How do I discern what’s right for me? And for us?
On a crowded playground, I can discern my daughter’s laughter and cries from other kids with high accuracy.
What made it so hard for me to discern my own glee and gloom from other people’s voices?
Perhaps it was authority. But who rules me? Growing up, it was parents and teachers. “Respect your elders” (even if they are drunk abusive arrogant arseholes).
Of the emotional skills that matter most in my healing and thriving, discernment is #1.
Discernment sits at the spot of the observer, recognizing nuances in emotional energy. It can tell the difference between anger from hurt and anger rises from being told to do something that isn’t right for me.
Discernment is the superpower of knowing whether the empathetic feelings active in me are “mine” or “theirs.” For us super sensitives, “our feelings” often are an interwoven mix from what we pick up from others and what we feel ourselves in response.
As an auditory person, the sea of voices outside me are part of my awareness. Thriving is made possible by the skill of figuring out what is true and directive for ME…
…while not always reconciling that for EVERYONE!
Go right. No go LEFT. Pick that one. No, you’re an idiot if you like that!
Eeek!
Discernment in my experience is different from understanding. It can include understanding. But it activates within different channels than just what I understand.
Have you ever felt like you didn’t “understand” and later discovered you were being manipulated?
I typically do not have difficulty “understanding.” My mind works fine. I’ve noticed, though, that when listening to professional liars that I have a “hard time understanding.”
Why is that?
If I keep trying to understand… I get even more confused! Why?!?
Well, the skill of discernment asks, “What happens in your body and mind when someone is trying to deceive you, or is selfishly trying to get you to do something that benefits THEM… and they don’t care (really) about whether it is right for YOU?”
Oh wow, it’s been so so helpful to know what that feels like in my body! Going all the way back in history I can feel hundreds of times when those sensations rose in me… to help me navigate… even when I wasn’t always free to act on that knowing.
Freeing up our energy sensors to guide us better is what Cathy and I will explore with the circle on Monday. Would you like to join us? (Or, register now and get the recording later if you can’t be with us live – we’ll miss you!)
Replay is below
A Real Skills Workshop for: Savvy Relating and Engaging
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With love,
Rick & Cathy ~ ThrivingNow
Your Emotional Freedom Coaches
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P.S. Adira says, “I discern that love often feels warm and cozy… not always… but often.”
