Rick: no, no, no, no. I am running it. No. And, and like, so you said it looks disturbing
[01:03:29] Cathy: because it’s outside the norm.
[01:03:31] Rick: It’s outside the norm. It’s um,
[01:03:37] anything that’s outside the norm. If I hear a, a, a bird that I’ve never heard or an animal I’ve never heard, there’s a disturbance in the field. Of course. Yeah. Right. People that walk with a different gate, um, are, uh, there’s a disturbance in the field and one of the things that energy work can open us up to is, okay, that’s sort of the normal visual, energetic perspective.
[01:04:08] Now I. How do I want to weirdly consider myself? Well, I walked through the world and I am influencing the field I am. Ooh. I look, they’re actively ignoring me. Right? Or, um, you try on various ways energetically, to feel connected. Um, when I feel like that isolation energy of the norm response, I’ll imagine that somebody’s dancing or, you know, we’re, we’re in this kinda weird, weird movement thing together, right?
[01:04:58] Um, if I am gliding down the trail. With my walking sticks, my hiking sticks. Right. But I am using them like I am a four-legged creature, and I am, I am moving differently most of the time. Um, why? Because I want to use it for mobility and dancing down the trail and moving my body in expressive ways. I do tone it down when I’m by somebody that’s like, okay, do I need to run?
[01:05:31] Um, that’s part of sharing the trail, but energetically I’m more connected. My energy is more connected with the tree tops that are moving and doing this than they are with people that are not in that. And every once in a while I see somebody that’s like, oh. I could do that too. I didn’t know you could do that.
[01:05:58] Cathy: And curious people. I think part of it is when people, someone shared that something looks disturbing. Disturbing, like when they have their brain condition acts up or whatever, anything that is weird, quote unquote to other people can often feel disturbing. And having other people judge us as being weird can feel disturbing.
[01:06:17] Our society in general is not good at being with ourselves when we feel disturbed. So I had someone at work that came in in a wheelchair and I wasn’t sure of the protocol, like how to be supportive. And I was feeling weird. I was feeling disturbed, not because I was disturbed by the person being in a wheelchair, but because I didn’t know what the correct protocol was to like interact in a respectful way.
[01:06:42] And so I got in my head and I was like, kind of, I’m sure I looked uncomfortable and. When I just stopped and I was just with my own disturbance, it’s like, oh, I feel uncomfortable, I feel disturbed about this. I don’t know what to do. I calmed down, I breathed, and I was like, oh, what if I treated this person like a real, like just like another person.
[01:07:05] So I sat down in a chair, so we were near eye level and I just started talking with the person as a person. So I think when we can, one of the things that we talk about a lot is just being with our feelings and maybe doing some tapping on it. If I couldn’t do that in the middle of the office, but I could tap on my fingertips or my side of my hand.
[01:07:23] Um, but once I just started being with myself about the disturbance, I immediately calmed down and had better options. Hmm. And I think so many people are so uncomfortable around feeling uncomfortable that anything that’s outside the norm, they’re like, ah, I need to run away. That person needs to stop 'cause they’re making me feel uncomfortable.
[01:07:39] Versus can I deal with my own discomfort about what’s going on in the world? It’s different. A twisting.
[01:07:47] Rick: Yeah. And the empowerment that comes from recognizing that, um, related to other people. And then we can apply it the same thing. Like, oh, I’m going into a situation where I am likely to be a standout in some weird, um, way, and there’ll be a disturbance in the field, or, uh, you know, a disturbance in the flow.
[01:08:09] Uh, you know, my, my favorite rock to sit on in the, in the river disturbs the flow of the river. Mm-hmm. But it’s still like where I want to sit and, um,
[01:08:23] to, to recognize that, oh, I’m picking up the people that are kind of in their primitive brain moving away, not wanting to connect. What else is here? That’s part of using sensitivity. And freedom. Is there anything else going on here? And when we do that, we’re taking our weirdness and at least grounding it.
[01:08:54] This is part of the energetic challenge. Mm-hmm. I’ve noticed if I am, if I’m doing something that is allowed in the space, but it’s out of the ordinary mm-hmm.
[01:09:17] I’m not very ordinary. Um, if I spend some time tapping on the feelings I had by doing it or avoiding it, I find myself more free. I can drop in and settle into my body rather than being aware as an external reference say. Oh, well, if I’m noticing that outside of me, what am I noticing inside of me? That’s not in res reaction to them, but in myself.
[01:09:50] Like, oh, okay. I want to ground myself. I want feel my own spine. I want to feel the resonance of my own presence and what matters to me.
[01:10:05] Cathy: Can we tap on that? You wanna lead it or you want me to?
[01:10:11] Rick: Uh, I’m feeling John. Mm-hmm.
[01:10:17] Even though when I have expressed my weirdness,
[01:10:20] Cathy: even though when I’ve expressed my weirdness,
[01:10:22] Rick: I get a weird energy back.
[01:10:25] Cathy: I get a weird energy back,
[01:10:28] Rick: and a part of me makes them my reference
[01:10:30] Cathy: and a part of me makes me their reference makes them my reference. Sorry, them my reference.
[01:10:37] Rick: Yeah. Their discomfort seems to matter more to me.
[01:10:42] Cathy: Their discomfort seems to matter more to me.
[01:10:46] Rick: And I get that as a first reaction,
[01:10:48] Cathy: and I get that as a first reaction.
[01:10:50] Rick: It’s not where I choose to stay.
[01:10:52] Cathy: It’s not where I choose to stay
[01:10:55] Rick: top of the head. Is my weirdness allowed in this space?
[01:10:59] Cathy: Is my weirdness allowed in this space?
[01:11:02] Rick: Eyebrow? Is the space designed for it?
[01:11:05] Cathy: Is the space designed for it
[01:11:07] Rick: side of the eye? Is it okay to be this weird here?
[01:11:10] Cathy: Is it okay to be this weird here?
[01:11:13] Rick: Under the eye. If not, I’ll find a place where I can.
[01:11:17] Cathy: If not, I’ll find a place where I can
[01:11:20] Rick: under the nose
[01:11:24] and if it feels good to be me,
[01:11:27] Cathy: if it feels good to be me.
[01:11:29] Rick: Even if they think it’s weird,
[01:11:31] Cathy: even if it’s, they think it’s weird.
[01:11:33] Rick: Chin, it’s okay.
[01:11:34] Cathy: It’s okay.
[01:11:36] Rick: It’s allowed,
[01:11:38] Cathy: it’s allowed
[01:11:39] Rick: under the arm. It’s even good for me.
[01:11:41] Cathy: It’s even good for me.
[01:11:43] Rick: Top of the head. I’ve had people bash me over it.
[01:11:47] Cathy: I’ve had people bash me over it.
[01:11:49] Rick: My brow. I’ve really been bashed as a kid. I’ve really been bashed as a kid. I, I’ve been given that look as an adult.
[01:11:56] Cathy: I’ve been given that look as an adult
[01:11:58] Rick: and I normies, don’t get me
[01:12:02] Cathy: normies, don’t get me.
[01:12:06] Rick: And what if that’s okay
[01:12:07] Cathy: and what if that’s okay?
[01:12:09] Rick: I’m not trying to live for them.
[01:12:10] Cathy: I’m not trying to live for them.
[01:12:13] Rick: I wanna be me.
[01:12:14] Cathy: I wanna be me
[01:12:16] Rick: and let my wonders out,
[01:12:18] Cathy: let my wonders out.
[01:12:27] Rick: Again, if somebody is crafting a space that’s a, a wedding and you’re trying to draw all the attention to yourself by juggling up and down the aisle, that kind of
[01:12:46] not respecting and being safe for the we space that is being created. I get that. As a parent, a lot of what I do is trying to help our kids recognize this is a place a we space or a we time, where this expression is welcome. And there are other times where, you know, it’s disturbing others and other places where it’s really not appropriate to, to do that.
[01:13:16] And that applies. And I, I, when we’re weird, is wonderful. It does not say that every place is compatible with all of our weirdnesses. I have some friends that just love finding isolated places in nature and running around naked. Other people would be like, ah. Now one of the interesting things is if somebody happens upon them, I.
[01:13:49] Even though nature is a place where animals run around naked and humans can run around naked and there may not be any law as soon as other people show up, it may be that the we space at that waterfall has changed and they want to adapt to that. I’m not, I’m not placing judgment, but if we’re gonna create thriving spaces, I want you to, I, it was important for me to feel that it is possible today to create spaces like we are doing right here.
[01:14:25] Mm-hmm. Where certain things are part of the agreement, certain things are, certain things are not personal attacks in the chat, that that’s not okay. You know? Um, and. We get to find places and find ways to express it. And even if it is deeply intimate and private, if there’s a weird aspect of you, you put a coach or a therapist, a coach friend, right?
[01:14:59] Um, let’s, I, I’m open. My inbox is open, rick@thrivingnow.com. Um, if you wanna brainstorm spaces where you could feel a certain part of you come out in a way that is not, um, not harmful to others or to yourself, but give you a chance to be in your harvestry. Um, you know, I, I know somebody that I mentioned, you know, you don’t have to use your real name, mark Twain.
[01:15:32] It wasn’t Mark Twain, right? Uh, and they’re like, what? And they went off. To publish the things that they wanted to publish in art and in, in music and the like. And they use, they use multiple synonyms depending on which, which of their many personalities is coming out at that time. And probably they have more that I don’t even know about now.
[01:15:58] And to me that is one of the beautiful things that we can do and humans have done. So artistry, let me, I love the word artistry. I am not the creator of it, but I’m the amplifier of it. I thought, Ooh, that’s a weird world word. I like it. And to me it includes artistry. Anything that you might consider art, but it also includes what matters to you.
[01:16:22] Some expression. Mm-hmm. I use this out on social media and this dude was definitely a dude wrote artistry. And with that, that green vomit emoji.
[01:16:37] Cathy: Oh,
[01:16:38] Rick: not your
[01:16:38] Cathy: person,
[01:16:39] Rick: not my person. What’s interesting is he gave me such a gift because I tapped on it. I was, I was angry, I was sick to my stomach. I was like, what does this mean?
[01:16:51] And then I did, was able to land on the clarity. He’s not my person. Mm-hmm. And, and in, in that, in that realm, I can mute them, block them. I do, I do curate, uh, my, my spaces as best I can. But it doesn’t mean that, um,
[01:17:15] it’s OI believe that that example is a case where being, if you need some more emotional prep work, like if I put my weird music out here, there’s a, there’s a likelihood I’m gonna get. This kind of reaction. I don’t feel prepared for it. We can prepare, we can have frames of references. Reframes. The reframe of, yeah, I didn’t do it.
[01:17:44] I didn’t create that word for you. It’s not your word. You know that word’s not for you. It’s for my freedom kin. It’s for the weirdo weird ones who want to bring their wonders out into the world and do work that matters and express themselves in ways that matter. And that’s what that word is for. It’s not for somebody that makes them sick.
[01:18:05] Yeah. Yeah. Right. These are not my people. I.
[01:18:07] Cathy: Right, and I wanna invite you like it’s, when it’s someone external, it can still bring up a lot of emotion. But if you have old traumas, if you’re bashed by your family, had really big experiences, you’re still carrying the trauma, those voices are probably internalized.
[01:18:21] And someone was sharing how they wanted their feel, introverted, they wanna be more self expressed. And maybe that’s just a matter of doing a little work. I used to be so scared of people and I was not, I was more than an introvert. I was a hideaway person. And over time with tapping, and everyone gets their renewal different ways, but I’ve become much more a introvert, someone who’s, I can be someone extroverted, but I still recharge someone alone.
[01:18:45] You know, I’m not an introvert even more anymore, but I, I just wanna caution, if you’re on this call or listening to it later, if you find a big resistance, don’t beat yourself up. This is not about adding another way to, for you to like be hard on yourself. I. Get some support and tap away some of that old trauma.
[01:19:03] And then there might be a lot more room and energy for you to be more extroverted or more, you know, sharing your awareness or expressing yourself however you want to. Um, I just wanted to say that because I, I worry that people, oh, I should be this, I should be able to be weird. All these other people are weird and I want to take that away.
[01:19:22] And I just also wanna honor, like, the courage it takes to look at being weird. It’s not a topic that many people go, Ooh, this is the best call to do on a Sunday afternoon. I can’t wait. I’m gonna go learn how to be more weird. Um, or, you know, embrace my weirdness. Um, so I just, I really appreciate the curiosity and your expression that brought you here today.
[01:19:42] It just feels special to me to be here without each of you and your courage and sharing too.
[01:19:48] Rick: Thank you for being a part of a world where I believe that the seeds of solutions and. Um, what we want to cultivate together is gonna come from people that are unique enough in their life experiences, in what matters to them, that we’re going to share and influence and inspire and surprise and delight each other in ways that are not performance.
[01:20:31] They’re, oh, I tried this and, and weirdly, it, it really helped me and I discovered this, and weirdly, it helped me. And, you know, the other day I just, I just started talking to myself and I just felt so much better. I.
[01:21:03] My imaginary friend visited me from my childhood. Been a long time and, uh, yeah, it was so good to get reacquainted. Um, when we, when we’re willing to share things about our inner world, um, it does take courage
[01:21:27] and there’s no requirement. As Cathy said, there’s no should here because I’ve come to know that one of the weirdest things, one of the weirdest things that I’ve noticed is that your insights, your wisdom, even if you never publish it anywhere, never tell a friend.
[01:21:55] It, we are connected in ways that allow that to reach people that might be weird enough to share the word, publish it. Um, tell a friend who tells a friend, who tells five other friends. Um, there is, in my world, weird world of wonders. Um, the work that you do on yourself, the more clarity that you have about what matters, about how, as you imagine things, how they, how you see them, possibly see them, uh, as you express your artistry, as you click like on something and your energy goes yes.
[01:22:37] That, um, that we are connected in a way that allows that to amplify and support our thriving even through difficult transformations.
[01:22:48] Cathy: Yeah. I love it.
[01:22:51] Rick: Thank you.
[01:22:52] Cathy: Yeah. I hope you listen to other people and yourself and life through the back of your, the front of your spine. Let it really connect and just be you.
[01:23:01] Thanks for being here. Bye bye everyone.
Great to have you on this journey with us!